Want To Be Objectified? Careful What You Wish For
I know women find fit men sexy, but I believe that is the wrong word in a way. If a woman can’t cum from just looking at the male body, then I don’t see that as sexy. Sexy to me means you’re deserving of someone’s desire or orgasm. Most guys are oblivious to the fact that most girls don’t get that aroused from looking at their abs, muscles and penis.
Be careful what you wish for.
You exist for someone else’s pleasure — And that’s all!
If you are sexually objectified you are seen as 1) being all about sex and nothing else and 2) existing for someone else’s pleasure, not your own.
So objectification can lead to poor treatment and low self-esteem.
If you are seen as existing for someone else’s sexual pleasure, but not your own, you will be lucky to get any pleasure at all. Because how you feel doesn’t really matter.
If you want a relationship and not just sex — as most women and men seem to want — but end up feeling like you have just been used for someone’s pleasure and then discarded, you may be left feeling used, empty and drained.
Not meeting sex object standards
Or, what if your worth is confined to how sexually appealing you seem, and you are facing impossible beauty ideals.
Guys who wish they were objectified seem to think that they will easily meet the beauty criteria.
Like when Dustin Hoffman cross-dressed to play Tootsie. He had expected to be attractive. As he told his makeup artists,
You’ve made me a woman, now make me a beautiful woman.
That’s as good as it gets!
Disheartened, he realized that if he were ever to meet Tootsie at a party, he’d probably ignore her.
Which brings me to this thought from Eric:
Sexy to me means you’re deserving of someone’s desire.
Feeling undeserving and unworthy
That’s what women face, and it leaves a lot of us feeling undeserving and unworthy.
Women can feel they are constantly being judged — and not coming out well. Most develop at least mild eating disorders, like food obsession. And nearly 80% of young women have poor body image.
Actually, as men’s bodies become more sexualized, they are increasingly developing poor body image and eating disorders, too.
Or maybe you meet the standard for a while. And then you age and don’t anymore.
Or maybe your partner is just used to you and now gets way more excited seeing a porn star or some hot young thing walking down the street.
Someone else will always be sexier. As you disappear, others will overtake her attention and draw her lust.
When I said that women often find clothed men sexier than half-naked guys (think: Don Draper) Eric commented that,
Women finding men sexier with clothing on is like men telling women to keep their clothes on all the time, even during sex.
Actually, plenty of women prefer it that way. For clothing covers a host of “imperfections.” Some always wear bras during sex because they think their breasts are too small, too asymmetrical, too droopy, or just not “well-formed.” And many probably wouldn’t mind hiding their tummies, thighs or cellulite.
Distracted from sex
Men, if you had all those body worries you’d be so distracted by how you look — whether worrying about covering imperfections or displaying yourselves in the best light — that your focus would shift to how you look, instead of how you feel. That’s a common cause of sexual dysfunction among women.
Meanwhile, your female partners might be distracted, noticing that you don’t look like perfectly chiseled porn stars.
Maybe that’s why so many women prefer having sex in the dark.
So men, you may wish to be objectified, but you may end up with much more than what you had wished for.
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Posted on May 18, 2015, in body image, feminism, men, objectification, psychology, sex and sexuality, women and tagged body image, feminism, men, objectification, psychology, sex, sexuality, women. Bookmark the permalink. 54 Comments.