Keep Your Boobs, Get Better Guys

boobsIf I had I been more spiritually evolved, or more grounded at 22 when I got breast implants, I never would have gotten them. Yes I got lots of attention, sexual attention. And for awhile I enjoyed it. But as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for. It became apparent that the attention I received was not from quality people… Why did I mutilate my body to appease the tastes of SOME men? We were all duped by the media, the medical profession, our low self-esteem. I am now ready to have these D cups removed.

That’s a comment a woman placed on a web site called “48 Reasons Not To Get A Boob Job.” The response followed the male author’s contention that:

If you want more male attention, implants may increase the quantity but only with a corresponding decrease in quality. You’ll probably get your biggest gains in approval among guys who are most prone to objectifying you.

Whether you see all this as good or bad depends on what you’re after. If you want all eyes on you, or random sex, fake boobs could do the trick.

But some women see a downside, like this woman’s experience:

A woman asked me about implants last week and I told her about the risks. But I told her the things people don’t talk about, like not being able to buy every little cute top, how no one looks you in the eyes, how people think of you as a bimbo.

Still, the culture worships this fetish, leaving a young woman asking the following question.

Are big boobs important to guys? Because as you can see from the photo, I have really small breasts and I have really low self-esteem because of it. Do guys only think a girl is hot by the size of her bra cuz if that’s true I am in big trouble.

Here’s what some guys thought about guys who judge women by bust size:

  • If someone would not date you based solely upon the size of your breasts they would not be worth jack squat anyway.
  • If any guy judges you differently because of your breast size, he doesn’t deserve you!
  • Any guy getting with someone just because they have a nice rack doesn’t seem like it could be a stable relationship.
  • Don’t worry about your boobs, period. We love you for who you are.

Preferring a certain breast size doesn’t make a man good or bad. But having that be the deciding factor is a problem.

Women, men and relationships are so much more.

And here’s some good advice:

I’m not busty, nor am I gorgeous, but when I was single, I had NO TROUBLE attracting plenty of great men.

I have some hints for women who are interested in attracting men — they have NOTHING to do with your boobs!….

#3 Carry yourself well! Stand tall…

#5 — Don’t apologize for your body…. If the man you’re with constantly makes you feel insecure, you don’t need a boob job – you need a new man!

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on May 26, 2017, in body image, sex and sexuality and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 76 Comments.

  1. This post was interesting for me to read because I found that I do not relate to it at all. I have never worried about what guys would think of my body shape, about my clothes, or whether or not I wear makeup. Rather, I tend to worry about what girls will think of me. I am always more self-conscious about my appearance when I am in the presence of other girls. I think this is because girls are more judgemental. Growing up, I would hear the girls gossiping about what other girls in our class were wearing or how they did their makeup or how they looked. Honestly, I was probably one of those girls at times. I always felt like I needed to impress the other girls with my style and my hair if I wanted to feel acceptance. I never got those vibes from the guys.

  2. This was a very interesting post for me, especially since I am a guy. First off I would like to say that I 100 percent agree with the responses from the guys on “”. If a guy can not get over the fact that you don’t have very large breasts, even if his preference in women id for them to have large breasts, than he is not worth your time or effort. I would also like to address the whole Quality of guys versus Quantity of guys section of your post, as you are absolutely spot on about this point. Sure, while more guys in a bar or social setting may show increased interest in you because you have large breasts, there is going to be a significant percentage of those guys who are ONLY showing interest in you Because you have large breasts. Hence an increase in quantity of guys and a decrease in the quality of these guys. In conclusion, this was an eye-opening article for me and I think that it is definitely something that needs to be discussed further amongst women.

  3. Brooke Hatfield

    As someone growing up with natural DD’s I did notice fro ma young age it became the staple of what people would see . Something I also found even more annoying then my first sight appearance was almost anything I ware immediately becomes sexual. For other girl i would notice their low cut shirts or crop tops and strapless tops they were seen as cute and adorable. Me with my chest being at its size my outfits came off as slutty, reveling , or sexy. Swimsuit season was a freak show. Women with my bust size hae a real journey to embark on alone to find something supportive and yet cute but not too sexy and not too covered. It is a nighmare. DD’s have taught me that no matter what I wear there will be looks. They grab attention and people want to see “more” aand yet at the same time shame us for “too much.” To me big boobs are a double negative in women’s culture. As a Big Boob McGee veteran I wish they weren’t sexualized in our culture.

