Category Archives: violence against women

Patriarchy and the notion that sex is worse than murder

A man kills in an attempt to eliminate sexual temptation. But isn’t murder more heinous than sex? And is sex heinous?

How does one arrive at such a mindset? 

Much has been said about evangelical teachings that, while rarely inciting murder, drew Robert Aaron Long to kill eight people, six of them Asian women who worked at spas in the Atlanta region. The teachings commonly reduce a man’s worthiness to his skill at keeping his mind off of illicit thoughts and reduce a woman’s worthiness to modesty — so as to keep men from sinning. Because if he sins it’s her fault, really. The next logical step in Long’s mind was to eradicate evil, immodest women.

Read more at The Good Men Project or Medium.

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Grooming the Rich and Famous for Abuse

Evan Rachel Wood and FKA twigs with Shia LaBeouf

The last few months have found wealthy, successful women escaping abusive relationships, with Evan Rachel Wood and FKA twigs prominent among them.

But how do wealthy women who, it seems, could so easily leave, end up in such harrowing circumstances? Actually, theirs is the story we find among most victims of domestic violence, rich or poor: whirlwind romance, controlling behavior, isolation, criticism and verbal abuse leading to violence.

Forewarned is forearmed. What can we learn from the experiences of FKA twigs and Evan Rachel Wood?  Read the rest of this entry

Dominatrix: Worshipped and Objectified 

Paul Giamatti of Showtime’s Billions, all tied up as his dominatrix wife looks down on him.

I recently debated two of my readers, Bob and Fred, about whether women like being dominated in consensual sex. 

After searching my files I found a sample of my students, 83 women and 63 men who are not gay/lesbian (because I wanted a sample of people who have sex cross-sexually). I had wondered what my male students believed about women and what women felt, themselves: Read the rest of this entry

Toxic Masculinity = Masculinity?

Reader comments inspired this blog post which I published on Good Men Project:

Why do so many men insist that masculinity is the same thing as toxic masculinity — the violent, aggressive variant that leads to horrors like rape or beatings or terrorism (domestic and foreign)? I wondered about this while talking with some non-feminist acquaintances — I try to reach beyond my feminist choir on a regular basis.

We had gotten onto the subject of the tweetstorm created by Danielle Muscato’s question, “What would you do if all men had a 9 pm curfew?”

The men I spoke with were infuriated, taking the proposal literally and not as a thought experiment. “That would be a human rights violation,” said one. “Women would have nothing to do since most businesses would close at 9 PM,” said another.

Read more@ Good Men Project.

9 PM Curfew For Toxic Masculinity

Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir on curfews for men.

Years ago when Israel faced a rape epidemic someone suggested putting women under curfew until the country was safe again.

Prime Minister Golda Meir thought better: Men are committing the rapes. Let them be put under curfew.

I thought of that when Danielle Muscato wondered on Twitter,

What would you do if all men had a 9 pm curfew? Read the rest of this entry

Pro-Sex Assault, Anti-Condom, Anti-Abortion

Trump and Kavanaugh

Contradiction abounds among too many Republican leaders of the male persuasion. 

These men are anti-abortion yet fight against contraception — the most effective means of preventing one. 

Or they are anti-abortion until they want their partners to get one. 

Or they engage in sexual assault even while acting to prevent women and girls from accessing abortion should they be impregnated by such a horrifying act. 

It all sounds contradictory. But patriarchy ties it all altogether. Read the rest of this entry

Healing Song: Love More

Love More by Sharon Van Etten

By David Chou

“Love More” is a sorrowful song with a hopeful ending.

A pulsing accordion is the first thing to hit your ears. Then comes the haunting voice of Sharon Van Etten, drawn out and steady. Within moments her lyrics paint a sad picture of domestic turmoil.

In an interview with Pitchfork Van Etten tells the story behind the song. Read the rest of this entry

Terrorist War On Women and Girls

Ariana Grande’s “Dangerous Woman”

Why would terrorists target girls and mothers?

You’ve surely heard of the ISIS attack at Ariana Grande’s “Dangerous Woman” concert in Manchester, England.

“Dangerous Woman” — an anthem of female empowerment. Scary stuff to male-supremests. Read the rest of this entry

Real Men Don’t Beat, Rape Women

By Ted Esparza

family-violence[1]Constance Johnson was a domestic violence prosecutor – and also a battered wife.

She met her husband, Ben, in college and fell in love. They got married and were very happy for three years.

But then he began criticizing her. Everything was her fault. He was always right. And she was too fat — at 110 lbs.

After they moved near her husband’s aging parents to help them – Ben’s idea — the violence began. He didn’t seem happy after the move and one morning he decided he didn’t like his breakfast.

“Make it yourself.” Constance told him.

— SLAP — Read the rest of this entry

Ex-Hooker’s Advice to Her Younger Self

Recently, I wrote about Stella Marr who had been kidnapped and forced into prostitution, but who eventually escaped. Below is a letter she wrote to her younger, enslaved self. With details changed it is good advice for anyone, especially those who have lived through trauma. 

Words of wisdom from a survivor:

By Stella Marr @ Secret Life of a Manhattan Call Girl

Dear twenty-year old Stella, Read the rest of this entry

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