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Men Seeking Women For Self-esteem

By “Bob”

It’s sad that some women may rely on men for their self-esteem due to harmful messages about being an inferior gender. 

But I think it goes both ways. I think just as many men seek women for self-esteem, though for different reasons. 

I started thinking about this after reading these words from Maria Infante on your blog:

Read the rest of this entry

Trumpism, Manhood and Feeling Powerful vs Being Powerful

U.S. Capitol Building

As we look to the inauguration of the 46th US president, who will preside over our constitutional democratic republic, my mind travels back to January 6 when thousands of angry Trump supporters attempted to violently overthrow a free and fair election.

The rioters surely felt powerful as they stormed the U.S. Capitol, climbed its stairs and walls, bashed its windows with pro-Trump flag poles, trashed Statuary Hall and Congressional offices, and sat at the Senate Dias and in the Speaker’s seat.

But in the end they weren’t so powerful after all, their acts sparking an enormous backlash.

Continue reading at The Good Men Project.

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Being A Man Doesn’t Mean Looking Down On Women 

Real men respect women.

By Luis Castro 

Middle school boys can be fierce. Not all of them, but most of them are.

That’s when they start getting exposed to the dirty side of life, like gangsta rap and porn, or just bad influences which teach boys to disrespect girls. So they come to think that they are better than girls just because they are masculine.

I know from experience. Read the rest of this entry

How Sex Is Used To Create Patriarchy

By Brittany Beall 

Sex is used to create male dominance (patriarchy) in a number of ways. Just take a quick look at these:

The double standard

In the double standard when a man has sex with many women that’s fine. Even celebrated. He is seen as a “the ladies man” or labeled “cool.”

But if a woman does the same thing she is labeled as a “slut” and men will find that unattractive.

Men are free, women are not. Men are celebrated, Women are humiliated. Read the rest of this entry

Men Not Feeling Much Like Supermen

As Captain Marvel, Okoye, Wonder Woman and Black Widow have emerged, one by one, onto the silver screen I’ve found myself feeling surprisingly empowered as a woman. No wonder men have so much self-confidence, with all the male superheroes out there.

Or not. 

A friend of mine, “Bob,” sees things differently: “The downside to the abundance is that men feel like they have to live up to that.” And, apparently, fear that they don’t.

After Bob turned up this more tarnished side of the coin I started noticing a number of songs that seem to reflect the drawback to superherodom. Like Coldplay’s “Something Just Like This.”

Achilles and his gold, Hercules’s gifts

Spiderman’s control, and Batman with his fists

And clearly I don’t see myself upon that list Read the rest of this entry

Sexy Women Make Men Feel Bad About Themselves

Brooklyn Decker

By “Bob”

Sexy models like Brooklyn Decker can make women to feel bad about themselves when women feel like they don’t measure up.

But men can feel bad about themselves when they look at Brooklyn, too. Read the rest of this entry

Women Looking at David Beckham Showing Skin

David Beckham

Since women were so uncomfortable with the male stripper image I discussed last time I thought I’d try a more masculine image with a bit more clothing.

David Beckham is a conventionally attractive man who looks masculine and is known for his prowess in football (soccer to us Americans). And this type of photo (men’s underwear ads) occurs more often than others I’d shown my classes. Does that make a difference? Read the rest of this entry

Women Looking at Magic Mike Stripper

Magic Mike Strippers

Magic Mike Strippers

How do women feel about pictures of men showing a lot of skin?

A few years back I surveyed students on a picture of Sly Stallone. You can see my writeup here. In brief: There was a mix of appreciation and discomfort.

He’s attractive and sexy. “He’s sexy, but” (He’s not my type… I don’t want to have sex with him…) He’s not attractive … it’s weird.

Some suggested I update the survey to include current stars like Channing Tatum, once named People’s sexiest man alive. So I asked 133 of my women students to write whatever thoughts came to them when looking at the picture below:  Read the rest of this entry

Porn and Male Psychology

Pornography tells lies about women, but tells the truth about men.

That’s a quote from John Stoltenberg.

But it’s only partially true says Jackson Katz, a leader in the gender equality movement. Read the rest of this entry

Why Aren’t Male Strippers Sexy?

Channing Tatum in “Magic Mike”

Women go to strip clubs for “fun” and female bonding, not to get aroused.

Or maybe they want to prove that they can objectify men just as much as men objectify them.

Sure, some women find male strippers sexy, but as Tracy Clark-Flory over at Salon acknowledges:

The typical atmosphere in such an establishment isn’t one of arousal and longing, the kind that reliably fills the air in a female strip club. As far as I can tell, female patrons are typically cracking up, shielding their eyes in mock horror or cartoonishly objectifying male dancers as a performance for their friends.

Read the rest of this entry