Guys, Girls Swap Roles at a Bar
Men ordering Raspberry Kamikazes at a bar as women make passes — and get shut down? This bit of videoed role swapping went viral.
The reel holds stereotypes but even they can contain kernels of truth. And anything that moves us out of our taken-for-granted ways sheds light.
Outside the video real women can order any sort of drink they want, but guys had better keep to manly brews or risk scorn. So in that way women have a bit more freedom.
But a freedom that is gained by ranking men over women. If women order manly drinks they aren’t lowering themselves, but when men order girly drinks they are. (Even the terms “manly” and “girly” are charged.)
Meanwhile, both sexes seem to think the other has more power. Probably because we get frustrated when we don’t have it.
Men have the power to assert themselves. They needn’t wait around to be asked. And if they want sex, well, that’s expected. But women must wait to be asked. And they may worry about reputations, leaving them more shamed and less sexually expressed. Repression lowers sex drive, too, lending women the passive power to care less. And whoever cares less has more power. But here, only with a sacrifice of sexual pleasure.
In the video all is topsy-turvy. Girls try to cut in and dance with guys who are dancing with each other — and get shafted. They intrude into private conversations and get spurned. Polite men utter, “Not now please.” Others are less civil.
The message can come across: “You’re not good enough.” It can be tough on a gal.
But it’s tough for guys too. An annoying girl moans, “Those are amazing jeans. They’d look so much better on my bedroom floor.”
A girl spies a guy in an unbuttoned button-down and beckons, “Hey, I like your necklace. Is that the key to your heart? … Don’t button it up! Oh, come on!”
Male objectification may be paired with assault as women grab men’s butts or pressure them to drink shots to lower their resistance.
Guys who want sex must face the repercussions of, “good guys don’t.” The next morning a young man fumbles for his clothes as the woman he has slept with cool-confidently asks if she should call him a cab. Embarrassed, he sneaks away in shame.
As Joanna Schroeder over at The Good Men Project observes,
(When the tables are turned it all) seems so much more rude, more intrusive, more exclusive, more violent, sillier or more intimidating.
But with this new slant, maybe we can all gain a bit more understanding and empathy.
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Posted on November 27, 2017, in gender and tagged gender flipping, Girls Swap Roles at a Bar, Guys. Bookmark the permalink. 76 Comments.
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When reversing the roles between women and men we can really see how ridiculous gender stereotypes are. From the beginning of the video we see the women trying to enter the club, but cannot because of the quota of men and women they are keeping in place. It’s so common to see in our society, but when reversing roles we see how the club is capitalizing off making men a commodity. The club is ensuring there is enough men for the women, as if the goal is that every women will have the opportunity to take one of these men home. This post highlights the norm around sexual harassment in a setting that is alcohol fueled. The scene were we see the woman grab the man’s butt is such a common thing that happens to women in these settings, and men usually don’t face any consequences. This video does highlight the inequality of treatment of women and men at clubs sure women don’t have to face the long lines and get drinks sometimes for free but that doesn’t come at a fair price. Before going out I know as a woman I always make sure not to get too drunk, to always have a group with me, to have a bathroom buddy system going, and to always watch my drink. Do men think about these things before a night out ? When we continue these stereotypes without thinking of the further implications we create a situation that continually puts women at risk.
I found this video entertaining and a little disturbing seeing the roles switched. When the roles are reversed you can really see things from the other side’s perspective. It really portrays how uncomfortable women can feel when a man hits on them at the club. When the girl asks “is that necklace the key to your heart” and the guy buttons up his shirt you can really see how disrespectful that is. When seeing a girl act the stereotypical male’s part it can be seen as humorous, but sadly this does happen. Clearly, that line would never work and I doubt if either gender used that line it would succeed. Do people actually expect people to flash for them or pose if they say that? The girl had no reason to make that remark and she ended up driving the guy away. Hopefully after seeing this video people can see how ridiculous they look and changed their methods for picking up women.
This blog posting and video are something that has come to my mind very often. My thought was what if women and men’s roles were revered at a typical college party, but I think that switching roles at a bar also would prove to have a similar result in a similar situation. I do think the pressure to order drinks that are not “sweet” and “girly” is existent, and would not be if roles were reversed. The really interesting thing to me would be seeing the shift in power. Men usually attempt to dominate conversation and win girls over by asserting themselves. For that reason, men can sometimes come off as being creepy or too pushy. To switch this role would cause a lot of change in the bar and party scene, with women facing less pressure to let the guys start the conversations. I personally enjoy not feeling the pressure to make “the first move” and would rather have a conversation be mutual and natural. It was cool to see the role reversal and I hope that society moves away from this standard culture.
