So far I have found a few things that distinguish women who experience more sex-negativity and sexual dysfunction. They — and in my youth I would count myself among them — are more likely to:
- Worry that God will punish them for their sexuality
- Have sex-negative parents
- Have sex-negative friends
- If they are slut-shamed by their peers they feel deeply “wrong” and shameful
- They refrain from learning about their sexuality and what works for them
RoSo is a straight 24-year-old woman of East Asian descent. Here is her story: Read the rest of this entry
The answer depends:
1) What do you mean by “repression.”
2) Which sex counts as “a Victorian.” Read the rest of this entry
Here’s a quick primer: Read the rest of this entry
Since “Female Armor Sucks” has over 11 million views you may have already seen the video below. But since students keep sending me a link, I give up: I’ll post it.
Along with a quiz:
Why does heroine-armor fail to cover vital organs? Read the rest of this entry
- Women’s self-esteem.
- Women’s ability to enjoy sexuality. (And if women enjoy it more so do men.)
- Getting rid of double standards
But I’m not interested in shaming men about the fetish. So what is my point? How would I like to see things change? Read the rest of this entry
I saw sex as sacred when I was growing up.
That was how most people talked about it at home and at church and even sex ed in middle school.
So when I was just in my early teens I thought of sex as being more about the love and relationship you have with your partner, and sex was secondary. Read the rest of this entry
It can actually hurt both men’s and women’s sexual experience.
Sounds counterintuitive. But consider this: Read the rest of this entry
My blog post, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” prompts a lot of men to write in and say “It ain’t so!”
So I ask what difference it makes whether it’s nature or nurture?
Few respond. But “Sam” did. To paraphrase:
A lot of women think that guys who get excited about breasts are immature, infantile or perverts. So men get defensive if someone suggests their attraction is socialized. If we can say ‘it is hardwired’ we can immediately dismiss those views and classify ourselves as neither perverts nor as overgrown babies… Incidentally, I can say it certainly feels completely and utterly hardwired.
When I first had sex with my boyfriend I was scared.
I wasn’t worried about how to do sex. But I was afraid of this thing that was going to come inside me.
I remember thinking it looked like a snake and I had visions of it biting me or something. Long story short, I was scared of the sex act. Read the rest of this entry
Some guys pressure their partners for the porn star experience.
Sure, some women are into PSE. But if you are pressuring her, it can totally backfire. Read the rest of this entry