Category Archives: psychology

Straight vs Gay Slut-Shaming

In straight culture women are often shamed for having sex while men are celebrated.

But things may be reversed in gay culture. “Heather” wrote in to say:

I agree completely that straight women tend to slut-shame other straight women and that straight men congratulate other straight men for their “sexual conquests.”

But in my experience that is not the case in the LBGT+ community. I’m straight myself, but among my gay and lesbian friends things seem to be the opposite: gay men slut-shame gay men, and lesbians congratulate lesbians.

Read the rest of this entry

Girls = Boys in Math

200872411In the US boys outperform girls in math. But we’re an outlier.  As a Slate article describes it:

The only countries with a wider gap favoring boys are Colombia and Liechtenstein. Many Middle Eastern countries—notably Qatar, Jordan, and the U.A.E.—report a significant gender gap in favor of girls (though lower math scores overall). In Hong Kong, Singapore, and South Korea, the gender gap is miniscule, and the math scores are high. Shanghai registers no gender gap between boys and girls—together, they’re outperforming other teenagers across the globe.

Read the rest of this entry

Be Wonder Woman — Your Way

Wonder Woman (2017)

Why would watching warriors prepare for battle evoke tears of deep emotion?

How could a cartoon character be transformative?

I puzzled over those questions when friends and movie reviewers, alike, shared their experience of Wonder Woman.

It made no sense.

I’ve seen plenty of battles and felt mostly bored: chaotic fighting, and you know who will win anyway.

Wonder Woman is transformative?! I read her comics as a kid… no transformation.

Curious, I went to see the film.

And… as Amazon warrior women practiced their skills tears well up.

What?! Read the rest of this entry

Women Who Are Sexist Against Women 

Women and men, alike, shouted “Lock her up!” and “Trump that bitch!” at Trump’s GOP Convention last summer.

Some women wore shirts bellowing, “Trump can grab my pussy!”

People often confuse patriarchy with men. But they aren’t the same thing.

Plenty of men fight against patriarchy/sexism. And plenty of women are sexist.

Why are women sometimes sexist?  Read the rest of this entry

Leaving Westboro Baptist Church.. and Other Bubbles

No H8

When Donald Trump ran for President I lived in a liberal bubble.

Obviously, he was uninformed, self-interested, hot tempered — and just might blow up the world. And his sexist buffoonery appalled me.

I mocked him on Facebook, thinking no one else took him seriously, either.

And then some “red” friends unfriended me.

That got me out of my bubble.

I stopped chiding him and started trying to understand them.

And then something strange happened.  Read the rest of this entry

“Moana,” Men and Masculinity

Disney’s Moana

By “Bob”

Moana is out on video so I bought it for my niece and nephew. As we watched it I was surprised at the truths it told about men and masculinity. Read the rest of this entry

Stirring Up Feminazis

FeminaziWhat’s the difference between being powerful and merely feeling powerful?

Too often people chase the feeling and give up the real thing.

I sense the phenomenon when frat boys try to feel powerful by intimidating women.

Or when feminists are called “feminazis.”  Read the rest of this entry

Real Men Don’t Beat, Rape Women

By Ted Esparza

family-violence[1]Constance Johnson was a domestic violence prosecutor – and also a battered wife.

She met her husband, Ben, in college and fell in love. They got married and were very happy for three years.

But then he began criticizing her. Everything was her fault. He was always right. And she was too fat — at 110 lbs.

After they moved near her husband’s aging parents to help them – Ben’s idea — the violence began. He didn’t seem happy after the move and one morning he decided he didn’t like his breakfast.

“Make it yourself.” Constance told him.

— SLAP — Read the rest of this entry

Richer Than A King, He Put A Bullet Through His Brain

"Le Suicidé" by Edouard Manet

“Le Suicidé” by Edouard Manet

By “Bob”

These words seem to strike a nerve among men:

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

We people on the pavement looked at him 

He was a gentleman from sole to crown,

Clean favored, and imperially slim.…

And he was rich – yes, richer than a king –

And admirably schooled in every grace:

In fine, we thought that he was everything

To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,

And went without the meat, and cursed the bread

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,

Went home and put a bullet through his head. Read the rest of this entry

Women = Natural Nurturers = Less $, Status and Power

Nurturing dad.

Nurturing dad.

Girls are naturally more nurturing than boys, right?

A lot of people think so.

Some scientists think it’s because testosterone blocks male nurturing instincts.

Incidentally, this notion conveniently brings men more money, status and power.

Because if women are natural nurturers then — naturally — they should stay home with children. And keep out of arenas that bestow money, status and power.

What’s the scientific evidence? Read the rest of this entry

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