This video, while funny, was also enlightening. It is a parody on stereotypical gender roles while shedding some light on uncomfortable and disrespectful behaviors. This was a great way to showcase the experience that each gender has when socially interacting with each other. I think it is safe to say that (1) we need to be kinder to each other and (2) women are completely disrespected in these situations – the example in the video of the woman encouraging a man to cheat on his girlfriend or men not leaving a table of women alone, in a sense harassing them. Likewise, the women who rudely push away men from dancing and the stereotype that men can only drink hard liquor and beer, need to change. As a woman, I enjoy a glass of scotch or even a glass of beer and I do not feel limited to only drinking “girly” drinks; men should not feel the pressure to conform to gender stereotypes either.
I sincerely enjoyed watching this video. It has been years since I have stepped foot into a nightclub but watching this video took me down memory lane. Most scenarios were somewhat accurate starting with the line outside the club. As a woman, I can’t recall a time when my girlfriends and I had to wait in line so in that aspect women have an advantage. However, when it comes to men buying women drinks, I have always thought of it to be a good thing. Offering a woman a drink was a good indication that a guy might be interested in you and offering a drink is usually an approach used by men to strike up a conversation with someone else. Granted some men have been known to take it a little too far and feel a sense of temporary ownership when he buys a woman a drink but that is better than a woman trying to hustle a man into buying her and all her friends’ drinks. Needless to say, a lot of things have changed since apps like “Tinder” have erupted. With apps like “Tinder,” people are finding alternative ways to meet other people and the club scene along with the awkward social interactions that come with the club experience will soon be a thing of the past.
I’m glad you enjoyed the video.
The hilarity in this video comes from just how accurate it is. Although yes, there are benefits to being a woman in this scenario, such as potential free drinks if you choose to accept them, in my opinion, in no way does that offset the objectification and harassment that comes along with it. Amplified by a mixture of alcohol and peer influence, I have witnessed far too many men in bars act outright primitive around women. I’ve found that men are actually way less obnoxious when they come up to you alone rather than with a group of friends. Well, most of the time. It irks me that men in bar settings feel as though by buying a girl a drink or even by simply offering, that purchases the woman as their property for the time being if not the entire night. Whether it escalates to unwarranted touching or simply uninvited stares and lingering, harassment is harassment, and men need to become more familiar with just how their actions, drunk or not, make women feel.
This video is very interesting, the video is showing how a man acts toward a woman when he has had a little to much to drink. it also shows how the lady is in a bar setting, when this is happening. Honestly, to the men who do this at bars, it shows how ridiculous they look, trying to get a girl’s attention while drunk. From a girl’s point of view, it’s really irritating and disgusting at how men act when they are at bars, to the groping to the cat calling. I am not old enough to drink yet but I do know that certain drinks are for certain genders. From personal observance, I have never seen a man pick up a glass of wine without a woman offering. It is always something hard and dark like Hennessy or fireball. Looking back at it, does certain drinks make a man more masculine to feminine, and why does it matter ?
This was a very intriguing video to watch! It was really interesting to see all of the double standards, social expectations and the reality of the difference in behaviour between men and women. I like this video because if you were to show a similar video just with the roles as usual to men I feel like they would be able to deny the behaviour is outrageous but for some reason, by replacing the men with women I feel it could be so much clearer for men to see how sometimes their actions/words can be so ridiculous and how they make women feel. In real life, if women acted like this in a bar to men I 100% think the men would just laugh at the women or just take the women’s bold interest in them as a queue that they were easily getting lucky that night. This video really exposes the truth in society that men are created the dominant gender while women are seen as the submissive gender and that it can be a very difficult thing to confront as a woman with so many men thinking they have some kind of right to be dominant and to do so by disrespectfully sexualizing women.
It is also interesting to think about the fact that many dating movies often hook the guys by teaching women to make bold comments like some of the ones men usually would like in the video or to show no interest/ attachment. I think a lot of men act this way in today’s society out of insecurity, to be honest, and I think being edgy or disrespectful I guess you could call it in many cases is a means of showing off in a social setting to seem cool and for some reason, this attracts women too.
