Blog Archives

Men Dislike Double Standard More Than Women?

slut-shaming-candy-manPlenty of women hate the double standard that rewards men for having sex, but punishes women.

But on average, men dislike it more.

Why is that? Read the rest of this entry

Which Sex Has More Power, Sexually Speaking?

Which sex has more power, sexually speaking?

Which sex has more power, sexually speaking?

Who has more power when it comes to sex, men or women?

Many of us think “the other sex” has more. Probably because we get all hot and bothered when our own power is blocked.

But my students usually think that women have a stronger hold on sexual strings. Why? Because by social convention, women are expected to place limits. Read the rest of this entry

Beautiful People = The Best People? 

lovers-5Men go for looks because they are trying to mate with the healthiest, most reproductively viable women. Right? Even though to most widely spread their genes, guys will mate with just about anyone.

Yet women don’t care about looks so much because, even though women are very picky, clear physical cues to the best genes aren’t all that important. A man’s resources are what matter.

So say evolutionary psychologists.

Hmmmm. Maybe not. Read the rest of this entry

Repression Shutting Down Teen Girl’s Sexuality

Dilemmas of Desire by Deborah Tolman

Dilemmas of Desire by Deborah Tolman

Young women’s experience of sexuality was ignored by social scientists for years.

But about ten years ago San Francisco State professor Deborah Tolman interviewed high school girls who would be in their late 20s today.

Prof. Tolman had expected to unveil young women’s strong yearnings, but instead she found that most were hazy about their desire. It was dulled. Or even nonexistent. Read the rest of this entry

Welcome To My Open Marriage

Sex At Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Caclida Jetha.

Sex At Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Caclida Jetha.

A friend invited me into his open marriage.

Well, me and a bunch of our other female friends. Plus other women I don’t know.

I declined but he’s persistant. It’s a personality trait of his.

He sent a link quoting Christopher Ryan, author of “Sex at Dawn,” who said,

We assume monogamy is natural and preferable. But (controversial) evidence says “maybe not.” If monogamy isn’t necessarily natural, then we can stop shaming and discriminating against non-monogamous behavior.

Read the rest of this entry

Women in Pornography

porn-for-women[1]By Brittany Merry 

In America, pornography is almost unavoidable. What sorts of messages does it send?

To find out, I looked at the 10 “most viewed” videos on PornHub.

Two were celebrity sex tapes, and I didn’t look at those because their popularity was probably less about what they were doing than who was doing it.

All of the remaining videos were: Read the rest of this entry

She Wonders: Am I “Doing It” Right?

Puzzled womanWomen often get distracted in bed, wondering, “Am I doing it right?”

Maybe that’s why a number of my women students and blog readers have said they watch porn to figure out what guys like — not because they enjoy it, themselves — either the sex on screen or the sex moves they learn.

And they end up worrying about whether they are adventurous enough, moaning enough, loud enough, or “right.” And are they taking too long to cum?

When I told one of my friends about all this, “CJ” began telling me her story. As we sat at a kitchen table, drinking tea, she began: Read the rest of this entry

Men Guarding My Purity

Tara Conner, Miss USA 2006

Tara Conner, Miss USA 2006

By Lupe Martinez

Why do some men want to control women’s “purity”?

I was reading about Tara Conner, Miss USA 2006, who was almost stripped of her crown due to:

substance abuse, failing to make Miss USA promotional appearances, chafing at other obligations and nonstop nightclubbing at Big Apple hot spots.

Being dismissed for substance abuse and failing to make obligations, I get. But nonstop nightclubbing? What’s the problem?

Donald Trump, the pageant’s co-owner, eventually came to her rescue, granting her a second chance. Read the rest of this entry

The Trouble With Fetishes

feetFetishes can be fun.

Shoes. Feet. Cabbage. (Or so I hear.)

Women’s breasts and butts…

Women’s breasts and butts are fetishized? Yep. The arousal they spark is not universal.

But here’s the problem: a fetish can actually harm our sex lives. Read the rest of this entry

Men Enjoy Themselves When Women Do

Sasha Grey

Sasha Grey

A lot of women think that their partners’ enjoyment is more important than their own.

It’s likely unconscious. But you see it every time a young woman gets distracted, focusing on how she looks, or what he wants, and how he feels…

… while completely ignoring how SHE feels.

But men actually enjoy themselves more when their partners are enjoying themselves.  Read the rest of this entry

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