Category Archives: sex

Yes means Yes: Consent is sexy

consent is sexySuppose someone you know slightly arrives at your home, baggage and all, and just barges in and stays overnight. When you protest, the response is, “Well, you didn’t say no.”

Or imagine that a man breaks into your home while you sleep off a night of drunken revelry, and robs you blind. Did your drinking imply consent?

No.

Yet a lot of people think it’s okay to enter a woman’s body when she hasn’t said she would like that.  Read the rest of this entry

Be… But Don’t Be… Pretty, Girly, Sexy

The sexual double-bind: damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The sexual double-bind: damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

By Caitie Adler

In my kindergarten mind girls were beautiful and boys were tough. And since girls were beautiful, I was beautiful.

By middle school things looked a lot more complicated.

I’d learned that girls should be pretty. And I tried to be. But there was a downside.  Read the rest of this entry

Sex Is Best When She Likes It

When Sally faked it

When Sally faked it

By “Sex Ain’t No Game

It’s hard to have a sexual relationship with someone who won’t accept the concept of mutual pleasure.

Here’s an anecdote containing way too much information:

Considering the tools my current girlfriend and I have, and how fit we are, sex should be easy for both of us to enjoy. And when we began the sexual part of our relationship — both of us being fairly new to it — we learned what the other liked fast.

But it changed a few months back.

It seems she’s done research in pornography, and for the past couple of months she does things she thinks girls do all the time during sex. Like incredibly loud moaning from the second we start making out. It starts abruptly, so it doesn’t seem like a natural progression.

Long story short, she ignores her own desire and focuses on mine.  Read the rest of this entry

When We Don’t Teach Boys About Sex

A shaming sexual culture

A shaming sexual culture

By Jayson Gaddis @ The Good Men Project

To not teach children about the sacredness of their bodies and their sexuality is one of the CORE abandonments of our time. This post is about the mess we are in around male sexuality. I am here to name it and simply put it in the open for all of us to see.

I received ZERO training around sex or my body until age 34. None. Fortunately for me, I now have excellent mentors and friends who are helping me grow up my sexuality and dive into its headwaters with open arms. But it was almost too late. Read the rest of this entry

Nude Men Seem Less Intelligent

Justin Timberlake, showing some skin

Justin Timberlake, showing some skin

The more skin women reveal, the less men see them as intelligent or empowered.

Instead, nudity promotes the notion that women are sensitive, “feeling” creatures.

Turns out the perception runs both ways with women seeing men as less intelligent and less competent when they show skin, too. In fact, simply “taking off a sweater — or otherwise revealing flesh — can significantly change the way a mind is perceived” say researchers.

And as psychologist, Kurt Gray of the University of Maryland observed: Read the rest of this entry

Do better looking people have better personalities?

Beauty: Just skin deep

Beauty: Just skin deep

By Lisa Wade, PhD @ Sociological Images

Do better looking people have better personalities?

People seem to think so.

At one time OkCupid gave users the opportunity to rate each other twice: once for personality and once for looks.  The two were strikingly correlated. Read the rest of this entry

Men: More Likely to Separate Love & Sex?

sex v love

sex v love

Men are more likely than women to separate love and sex, right?

Men are more interested in no-strings sex, and they are less likely to be distressed the next day.

A while back a New York Times piece advocating open relationships discussed how it’s typically easier for gay men, compared with straight or lesbian couples, to open their relationships — for that reason.

But is it true?  Read the rest of this entry

Men Have Torpedos; Women Have “No-No’s”

A Rhetorische Torpedo

A Rhetorische Torpedo

By Raissa Mbassa

Have you ever thought about slang for our privates?

Some of my guy friends call theirs a “pocket rocket” or a “torpedo.”

Let’s see, a rocket is an incendiary weapon, while a torpedo is a tube-shaped bomb that’s fired underwater. Both cause tremendous destruction to whatever they’re aimed at.

It’s all painted in glorification. Victory. A magic stick of supernatural powers. A man’s best friend.  Read the rest of this entry

Guys Just Want One Thing

Guys want just one thing?Guys just want one thing.

The belief is so widespread that we needn’t say what the one thing is.

Yet the truism isn’t true.

You may have heard that since there are more women than men on college campuses these days, women are pressured to do sex the way men like it: No strings attached.  Read the rest of this entry

Shackling elephants is sad. Shackling women is hot.

The PETA ad below deplores cruelty to elephants.

Yet cruelty to women seems okay.

PETA: cruelty to women vs animals

PETA: cruelty to women vs animals

Animal cruelty depresses me and creates a lot of anxiety. So I’m with PETA on that.

But their advertising often troubles me.  Read the rest of this entry

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