When I watch the video, three words come to mind that the women in the video express which females typically do not. Confidence, boldness, and comfort. The Big one is comfort, and it is the reason existence for females is the way it is. In the video, the men are not a threat to the women, but instead the other way around. Sure, the women care less about the relationship so it gives them more power in that way, but men are still a physical threat to every woman in the real world. Especially strangers. I once heard a speaker say, “The number one risk for men is heart disease, the number one risk for women is men.” We live in a world with a long history of misogyny and violence toward women, and men usually have the physical advantage making every man a potential threat. I also think it is important to note that even if a woman trusts a man not to hurt her, that doesn’t realistically lower his threat level. It simply means the woman does not think it will happen. But anyone can snap, and if they are a stranger, you can never really know. Anyway, the main reason women do not act confidently or speak boldly in real life as they do in the video is because they do not feel completely comfortable or safe around men- potential threats. In the video, the attributed threat of men is placed onto the women, therefore making the men in the video feel uncomfortable influencing them to alter their behavior. If violence against women wasn’t as common as it is, maybe women would begin to feel comfortable in public scenarios where they could make a pass at a man with only rejection being the worst possible outcome.
Guys, Girls Swaping Roles at a Bar: It can be interesting to flip gender roles in a bar setting, to see what it might be like if women had to buy men drinks or if men had to find ways to shut down unwanted advances. But it is perhaps more productive to examine how these gendered dating roles developed in the first place. While the appearance of american dating has changed dramatically throughout time, the underlying cause of this conflict has been the same: sex and money.
There is a joke in the gender swap video where a young pushy woman tries to buy a drink for a couple of men talking among themselves. The men (visibly irritated) reply that they would be interested if the woman might buy drinks for their friends to. This is a reversal of the “normal” (and in many ways stereotypical) gender roles where the women are dealing with aggressive sexual attention and the men are footing the bill. The man has power because he has easier access to disposable income, and the woman has power because she has easier access to casual sex. This imbalance existed in the same form in the late 1800s. According to a vox video titled “How the economy shapes our love lives,” women accepted male visitors into their home in a process called calling. While the ritual was defined by complicated etiquette, familial oversight, and sexual repression the power conflict was the same. Men had access to money and were looking for a woman capable of sex and child rearing. Women had access to potential husbands (sexual partners) and were looking for a man who could provide financially.
The look of dating changed with the industrial revolution when some members of both sexes decided to move to the city and acquired easier access to work and disposable income. However, Men had a considerably higher income than their female counterparts. While that gap has narrowed it exists to this day (“The Simple Truth about the Gender Pay Gap). This shift linked dating in a more obvious way to consumerism. Bars, restaurants, drive ins, and clubs became the social scene for finding a sexual partner, with the cost of entry being the ability to spend money on food and drink. This set the stage for the awkward and problematic way in which men and women approach each other. This uncomfortable relationship is the subject of the gender swap video. Men have economic leverage. Women have sexual leverage. Therefore if American society wishes to make dating culture more equal it must first deal with money. Women must have equal opportunity to earn extra cash, and people must find dating spaces which are not tied to spending money.
Works Cited
Peterson, Dean. “How the Economy Shapes Our Love Lives.” Vox, Vox, 23 Feb. 2018, http://www.vox.com/videos/2018/2/23/17041588/dating-economy-love-lives-online-dating.
Loontoot. “What If Guys and Girls Swapped Roles at the Bar?” YouTube, YouTube, 4 Dec. 2012, http://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=5&v=phynkmB5xEU.
“The Simple Truth about the Gender Pay Gap.” AAUW: Empowering Women Since 1881, http://www.aauw.org/research/the-simple-truth-about-the-gender-pay-gap/
This video is really interesting. It’s much more clear and obvious how out of place it is because this is never the case. In real life, it’s much more common to see this the other way around (which I know is their point). It forces you to see women as powerful and men as weak and it’s really interesting because you never usually see men act this way. This, I think, shows how much gender roles play a part in our lives. “Fruity girl drinks” are much tastier and get you much drunker than the typical “masculine” drinks like beer, and yet men typically are afraid to order them. In this skit, we see the reverse. But this shows how ridiculous gender roles are that they even impact such small things such as what we allow ourselves to drink. The other part that really stood out to me was the two men dancing together, another thing that is typically not seen. This is because gender roles would find this too close to being “effeminate”. And men would be worried about seeming gay. However, in this skit, the men are super comfortable dancing together as male friends. It’s sad to think that we deny ourselves certain joys because they interfere with our gender roles and that we allow ourselves to treat others poorly as if they are objects because of them.