  4. I absolutely agree that if someone is seeking to alter their appearance in any way, simply to conform to beauty standards or to seek approval from others, it will never work out for them.

    Any person seeking a connection with another based solely on their appearance is not seeing that person as a complex, whole person. They are seeing that person as an object of their desire, onto which they can project whatever they think that means. They can see them as beautiful, slutty/easy, as whatever fantasies they have. Starting any kind of relationship from that perspective dooms it from the start. You cannot form a genuine connection if you aren’t seeing and accepting the person as they are.

    And any person seeking to become what they think others want will attract those who are seeking only those who fit into their specific mold. Attempting to put their expectations on another, and attempting to fulfill those expectations, will only lead to the unhappiness that comes when you are not being true to yourself.

  5. Mariah Poitier

    Body Image is something I have been starting to not struggle with anymore, I remember being ashamed of having a big butt , stretch marks, I felt like by breast were weird looking and just wrong. It wasn’t until when I went to college and I started going out to clubs and parties and when guys seemed very interested in my physical appearance /assets I said to myself “You cannot let someone else love your body more than you do” . Additionally as a christian, I repeat a scripture that goes “you are fearfully and wonderfully made” and I remind myself that i am beautiful. It saddens me to see girls not see their beauty in every part of themselves, because we are so unique and our beauty is one of a kind. When it comes to breast augmentation,every woman has the right to do whatever she wants with her body, however if her desire for the surgery comes out of insecurities or trying to impress men, it seems like a decision they would regret.

  6. I do believe social media has a lot to do with how women portray their bodies, they see these Instagram models getting all these likes on social media because of their unrealistic body images and they translate that as if I get these enormous breasts men would want me, but that isn’t true. Men objectify these women online, they don’t see them as an actual person they can have a deep intellectual connection with in the end, and if they did ever pursue a relationship it would have a lifespan of a few months. Men appreciate women with confidence and a drive, not to mention a personality.

    • And women with large breasts can certainly have confidence, drive and a personality. But I did see a study which show that men who were obsessed with enormous breasts were more likely to object — not always, but more likely.

  7. denise m mamaril

    Reading that I can understand what women are going through. In fact, a lot of my male friends like to have girlfriends that have big breasts. Let’s say in general a good body that everybody will notice. A lot of time they will not date a girl because she doesn’t have these types of things that they are looking for. In my country, it’s the same. I totally disagree with what people think. In fact, contrary to other people I like a woman because of her inside and also because of her body ( I usually date thin women) it’s kind of to say that everybody has default and qualities. I totally understand the frustration of women cause I used to see what my sisters were going through just to find a boyfriend.

    • And 80% of young women have poor body image, and women’s self esteem is largely based on how attractive they think they are. There are a lot of problems with our crazy ideals.

  8. Another thought comes to my mind – why so many women use iron to straighten their hair? Similar issue, no?

    I have always loved natural curly hair, but my wife still insists on she feeling better with straightened ones. Maybe one day will come when women will not like that too!

  9. This article is on point with all the comments. A lot of women are manipulated by the media and are pressured to get a bigger bust. But with a bigger bust comes a bigger responsibility. It causes your back to hurt and your posture to be slouched. You are carrying so much weight in the front of your body it gets painful sometimes. No woman should have to go through pain just to please a man. He won’t even be able to see your boobs unless you allow him to. When my friend had big boobs she hated it, she didn’t have it for men, she hated showing them off.. She got a boob reduction and she feels so much better. I feel like if a woman wants a boob job they should get it but, if her reason is for men to like her, I think she should look for better things to do. Women aren’t here to please men. I’m glad that a lot of ladies are starting to see that now a days.

  10. This article reminds me of a conversation I had with my friend. She is a girl who truly didn’t like that sort of “sexual attention” from men. She used to describe herself as asexual and only ever focused on making friends in life. She would always complain that she could never make any good friends. All of the guy friends that would appear to be friendly and involved in her life only ended up wanting sex. This lead her getting too close with “creepy” and sometimes dangerous men. She is much older now but she talked about the phase in her life where she began dressing more “unnactractive”. She had to become more aware of her appearance and saved clothes That showed skin for certain occasions. From this change she noticed that the amount of “friendly” guys who would spark up conversations with her almost completely went to zero. This was sad for her but she realized that all her closest friends now, including her husband, were men that she herself initiated the friendship and approached herself.

