Blog Archives

Am I Trying To Shame Men’s Breast Fetish?

My blog post, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” prompts a lot of men to write in and say “It ain’t so!”

So I ask what difference it makes whether it’s nature or nurture?

Few respond. But “Sam” did. To paraphrase:

A lot of women think that guys who get excited about breasts are immature, infantile or perverts. So men get defensive if someone suggests their attraction is socialized. If we can say ‘it is hardwired’ we can immediately dismiss those views and classify ourselves as neither perverts nor as overgrown babies… Incidentally, I can say it certainly feels completely and utterly hardwired.

Read the rest of this entry

Porn and My Sex Education

By Juanita Rodriguez 

When I first had sex with my boyfriend I was scared.

I wasn’t worried about how to do sex. But I was afraid of this thing that was going to come inside me.

I remember thinking it looked like a snake and I had visions of it biting me or something. Long story short, I was scared of the sex act. Read the rest of this entry

Demanding The Porn Star Experience Can Totally Backfire

porn-star-experience

Hiding from the porn star experience.

Some guys pressure their partners for the porn star experience.

Sure, some women are into PSE. But if you are pressuring her, it can totally backfire.  Read the rest of this entry

When Hookup Culture Was Just a Toddler 

19th century college men.

American Hookup by Occidental sociology professor Lisa Wade explains a lot. Like hookup culture’s early beginnings.

I’ll hit a few highlights. For more check out her book or an excerpt in Time. Read the rest of this entry

Wanna Know What Guys Want? 

What guys want. For you to enjoy yourself.

Checking out porn to see what guys want?

Women sometimes do this. But it could backfire.

A young man commenting on my blog worried that his girlfriend (his first sexual partner) had done just that:

It seems she’s done research in pornography, and for the past couple of months she does things she thinks girls do all the time during sex.

But he didn’t like it. To paraphrase: Read the rest of this entry

School Scandal Targets “Her” Not “Him”

slut-shaming-candy-manBy Rebecca S. 

The sexual revolution has arrived. Women and men, alike, are free to enjoy sex, right?

Not if the school scandal that roared during my junior year is any measure.

“Janet” was popular, and a talented player on our school’s field hockey team.

Until word got around that she had filmed a sex tape with a guy from our school. Read the rest of this entry

Men: Forget Your Own Orgasm

lovers-in-bedTherapist Scott Williams advises men: Forget your own orgasm and you’ll get amazing sex.

Why would that be?

Scott asked couples in one of his relationship courses if they had an orgasm every time they had sex.

All of the men had. But none of the women did.

So he asked the men,

When is the last time you took care of your wife’s needs and didn’t worry about whether or not you were satisfied?

Read the rest of this entry

Straight Women O0ooo Less Than Everyone Else

couple-in-bedWhy do straight women orgasm less often than everyone else?

And what can they and their partners do about it?

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When it comes to sexual enjoyment there’s a big gap between straight women and everyone else say researchers from Chapman University, Indiana University and the Kinsey Institute.

A survey of more than 52,000 adults of various sexual orientations found that straight men climaxed 95% of the time. But straight women only climaxed 65% of the time. Read the rest of this entry

Outside the Sex-Negative Box

Mae West: "When I'm good I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better."

Mae West: “When I’m good I’m very good. But when I’m bad I’m better.”

Girls who lack desire are good girls?

Pretty much all of my students have witnessed slut-shaming in high school, and many have experienced it.

Or just listen to the radio and you’ll hear desiring girls insulted as “hoes.”

Because apparently, a girl with desire is a bad girl.

Some young women even defend their virtue after being raped by explaining that they felt no desire. Like Audrie and Daisy: Read the rest of this entry

Do Women Want Threesomes?

threesome_feetAre women up for a three-way?

And how closely does their interest track to what men think it is?

And do women know what men want?

I surveyed my students (83 women and 63 men who are not gay/lesbian) and found that their responses were consistent with other studiesRead the rest of this entry

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