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I Look Sexy, But I Don’t Feel Pleasure

Laci Green explains self objectification.

Laci Green explains self objectification.

I recently talked about “spectatoring” — watching yourself have sex instead of enjoying pleasure.

After surveying my women students I learned that three-quarters spent at least some of their time in bed distracted by how they looked. Most worried that they weren’t “hot” enough. And most also said that their concerns harmed their sexual experience to some degree.

But some women did think they were attractive. In fact, when I surveyed students about the last time they had sex, one young woman replied, “I think I looked pretty good.” Read the rest of this entry

Rather be a Victoria’s Secret Angel or You?

  1. L.A. Loves Alex's Lemonade Culinary EventPlayboy wanted to know how average-looking Lena Dunham, the award-winning producer, director, writer and star of HBO’s Girls, would feel if she woke up in the body of a Victoria’s Secret Angel.

Not so great, said Dunham, who frequently appeared nude on her show. Read the rest of this entry

Sexy Women Make Men Feel Bad About Themselves

Brooklyn Decker

By “Bob”

Sexy models like Brooklyn Decker can make women to feel bad about themselves when women feel like they don’t measure up.

But men can feel bad about themselves when they look at Brooklyn, too. Read the rest of this entry

Why Do I Care About The Breast Fetish?

470_2580418I’ve written a series of posts criticizing the breast fetish, not because I’m trying to shame men but because I am concerned with:

  • Women’s self-esteem.
  • Women’s ability to enjoy sexuality. (And if women enjoy it more so do men.)
  • Getting rid of double standards

But I’m not interested in shaming men about the fetish. So what is my point? How would I like to see things change? Read the rest of this entry

The Breast Fetish Distracts From Sex 

The breast fetish makes sex super-hot, right?

Maybe not.

It can actually hurt both men’s and women’s sexual experience.

Sounds counterintuitive. But consider this: Read the rest of this entry

I Liked My Body – Until I Was Told “Respect Yourself” 

By Vanessa Velaquez 

In the middle of writing an essay during my third week of high school I got called out of class.

I couldn’t imagine why, but my teacher’s tone meant I was in trouble. I was so scared. Since I had been writing an in-class essay I worried that she might accuse me of plagiarism.

Instead, she lectured me on self-respect.

Turns out, I had worn a shirt that was too low cut for her taste as I leaned over my desk to write. Read the rest of this entry

Keep Your Boobs, Get Better Guys

boobsIf I had I been more spiritually evolved, or more grounded at 22 when I got breast implants, I never would have gotten them. Yes I got lots of attention, sexual attention. And for awhile I enjoyed it. But as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for. It became apparent that the attention I received was not from quality people… Why did I mutilate my body to appease the tastes of SOME men? We were all duped by the media, the medical profession, our low self-esteem. I am now ready to have these D cups removed.

Read the rest of this entry

Gossip Magazines Are Like Abusive Boyfriends

By Linda Bakke

Star Magazine promotes violence against women.

Ok, that sounds like a tabloid headline, but the more I look over Star Magazine, the more I’ve been struck by a sense of violence directed at women.

The starlets are constantly attacked for any extra weight, cellulite, bunions, ugly fingers or thick arms. It feels like open season. “Kill the Celebrity” is the name of the game.

One section called “Knifestyles” advocates mutilating women through plastic surgery. With the accompanying message, “You’re not good enough.”

In fact, Star uses the same devices that characterize domestic abusers: watching the victim’s every move, humiliation, stressing the negative rather than the positive aspects of the victim (who is supposedly adored), using “it’s her fault” to launch an attack, and transferring the abuser’s dissatisfaction with life and himself onto the victim. Read the rest of this entry

The Evolution of a Beauty, a Beast and Us

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast’s Belle is much evolved from Disney’s early wimpy maidens.

That evolution tells us something about us, too. Read the rest of this entry

Is a C Cup Too Small??? !

cup sizeI read somewhere that most women who want breast augmentation ask for a C cup. But an awful lot of surgeons convince them to get D’s. Or the doctors simply give them a bigger size than they had asked for.

Denise Richards, actress, model and one of Charlie Sheen’s ex’s, said that when she was 19 years old a doctor put in bigger implants than she’d asked for.

Actress, Tara Reid, has a similar story:

I was 34B, but the right one was always bigger than the left. He gave me C’s, and I didn’t want them. At all.

Another woman wanted a breast reduction and lift. Her doctor mostly did “lift”Read the rest of this entry

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