Blog Archives

A Sex Object Not Enjoying Sex

body image poorIt’s not unusual these days for a young woman to become preoccupied with how attractive she looks, habitually seeing herself through her partner’s eyes, and judging herself based on what she thinks he thinks. In other words, to self-objectify.

Instead of enjoying sex.

I’ve talked with friends about the phenomenon and a couple of them have opened up and told me their stories. Like “Sophie,” who let me relate her story in my blog. Read the rest of this entry

Cindy Crawford Brings Men Pleasure; Women Pain

Cindy Crawford on Playboy cover

Cindy Crawford on Playboy cover

Women have mixed feelings about nearly-naked Cindy Crawford.

There is appreciation: “Attractive… sexy… love her!”

But also animosity (“F-ING ANNOYING” anyone?). And she makes a lot of women — nearly half — feel bad about their bodies.

Straight men, on the other hand, felt (no surprise) mostly pleasure.

But not all of them. Read the rest of this entry

Men Wanting Magnetic Power Over Women

"The opposite sex has enormous power over you."

“The opposite sex has enormous power over you.”

If you’re straight, at some point you realize that,

The opposite sex has enormous power over you. They can break your heart, control your actions, completely dominate your thoughts, and (let’s be honest) basically turn off your brain.

So says Noah Brand.

He makes me think of guys who have complained on my blog that women don’t find men attractive. And they yearn to weld the same magnetic power over women that women have over them. Read the rest of this entry

Am I Ugly? Girls Ask YouTube

"Am I ugly?" young girl asks You Tube

“Am I ugly?” young girl asks You Tube

A girl, age twelve or thirteen, posts a video on YouTube, asking:

I just wanted to make a random video seeing if I was like, ugly or not? Because a lot of people call me ugly and I think I am ugly … and fat. People say I’m ugly. So … tell me — am I?

Read the rest of this entry

I Like My Breasts. But I Like My Partner To Like ME, Too

470_2580418By Hannah Muric

I got breasts in fourth grade. And they have been the center of attention, ever since.

Now, all grown up, I have blossomed into a 32DDD. And since I am short and slim — 5’2″ and 115 lbs — they’re hard to hide.

I have no problem with my breasts. I like them. Yet from a young age I have worn baggy tops to minimize “the girls.”  Read the rest of this entry

Women Want Emotionally Connected Sex. Why?

105464-103886Women want emotionally connected sex.

Not all women, all the time.

But University of Texas psychologists, Cindy Meston and David Buss interviewed over 1,000 women around the world for their book, Why Women Have Sex, and here’s what they found:

Both women and men have sex because they are physically attracted, for pleasure, because they are in love, or just because they’re horny… the list goes on. But most women want emotionally bonded sex.

Men prefer emotionally bonded sex, too, by the way. But women are less likely to want it any other way.

Why? Read the rest of this entry

Breast Buds and Growing Pains

What's happening to me?

What’s happening to me?

By Bo Bi

Growing breasts can be awkward.

When I first started developing I was nervous about other people seeing my “breast buds” and thinking they were weird. And I felt embarrassed because my nipples kind of showed beneath my undershirt in those early days before I got permission to buy a bra.

The solution? Develop terrible posture. When I hung out with boys I slumped my shoulders, hoping they wouldn’t notice.  Read the rest of this entry

Body Image: What Guys Don’t Get

Mila Kunis

Mila Kunis

Do you ever worry that you’re too fat, too thin, or that your breasts or derrière might be too big, too small, too droopy, too lopsided…?

Men are often surprised when they find out that their partners are worried about such things— “You’re beautiful!” they think. Read the rest of this entry

Sexy = Sexual?

Paris Hilton, "That's hot!"

Paris Hilton, “That’s hot!”

When people talk about sexuality, they sometimes confuse looking sexy with being sexual.

At least when it comes to women.

You see a sexy woman and assume that she is sexual. When you don’t know anything about how she actually enjoys her experience in bed. Maybe she is just looking hot but not feeling hot. Read the rest of this entry

Fetishes are Natural – Unless Desensitized?

Paul Gauguin, Two Tahitian Women

Paul Gauguin, Two Tahitian Women

I get a lot of feedback on a piece I wrote called, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing.”

There, I note that you don’t find the breast fetish in every culture. For instance, you don’t find it in tribal societies. So it can’t be biological.

Several men have suggested that the fetish is natural, but when you see it all the time men simply become desensitized. Like this guy: Read the rest of this entry

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