Why Do Women Prioritize Men’s Pleasure?
A lot of women prioritize men’s pleasure over their own.
Instead of focusing on her own pleasure a woman may worry about whether she’s attractive enough. Or she may agree to do things she doesn’t like. Or she may give him a blowjob in his dorm room, or the backseat of his car, without expecting anything in return.
But why is that?
It’s probably tied to the double standard, which says:
- She must be physically arousing for him (but he needn’t be for her)
- Men have a huge, untamable sex drive. Women do not.
- Men’s desire is natural. Women’s is scary… or shameful
And some scientists claim the double standard is grounded in biology. Men seek many partners because, with all that sperm, they will produce more babies if they widely “spread their seed.” But women can only bear a few children, so they must be picky, choosing men with the most resources and the best genes.
The theory has a few problems that I’ve discussed before. But the claims of “science” help convince us that a man’s sex drive is strong and urgent, while a woman’s is not.
So it’s no surprise that we’re more open to men’s pleasure.
No wonder vibrators have been banned in several states or that porn is typically targeted to men. Even “at the movies” men’s pleasure is R-rated while women’s is X-rated. Or at least NC-17. Here’s what actor, Ryan Gosling said about Blue Valentine’s bid to get an R-rating for “a woman’s sexual presentation of self.”
You have to question a cinematic culture which preaches artistic expression, and yet would support a decision that is clearly a product of a patriarchy-dominant society, which tries to control how women are depicted on screen.
The MPAA is OK supporting scenes that portray women in scenarios of sexual torture and violence for entertainment purposes, but they are trying to force us to look away from a scene that shows a woman in a sexual scenario which is both complicit and complex. It’s misogynistic in nature to try and control a woman’s sexual presentation of self.
Which can leave a woman more concerned with her man’s pleasure than her own.
Posted on March 13, 2017, in objectification, sex and sexuality and tagged sex-negative, sexual objectification, sexual repression, slut shaming, women pleasing men. Bookmark the permalink. 60 Comments.