Women Are More “Visual” Than Men
They say “men are visual” but women are not.
After all, the “women’s magazine,” Playgirl went bankrupt even as sales for “men’s magazines” like Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, Barely Legal… were through the roof.
And men are much more likely to watch Internet porn.
Yet when it comes to visual stimulation and casual sex there is an irony, says one of my readers, Jean Claund:
We say that men care about looks but that women don’t really care. But when it’s about causal sex it’s actually the other way around.
Men are so eager to have sex that they are happy with “whatever they can get.”
But women won’t usually have casual sex unless the guy’s pretty attractive.
Research says he’s right.
With casual sex, women can be more visual
How much sex a woman has is not related to how attractive she is, say sociologists, Jeremy Uecker and Mark Regnerus in their book, Premarital Sex in America.
Or, in a couple of different studies women were either approached by strangers with offers for casual sex, or were given various scenarios of men offering casual sex. Either way, things turned out the same.
All sorts of factors were considered: assumed sexual capability, status, warmth, faithfulness, likely gift-giving. Or worries about danger, STDs or mental illness.
Nothing much affected female desire other than worries about violence or, most especially, sexual capability.
If a man seemed both sexy and nonviolent — think Johnny Depp or Brad Pit — then YES!!! women were VERY interested.
Which sex is more visual, then?
So which sex is more visual? It depends.
Men are more visual when it comes to pornography. But then, women’s bodies are more eroticized and fetishized.
We are bombarded by sexy women’s bodies from practically the time we are born. The camera hones in on women’s breasts and butts. And women’s breasts and butts are selectively hidden and revealed, creating mystery and sexual tension.
We pretty much ignore male bods. (That’s just starting to change.)
But what about women? Why are they so visually picky when it comes to casual sex?
Evolutionary psychology says men are naturally promiscuous and women are naturally monogamous since men have a lot of sperm to spread willy nilly, but women have a small number of babies (leaving them more picky).
Yet women aren’t so picky in every society. Must be something else, then.
Our culture strongly represses women’s sexuality via slut-shaming, which can get so bad that some girls commit suicide, or think about it. So a lot of women dampen down their sexual feelings to protect themselves. When you constantly do that, sexual interest begins to fade on its own — helping to explain why nearly half of American women have low sexual interest.
When you have low sexual interest, it takes a lot to get excited. Like a super hot guy for casual sex. Or feeling in love with someone who may not be so superhot — partly explaining why women are more likely than men to have no interest in sex at all unless there is a strong emotional connection.