Blog Archives

Women Want Emotionally Connected Sex. Why?

105464-103886Women want emotionally connected sex.

Not all women, all the time.

But University of Texas psychologists, Cindy Meston and David Buss interviewed over 1,000 women around the world for their book, Why Women Have Sex, and here’s what they found: Read the rest of this entry

Open Marriage Hasn’t Caught On?

Why hasn’t open marriage caught on?

Open marriage, the sensible alternative to monogamy?

On the plus side, a couple may enjoy a close-knit family and loving spousal relationship, but with an exciting dash of sexual variety.

Sex columnist, Dan Savage, is all for it. But he acknowledges that there are advantages to monogamy: sexual safety from infections, emotional safety, paternity assurances.

Still, he thinks monogamy brings boredom, despair, lack of variety, sexual death and being taken for granted. Plus, society imposes monogamy on  men, who were never expected to be monogamous, he complains. Read the rest of this entry

I Slut-Shamed Before I Was Slut-Shamed

By Aili Masuda

I slut-shamed girls before I was slut-shamed, myself.

Yes, as a little girl I succumbed to the standard of humiliating other girls. Now I see that this behavior grew from my own insecurities. And because I didn’t know what it was like to be the target.

But it wasn’t long before I became the target, myself.  Read the rest of this entry

My Story of Sex-Positivity

Sex positivity

By Brittany

Editors note: I’m trying to learn why some women are more sex-positive than others. So I asked my students, if they were interested, to tell me stories of their backgrounds. 

So far I have found a few things that distinguish women who experience more sex-negativity and sexual dysfunction. They — and in my youth I would count myself among them — are more likely to: Read the rest of this entry

Keep Your Boobs, Get Better Guys

boobsIf I had I been more spiritually evolved, or more grounded at 22 when I got breast implants, I never would have gotten them. Yes I got lots of attention, sexual attention. And for awhile I enjoyed it. But as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for. It became apparent that the attention I received was not from quality people… Why did I mutilate my body to appease the tastes of SOME men? We were all duped by the media, the medical profession, our low self-esteem. I am now ready to have these D cups removed.

Read the rest of this entry

Why Men Objectify

Some men wonder why they objectify women.

So Jayson Gaddis asked men on his Facebook page why they thought they did, and then he wrote about it for The Good Men Project.

What is objectification? Jayson describes it as:

Staring, gawking, or checking out women and their bodies and body parts. Seeing them as objects instead of actual people, and thinking of them in a sexual way.

Why do they do it? Read the rest of this entry

Porn Fantasy Mistaken for Reality

Porn fantasy versus reality.

Porn fantasy versus reality.

By Demon Ted

Does porn raise men’s expectations of how women should perform in bed? I believe it depends entirely on the man’s ability to distinguish between real life and fantasy.

True, you could try to recreate porn in real life. But then it’s not real. It’s acting. So you’re back to fantasy.

I think porn is great to enjoy. But men must realize what it is.

Unfortunately, a lot of men (and some women in regards to things like Twilight) get fantasy and reality mixed up. And that can harm relationships.

Take my girlfriend’s ex. He’s a nasty piece of work. Barely finished high school, can’t drive, no job. Literally sits at home all day. But because my girlfriend was young when she met him, he became a lot of “firsts.” And he made her think that things that weren’t healthy were. Read the rest of this entry

Turning on the Sex Goddess

Naomi Wolf wants women to have better sex lives, and more empowered lives generally. Vagina: A New Biography seeks to light the way.

Wolf began researching this book after she regained her sexual desire, creativity and passion for life — much to her surprise — when her spinal cord was repaired.

I’ll discuss the larger life issues later. For now, let’s look at how her somewhat controversial book might benefit women with low libido, and the partners who love them.   Read the rest of this entry

Women, Objects of Desire (Even for Women?)

Women bombarded by Victoria's Secret models

Women bombarded by Victoria’s Secret models

Sexy lady’s bodies have been the focus of pop culture for decades.

Maybe that’s why even straight women were more aroused by a nude woman than by a nude man in one study, when measuring blood flow to the vagina. Some research suggests culture may be playing a role.

Is this true? A student of mine wondered.  Read the rest of this entry

Cindy Crawford Brings Men Pleasure; Women Pain

Cindy Crawford on Playboy cover

Cindy Crawford on Playboy cover

Women have mixed feelings about nearly-naked Cindy Crawford.

There is appreciation: “Attractive… sexy… love her!”

But also animosity (“F-ING ANNOYING” anyone?). And she makes a lot of women — nearly half — feel bad about their bodies.

Straight men, on the other hand, felt (no surprise) mostly pleasure.

But not all of them. Read the rest of this entry

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