Category Archives: rape and sexual assault
My First “Sexual Experiences” Felt Demeaning
Stop sexual assault
By Sutana Aziz
I’ve never had a boyfriend, never gone on a date, or even been kissed. But I have been sexually assaulted. Twice.
And that is partly why I have never dated. Read the rest of this entry
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“Yes Means Yes” Is Scary? Rape Is Scary
Consent is sexy
“Yes means yes” is the standard for sexual consent on California’s state college campuses.
That’s because “no means no” isn’t good enough.
After all, a woman may not be able to say, “No” because she is frozen with fear. Or she is asleep. Or she’s had too much to drink. Or for a number of other reasons.
Some guys welcome the change, like a 19-year-old English major who told Emily Brazelon at the New York Times, Read the rest of this entry
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Good Men Defending Title IX Protections from Sexual Assault
Title IX protects both women and men.Education Secretary Betsy DeVos wants to weaken Title IX
Education Secretary Betsy DeVoss wants to weaken Title IX protections from sexual harassment and violence in schools.
Why should men join in the fight to block her proposed changes? Men, like readers of this blog, seek justice and equality.
And, as it turns out, Title IX protections help men too!
Read more at The Good Men Project.
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Domination Culture’s Assault on Title IX
Title IX protects from sexual crimes on campus are under threat.
Why is Education Secretary Betsy DeVoss fighting against the interests of other women by weakening Title IX protections from sexual harassment and violence in schools, narrowing the standards used to determine what counts as a crime and making it more difficult for victims to come forward?
Some women accept the “patriarchal bargain” which bestows power and privilege in return for betraying their sisters. Others have unconsciously internalized patriarchy so that it simply seems natural and normal. Still others seek to advance domination culture because it richly rewards themselves, and patriarchy’s strong arm helps uphold that system. Read the rest of this entry
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9 PM Curfew For Toxic Masculinity
Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir on curfews for men.
Years ago when Israel faced a rape epidemic someone suggested putting women under curfew until the country was safe again.
Prime Minister Golda Meir thought better: Men are committing the rapes. Let them be put under curfew.
I thought of that when Danielle Muscato wondered on Twitter,
What would you do if all men had a 9 pm curfew? Read the rest of this entry
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Pro-Sex Assault, Anti-Condom, Anti-Abortion
Trump and Kavanaugh
Contradiction abounds among too many Republican leaders of the male persuasion.
These men are anti-abortion yet fight against contraception — the most effective means of preventing one.
Or they are anti-abortion until they want their partners to get one.
Or they engage in sexual assault even while acting to prevent women and girls from accessing abortion should they be impregnated by such a horrifying act.
It all sounds contradictory. But patriarchy ties it all altogether. Read the rest of this entry
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Her Defense: I Had No Desire
Her desire is offensive and shamed. His is celebrated.
Why are girls still shamed for being sexually assaulted?
And why is lacking sexual desire still seen as good… a good girl?
In a double standard that does not hold for men? Read the rest of this entry
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#Metoo: My Story Of Recovery
By R.G.
Seven years ago I was sexually assaulted.
I don’t owe anyone a story and I still have difficulty assessing what happened.
My story is not sensational. It did not make headlines. But yes, it happened and it is important to share.
I was in an emotionally manipulative and sexually abusive relationship. I waited and waited for his affirmation of what happened in order to validate my experience, but it never seemed to come. Read the rest of this entry
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How Does A Man Ask A Woman Out Post-Weinstein?
Sexual harassment is finally coming out of the closet.
One of my male Facebook friends wondered: how does a man ask a woman out post-Weinstein?
He’s not the only one who wonders. A New York Times headline blared “Deep Confusion of the Post-Weinstein Moment.” Read the rest of this entry
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The Rapist In Our Minds
You’ve probably heard Rose McGowan’s powerful speech to The Women’s Convention of Detroit, which included these words:
Hollywood may seem like it’s an isolated thing, but it is not. It is the messaging system for your mind. It is the mirror that you’re given to look into…
[Movies are] told through 96 percent males in the Directors’ Guild of America… We are given one view. And I know the men behind that view. And they should not be in your mind and they should not be in my mind. It’s time to clean house.
This comes in response to accusations of sexual abuse by Hollywood producer, Harvey Weinstein, and others.
Media reflects and reinforces culture
Media reflects, reinforces, and helps to create the larger culture. Read the rest of this entry
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