My blog post, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” prompts a lot of men to write in and say “It ain’t so!”
So I ask what difference it makes whether it’s nature or nurture?
Few respond. But “Sam” did. To paraphrase:
A lot of women think that guys who get excited about breasts are immature, infantile or perverts. So men get defensive if someone suggests their attraction is socialized. If we can say ‘it is hardwired’ we can immediately dismiss those views and classify ourselves as neither perverts nor as overgrown babies… Incidentally, I can say it certainly feels completely and utterly hardwired.
When I first had sex with my boyfriend I was scared.
I wasn’t worried about how to do sex. But I was afraid of this thing that was going to come inside me.
I remember thinking it looked like a snake and I had visions of it biting me or something. Long story short, I was scared of the sex act. Read the rest of this entry
Some guys pressure their partners for the porn star experience.
Sure, some women are into PSE. But if you are pressuring her, it can totally backfire. Read the rest of this entry
Checking out porn to see what guys want?
Women sometimes do this. But it could backfire.
A young man commenting on my blog worried that his girlfriend (his first sexual partner) had done just that:
It seems she’s done research in pornography, and for the past couple of months she does things she thinks girls do all the time during sex.
But he didn’t like it. To paraphrase: Read the rest of this entry
The sexual revolution has arrived. Women and men, alike, are free to enjoy sex, right?
Not if the school scandal that roared during my junior year is any measure.
“Janet” was popular, and a talented player on our school’s field hockey team.
Until word got around that she had filmed a sex tape with a guy from our school. Read the rest of this entry
Therapist Scott Williams advises men: Forget your own orgasm and you’ll get amazing sex.
Why would that be?
Scott asked couples in one of his relationship courses if they had an orgasm every time they had sex.
All of the men had. But none of the women did.
So he asked the men,
When is the last time you took care of your wife’s needs and didn’t worry about whether or not you were satisfied?
And what can they and their partners do about it?
When it comes to sexual enjoyment there’s a big gap between straight women and everyone else say researchers from Chapman University, Indiana University and the Kinsey Institute.
Girls who lack desire are good girls?
Pretty much all of my students have witnessed slut-shaming in high school, and many have experienced it.
Or just listen to the radio and you’ll hear desiring girls insulted as “hoes.”
Because apparently, a girl with desire is a bad girl.
Some young women even defend their virtue after being raped by explaining that they felt no desire. Like Audrie and Daisy: Read the rest of this entry