Wow! What an eye opening post. Watching the video made me uncomfortable, laugh, and felt familiar. It amazes me how socially constructed gender roles are and how the expectations remain. Why is it that men and women are put into these very different boxes when we’re really not that different in the grand scheme of things? To see a woman approaching a man with a beer in her hand while he’s sipping a drink out of a straw seems strange but I’m bothered by myself that it seems strange because why can’t that be the norm? Why is it strange? I also love the fact that this video puts into perspective what it feels like from the other side (gender). It’s annoying and rude to have abrasive, pushy people up in your business or interrupting your night out… regardless if it’s a man or a woman so maybe in some way this video can help both men and women realize what it’s like and how to improve. I also think its weird how a club or night out setting seems to bring about these types of behavior more easily. The eagerness and inability to take a hint as well as the wariness of dismissing someone and being out right rude to them. I know I’ve done it at clubs and I always think if that were to happen somewhere else I probably wouldn’t have been so rude and blunt about not being interested and wanting men to go away but then again I have a hard time imagining men would approach women with the expectations they do in a night club/drinking setting as they would in a different setting so maybe each gender would behave differently. Just a thought.
This role reversal is an all too common with people, the nudge that if the roles were reversed you’d think differently. The part in this blog that hits me the most is when they mention how each gender believes the other to have more power, or is this because we don’t have the power the other has? I believe this statement to be the most true because, as we see with the video, each gender has an expectation of what will happen. While some comparisons are worse compared, it still shows that each gender put each other into these situations. While men think they need to prove their dominance so they grab a women where a women wants to show her power she turns a man down in a rude way. Neither altercation wanted but both accepted. To fully see each other as equal we have to begin to treat each other with mutual respect and put ourselves into the others perspectives.
I think that role reversal is a really great way to help men and women see the other’s view and understand their experience. My experience going to clubs with my girlfriends has always been the stereotypical experience: women get in more easily than men and don’t have to pay cover charges, men offer to buy girls drinks, and, my biggest pet peeve at a club, guys trying to dance up on you without asking and sometimes without you even noticing them until your friends see it and pull you away!!! I am so disgusted when that happens. I think that men should be more respectful of women in bars and clubs, and there are stereotypes that need to be broken down and changed. And that includes negative stereotypes on men, such as that they can’t drink fruity drinks or they are not “manly”.
The video of swaying gender roles at the bar is pretty eye opening. I can see why the video received so many views. Seeing this line of women at the door was hilarious. When we went to the clubs in Vegas, there was always a long line of men waiting to get in, but girls were extremely easy to get in. The reason behind this is because club owners want their clubs to look like there’s more ladies there than men. This brings us back to men sexualizing women, treating them as objects for their uses, in this case, to promote the club. Women are valued for their appearances and, thus, rewarded for reduced entrance fees and quick entry at these clubs. Vegas also has a very strict dress code, enforcing formal wear head to toe, no tennis shoes, and women are expected to wear sexy clothing and refrain from wearing flats. The dress code is ridiculous and sends the wrong message for women. Women are expected to look sexy and are programmed to think that dressing the part will get them to where they want to be, whether that be in the club and free drinks to getting advancements in their careers and safety from their peers.
Watching the video was so interesting. You don’t really realize how much women are objectified and annoyed until the roles are reversed. This post brought to light the very gendered society we live in today. Where there are clear gender roles and when someone goes outside that norm it is very obvious and looked down upon. Such as ordering a “girly” drink. I hope that our society does learn and except that times are changing however, it is already 2018 and it still seems like we haven’t come that far yet (which is sad). This video also brought to light some of the many things that happen on a daily basis. People need to realize that not everyone goes out to hook up with another person or to just have sex. Believe it or not some people just go out to have a good time with their friends. Most importantly, women do not go out and ask to be objectified, touched, or harassed. It is important to always show respect to people because you don’t know what they have been through or what they have going on in their lives. Also, men can be objectified and harassed as well. Although the majority of these instances do happen to women, it is just as likely that men go through similar situations. I just had a conversation with one of my best guy friends and he was telling me about a time he was at a bar and a girl approached him, clearly intoxicated, tried hitting on him, and then licked his neck. He was disgusted and told her he had to go get some pizza and left. The story sounds a little funny (because of our gendered norms) and he was laughing while telling me because he was in shock that it actually happened to him, but these types of things happen all the time. Although it could be a funny story to tell it doesn’t make it okay that it happened. And it could, in fact, happen to anyone regardless of gender.
