“I wish I were objectified” yearned a male BroadBlogs reader. Other men have said the same, if less directly. I eventually turned the discussion into a blog post, warning: be careful what you wish for.
“Objectification” and “desire” are commonly confused. Beauty, charisma and confidence can each spark the latter, which is likely what these men wanted: to be desired.
Sex objects may be desired but they are also treated as if they are merely objects that have no thoughts or feelings to fret over. All that matters is someone else’s pleasure or purposes.
Consider the tragic objectification of one boy. Read the rest of this entry
Now I know that objectifying and desiring aren’t the same thing. But I’ve also learned that plenty of people are confused, like I was. When I talk about objectification I get reactions like:
- Women do it too!
- Women check out men!
- Girls drool over boy bands!
- Playgirl exists! (Well, it used to.)
- What’s wrong with desire?!
Sexual attraction is healthy and normal, right? Read the rest of this entry
I recently talked about “spectatoring” — watching yourself have sex instead of enjoying pleasure.
After surveying my women students I learned that three-quarters spent at least some of their time in bed distracted by how they looked. Most worried that they weren’t “hot” enough. And most also said that their concerns harmed their sexual experience to some degree.
But some women did think they were attractive. In fact, when I surveyed students about the last time they had sex, one young woman replied, “I think I looked pretty good.” Read the rest of this entry
Since women were so uncomfortable with the male stripper image I discussed last time I thought I’d try a more masculine image with a bit more clothing.
David Beckham is a conventionally attractive man who looks masculine and is known for his prowess in football (soccer to us Americans). And this type of photo (men’s underwear ads) occurs more often than others I’d shown my classes. Does that make a difference? Read the rest of this entry
How do women feel about pictures of men showing a lot of skin?
A few years back I surveyed students on a picture of Sly Stallone. You can see my writeup here. In brief: There was a mix of appreciation and discomfort.
He’s attractive and sexy. “He’s sexy, but” (He’s not my type… I don’t want to have sex with him…) He’s not attractive … it’s weird.
Some suggested I update the survey to include current stars like Channing Tatum, once named People’s sexiest man alive. So I asked 133 of my women students to write whatever thoughts came to them when looking at the picture below: Read the rest of this entry
A fully clothed woman is bewitching?
Looking at old ads suggests something about how we’ve changed and how we’ve stayed the same. Read the rest of this entry
That’s a quote from John Stoltenberg.
But it’s only partially true says Jackson Katz, a leader in the gender equality movement. Read the rest of this entry
Since “Female Armor Sucks” has over 11 million views you may have already seen the video below. But since students keep sending me a link, I give up: I’ll post it.
Along with a quiz:
Why does heroine-armor fail to cover vital organs? Read the rest of this entry
Women go to strip clubs for “fun” and female bonding, not to get aroused.
Or maybe they want to prove that they can objectify men just as much as men objectify them.
Sure, some women find male strippers sexy, but as Tracy Clark-Flory over at Salon acknowledges:
The typical atmosphere in such an establishment isn’t one of arousal and longing, the kind that reliably fills the air in a female strip club. As far as I can tell, female patrons are typically cracking up, shielding their eyes in mock horror or cartoonishly objectifying male dancers as a performance for their friends.
It all began when Amanda and a few of her middle school friends started videochatting with strangers just for fun. Some told her she was “stunning, beautiful, perfect,” a complement any 13-year-old would enjoy. Eventually, a man asked her to flash. And she did. Read the rest of this entry