  11. I totally agree with the idea mentioned in this post that women getting breast implants should not be for the sole purpose of pleasing men. I believe that there are several other reasons, like being in an accident and having plastic surgery as part of the recovery, or just wanting to change her outer image for herself, which are quite plausible. Although many women live in a culture that depreciates their value due to their appearance, women should always maintain their confidence and morality, and do things because it is what they want to do – not because someone else told them to.

    • And because we internalize society’s values it can be difficult to know the difference between what you truly want and what you have unconsciously internalized. And women really can get better guys if they avoid the ones to judge women on their breast size.

  12. Reading that I can understand what women are going through. In fact, a lot of my male friends like to have girlfriends that have big breasts. Let’s say in general a good body that everybody will notice. A lot of time they will not date a girl because she doesn’t have these types of things that they are looking for. In my country, it’s the same. I totally disagree with what people think. In fact, contrary to other people I like a woman because of her inside and also because of her body ( I usually date thin women) it’s kind of to say that everybody has default and qualities. I totally understand the frustration of women cause I used to see what my sisters were going through just to find a boyfriend.

  13. I totally agree with what has been said. I have small boobs myself and I used to think about it a lot, especially as I have a sister who has significantly bigger boobs than I do. When she would get more attention and I could hear guys talking about her boobs and its size, it would make me feel insecure and lower my self-esteem. Yet, talking with her now, I can see that big boobs comes with a lot of struggles too – my sister always have a harder time working out just because her boobs are bigger, and let’s not talk about the pain during the period…. Everything has its pluses and minuses, as we know, nothings perfect.
    However, I have realized that boobs aren’t the thing that guys look for. Yes, it might seem that way nowadays, but as already mentioned in this blog, it will probably give you attention in terms of quantity, not quality and that’s not something women want.
    I think we are most beautiful when we are natural, I have never considered getting implants even though I used to complain about how small my boobs are. I think that none of us should do anything extreme just to be seen as more beautiful by other, because at the end of the day it’s not even true. All men will see is more sexier and that’s just again sexualizing women by patriarchal standards. We should learn to love ourselves the way we are, with small or big boobs.

  14. Lawrence Boone

    The notion that women with naturally large breasts cannot get quality men is ridiculous.There are still men out there that are not fixated on the size of a woman’s chest. There are some men out there enjoy a woman’s company in addition to how she looks. I think society has played a large part in advancing this notion about how men see breasts. While I must admit that men are very visual, at some point, for a relationship to last, both must get past the physical features and actually have a meaningful conversation. In the end, breast size should and doesn’t matter to most real men. I guess I agree that men who make breasts size a deciding factor have problems. That are immature and not really ready for a real relationship. I would also say this about women who would make penis size a deciding factor as well.

    • The notion that women with naturally large breasts cannot get quality men is NOT WHAT THIS POST SAYS.

      Of course plenty of quality men like large, medium, small, all sizes. But if a woman feels she needs to get implants to get a man, that’s not a quality man.

  15. Many young girls are afraid that guys won’t pay any attention to them if they have small breasts. Nowadays all you see on television are women with large chests. In movies, that is what many guys are drawn to. We have seen from magazines and any other form of social media that “sexy” means big chest. This is what society teaches us and young girls to be. “This is what attracts men, so this is how you must be.” There is so much insecurity in women, that most would do anything to get a guy’s attention. Like the article says, if you buy a bigger chest, you will definitely attract a guy’s attention. But is it the type of guy you want attention from? Do you really want a guy to like you for the size of your chest? I wouldn’t I want my guy to love me for who I am on the inside first.
    The title says it all; “Keep your boobs, get better guys.”

  16. The female body has been subjected to so much objectification and sexualization that it seems even women themselves are beginning to view themselves and their bodies from men’s perspectives. Unfortunately, even those who undertake the necessary means to attain this impossible ideal set by the society we live in still find themselves unhappy with their circumstances. I think that the following quote, “Still, the culture worships this fetish, leaving a young woman asking the following…”, is very telling in and of itself; the culture we are living in has placed such pressure on women to live up to this hypersexualized, unrealistic, image of femininity that even the youngest of women are beginning to take notice and internalize these images as something they need to attain.

