The Breast Fetish Distracts From Sex 

The breast fetish makes sex super-hot, right?

Maybe not.

It can actually hurt both men’s and women’s sexual experience.

Sounds counterintuitive. But consider this: Read the rest of this entry

Trump Voters (Unwittingly?) Mainstreaming Racism

Photo shared on Facebook that questions who’s more wrong: racists who want to kill and who have killed? Or people against racism.

I never thought any friends of mine would defend Nazis.

Now, by “friends” I’m talking about Facebook friends who I haven’t actually met in person.

I “met” these folks when they responded to posts I made during the 2016 Presidential race. They were Trump supporters and I engaged because I was trying to figure out why they liked him.

The one thing we did agree on is that our government serves the interests of the elite over ordinary citizens.

But after last weekend’s clash between racists and anti-racists in Charlottesville, Virginia my Facebook feed contained posts that said, basically:

The media’s ignoring violence done by the left.

Read the rest of this entry

Breast Fetishes and Double Standards

I wrote a post called, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” and a lot of guys wrote in to say they ARE indeed hardwired!

Some use theories from sociobiology (aka evolutionary psychology) to make their point.

For instance, some evolutionary psychologists suggest that men might be visually cued to breasts as an indicator of good health and reproductive capacity.

Yet they also say that men want to “spread their seed” widely, and will have sex with pretty much anyone.

Go figure. Read the rest of this entry

Depression: Robin Williams, Linkin Park and Me

Three years ago, almost to the day, Robin Williams killed himself. Long-term depression seems to have been a contributing factor.

Three months ago Linkin Park’s lead singer Chester Bennington killed himself. Once again, long-term depression reared its ugly head.

It’s a reminder of my own struggles with anxiety and depression. Read the rest of this entry

Why Aren’t Male Strippers Sexy?

Channing Tatum in “Magic Mike”

Women go to strip clubs for “fun” and female bonding, not to get aroused.

Or maybe they want to prove that they can objectify men just as much as men objectify them.

Sure, some women find male strippers sexy, but as Tracy Clark-Flory over at Salon acknowledges:

The typical atmosphere in such an establishment isn’t one of arousal and longing, the kind that reliably fills the air in a female strip club. As far as I can tell, female patrons are typically cracking up, shielding their eyes in mock horror or cartoonishly objectifying male dancers as a performance for their friends.

Read the rest of this entry

Objectification’s Role in a Suicide

abc_bullied3_amanda_todd_jt_121012_wg[1]More than sexual objectification was certainly involved in 15-year-old Amanda Todd’s death. But it seems to have played a role.

It all began when Amanda and a few of her middle school friends started videochatting with strangers just for fun. Some told her she was “stunning, beautiful, perfect,” a complement any 13-year-old would enjoy. Eventually, a man asked her to flash. And she did. Read the rest of this entry

Am I Trying To Shame Men’s Breast Fetish?

My blog post, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” prompts a lot of men to write in and say “It ain’t so!”

So I ask what difference it makes whether it’s nature or nurture?

Few respond. But “Sam” did. To paraphrase:

A lot of women think that guys who get excited about breasts are immature, infantile or perverts. So men get defensive if someone suggests their attraction is socialized. If we can say ‘it is hardwired’ we can immediately dismiss those views and classify ourselves as neither perverts nor as overgrown babies… Incidentally, I can say it certainly feels completely and utterly hardwired.

Read the rest of this entry

Women-Parts As Urinals

Sociological Images has quite a collection of women-parts as urinals, and sometimes sinks.

Looks like equal parts sex and denigration of women.

From Stephanie Medley-Rath: urinals shaped like women’s mouths (source)

Read the rest of this entry

What To Do When You Get Distracted From Sex 

When men have sex it seems that all of their thoughts shut off — except for sex.

So says Dr. Louann Brizendine in The Male Brain. (Guys: feel free to chime in to confirm or disconfirm.)

But women often get distracted.  Read the rest of this entry

I Liked My Body – Until I Was Told “Respect Yourself” 

By Vanessa Velaquez 

In the middle of writing an essay during my third week of high school I got called out of class.

I couldn’t imagine why, but my teacher’s tone meant I was in trouble. I was so scared. Since I had been writing an in-class essay I worried that she might accuse me of plagiarism.

Instead, she lectured me on self-respect.

Turns out, I had worn a shirt that was too low cut for her taste as I leaned over my desk to write. Read the rest of this entry

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