I generally find comment policies annoying, but since I’ve been asked about them, here’s mine, annoying or not.

Comment on the post you were reading, not here. (Unless you want to comment on the policy.)

Comments I don’t post:

  1. Rude, mean, snarky, nonsense, trolls. Hurtful, whether intended or not.
  2. Having little or nothing to do with the post.
  3. Too long or repetitive.
  4. Otherwise, I rarely approve comments the second they come in. Approval may take 24 hours+ if it’s the weekend or I’m on vacation or very busy.
  1. I can’t stop commenting
    I’m so sorry! Haha. But I feel like I struck gold finding your blog. I won’t comment much more but I can’t help it! Love it. Thank you

  2. In case I have not mentioned it before, terrific blog.

  3. I just wanted to tell you I really like your blog.🙂

    Although the stories upset me greatly, I find great hope in your writing. It’s rare to see such insightful (at the same time heartfelt) thoughts being expressed.

    Please keep up the wonderful work!

    • Thanks so much. But I do try to make the blog fun some of the time, too, by writing on things like sexuality and gendered hairstyles, for instance.

      • Yes, those are quite fun to read !

        Just out of concern, how many hateful/inflammatory responses do you receive for your work? How many people genuinely empathize with your cause?

        What is your source of inspiration and hope in running this blog ?🙂

      • Since it’s a feminist blog I’ve been surprised at how little hate I get. I thought I’d get a lot more and on a regular basis. And it’s rarely personal. I’ve been doing my blog for about five years and I can only think of a handful of comments that were hateful toward me personally — weird, I know. Maybe people don’t waste their time writing stuff that won’t get published? Sometimes men will complain about women, generally (as opposed to me personally), and I usually won’t post that either unless it is relevant to “Men who hate pretty women” — because some people don’t believe that men actually feel that way — so I post the comments and then thank the guys for doing their part to make my point. I do make a few exceptions on other posts when men say something that is widely believed and I would like to address it.

        My view is that I cannot change people’s minds. I can only offer a perspective that will allow people to see things from a different perspective and allow them to consider changing their minds. And I hope to help women and men understand each other better.

        So I end up posting just about everything I get. You can take a look at the comments and judge for yourself the level of empathy. I would say they’re generally empathetic.

        There are some people who write in and disagree with me at first, But many come to see things from a new perspective overtime. Others just give up and quit commenting. And a few register their disagreement from time to time. You can take a look at the comments and see this for yourself.

        You’ll notice that I don’t write only on political issues. I also write a lot on sex and relationships — usually from a feminist perspective. But when you have a blog title like “should women give men the porn star experience?” You get an audience beyond feminists — which is important to me because I don’t want to just preach to the choir. Although I do also want to preach to the choir because a lot of feminists aren’t sure how to articulate their perspective, And I do want to help spread the word.

  4. It’s quite surprising and nice to hear that a lot of people are appreciating your work… (I always thought you spent lots of time clearing out troll comments, hehe!)

    It’s a great achievement if you can get us thinking about their own attitudes, forget making a radical change. It’s very heartwarming.
    Please continue your good work.🙂

    • Thank you!

      With the number of reasons I give for not posting comments, I guess it seems like I must spend a lot of time with trolls. But there’s just a lot of reasons why I won’t post a comment. And I do believe I’ve thought of all of them.

  5. Its a Very Good Post on Comment, Commentary and Commenting Structure.
    Hats Off!!
    I Follow You !!!

  6. Here is a link to a sad, sad, sad Twitter account that also happens to be a wry look on gender:^tfw

    • Sadly, indeed. I’ve been reading “the Chalice and the Blade,” Which talks about dominance versus partnership societies. People who promote dominance don’t seem to be very happy, And I don’t know how they could be. There is a whole world of partnership and happiness that is available, But they would rather be worked up all the time, apparently.

  7. I have been reading “Casual Sex Distresses Women?” and the first thing that stood out to me was the fact that “Women today are sexually liberated? With so much punishment it is no wonder that sexually active young women get more depressed.” That was interesting to me because I think that is true. I feel like young women nowadays get caught in their emotions really quickly. It is so much easier for guys to talk about their emotions than girls are. Also guys do not quickly get emotionally attached like girls do. It’s sad how parents find it “okay” to talk to their sons about sexual activeties but not to their daughters. Today in our society we think it’s not okay for a young woman to give up her virginity but it’s okay for a man to have sex at a young age. If a young woman has sex with more than one man she gets called names but if a young man is having sex with more than one woman, he gets praised.

  8. Ok, so my boyfriend and I had a 3some with his baby mama with whom he has had an on again off again type of relationship over the last 10 yrs. (he and I only a couple months) Both baby mama (Fawn) and I (Renee) have known that he has been with each of us, sexually but never altogether till recently. When its 1 on 1 he has no problem getting or keeping an erection and tonight he was quite frustrated at not becoming aroused at all. What are your thoughts????

    • There are different possibilities and I may not be able to think of all of them. He could’ve been distracted with wondering how the two of you were feeling. Or, he could have been feeling performance anxiety with both of you there. Otherwise, I don’t know.

      By the way, I just amended this page to try to clarify that people should comment on the post they were reading, because people do sometimes comments over here instead of over there. (For future reference.)

  9. Emotional Affairs is horrible. My husband of 2 years has had 65 ladies now he has came on to, flirted with, ask to join us in churches, dinners . At two weeks newly web he came in one day and said, I found the lady of my dreams. He went to her business 3 times or more a week, never taking me. I wasn’t allowed. he said, She was all for him. Her husband and her was in shock over him staring and lusting in public staring at her breast, butt and face. His favorite hair color is BLONDE, He can’t stop lusting after a blonde.
    He tells me to get lost when he goes in public and finds the lady of his dreams. The last year was the hardest. We moved back to our hometown to be with my granddaughters and greats, he came on to a realtor at the door, she bend over with her butt in his face over and over to get a sale. Then she and him took off seeing houses and told me to stay put. He wouldnt keep his hands off of her, commenting about her butt being the BEST. I ask her boss to not include her at closing or I want close the deal. He want stop lusting, going after 16 to 18 yr old too. He has been ask to leave two churches he only wanted to go after ladies. I was going to divorce him and still am. Each time i will change, I Sorry 65 times to me have got old. each time he beg me to stay. It is all about MONEY. He has money and I don’t. He took all of my to move to MO to be with his family and they wouldnt speak to him, and we lost money on the house we bought back here again.
    He has thrown up to me, everything in my name. Well that wasn’t true I found out. He makes me SICK to look at knowing he will go out to a doctors office and stare at workers butts, clients, a lady in the grocery store he goes and looks her over for see how her breast is and butt.
    I am 63 and thought I would be happy in my late years, it has been misery with him. To throw me out in a store while he is lusting after a lady is horrible. I don’t remember when i haven’t miss crying. He has the worst personality the therists that he could have. He is always RIGHT. He does no wrong, everyone is wrong but HIM.

    Please for any lady that is living with a man that has Emotional Affairs they do turn into real affairs, his 8 months affair in MO started off staring. You don’t have to put up with it.

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