    A recent report by the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls, found that the increasing sexualization of girls and women has not only had an impact on the attitudes and beliefs of girls and women but on men as well. According to the report the girls and women who are exposed to more mainstream media and content are more likely to base other women’s worth and their own, on physical appearance. Unsurprisingly enough, mainstream media and content has also affected men as well, with men also using beauty to determine their potential partner’s worth. I think that any adult woman who is unhappy with her body and of sound mind, should be able to do with it what she wants, however, I do not think that it is a good idea to undergo such a drastic procedure to get attention from men who would have otherwise been uninterested.

  17. I have naturally large breasts and resent that “I may not get quality men” because of the size of my breasts although I do understand this woman’s point of view and why she would feel this is the case for all big breasted women.
    In my experience, as a person with large breasts for a large portion of my life, it’s actually not the size that matters, it’s what you do with them that attracts the extra so called “attention” of lower quality men. For example, if I put them on display in a cleavage revealing shirt, I definitely won’t get the deserved eye contact I deserve on a first date. In contrast, if I’m wearing a button down shirt in an office full of men, I don’t have this problem at all as they are tucked and concealed under my shirt.
    I did an experiment in my office once. I wore different shirts to the office and the more cleavage I showed, the less men could resist glaring at them mid conversation and it actually made some of them uncomfortable because they could not look away and they knew it was obvious to me. I found that the married guys just called me over the phone the rest of the day while others, usually younger, would make up excuses to talk to me at my desk. All quality men, however some don’t know how to handle boobs in their faces. I had a ex BF once while in mid conversation actually just say the word “boobs” and continued on with his sentence as if nothing happened. He had no recollection of the incident. It’s silly.
    In conclusion, there is extra attention that comes with having larger breasts and I found that the responsibility falls on myself to dress appropriately if I want to avoid gawkers. However, I have managed to still attract quality men, you just have to weed through the bad ones, which I’m sure applies to all women.

    • “I have naturally large breasts and resent that “I may not get quality men” because of the size of my breasts”

      Not what I meant by reprinting what was written. Of course plenty of quality men like large, medium, small, all sizes. But if a woman feels she needs to get implants to get a man, that’s not a quality man.

  18. Estefany Hyde

    Growing up as a flat chested female, I received a lot of hate. I was called a lot of funny names and it took me to the point where I was using not one but TWO pushup bras. Who is it to blame? certainly not the people that were making fun of me. We live in a society where the beauty of a woman is not based on her intelligence or her qualities but her physical appearance. When I look back to it I understand why people acted the way they did. I do not blame them, I blame the standards we as women are supposed to follow.

  19. Is it fair to separate it and see that despite women’s different bodies, same for men. That people can have different preferences, but that doesn’t mean to shame or treat women differently based on their looks and body, same for men. That’s the problem. I think it’s a d bag thing for a guy to not or wouldn’t fall in love with a woman if she has small boobs. But you can respect women, and may have different preferences but still be decent about it. Like you said, everyone is beautiful in their own right.

    Even if you are not attracted to said person’s looks or body, doesn’t mean you have the right to shame them or treat them like crap, like they are of lesser worth. That’s the problem to me, because the fact is. I and most people are not going to find everyone person physically attractive and as a result not sexually attractive based on their body and looks. If that was the case, everybody or every man would find every woman or most sexually attractive. But everyone has their own cup of tea. I have to find a woman at least cute or somewhat physically attractive and body somewhat physically attractive if I want to date her. But there’a good amount of leeway too, but there is a point where I won’t be attracted, but that’s same for many people. If it was, everybody would find everybody physically and sexually attractive physically right?

  20. women have judged men on everything in the physical realm just as much if not more so then men judging women.Women have had the world’s longest pity party and have controlled the narrative on body image issues for decades.I have heard women slander men on anything and everything from height,looks,hair,bedroom skill,penis size,job income etc since forever and a day…I think you and your female posters should really chew on that awhile.

  21. This post was so enriching it was almost ice cream! I absolutely agree that society will set a standard for what is “sexy” or “hot” for a woman by when she goes about surgically modifying she’s ridiculed and shamed. How can you set a standard and not want anyone to exceed it? Who said who’s exceeding what? I have a large chest, so what? Boobs are just boos, I see no facination? Media makes women believe that inorder to attract men you must be exotic and full figured but not too overweight but slim and thick at the same time, who has time for that? It makes simple tasks like jean shopping seem like a actual fight or flight situation because they have to hug every curve perfectly but what if I just want comfortable jeans?! We need to enforce back the idea and FACT that everybody’s body type is different and they’re no two identical body types 100%. Everyone is beautiful why is that harder to teach then hate?

