Blog Archives

Porn Fantasy Mistaken for Reality

Porn fantasy versus reality.

Porn fantasy versus reality.

By Demon Ted

Does porn raise men’s expectations of how women should perform in bed? I believe it depends entirely on the man’s ability to distinguish between real life and fantasy.

True, you could try to recreate porn in real life. But then it’s not real. It’s acting. So you’re back to fantasy.

I think porn is great to enjoy. But men must realize what it is.

Unfortunately, a lot of men (and some women in regards to things like Twilight) get fantasy and reality mixed up. And that can harm relationships.

Take my girlfriend’s ex. He’s a nasty piece of work. Barely finished high school, can’t drive, no job. Literally sits at home all day. But because my girlfriend was young when she met him, he became a lot of “firsts.” And he made her think that things that weren’t healthy were. Read the rest of this entry

Don’t Buy Cow If Milk Is Free

cow-milk-for-freeA male reader, I’ll call him Jed, wrote in with this warning:

There is a price to be paid when women have casual sex. It might be unfair. It might not be unfair. But there it is, be it biology, socialization, patriarchy…whatever… If women give sex away for free, men won’t marry them.

Put more grossly:

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Read the rest of this entry

Sources of Power in Relationships

scales-of-justiceThere are many sources of power in relationships, but a few stand out:

1. Higher education, income, and occupational status, especially in marriage relationships when men make more money. Both partners tend to feel that a man should have more say since he contributes greater resources to the family.

When wives are economically dependent and fear they can’t support themselves, husbands can become especially powerful. Some abusive men purposely get their wives pregnant (by destroying their birth control) to increase their wives’ dependency – and their control over their partners.

Women are less likely to become more powerful than their husbands when they make more money because most don’t like feeling like they are emasculating their partners. Read the rest of this entry

Guys Just Wanna Have Relationships?

Hand holding“All men cheat.” “He can’t keep it in his pants.” “Men only talk about beer, sex and sports.”

That’s Lisa Hickey over at The Good Men Project reciting stereotypes about the supposed sex-craved male. But stereotypes aren’t reality, she says. And she’s got backup from Wake Forest psychology professor, Andrew P. Smiler who recently wrote a book called, “Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male.”

Smiler says it’s no wonder we think men are all about casual sex. Stereotypes abound and play out in pop culture. Walking through TV history we’ve got: Read the rest of this entry

Why Do Flashers Flash?

flasherWhy do flashers flash?

I’ve always wanted to know. Their discussion boards might clue us in. If you check them out you might see comments like this: Read the rest of this entry

Men Fearing Women’s Sexuality

Fearing women's sexuality.

Fearing women’s sexuality.

By Jonathan Jefferson

Back in high school I was surprised at the amount of hatred that could be directed toward women in common, everyday conversation.

Guys talked about ex-girlfriends or girls they’d slept with in such a negative light.

If a girl had been with another boy — at all — anyone who slept with her later could do no better than “sloppy seconds.”  Read the rest of this entry

Men Needn’t Hate Pretty Women

angry-manThere must be a lot of men who hate pretty women because Google constantly brings them — or people who want to understand them – to me via this post: “Men Who Hate Pretty Women.”

They come, and they say things like this:

Beauty makes me extremely angry, so much that I can’t stand to look at beautiful women in the street … She’d want somebody taller, richer, more muscular, more handsome, more whatever it is that women want.

Read the rest of this entry

What Men Think Women Want From Romance

romance-3By 

They walk hand in hand. Their eyes meet briefly. Wistful smiles touch their lips. They sigh as one. When the couple reaches the park bench they sit and talk a moment. He grins. She giggles. Then he goes down on one knee, an unmistakable little box in one hand. With hope in his eyes, he pops the question and opens the box, extending it forward, waiting, holding his breath with his heart racing for her single word reply. Read the rest of this entry

My Son Wants to Be Snow White for Halloween

Defying gender norms for Halloween

Defying gender norms for Halloween

One day early last fall, I returned from work and discovered my son in a dress. And not just any dress. A Snow White dress. I can’t say it was a complete shock. Luke had been telling my wife and me for more than a week that he wanted to be Snow White for Halloween. Whenever Melanie or I gently suggested an alternate costume, he would calmly respond, “No, I think I have to be Snow White. I dropped my bag and made what I hoped was a suitable fuss over the costume. My face still taut with manufactured glee.

Read the rest of this entry

Relative Deprivation and Trump Appeal

Donald Trump

Donald Trump

Most people would choose a 3000 sq-ft. house over a 4000 sq-ft. home — if that’s the only way that their house could be bigger than everyone else’s.

That may help to explain Donald Trump’s appeal.

The white working-class (Tump’s biggest supporters) have plummeted in relative status over the last 40 years.

Their wages have languished or fallen even as minorities have gained ground — threatening white privilege and dominance, points out Thomas Edsall at the New York Times. Plus, the buying power of the top 10% has kept many goods and services beyond their reach, he adds. Read the rest of this entry

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