Blog Archives

Why Do Women Prioritize Men’s Pleasure?

Only want to please your man?

Only want to please your man?

A lot of women prioritize men’s pleasure over their own.

Instead of focusing on her own pleasure a woman may worry about whether she’s attractive enough. Or she may agree to do things she doesn’t like. Or she may give him a blowjob in his dorm room, or the backseat of his car, without expecting anything in return.

But why is that? Read the rest of this entry

Trump: It’s Only Words

Trump at the second debate.

Trump at the second debate.

Trump insults women and others but his actions are to the contrary. He hires women on an equal basis, like his daughter Ivanka and his campaign manager Kellyanne Conway. He’s more bark than bite.

That’s from one of my readers.   Read the rest of this entry

A Sex Object Not Enjoying Sex

body image poorIt’s not unusual these days for a young woman to become preoccupied with how attractive she looks, habitually seeing herself through her partner’s eyes, and judging herself based on what she thinks he thinks. In other words, to self-objectify.

Instead of enjoying sex.

I’ve talked with friends about the phenomenon and a couple of them have opened up and told me their stories. Like “Sophie,” who let me relate her story in my blog. Read the rest of this entry

Men’s Pleasure Is More Important?

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Many young women are now engaging in sex acts with men that prioritize the man’s pleasure, with little or no expectation of reciprocity.

So says cultural theorist Jackson Katz.

Sounds about right.

These young women are focused on how they look and what they do — and how their guys feel about how they look and what they do. Read the rest of this entry

If Sports Were Covered Like Women’s Beach Volleyball

In honor of the Summer Olympics, and because I’m out of town, I’m rerunning this: Interesting contrast between photos of men’s and women’s beach volleyball. For men you find tough, competitive guys:

  

And for women: Read the rest of this entry

Who Has a Higher Sex Drive?

While some women want more sex than their partners, generally the pattern goes the other way.

Why?

Researchers at Indiana University say, Read the rest of this entry

Am I “Doing It” Right?

Hannah and Adam from HBO's Girls

Hannah and Adam from HBO’s Girls

HBO’s “Girls” is an exploration of young women’s sexuality today, so I was struck by a scene that the New York Times’ Frank Bruni described as being all about what “he” wants “her” to do:

(“Hannah’s”) back is to her boyfriend, who seems to regard her as an inconveniently loquacious halfway point between partner and prop, and her concern is whether she’s correctly following instructions.

‘So I can just stay like this for a little while?’ she asks. ‘Do you need me to move more?’

Read the rest of this entry

Sexy Men Can Seem Gay

Men in Speedos. Sexy? Or gay?

Men in Speedos. Sexy? Or gay?

Imagine men in Speedos plastered all over billboards, drawing your attention to this product or that.

Sexy? Or does it seem kind of gay?

A lot of women think it seems kind of gay. But why is that? Read the rest of this entry

Sex Objects Who Don’t Enjoy Sex

Self-objectification, defined.

Laci Green defines self-objectification.

Sexual objectification can have its perks in the bedroom, with breast fetishes and butt fetishes heightening men’s arousal.

But surprisingly, it can have the opposite effect, harming both men’s and women’s enjoyment. And in many ways. Here’s one: self-objectification. Read the rest of this entry

Beauty Tricks To Remove Your Self-Esteem

cameron-russell-tedxtalk1“Can I be a model when I grow up?” 

That’s a question girls often ask model, Cameron Russell.

The lure of big money is likely a draw. But there’s probably also a yearning to feel beautiful, and therefore, worthy — and at the top of the pecking order.

As she was prepping for a TED Talk on the subject, Cameron learned that:

Of the 13-year-old girls in the United States, 53 percent don’t like their bodies, and that number goes to 78 percent by the time that they’re 17.

But if you are looking for self-esteem, modeling is not the way to go, she adds,  Read the rest of this entry

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