Category Archives: psychology

Hillary Hating & Sexism

Hillary 1

Hillary Clinton

When people hate on Hillary I ask why.

The complaints are often curious:

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Men Dislike Double Standard More Than Women?

slut-shaming-candy-manPlenty of women hate the double standard that rewards men for having sex, but punishes women.

But on average, men dislike it more.

Why is that? Read the rest of this entry

Which Sex Has More Power, Sexually Speaking?

Which sex has more power, sexually speaking?

Which sex has more power, sexually speaking?

Who has more power when it comes to sex, men or women?

Many of us think “the other sex” has more. Probably because we get all hot and bothered when our own power is blocked.

But my students usually think that women have a stronger hold on sexual strings. Why? Because by social convention, women are expected to place limits. Read the rest of this entry

Beautiful People = The Best People? 

lovers-5Men go for looks because they are trying to mate with the healthiest, most reproductively viable women. Right? Even though to most widely spread their genes, guys will mate with just about anyone.

Yet women don’t care about looks so much because, even though women are very picky, clear physical cues to the best genes aren’t all that important. A man’s resources are what matter.

So say evolutionary psychologists.

Hmmmm. Maybe not. Read the rest of this entry

Tough Guys and Tough Guises

Tough guise

Tough guise

Boys and men can spend a lot of time putting on a tough guise, hoping to pass for tough guys.

Maybe you’ve seen Jackson Katz’s film, Tough Guise, which explores the problem.

The film opens with Dorothy pulling back the curtain of the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz — who turns out to be a nervous and tragic man.  Read the rest of this entry

Repression Shutting Down Teen Girl’s Sexuality

Dilemmas of Desire by Deborah Tolman

Dilemmas of Desire by Deborah Tolman

Young women’s experience of sexuality was ignored by social scientists for years.

But about ten years ago San Francisco State professor Deborah Tolman interviewed high school girls who would be in their late 20s today.

Prof. Tolman had expected to unveil young women’s strong yearnings, but instead she found that most were hazy about their desire. It was dulled. Or even nonexistent. Read the rest of this entry

PMS: The Only Reason Women Get Angry?

Anger does not mean I'm PMSing.

Anger does not mean I’m PMSing.

By Fe Hmelar

If I’m angry I must be PMSing?

In middle school I got into a heated argument with my little brother. I was angry because he wasn’t keeping up with his end of the housework. We were yelling back-and-forth, and all of a sudden he exclaimed, “Why are you so upset, are you PMSing?” Read the rest of this entry

Welcome To My Open Marriage

Sex At Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Caclida Jetha.

Sex At Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Caclida Jetha.

A friend invited me into his open marriage.

Well, me and a bunch of our other female friends. Plus other women I don’t know.

I declined but he’s persistant. It’s a personality trait of his.

He sent a link quoting Christopher Ryan, author of “Sex at Dawn,” who said,

We assume monogamy is natural and preferable. But (controversial) evidence says “maybe not.” If monogamy isn’t necessarily natural, then we can stop shaming and discriminating against non-monogamous behavior.

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Women in Pornography

porn-for-women[1]By Brittany Merry 

In America, pornography is almost unavoidable. What sorts of messages does it send?

To find out, I looked at the 10 “most viewed” videos on PornHub.

Two were celebrity sex tapes, and I didn’t look at those because their popularity was probably less about what they were doing than who was doing it.

All of the remaining videos were: Read the rest of this entry

She Wonders: Am I “Doing It” Right?

Puzzled womanWomen often get distracted in bed, wondering, “Am I doing it right?”

Maybe that’s why a number of my women students and blog readers have said they watch porn to figure out what guys like — not because they enjoy it, themselves — either the sex on screen or the sex moves they learn.

And they end up worrying about whether they are adventurous enough, moaning enough, loud enough, or “right.” And are they taking too long to cum?

When I told one of my friends about all this, “CJ” began telling me her story. As we sat at a kitchen table, drinking tea, she began: Read the rest of this entry

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