Category Archives: psychology
I wrote a post called, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” and a lot of guys wrote in to say they ARE indeed hardwired!
Some use theories from sociobiology (aka evolutionary psychology) to make their point.
For instance, some evolutionary psychologists suggest that men might be visually cued to breasts as an indicator of good health and reproductive capacity.
Yet they also say that men want to “spread their seed” widely, and will have sex with pretty much anyone.
Go figure. Read the rest of this entry
My blog post, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” prompts a lot of men to write in and say “It ain’t so!”
So I ask what difference it makes whether it’s nature or nurture?
Few respond. But “Sam” did. To paraphrase:
A lot of women think that guys who get excited about breasts are immature, infantile or perverts. So men get defensive if someone suggests their attraction is socialized. If we can say ‘it is hardwired’ we can immediately dismiss those views and classify ourselves as neither perverts nor as overgrown babies… Incidentally, I can say it certainly feels completely and utterly hardwired.
Open marriage, the sensible alternative to monogamy?
On the plus side, a couple may enjoy a close-knit family and loving spousal relationship, but with an exciting dash of sexual variety.
Sex columnist, Dan Savage, is all for it. But he acknowledges that there are advantages to monogamy: sexual safety from infections, emotional safety, paternity assurances.
Still, he thinks monogamy brings boredom, despair, lack of variety, sexual death and being taken for granted. Plus, society imposes monogamy on men, who were never expected to be monogamous, he complains. Read the rest of this entry
But things may be reversed in gay culture. “Heather” wrote in to say:
I agree completely that straight women tend to slut-shame other straight women and that straight men congratulate other straight men for their “sexual conquests.”
But in my experience that is not the case in the LBGT+ community. I’m straight myself, but among my gay and lesbian friends things seem to be the opposite: gay men slut-shame gay men, and lesbians congratulate lesbians.
In the US boys outperform girls in math. But we’re an outlier. As a Slate article describes it:
The only countries with a wider gap favoring boys are Colombia and Liechtenstein. Many Middle Eastern countries—notably Qatar, Jordan, and the U.A.E.—report a significant gender gap in favor of girls (though lower math scores overall). In Hong Kong, Singapore, and South Korea, the gender gap is miniscule, and the math scores are high. Shanghai registers no gender gap between boys and girls—together, they’re outperforming other teenagers across the globe.
Why would watching warriors prepare for battle evoke tears of deep emotion?
How could a cartoon character be transformative?
I puzzled over those questions when friends and movie reviewers, alike, shared their experience of Wonder Woman.
It made no sense.
I’ve seen plenty of battles and felt mostly bored: chaotic fighting, and you know who will win anyway.
Wonder Woman is transformative?! I read her comics as a kid… no transformation.
Curious, I went to see the film.
And… as Amazon warrior women practiced their skills tears well up.
What?! Read the rest of this entry
Some women wore shirts bellowing, “Trump can grab my pussy!”
People often confuse patriarchy with men. But they aren’t the same thing.
Plenty of men fight against patriarchy/sexism. And plenty of women are sexist.
Why are women sometimes sexist? Read the rest of this entry
When Donald Trump ran for President I lived in a liberal bubble.
Obviously, he was uninformed, self-interested, hot tempered — and just might blow up the world. And his sexist buffoonery appalled me.
I mocked him on Facebook, thinking no one else took him seriously, either.
And then some “red” friends unfriended me.
That got me out of my bubble.
I stopped chiding him and started trying to understand them.
And then something strange happened. Read the rest of this entry