Young women’s experience of sexuality was ignored by social scientists for years.
But about ten years ago San Francisco State professor Deborah Tolman interviewed high school girls who would be in their late 20s today.
A friend invited me into his open marriage.
Well, me and a bunch of our other female friends. Plus other women I don’t know.
I declined but he’s persistant. It’s a personality trait of his.
He sent a link quoting Christopher Ryan, author of “Sex at Dawn,” who said,
We assume monogamy is natural and preferable. But (controversial) evidence says “maybe not.” If monogamy isn’t necessarily natural, then we can stop shaming and discriminating against non-monogamous behavior.
Maybe that’s why a number of my women students and blog readers have said they watch porn to figure out what guys like — not because they enjoy it, themselves — either the sex on screen or the sex moves they learn.
And they end up worrying about whether they are adventurous enough, moaning enough, loud enough, or “right.” And are they taking too long to cum?
When I told one of my friends about all this, “CJ” began telling me her story. As we sat at a kitchen table, drinking tea, she began: Read the rest of this entry
By Lupe Martinez
Why do some men want to control women’s “purity”?
I was reading about Tara Conner, Miss USA 2006, who was almost stripped of her crown due to:
substance abuse, failing to make Miss USA promotional appearances, chafing at other obligations and nonstop nightclubbing at Big Apple hot spots.
Being dismissed for substance abuse and failing to make obligations, I get. But nonstop nightclubbing? What’s the problem?
Donald Trump, the pageant’s co-owner, eventually came to her rescue, granting her a second chance. Read the rest of this entry
Shoes. Feet. Cabbage. (Or so I hear.)
Women’s breasts and butts…
Women’s breasts and butts are fetishized? Yep. The arousal they spark is not universal.
But here’s the problem: a fetish can actually harm our sex lives. Read the rest of this entry
It’s not unusual these days for a young woman to become preoccupied with how attractive she looks, habitually seeing herself through her partner’s eyes, and judging herself based on what she thinks he thinks. In other words, to self-objectify.
Instead of enjoying sex.
I’ve talked with friends about the phenomenon and a couple of them have opened up and told me their stories. Like “Sophie,” who let me relate her story in my blog. Read the rest of this entry
Many young women are now engaging in sex acts with men that prioritize the man’s pleasure, with little or no expectation of reciprocity.
So says cultural theorist Jackson Katz.
Sounds about right.
These young women are focused on how they look and what they do — and how their guys feel about how they look and what they do. Read the rest of this entry
By Anna Oseguera
About a year ago I was talking with a friend of mine, “Maria,” and the topic of sex and virginity came up. Maria said that when she was 18 years old a male friend of hers offered to “do her the favor” of taking her virginity.
That puzzled us. “Do her the favor” of taking her virginity?
Did he think that she couldn’t find anyone to have sex with because he thought she wasn’t attractive enough? And why would she want to lose her virginity, anyway? Isn’t virginity a good thing? Something to be saved until marriage? Read the rest of this entry