  22. Totally agree. And, I also agree with the first comment by Fred747….

  23. Arletta Ellington

    I like this post! One thing that doesn’t come up, however is how does the implant affect a woman’s own experience of her breasts being touched in lovemaking. Cherishing one’s capacity for lustful sensation seems a better thing to do than trying to enhance your value on the meat market.
    Would be interesting to hear how women with implants experience their effect on the feeling of loving touch.

    • Yeah, I’m glad you brought that up. I have written about it another posts, But it’s always good to have that reminder.

      When women get their breasts cut for the implants it very often cuts erotic sensation to the breast. So she becomes a sex object for someone else but is less able to be in touch with her own sexual pleasure.

      And since most men care mostly about her pleasure that’s a bummer for him too.

      • Arletta Ellington

        Well – I thought so. While I worked as a teacher of English (in Sweden), we sometimes got into discussions about these questions. Not very often, but when we did, I was appalled by the fact that young women 17 – 19 years old, seemed to be – how shall I say – infested by the thought of “improving” their bodies by surgery. And I’m having this discussion with my younger middle-aged daughters. And they feel this as a pressure too. So, what can be done about it?

      • Well, confidence is a bigger attracter and is more important than how our bodies look — and confidence comes from within.

        Plus, you get better guys. Not to say that good guys don’t like large breasts but they’ll be less likely to attract men who care ONLY about that.

  24. The media plays to the lowest common denominator, there is so much more to a woman than her measurements.

  25. > If someone would not date you based solely upon the size of your breasts they would not be worth jack squat anyway.

    Oh, that is too harsh I think. No need to judge them that much, and let me explain why. I am on the opposite side of fetish: I don’t care about breasts. Instead, I am fascinated by tall girls with long slender legs. It is my curse, because I simply cannot feel any physical lust towards other girls. No matter how much I like them as a person, or how much I drink, it just does not click. I cannot control it, it just happens (or not) in my head. It is my curse because those girls usually have many options and I am always not on top of their list. I’d be happy to have chemistry with a different kind of girl (I tried many times), but it just does not happen. So don’t judge those guys, it may be not their fault and there could be no way for them to change it.

    • Humans really are more flexible than you give yourself credit for. As it is, both you and women who don’t fit your criteria lose.

      • At this point in my life I feel like I have to accept that I am different from many other people. I think that it is important to acknowledge that humans are another species of imperfect animals messily shaped by the evolution. It just makes life easier. Sometimes our bodies let us down, sometimes our minds do. Human sexuality is just another part of the whole mess that bends itself in really whimsical way sometimes. Some people feel like broken toys inside and it is not their fault.

      • Well, there is being broken. And then there is the potential for growth.

        Working on this issue could bring greater happiness to all involved.

        How to deal with it? I don’t have all the answers but I will be responding to that question from another commentor. So check out my response to ratamacue0, which I still need to write.

      • I think your reply here reduces to “you’re doing it wrong”, which isn’t very helpful or informative, IMO.

        How do you think he can become attracted to women who don’t match this preference of his?

      • Well, this post was mostly targeted to women. But you bring up a good point. What’s a guy to do? I’ll have to write another post on the question.

        I don’t have all the answers but here’s what I do you know: You don’t find these sorts of problems in all societies. In some societies men typically prefer large breasts, in some they typically prefer small, and in some societies breasts simply don’t create any sort of fetish. So the culture is doing something that is having this effect.

        But it’s also true that despite our common big breast fetish not all men have it. And even those who do can usually still manage to have sex with women regardless of their breast size.

        Who we are is a mix of culture + social interactions + biology.

        A lot of men who experience ED are men who have been overexposed to pornography. (And difficulties like this red flag for possible overexposure).

        So one option is to stop watching pornography for a while. Seems to work.

        Another problem is that guys can get the idea in their minds that they can’t perform unless… (fill in the blank). And the fear that they can’t perform creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. Masters and Johnson have techniques that help men to overcome performance anxiety. So check that out.

        Other men find that they can perform when they shift their view away from fetish things and toward creating oneness in relationship. The couple gets together and notices the erotic in small things: the curve of the calf, the small of the back… And even nonphysical things: there’s a strong connection to each other. And focus on sensations of the genitals, While letting go expectations and fears. Just feeling into small sensations, which grow lager with focus. (This works for orgasm problems for women too).

        Or, see a therapist.

      • You can blame culture for creating specific images of sexuality. But I think it is unfair to blame it for the basic fact of humans having specific sexual preferences. Conduct an imaginable experiment. Take a reasonably large population of newborn humans. Let them raise in a neutral cultural environment that is free of breast fetish and other bad stuff. Will they have sexual preferences by the time they hit puberty? I am pretty sure they will, maybe different ones, or maybe not. Sexual selection is a biological fact and there is no way to turn it off.

        And when women have specific sexual preferences it is called “having standards” 🙂

      • Men and women, alike, I can expand the possibilities.

    • So what is my main thought: It is unfair to judge people for having sexual preferences. Be it breast fetish, long legs fetish, or 6’4” quarterback fetish (believe it exists, just surf through social media pages of football fangirls). It is just nature. Enforcing specific images of sexuality through whatever way (porn, media, …) is sick, here I totally agree.

      • I’m not judging the preference. I know that it is an unconscious process that people don’t have a lot of control over. But there are ways to expand a possibilities.

  26. I have no problem with implants per se but to hear those kinds of regrets is heart breaking. Our bodies are not to be trifled with.

  27. So, one thing that stood out to me with this post was “Preferring a certain breast size doesn’t make a man good or bad. But having that be the deciding factor is a problem.” I certainly stand by this. Hey, even us women sometimes prefer men that have muscles, a nice smile, nice hair…But this is usually never a determining factor of whether or not we chose to love this person.

    I myself naturally have larger breasts than most other females. I’ve heard it all from, “Are they real?!” to “Dang! Do those hurt your back?” to “Wow, guys must love those!” Let me tell you, being asked these questions never feels good. It’s usually the first thing people notice about you.

    Back to the quote that originally drew me to this post…I definitely agree that breast size should never be a deciding factor of whether or not someone wants to be with you or not. If it is my advice is to dump him immediatly!!! Whoever this man is, is not worth your time. If a man truly loves you for you, having a “large rack” will not matter to him anyway.

    Confidence is key. If you do not have large breast’s, stand tall and work what you got! There are postives and negatives to both sides, I believe you should feel blessed with what you have. I also believe that if a woman does want to get breast implants, she should never ever be doing it for the attention of males, because I firmly believe in quality over quantity. Do what you do for yourself and no one else.

    • Yeah, most of us end up with preferences of some sort and they rise through unconscious processes that are typically strongly affected by culture. So you can’t demean someone for unconscious processes that have gotten them where they are.

      And thanks for sharing your experience with this. I know from my own experience and from the experience of many others that confidence is key when it comes to attraction.

      And if someone isn’t going to like you because of a silly thing like breast size or some other way in which you stray from the cultural ideal, lucky you to have been forewarned. Like you highlighted, quality over quantity.

  28. ALL boobs have a place in the dating world and especially in the world of love. 🙂 I enjoyed this post.

  29. I see a connection between boob jobs and slut shaming. They both have more to do with females fighting among themselves in the dominance hierarchy than anything to do with men. Why do women wear makeup and men don’t? It’s not like men won’t sleep with you if you don’t wear it. Believe me, they will. Rather it’s about women looking in the mirror, thinking they don’t look as good as the woman next to them, and wanting to regain their place in the hierarchy.

    • Ah, there is a kernel of truth in there.

      One UCLA study found that women were much more judgmental about themselves than their partners were. Most women thought their breasts were inadequate but most men thought their partner’s breasts were just fine!

      (When most women are in bed feeling like their breasts are inadequate do you think these couple are having the best sex they could have? Everyone loses.)

      We live in a domination culture that teaches us to try to feel better than one another — which means others are taught to feel worse than one another. So yes, I have seen plenty of women play this game too. I’ve seen plenty of this sort of competition from women and men, alike.

      Since only a few end up at the top of of any pyramid, most of us are left feeling worse.

      That’s why I do my part to overcome domination cultures and promote partnership societies. Working to recognize the worth and dignity of us all.

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