Blog Archives

Open Marriage Hasn’t Caught On?

Why hasn’t open marriage caught on?

Open marriage, the sensible alternative to monogamy?

On the plus side, a couple may enjoy a close-knit family and loving spousal relationship, but with an exciting dash of sexual variety.

Sex columnist, Dan Savage, is all for it. But he acknowledges that there are advantages to monogamy: sexual safety from infections, emotional safety, paternity assurances.

Still, he thinks monogamy brings boredom, despair, lack of variety, sexual death and being taken for granted. Plus, society imposes monogamy on  men, who were never expected to be monogamous, he complains. Read the rest of this entry

Healing Song: Love More

Love More by Sharon Van Etten

By David Chou

“Love More” is a sorrowful song with a hopeful ending.

A pulsing accordion is the first thing to hit your ears. Then comes the haunting voice of Sharon Van Etten, drawn out and steady. Within moments her lyrics paint a sad picture of domestic turmoil.

In an interview with Pitchfork Van Etten tells the story behind the song. Read the rest of this entry

Women Don’t Need Men – That’s Good For Men

More than ever, “mankind” is becoming a misnomer. With advanced understanding, we now know that women are both necessary and sufficient for reproduction, and men are neither.

So says Greg Hampikian, a Boise State biology professor. Expounding in the Times on how much women — and not men — are needed to propagate the species, he offers examples like this: Read the rest of this entry

How to Lose a Woman


By Raymond Bechard

Excerpted with permission from “How to Lose a Woman Forever” on The Good Men Project

Raymond Bechard summarizes Travis McGee’s views on women into 22 rules to losing the love of your life forever.

Read the rest of this entry

Porn Fantasy Mistaken for Reality

Porn fantasy versus reality.

Porn fantasy versus reality.

By Demon Ted

Does porn raise men’s expectations of how women should perform in bed? I believe it depends entirely on the man’s ability to distinguish between real life and fantasy.

True, you could try to recreate porn in real life. But then it’s not real. It’s acting. So you’re back to fantasy.

I think porn is great to enjoy. But men must realize what it is.

Unfortunately, a lot of men (and some women in regards to things like Twilight) get fantasy and reality mixed up. And that can harm relationships.

Take my girlfriend’s ex. He’s a nasty piece of work. Barely finished high school, can’t drive, no job. Literally sits at home all day. But because my girlfriend was young when she met him, he became a lot of “firsts.” And he made her think that things that weren’t healthy were. Read the rest of this entry

Don’t Buy Cow If Milk Is Free

cow-milk-for-freeA male reader, I’ll call him Jed, wrote in with this warning:

There is a price to be paid when women have casual sex. It might be unfair. It might not be unfair. But there it is, be it biology, socialization, patriarchy…whatever… If women give sex away for free, men won’t marry them.

Put more grossly:

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Read the rest of this entry

The Drip, Drip Toward Abuse

Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.

Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.

By Caroline R. 

At the beginning of my freshman year of college I began dating “Bob,” who seemed sweet, genuine and caring.

The first few months were the most amazing of my life. The perfect honeymoon. And I fell fast.

The rest of the relationship was a whirlwind of hurt. Read the rest of this entry

Sources of Power in Relationships

scales-of-justiceThere are many sources of power in relationships, but a few stand out:

1. Higher education, income, and occupational status, especially in marriage relationships when men make more money. Both partners tend to feel that a man should have more say since he contributes greater resources to the family.

When wives are economically dependent and fear they can’t support themselves, husbands can become especially powerful. Some abusive men purposely get their wives pregnant (by destroying their birth control) to increase their wives’ dependency – and their control over their partners.

Women are less likely to become more powerful than their husbands when they make more money because most don’t like feeling like they are emasculating their partners. Read the rest of this entry

Guys Just Wanna Have Relationships?

Hand holding“All men cheat.” “He can’t keep it in his pants.” “Men only talk about beer, sex and sports.”

That’s Lisa Hickey over at The Good Men Project reciting stereotypes about the supposed sex-craved male. But stereotypes aren’t reality, she says. And she’s got backup from Wake Forest psychology professor, Andrew P. Smiler who recently wrote a book called, “Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male.”

Smiler says it’s no wonder we think men are all about casual sex. Stereotypes abound and play out in pop culture. Walking through TV history we’ve got: Read the rest of this entry

Turning on the Sex Goddess

Naomi Wolf wants women to have better sex lives, and more empowered lives generally. Vagina: A New Biography seeks to light the way.

Wolf began researching this book after she regained her sexual desire, creativity and passion for life — much to her surprise — when her spinal cord was repaired.

I’ll discuss the larger life issues later. For now, let’s look at how her somewhat controversial book might benefit women with low libido, and the partners who love them.   Read the rest of this entry

%d bloggers like this: