Category Archives: psychology

Repression Shutting Down Teen Girl’s Sexuality

Dilemmas of Desire by Deborah Tolman

Dilemmas of Desire by Deborah Tolman

Young women’s experience of sexuality was ignored by social scientists for years.

But about ten years ago San Francisco State professor Deborah Tolman interviewed high school girls who would be in their late 20s today.

Prof. Tolman had expected to unveil young women’s strong yearnings, but instead she found that most were hazy about their desire. It was dulled. Or even nonexistent. Read the rest of this entry

PMS: The Only Reason Women Get Angry?

Anger does not mean I'm PMSing.

Anger does not mean I’m PMSing.

By Fe Hmelar

If I’m angry I must be PMSing?

In middle school I got into a heated argument with my little brother. I was angry because he wasn’t keeping up with his end of the housework. We were yelling back-and-forth, and all of a sudden he exclaimed, “Why are you so upset, are you PMSing?” Read the rest of this entry

Welcome To My Open Marriage

Sex At Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Caclida Jetha.

Sex At Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Caclida Jetha.

A friend invited me into his open marriage.

Well, me and a bunch of our other female friends. Plus other women I don’t know.

I declined but he’s persistant. It’s a personality trait of his.

He sent a link quoting Christopher Ryan, author of “Sex at Dawn,” who said,

We assume monogamy is natural and preferable. But (controversial) evidence says “maybe not.” If monogamy isn’t necessarily natural, then we can stop shaming and discriminating against non-monogamous behavior.

Read the rest of this entry

Women in Pornography

porn-for-women[1]By Brittany Merry 

In America, pornography is almost unavoidable. What sorts of messages does it send?

To find out, I looked at the 10 “most viewed” videos on PornHub.

Two were celebrity sex tapes, and I didn’t look at those because their popularity was probably less about what they were doing than who was doing it.

All of the remaining videos were: Read the rest of this entry

She Wonders: Am I “Doing It” Right?

Puzzled womanWomen often get distracted in bed, wondering, “Am I doing it right?”

Maybe that’s why a number of my women students and blog readers have said they watch porn to figure out what guys like — not because they enjoy it, themselves — either the sex on screen or the sex moves they learn.

And they end up worrying about whether they are adventurous enough, moaning enough, loud enough, or “right.” And are they taking too long to cum?

When I told one of my friends about all this, “CJ” began telling me her story. As we sat at a kitchen table, drinking tea, she began: Read the rest of this entry

Women, Objects of Desire (Even for Women?)

Women bombarded by Victoria's Secret models

Women bombarded by Victoria’s Secret models

Sexy lady’s bodies have been the focus of pop culture for decades.

Maybe that’s why even straight women were more aroused by a nude woman than by a nude man in one study, when measuring blood flow to the vagina. Some research suggests culture may be playing a role.

Is this true? A student of mine wondered.  Read the rest of this entry

The Trouble With Fetishes

feetFetishes can be fun.

Shoes. Feet. Cabbage. (Or so I hear.)

Women’s breasts and butts…

Women’s breasts and butts are fetishized? Yep. The arousal they spark is not universal.

But here’s the problem: a fetish can actually harm our sex lives. Read the rest of this entry

A Girl Who Was Raised Like A Boy

Sondos, as a little girl.

S. as a little girl.

By S. Abu-Coush

Men are men and women are women?

We don’t learn to be. We just are?

But I didn’t learn gender the way most girls do. And even less the way most Middle Eastern girls do.

And I don’t see myself the way most girls do, either. Read the rest of this entry

A Sex Object Not Enjoying Sex

body image poorIt’s not unusual these days for a young woman to become preoccupied with how attractive she looks, habitually seeing herself through her partner’s eyes, and judging herself based on what she thinks he thinks. In other words, to self-objectify.

Instead of enjoying sex.

I’ve talked with friends about the phenomenon and a couple of them have opened up and told me their stories. Like “Sophie,” who let me relate her story in my blog. Read the rest of this entry

Men’s Pleasure Is More Important?

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Many young women are now engaging in sex acts with men that prioritize the man’s pleasure, with little or no expectation of reciprocity.

So says cultural theorist Jackson Katz.

Sounds about right.

These young women are focused on how they look and what they do — and how their guys feel about how they look and what they do. Read the rest of this entry

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