I found it interesting that swapping the roles in this video made it easier to see the qualities we believe which are “typically” masculine and how we are conditioned to accept them as things that men do. That being said, I also found it scary how close to reality some of the things the women in the video were saying, of course in my experience those lines have come from men. The video is important, not because this is a world that feminists dream of, no one should be objectified and constantly bothered when trying to have a fun night out. Rather, the video is important because it finally brings to light some of the things that are considered acceptable by society, but highlighting how being put in such a situation is awkward, uncomfortable, and stressful. People should be able to go out to a bar with their friends without having to worry about being bothered all night by a guy who wants to take you home. Yet, I have to say that everytime I go to the bars with my friends, this is something in the back of my mind: “Oh boy, I have to deal with guys who won’t leave me alone.” I understand that bars are a place where people meet and sometimes look for girls to hook up with. However, I think the lesson that should be learned from the video is you shouldn’t just assume that is what everyone wants. If someone is making excuses to get away from the situation like, “I should probably get going,” or “We were just trying to catch up,” understand that they are just saying “Please leave,” in a more polite way. I think people need to start realizing that women don’t owe them anything, including sex, time which they are trying to spend with their friend, or a conversation. If the body language and general vibe of a woman tells you she’s uncomfortable, you should probably just walk away!
I think these type of videos are important, as most people never really stop to think of the differences in our society when comparing men and women. I believe gender differences are socially constructed, and so although many people might find this video kind of silly, it would be interesting to have a mindset where any gender roles would be considered silly.
This video is important to show people how silly it is to expect something from a certain gender. The fact that girls must act a certain way when going out, or men have to order a manly drink or else they’ll be teased about it, is something to really dwell on.
I mean seriously, a man can’t order some margarita because of what society will say? I mean who said he can’t, or is not allowed? Our society?! I mean how stupid is that? Why can’t the man order whatever the heck he wants to drink, after all he is the one who is going to drink it right?
I think that as a society we should always try to test people and the social constructions we live in, but going against what most people would call “normal” or “correct.” Too many times, we are trying to fit in, but I think it is very important to push those limits/boundaries and try to stand out and question all social constructions.
This video covers stereotypes of men and women from the very beginning to the very end, filling every second. Not that I am encouraging these stereotypes but they do, as mentioned in this blog, “contain kernels of truth.” Actually, having switched these roles shed a light on the different experiences men and women may have at a bar. But what causes them?
If we’re all so hung up on seeing the other sex have this “power” then why can’t we change these social constructs people have? I think it’s mainly because they’ve been implemented from the “beginning”, people have this idea that women are ranked below men, according to “Women’s Realities, Women’s Choices,” this belief is interpreted in many “written text, paintings, literature, dance, clothing, gestures”, etc. Women are seen as the weaker sex and men as a stronger sex and it continues as the media continues to portray these images where we should be socially constructed to all act one certain way according to our gender. But this goes to show that we should not be conformed to a social standard because of our gender, and hopefully, we will gain understanding and empathy as time passes.
It’s very silly that we have drinks for men and drinks for women, yet I somehow find myself sticking to the so-called “men’s” drinks when ordering something at a bar while I’m out with friends. In my mind I’m ordering for taste, but I believe there’s also a bit of not wanting to be judged on my drink order. On the other hand, one of my most successful male friends enjoys “girly” drinks and is not afraid to order and drink them in public. In fact, it has been a great conversation starter in many situations and seems to make him appear more innocent and less “predatorish”. And while this video might be a little exaggerated, it doesn’t seem too far off from the truth. It’s great to see a video like this put out there for people to see because it puts a spin on the roles seen in bars and uses humor to show in a light-hearted way how awful some men can be in a bar setting.
Interesting. Your comment might inspire a blog post Some day. I hope you don’t mind if I quote you.
The things that occur in the video linked are unfortunate incidents that happen inside a bar — pumped up on alcohol, loud party music, and lust, people tend to forget human decency in place of hunting down potential sexual partners like a predator stalking its prey. In reality, the role of the “predator” often falls into the man’s hands as he approaches a woman — maybe several, if he’s fairly unlucky — and tries to entice her with backhanded compliments. If both parties are interested, they may engage in sexual intercourse, much like what happens in the video. In the video, it is the man who experiences the “walk of shame” — but in reality, men almost never have to endure feeling judged after having sex with someone. This double standard still exists today, where men having sexual conquests are treated as achievements, while women are shamed for being as sexually promiscuous.
