Why Do I Care About The Breast Fetish?
I’ve written a series of posts criticizing the breast fetish, not because I’m trying to shame men but because I am concerned with:
- Women’s self-esteem.
- Women’s ability to enjoy sexuality. (And if women enjoy it more so do men.)
- Getting rid of double standards
But I’m not interested in shaming men about the fetish. So what is my point? How would I like to see things change? Read the rest of this entry
My History Of Sex: Sacred… Scary… Fun
I saw sex as sacred when I was growing up.
That was how most people talked about it at home and at church and even sex ed in middle school.
So when I was just in my early teens I thought of sex as being more about the love and relationship you have with your partner, and sex was secondary. Read the rest of this entry
The Breast Fetish Distracts From Sex
The breast fetish makes sex super-hot, right?
It can actually hurt both men’s and women’s sexual experience.
Sounds counterintuitive. But consider this: Read the rest of this entry
Am I Trying To Shame Men’s Breast Fetish?
My blog post, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” prompts a lot of men to write in and say “It ain’t so!”
So I ask what difference it makes whether it’s nature or nurture?
Few respond. But “Sam” did. To paraphrase:
A lot of women think that guys who get excited about breasts are immature, infantile or perverts. So men get defensive if someone suggests their attraction is socialized. If we can say ‘it is hardwired’ we can immediately dismiss those views and classify ourselves as neither perverts nor as overgrown babies… Incidentally, I can say it certainly feels completely and utterly hardwired.
Porn and My Sex Education
When I first had sex with my boyfriend I was scared.
I wasn’t worried about how to do sex. But I was afraid of this thing that was going to come inside me.
I remember thinking it looked like a snake and I had visions of it biting me or something. Long story short, I was scared of the sex act. Read the rest of this entry
Demanding The Porn Star Experience Can Totally Backfire
Some guys pressure their partners for the porn star experience.
Sure, some women are into PSE. But if you are pressuring her, it can totally backfire. Read the rest of this entry
When Hookup Culture Was Just a Toddler
American Hookup by Occidental sociology professor Lisa Wade explains a lot. Like hookup culture’s early beginnings.
I’ll hit a few highlights. For more check out her book or an excerpt in Time. Read the rest of this entry
Wanna Know What Guys Want?
Checking out porn to see what guys want?
Women sometimes do this. But it could backfire.
A young man commenting on my blog worried that his girlfriend (his first sexual partner) had done just that:
It seems she’s done research in pornography, and for the past couple of months she does things she thinks girls do all the time during sex.
But he didn’t like it. To paraphrase: Read the rest of this entry
School Scandal Targets “Her” Not “Him”
The sexual revolution has arrived. Women and men, alike, are free to enjoy sex, right?
Not if the school scandal that roared during my junior year is any measure.
“Janet” was popular, and a talented player on our school’s field hockey team.
Until word got around that she had filmed a sex tape with a guy from our school. Read the rest of this entry
Men: Forget Your Own Orgasm
Therapist Scott Williams advises men: Forget your own orgasm and you’ll get amazing sex.
Why would that be?
Scott asked couples in one of his relationship courses if they had an orgasm every time they had sex.
All of the men had. But none of the women did.
So he asked the men,
When is the last time you took care of your wife’s needs and didn’t worry about whether or not you were satisfied?