Category Archives: sex and sexuality

I Slut-Shamed Before I Was Slut-Shamed

By Aili Masuda

I slut-shamed girls before I was slut-shamed, myself.

Yes, as a little girl I succumbed to the standard of humiliating other girls. Now I see that this behavior grew from my own insecurities. And because I didn’t know what it was like to be the target.

But it wasn’t long before I became the target, myself.  Read the rest of this entry

My Story of Sex-Positivity

Sex positivity

By Brittany

Editors note: I’m trying to learn why some women are more sex-positive than others. So I asked my students, if they were interested, to tell me stories of their backgrounds. 

So far I have found a few things that distinguish women who experience more sex-negativity and sexual dysfunction. They — and in my youth I would count myself among them — are more likely to: Read the rest of this entry

Keep Your Boobs, Get Better Guys

boobsIf I had I been more spiritually evolved, or more grounded at 22 when I got breast implants, I never would have gotten them. Yes I got lots of attention, sexual attention. And for awhile I enjoyed it. But as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for. It became apparent that the attention I received was not from quality people… Why did I mutilate my body to appease the tastes of SOME men? We were all duped by the media, the medical profession, our low self-esteem. I am now ready to have these D cups removed.

Read the rest of this entry

Demanding The Porn Star Experience Can Totally Backfire

porn-star-experience

Hiding from the porn star experience.

Some guys pressure their partners for the porn star experience.

Sure, some women are into PSE. But if you are pressuring her, it can totally backfire.  Read the rest of this entry

When Hookup Culture Was Just a Toddler 

19th century college men.

American Hookup by Occidental sociology professor Lisa Wade explains a lot. Like hookup culture’s early beginnings.

I’ll hit a few highlights. For more check out her book or an excerpt in Time. Read the rest of this entry

Wanna Know What Guys Want? 

What guys want. For you to enjoy yourself.

Checking out porn to see what guys want?

Women sometimes do this. But it could backfire.

A young man commenting on my blog worried that his girlfriend (his first sexual partner) had done just that:

It seems she’s done research in pornography, and for the past couple of months she does things she thinks girls do all the time during sex.

But he didn’t like it. To paraphrase: Read the rest of this entry

Bible Belt Leads Gay Porn Consumption

By Lisa Wade @ Sociological Images

According to data released by Pornhub, 5.6% of porn users in Mississippi seek out gay porn, compared to 2.8% in North Dakota.

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On average, gay porn is more heavily consumed in states where same-sex marriage is not legal than in states where it’s illegal, but every single state in the South has a gay porn use that exceeds the average in states with same-sex marriage. (Data prior to Supreme Court decision legalizing gay marriage nationwide.) Read the rest of this entry

School Scandal Targets “Her” Not “Him”

slut-shaming-candy-manBy Rebecca S. 

The sexual revolution has arrived. Women and men, alike, are free to enjoy sex, right?

Not if the school scandal that roared during my junior year is any measure.

“Janet” was popular, and a talented player on our school’s field hockey team.

Until word got around that she had filmed a sex tape with a guy from our school. Read the rest of this entry

Why Do Women Prioritize Men’s Pleasure?

Only want to please your man?

Only want to please your man?

A lot of women prioritize men’s pleasure over their own.

Instead of focusing on her own pleasure a woman may worry about whether she’s attractive enough. Or she may agree to do things she doesn’t like. Or she may give him a blowjob in his dorm room, or the backseat of his car, without expecting anything in return.

But why is that? Read the rest of this entry

Men: Forget Your Own Orgasm

lovers-in-bedTherapist Scott Williams advises men: Forget your own orgasm and you’ll get amazing sex.

Why would that be?

Scott asked couples in one of his relationship courses if they had an orgasm every time they had sex.

All of the men had. But none of the women did.

So he asked the men,

When is the last time you took care of your wife’s needs and didn’t worry about whether or not you were satisfied?

Read the rest of this entry

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