Blog Archives

Real Men Don’t Beat, Rape Women

By Ted Esparza

family-violence[1]Constance Johnson was a domestic violence prosecutor – and also a battered wife.

She met her husband, Ben, in college and fell in love. They got married and were very happy for three years.

But then he began criticizing her. Everything was her fault. He was always right. And she was too fat — at 110 lbs.

After they moved near her husband’s aging parents to help them – Ben’s idea — the violence began. He didn’t seem happy after the move and one morning he decided he didn’t like his breakfast.

“Make it yourself.” Constance told him.

— SLAP — Read the rest of this entry

Becoming A Sex Worker – The Brutal

Some people get into sex work because it just seems to make sense to them, as I recently described. But more often the entry is brutal, whether poverty, drug addiction, or kidnapping force the involvement.

One prostitute writing “A Personal Refutation of the Concept of Choice” says: Read the rest of this entry

Safe v Dangerous Fraternities

Fraternity rape culture

Fraternity rape culture

When a Dartmouth frat brother invited “Lisa” to a house party she felt honored, and eagerly accepted. But after arriving she had just a couple of drinks and passed out.

The next thing she remembers is waking up at a hospital.

Sitting in her hospital bed she noticed bruises on her chest that looked like bites. Lisa told Janet Reitman at Rolling Stone, Read the rest of this entry

Men Can’t Resist Groping Sexy Ladies?

Stop sexual harassment!

Stop sexual harassment!

I have seen enough groping/skirt lifting on crowded buses/trains, outside night clubs, etc. of scantly clad women to say that, yes, when there is no security around and an aroused guy feels he can get away with it he will act… It’s just human nature.

That’s what D. Jalbert told me.

Yet groping is not about short skirts or low-cut blouses.  Read the rest of this entry

Signs of an Abuser

abusive man 5One of my students recently wrote about her relationship with an abusive man. Amber’s ex-husband, “Dan,” fits many of the signs of an abuser.

An abusive man often takes his victim on a whirlwind ride of a relationship. He’s in a rush to make her fall in love so that he can begin the abuse sooner rather than later. And, she gets so attached that it is hard to leave.  Read the rest of this entry

Why Degrade Women? It’s Insecurity

frat rape culture 3I’ve written a lot about frat boys degrading women. A quick sampler:

  • Dartmouth frat names and demeans women the brothers had sex with
  • Duke’s Alpha Delta Phi and Sigma Nu issue Halloween invitation to sorority “sluts, bitches, witches” — sprinkling the overture with supplementary disparagements
  • Yale’s Delta Kappa Epsilon chanted, “No means yes! Yes means anal!” around the women’s dorms
  • San Diego State frat boys screamed obscenities, threw eggs, and waved dildos at “Take Back the Night” marchers

Smells like insecurity Read the rest of this entry

Charming & Cruel, A Classic Abuse Story

Abusive relationships

Abusive relationships

By Amber W.

I started casually dating just to get my feet wet after the divorce.

I met a couple of nice men, but no spark. Then I met “Dan.”

Dan was charming, funny and good-looking. We could talk for hours. And, he was a successful and celebrated Silicon Valley engineer.  Read the rest of this entry

Demeaning Women? It’s Tradition 

Fighting fraternity rape culture.

Fighting fraternity rape culture.

Why are frat boys — the ones who belong to dangerous fraternities, anyway — so intent on degrading and intimidating women?

I suspect the behavior comes partly from inheriting a culture that benefits the “haves” over the “have-nots.” And partly, insecurity at the cusp of manhood.  Read the rest of this entry

Fraternity Female Degradation Ceremonies

End the violence against women!

End the violence against women!

In college I grew to hate frat boys. They didn’t always deserve it, but too many did.

At San Diego State “The Daily Aztec” reported on a fraternity accused of shouting racial epithets at strippers. Read the rest of this entry

If She Was Drunk, Did She Rape Herself?

drinkingIt’s almost universal that gang rape victims are intoxicated, and for some reason when alcohol gets involved, a drunk woman did it to herself.

Read the rest of this entry

%d bloggers like this: