Blog Archives
Sexual Objectification and Me
I cut my jeans into skimpy shorts, befriended the weed-smoking troublemakers in detention, and ditched the classes I once cared about.
That’s how I rebelled in frustration over a learning disability that I eventually overcame.
In the meantime, my self-esteem came from self-objectification: Reducing myself to my body while neglecting the rest of me. Read the rest of this entry
Sex Object vs Sexy vs Sexual
Many people think that “sexual objectification” and “sexy” and “sexual” are all the same thing.
They’re not.
Here’s a quick primer: Read the rest of this entry
Keep Your Boobs, Get Better Guys
If I had I been more spiritually evolved, or more grounded at 22 when I got breast implants, I never would have gotten them. Yes I got lots of attention, sexual attention. And for awhile I enjoyed it. But as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for. It became apparent that the attention I received was not from quality people… Why did I mutilate my body to appease the tastes of SOME men? We were all duped by the media, the medical profession, our low self-esteem. I am now ready to have these D cups removed.
Why Do Women Prioritize Men’s Pleasure?
A lot of women prioritize men’s pleasure over their own.
Instead of focusing on her own pleasure a woman may worry about whether she’s attractive enough. Or she may agree to do things she doesn’t like. Or she may give him a blowjob in his dorm room, or the backseat of his car, without expecting anything in return.
But why is that? Read the rest of this entry
Trump: It’s Only Words
Trump insults women and others but his actions are to the contrary. He hires women on an equal basis, like his daughter Ivanka and his campaign manager Kellyanne Conway. He’s more bark than bite.
That’s from one of my readers. Read the rest of this entry
A Sex Object Not Enjoying Sex
It’s not unusual these days for a young woman to become preoccupied with how attractive she looks, habitually seeing herself through her partner’s eyes, and judging herself based on what she thinks he thinks. In other words, to self-objectify.
Instead of enjoying sex.
I’ve talked with friends about the phenomenon and a couple of them have opened up and told me their stories. Like “Sophie,” who let me relate her story in my blog. Read the rest of this entry
Men’s Pleasure Is More Important?
Many young women are now engaging in sex acts with men that prioritize the man’s pleasure, with little or no expectation of reciprocity.
So says cultural theorist Jackson Katz.
Sounds about right.
These young women are focused on how they look and what they do — and how their guys feel about how they look and what they do. Read the rest of this entry
If Sports Were Covered Like Women’s Beach Volleyball
In honor of the Summer Olympics, and because I’m out of town, I’m rerunning this: Interesting contrast between photos of men’s and women’s beach volleyball. For men you find tough, competitive guys:
And for women: Read the rest of this entry
Who Has a Higher Sex Drive?
While some women want more sex than their partners, generally the pattern goes the other way.
Why?
Researchers at Indiana University say, Read the rest of this entry
Am I “Doing It” Right?
HBO’s “Girls” is an exploration of young women’s sexuality today, so I was struck by a scene that the New York Times’ Frank Bruni described as being all about what “he” wants “her” to do:
(“Hannah’s”) back is to her boyfriend, who seems to regard her as an inconveniently loquacious halfway point between partner and prop, and her concern is whether she’s correctly following instructions.
‘So I can just stay like this for a little while?’ she asks. ‘Do you need me to move more?’