Blog Archives

Men Fearing Women’s Sexuality

Fearing women's sexuality.

Fearing women’s sexuality.

By Jonathan Jefferson

Back in high school I was surprised at the amount of hatred that could be directed toward women in common, everyday conversation.

Guys talked about ex-girlfriends or girls they’d slept with in such a negative light.

If a girl had been with another boy — at all — anyone who slept with her later could do no better than “sloppy seconds.”  Read the rest of this entry

Men Needn’t Hate Pretty Women

angry-manThere must be a lot of men who hate pretty women because Google constantly brings them — or people who want to understand them – to me via this post: “Men Who Hate Pretty Women.”

They come, and they say things like this:

Beauty makes me extremely angry, so much that I can’t stand to look at beautiful women in the street … She’d want somebody taller, richer, more muscular, more handsome, more whatever it is that women want.

Read the rest of this entry

What Men Think Women Want From Romance

romance-3By 

They walk hand in hand. Their eyes meet briefly. Wistful smiles touch their lips. They sigh as one. When the couple reaches the park bench they sit and talk a moment. He grins. She giggles. Then he goes down on one knee, an unmistakable little box in one hand. With hope in his eyes, he pops the question and opens the box, extending it forward, waiting, holding his breath with his heart racing for her single word reply. Read the rest of this entry

My Son Wants to Be Snow White for Halloween

Defying gender norms for Halloween

Defying gender norms for Halloween

One day early last fall, I returned from work and discovered my son in a dress. And not just any dress. A Snow White dress. I can’t say it was a complete shock. Luke had been telling my wife and me for more than a week that he wanted to be Snow White for Halloween. Whenever Melanie or I gently suggested an alternate costume, he would calmly respond, “No, I think I have to be Snow White. I dropped my bag and made what I hoped was a suitable fuss over the costume. My face still taut with manufactured glee.

Read the rest of this entry

Relative Deprivation and Trump Appeal

Donald Trump

Donald Trump

Most people would choose a 3000 sq-ft. house over a 4000 sq-ft. home — if that’s the only way that their house could be bigger than everyone else’s.

That may help to explain Donald Trump’s appeal.

The white working-class (Tump’s biggest supporters) have plummeted in relative status over the last 40 years.

Their wages have languished or fallen even as minorities have gained ground — threatening white privilege and dominance, points out Thomas Edsall at the New York Times. Plus, the buying power of the top 10% has kept many goods and services beyond their reach, he adds. Read the rest of this entry

Trump: It’s Only Words

Trump at the second debate.

Trump at the second debate.

Trump insults women and others but his actions are to the contrary. He hires women on an equal basis, like his daughter Ivanka and his campaign manager Kellyanne Conway. He’s more bark than bite.

That’s from one of my readers.   Read the rest of this entry

Tough Guys and Tough Guises

Tough guise

Tough guise

Boys and men can spend a lot of time putting on a tough guise, hoping to pass for tough guys.

Maybe you’ve seen Jackson Katz’s film, Tough Guise, which explores the problem.

The film opens with Dorothy pulling back the curtain of the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz — who turns out to be a nervous and tragic man.  Read the rest of this entry

Women, Objects of Desire (Even for Women?)

Women bombarded by Victoria's Secret models

Women bombarded by Victoria’s Secret models

Sexy lady’s bodies have been the focus of pop culture for decades.

Maybe that’s why even straight women were more aroused by a nude woman than by a nude man in one study, when measuring blood flow to the vagina. Some research suggests culture may be playing a role.

Is this true? A student of mine wondered.  Read the rest of this entry

Men Enjoy Themselves When Women Do

Sasha Grey

Sasha Grey

A lot of women think that their partners’ enjoyment is more important than their own.

It’s likely unconscious. But you see it every time a young woman gets distracted, focusing on how she looks, or what he wants, and how he feels…

… while completely ignoring how SHE feels.

But men actually enjoy themselves more when their partners are enjoying themselves.  Read the rest of this entry

Men’s Pleasure Is More Important?

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Many young women are now engaging in sex acts with men that prioritize the man’s pleasure, with little or no expectation of reciprocity.

So says cultural theorist Jackson Katz.

Sounds about right.

These young women are focused on how they look and what they do — and how their guys feel about how they look and what they do. Read the rest of this entry

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