Category Archives: violence against women

Real Men Don’t Beat, Rape Women

By Ted Esparza

Constance Johnson was a domestic violence prosecutor – and also a battered wife.

She met her husband, Ben, in college and fell in love. They got married and were very happy for three years.

But then he began criticizing her. Everything was her fault. He was always right. And she was too fat — at 110 lbs.

After they moved near her husband’s aging parents to help them – Ben’s idea — the violence began. He didn’t seem happy after the move and one morning he decided he didn’t like his breakfast.

“Make it yourself.” Constance told him.

— SLAP — Read the rest of this entry

Ex-Hooker’s Advice to Her Younger Self

Recently, I wrote about Stella Marr who had been kidnapped and forced into prostitution, but who eventually escaped. Below is a letter she wrote to her younger, enslaved self. With details changed it is good advice for anyone, especially those who have lived through trauma. 

Words of wisdom from a survivor:

By Stella Marr @ Secret Life of a Manhattan Call Girl

Dear twenty-year old Stella, Read the rest of this entry

Becoming A Sex Worker – The Brutal

Some people get into sex work because it just seems to make sense to them, as I recently described. But more often the entry is brutal, whether poverty, drug addiction, or kidnapping force the involvement.

One prostitute writing “A Personal Refutation of the Concept of Choice” says: Read the rest of this entry

Safe v Dangerous Fraternities

Fraternity rape culture

Fraternity rape culture

When a Dartmouth frat brother invited “Lisa” to a house party she felt honored, and eagerly accepted. But after arriving she had just a couple of drinks and passed out.

The next thing she remembers is waking up at a hospital.

Sitting in her hospital bed she noticed bruises on her chest that looked like bites. Lisa told Janet Reitman at Rolling Stone, Read the rest of this entry

The Drip, Drip Toward Abuse

Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.

Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.

By Caroline R. 

At the beginning of my freshman year of college I began dating “Bob,” who seemed sweet, genuine and caring.

The first few months were the most amazing of my life. The perfect honeymoon. And I fell fast.

The rest of the relationship was a whirlwind of hurt. Read the rest of this entry

“Last Tango” Director Must Be “Free” To Rape

Maria Schneider and Marlon Brando, Last Tango In Paris

Maria Schneider and Marlon Brando, Last Tango In Paris

Last Tango In Paris director Bernardo Bertolucci helped Marlon Brando rape actress Maria Schneider in the film’s infamous “butter” scene.

In a graphic assault, Brando used a stick of butter to anally violate Ms. Schneider, who learned about the scene just before doing it: Read the rest of this entry

Tough Guys and Tough Guises

Tough guise

Tough guise

Boys and men can spend a lot of time putting on a tough guise, hoping to pass for tough guys.

Maybe you’ve seen Jackson Katz’s film, Tough Guise, which explores the problem.

The film opens with Dorothy pulling back the curtain of the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz — who turns out to be a nervous and tragic man.  Read the rest of this entry

Grandpa Told Grandma: “Make a meal for my mistress!”

Humiliating abuseBy Yesenia Herrera

One stormy night as my grandmother, aunts and uncles all slept, my grandfather crept into the house with a dead cow.

He jostled my grandmother awake and told her to help him unsaddle his horse in the middle of a Mexican rain storm.

Afterwards, per usual, he demanded she remove his muddy boots.

What followed, however, was not usual.

After drying off he told my grandmother to skin the cow and cut it up for consumption, with no time to waste.

His intention, he said, was to take the meat to his mistress. He laughed at the humiliation of his demand. Read the rest of this entry

Men Can’t Resist Groping Sexy Ladies?

Stop sexual harassment!

Stop sexual harassment!

I have seen enough groping/skirt lifting on crowded buses/trains, outside night clubs, etc. of scantly clad women to say that, yes, when there is no security around and an aroused guy feels he can get away with it he will act… It’s just human nature.

That’s what D. Jalbert told me.

Yet groping is not about short skirts or low-cut blouses.  Read the rest of this entry

Signs of an Abuser

abusive man 5One of my students recently wrote about her relationship with an abusive man. Amber’s ex-husband, “Dan,” fits many of the signs of an abuser.

An abusive man often takes his victim on a whirlwind ride of a relationship. He’s in a rush to make her fall in love so that he can begin the abuse sooner rather than later. And, she gets so attached that it is hard to leave.  Read the rest of this entry

%d bloggers like this: