Blog Archives

Men Enjoy Themselves When Women Do

Sasha Grey

Sasha Grey

A lot of women think that their partners’ enjoyment is more important than their own.

It’s likely unconscious. But you see it every time a young woman gets distracted, focusing on how she looks, or what he wants, and how he feels…

… while completely ignoring how SHE feels.

But men actually enjoy themselves more when their partners are enjoying themselves.  Read the rest of this entry

A Sex Object Not Enjoying Sex

body image poorIt’s not unusual these days for a young woman to become preoccupied with how attractive she looks, habitually seeing herself through her partner’s eyes, and judging herself based on what she thinks he thinks. In other words, to self-objectify.

Instead of enjoying sex.

I’ve talked with friends about the phenomenon and a couple of them have opened up and told me their stories. Like “Sophie,” who let me relate her story in my blog. Read the rest of this entry

Men’s Pleasure Is More Important?

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Many young women are now engaging in sex acts with men that prioritize the man’s pleasure, with little or no expectation of reciprocity.

So says cultural theorist Jackson Katz.

Sounds about right.

These young women are focused on how they look and what they do — and how their guys feel about how they look and what they do. Read the rest of this entry

Losing Virginity Is Good… No Biggie… Shameful

Artemis, the virgin goddess

Artemis, the virgin goddess

By Anna Oseguera 

About a year ago I was talking with a friend of mine, “Maria,” and the topic of sex and virginity came up. Maria said that when she was 18 years old a male friend of hers offered to “do her the favor” of taking her virginity.

That puzzled us. “Do her the favor” of taking her virginity?

Did he think that she couldn’t find anyone to have sex with because he thought she wasn’t attractive enough? And why would she want to lose her virginity, anyway? Isn’t virginity a good thing? Something to be saved until marriage? Read the rest of this entry

How To O0oooo

in bed and happyAfter lecturing on sexuality, from time to time a student will shyly approach me after class to say:

I don’t know how to have an orgasm. Do you have any resources to recommend?

Well, they used to approach me. Because now I include this information as part of the lecture. Read the rest of this entry

Beliefs That Disconnect Us From Our Hearts

Heart-connected lovers

Heart-connected lovers

By 

Nothing limits our ability to love and be loved, and to find joy and fulfillment more than the beliefs that disconnect us from our hearts. And, nowhere do these beliefs cause more limitations than in our sex lives. Read the rest of this entry

Women Are More “Visual” Than Men

Casual sex?

Casual sex?

They say “men are visual” but women are not.

After all, the “women’s magazine,” Playgirl went bankrupt even as sales for “men’s magazines” like Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, Barely Legal… were through the roof.

And men are much more likely to watch Internet porn.

Yet when it comes to visual stimulation and casual sex there is an irony, says one of my readers, Jean Claund: Read the rest of this entry

Asexual But (Sometimes) Romantic

AsexualityBy Trent Law

All my life sexuality has been like a joke I don’t understand.

I am asexual but demi-romantic.

That means I have no desire for sex but I do feel romantic attraction to people I form a bond with. Read the rest of this entry

I Like My Breasts. But I Like My Partner To Like ME, Too

470_2580418By Hannah Muric

I got breasts in fourth grade. And they have been the center of attention, ever since.

Now, all grown up, I have blossomed into a 32DDD. And since I am short and slim — 5’2″ and 115 lbs — they’re hard to hide.

I have no problem with my breasts. I like them. Yet from a young age I have worn baggy tops to minimize “the girls.”  Read the rest of this entry

Women & Male Nudity: Mixed Reactions

Sly Stallone

Sly Stallone

Women were pretty uncomfortable looking at nude males 12 years ago when sociologist, Beth Eck, sought out their reactions. Have attitudes changed since then?

I recently showed my women students a nude-ish picture of Sly Stallone (the same one Dr. Eck had used) and asked for their thoughts.

There’s still discomfort. But nowadays the reaction is more mixed.

Do women lust after nude guys?

Do women look upon the well-built Sly Stallone with lust? Read the rest of this entry