I recently talked about “spectatoring” — watching yourself have sex instead of enjoying pleasure.
After surveying my women students I learned that three-quarters spent at least some of their time in bed distracted by how they looked. Most worried that they weren’t “hot” enough. And most also said that their concerns harmed their sexual experience to some degree.
But some women did think they were attractive. In fact, when I surveyed students about the last time they had sex, one young woman replied, “I think I looked pretty good.” Read the rest of this entry
I recently debated two of my readers, Bob and Fred, about whether women like being dominated in consensual sex.
After searching my files I found a sample of my students, 83 women and 63 men who are not gay/lesbian (because I wanted a sample of people who have sex cross-sexually). I had wondered what my male students believed about women and what women felt, themselves: Read the rest of this entry
Education Secretary Betsy DeVoss wants to weaken Title IX protections from sexual harassment and violence in schools.
Why should men join in the fight to block her proposed changes? Men, like readers of this blog, seek justice and equality.
And, as it turns out, Title IX protections help men too!
Read more at The Good Men Project.
Why is Education Secretary Betsy DeVoss fighting against the interests of other women by weakening Title IX protections from sexual harassment and violence in schools, narrowing the standards used to determine what counts as a crime and making it more difficult for victims to come forward?
Some women accept the “patriarchal bargain” which bestows power and privilege in return for betraying their sisters. Others have unconsciously internalized patriarchy so that it simply seems natural and normal. Still others seek to advance domination culture because it richly rewards themselves, and patriarchy’s strong arm helps uphold that system. Read the rest of this entry
Why do so many men insist that masculinity is the same thing as toxic masculinity — the violent, aggressive variant that leads to horrors like rape or beatings or terrorism (domestic and foreign)? I wondered about this while talking with some non-feminist acquaintances — I try to reach beyond my feminist choir on a regular basis.
We had gotten onto the subject of the tweetstorm created by Danielle Muscato’s question, “What would you do if all men had a 9 pm curfew?”
The men I spoke with were infuriated, taking the proposal literally and not as a thought experiment. “That would be a human rights violation,” said one. “Women would have nothing to do since most businesses would close at 9 PM,” said another.
Read more@ Good Men Project.
By Kyle Welsh
Virginity, or the lack thereof, plays a big role in how we treat women.
From religious practices to traditional lifestyles, high value is placed on women who have never had sex.
In The Cult of Virginity Jessica Valenti talks about the “virginity mystery” – that is, the realization that there is no medical or social definition for what a virgin actually is. Read the rest of this entry
Contradiction abounds among too many Republican leaders of the male persuasion.
These men are anti-abortion yet fight against contraception — the most effective means of preventing one.
Or they are anti-abortion until they want their partners to get one.
Or they engage in sexual assault even while acting to prevent women and girls from accessing abortion should they be impregnated by such a horrifying act.
It all sounds contradictory. But patriarchy ties it all altogether. Read the rest of this entry