Blog Archives

Trump: It’s Only Words

Trump at the second debate.

Trump at the second debate.

Trump insults women and others but his actions are to the contrary. He hires women on an equal basis, like his daughter Ivanka and his campaign manager Kellyanne Conway. He’s more bark than bite.

That’s from one of my readers.   Read the rest of this entry

Tough Guys and Tough Guises

Tough guise

Tough guise

Boys and men can spend a lot of time putting on a tough guise, hoping to pass for tough guys.

Maybe you’ve seen Jackson Katz’s film, Tough Guise, which explores the problem.

The film opens with Dorothy pulling back the curtain of the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz — who turns out to be a nervous and tragic man.  Read the rest of this entry

Women, Objects of Desire (Even for Women?)

Women bombarded by Victoria's Secret models

Women bombarded by Victoria’s Secret models

Sexy lady’s bodies have been the focus of pop culture for decades.

Maybe that’s why even straight women were more aroused by a nude woman than by a nude man in one study, when measuring blood flow to the vagina. Some research suggests culture may be playing a role.

Is this true? A student of mine wondered.  Read the rest of this entry

Men Enjoy Themselves When Women Do

Sasha Grey

Sasha Grey

A lot of women think that their partners’ enjoyment is more important than their own.

It’s likely unconscious. But you see it every time a young woman gets distracted, focusing on how she looks, or what he wants, and how he feels…

… while completely ignoring how SHE feels.

But men actually enjoy themselves more when their partners are enjoying themselves.  Read the rest of this entry

Men’s Pleasure Is More Important?

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Many young women are now engaging in sex acts with men that prioritize the man’s pleasure, with little or no expectation of reciprocity.

So says cultural theorist Jackson Katz.

Sounds about right.

These young women are focused on how they look and what they do — and how their guys feel about how they look and what they do. Read the rest of this entry

Bathroom Graffiti: Women vs Men


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Beliefs That Disconnect Us From Our Hearts

Heart-connected lovers

Heart-connected lovers


Nothing limits our ability to love and be loved, and to find joy and fulfillment more than the beliefs that disconnect us from our hearts. And, nowhere do these beliefs cause more limitations than in our sex lives. Read the rest of this entry

Men, Bitches and Bimbos 

Girl talks to guy at barIn high school I had the kind of thinking like she’s either a “bitch” or a “bimbo.”

My friends and I would go to a bar and get some drinks and maybe a buddy would “drink up” the courage to talk to a girl. If she rejected him we automatically labeled her a bitch. But if she stayed and conversed for a while, and if she started dancing with him, we labeled her a slut.

I honestly did not realize how horrible my thinking was until we started talking about these issues in class.

Read the rest of this entry

Cindy Crawford Brings Men Pleasure; Women Pain

Cindy Crawford on Playboy cover

Cindy Crawford on Playboy cover

Women have mixed feelings about nearly-naked Cindy Crawford.

There is appreciation: “Attractive… sexy… love her!”

But also animosity (“F-ING ANNOYING” anyone?). And she makes a lot of women — nearly half — feel bad about their bodies.

Straight men, on the other hand, felt (no surprise) mostly pleasure.

But not all of them. Read the rest of this entry

Men Wanting Magnetic Power Over Women

"The opposite sex has enormous power over you."

“The opposite sex has enormous power over you.”

If you’re straight, at some point you realize that,

The opposite sex has enormous power over you. They can break your heart, control your actions, completely dominate your thoughts, and (let’s be honest) basically turn off your brain.

So says Noah Brand.

He makes me think of guys who have complained on my blog that women don’t find men attractive. And they yearn to weld the same magnetic power over women that women have over them. Read the rest of this entry

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