Category Archives: sex

Libido Killer: My Man Ogling Her

oglerYears ago I briefly dated a guy who ogled other women.

Ogle: To look at amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently; to eye; look or stare at.

I “get” noticing and appreciating an attractive gal. But he dissolved into her. The many hers. While I faded away.

He thought I was weird: “Most girlfriends wouldn’t mind!”

But it was a huge turnoff. Read the rest of this entry

Chimp Study: Assault Aids Procreation?

Mean chimps

Mean chimps

Violence against women may aid procreation?

Some evolutionary psychologists actually think so.

After all, mean male chimps sire more offspring than their friendlier brothers, an Arizona State study findsRead the rest of this entry

How to Deal with Repression

shame2Repression is not what you might think it is. I recently wrote:

A lot of us think it’s about working to suppress sexual desire. And while the early stages can be at least partly conscious, after a while you’re not actively blocking anything. You’ve simply lost sexual feelings and energy. Plus, plenty of punishing messages targeted at women’s desire get internalized. And sex is too often used as a weapon. Read the rest of this entry

Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze

Della Calfee. Ass Like That

Della Calfee. Ass Like That

Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.

That’s what art critic John Berger famously observed.

But some feminist artists have turned the tables in the exhibit, Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze:

With a gallery filled with men stripped naked this body of work exposes women’s cheeky, provocative and sometimes shocking commentaries on the opposite sex (which) may make the viewer squirm a little. But that is precisely the point.

Read the rest of this entry

A Sexy Halloween for Grade Schoolers?

Check out the change in Halloween costumes over the years. Girls are learning that a big part of their job is to look sexy. And they’re getting that message at a tender age.

Now that’s scary!

Then and now images, via Sociological Images:

Halloween Costumes, Then and Now 1 Read the rest of this entry

Repression: Not What You Think It Is

A culture of sexual repression

A culture of sexual repression

Misconceptions surround sexual repression. And both women and men can be confused.

Some women feel insulted if anyone suggests they might be repressed.

And conversations with guys have made me realize that plenty of them think that repression means, “I really want to have sex with you but I’m going to consciously repress the idea.”

Repression isn’t quite like that.  Read the rest of this entry

My Polyamory Journey

Polyamory 1By William Albert Baldwin

A few weeks ago, a woman invited me to her apartment, then proceeded to interview me for the role of her boyfriend/
lover/escort.

Since I write about polyamorous relationships and since I list myself as “in an open relationship” on Facebook, she figured I must be “available.”

Besides, I’m a guy; aren’t guys always ready for a willing woman?

In short: No. Read the rest of this entry

My Bumpy Trek: From Tomboy to Sex Object to Me

Bullying pretty girls

Bullying pretty girls

By KEG

As a little girl I wanted to be a boy. As a teen I wanted to be a Cosmo Girl.

I got punished either way.

Sometimes so badly that I stopped eating and started hiding and cutting.

Many scrapes and bruises later, I’m glad to be me. Read the rest of this entry

Guys and Dolls (Literally)

Guys will do anything for the dolls they love, declare Nicely and Benny in the musical, “Guys and Dolls.”

But the video below suggests guys may someday do anything TO the dolls they love. Literal, robotic ones.

I wonder how satisfying it will be. Read the rest of this entry

When Sex = Disempowerment 

Leaking selfies

Leaking selfies

Guys post stolen nude photos of famous celebs online, and it’s all about sex, right?

Men stare at women walking down the street. That’s all about sex, too.

Or, a woman is blamed for an attack because a guy can’t resist exposed cleavage — or a bit of hair that has fallen loose from a Saudi veil.

Actually, a lot of things that look like sex are really about power.  Read the rest of this entry

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