I feel that this video was great at swapping these roles and bringing awareness to them. I have been to many bars and witnessed behavior like this first hand. This is partially what makes this video so funny to me as well. Everything about it seemed so familiar. Of course, not all men and women aren’t like this but there are some that do. I could not help but relate to the portion that explained the “manly” drinks. I am a guy that loves a margarita every now and then. Something about the lemon and salt. If I am to order this drink with my guy friends, I am made fun of. Jokes fly and next thing you know I am ordering a beer for my next drink.
As someone who works in a bar and a nightclub, I’ve witnessed and even experienced problematic men giving women inappropriate attention they don’t want and vice versa. I’ve even seen men get sexually harassed by women as well in nightlife and observed how uncomfortable these men were when the roles switch. But with some men, a shot of confidence from alcohol, this boosts their self-confidence, their ego, or just a show their friends “who’s the man?” by seeing who can pick up women. These men are seeking attention. Women are sexually harassed by these types of men more often in closed spaces or dark places. In some situations, when rejected they get aggressive and angry.
If these men and women, switched roles, maybe they’d behave differently and realize how uncomfortable and unsafe they can be making women feel and how inappropriate it also is. Also, some people can behave very creepily (men and women).
In reality, women are not timid or “shy”– at least not all. I’ve seen these type of men and women back off once they realize that the person has a backbone. When girls just want to have fun and when boys just want to have fun – it’s important to keep in mind to be respectful of personal space and to not be creepy and aggressive when rejected.
I thought this was a cute video, but I wasn’t surprised to see that most of the crew for this short had male names. There are a lot of things that go into a typical night out for women, that are a huge part of the experience for women, that many men don’t notice, for instance: choosing clothes. Club clothes and day clothes are often the same for me, if they work at a casual workspace. Club wear for women, on the other hand, is often wildly different than day/work clothes. This contrast was particularly stark at the end of the clip when the male actor did a “walk of shame”–There’s nothing particular about a white tank top, button-up shirt, loose jeans, and dark sneakers that indicate the wearer is coming home from a night out. On the other hand, tight dresses, sparkly accessories and stiletto heels are extremely distinctive nightwear. The act of getting ready for a club is often a big part of the club experience itself for women, so is bonding with other women about clothes and fashion, and so is figuring out how everyone is getting home safely. If women go with a friend to a big city bar that has lots of strangers, I think a lot (or most?) of us would want to stay nearby our visibly inebriated friend surrounded by strange men out of caution for for her safety, rather than ditch her to avoid getting sucked into the debauchery or to have sex.
Okay, wait!!! I think I enjoyed and laughed at this video way more than I should have. I just think it was amazing to see how the gender roles were swapped and how much things had become awkward. Some women, probably many of them, find that the way men hit on them, extremely disrespectful. I can only speak for myself but I don’t find men to be that offensive when trying to talk to a woman or get them home, maybe because I’m pretty easy going and I find it funny. Men think women are stuck-up and sometimes women can be, I don’t think there’s a valid reason to just treat someone like crap because you are a woman. I understand that women feel like men have these certain privileges and roles that they play, and are usually to get away with how they ace because that attitude is expected of them but as a woman, I will say there are privileges that we also have, whether we want to admit or not. I see it all the time. Women think they have the ultimate right to diss and lay off men because they are women. Some women actually won’t give a guy a chance just because she knows that she has the right to have out of the blue stinky attitude because why, it’s normal and it’s expected of her. I personally think that we should just drop the norms and do our own thing. Men don’t and shouldn’t be so aggressive and women shouldn’t have such bad attitudes every time a dude tries to approach them. Overall, the video was cool. It was great to see how men can sometimes come on to women too strong, through women coming on to men too strong. This was acting, so I don’t know if the situation would really happen like that in real life.
In my opinion, this video does a good job at displaying the general experiences of each gender as it’s switched. The discomfort women feel when men start dancing on them, as well as the irritation when being approached when there is no intention of meeting anyone new, and much more. These are things women have to deal with in many environments, not just bars. I do find it upsetting however, that in order for some to realize the discomfort in situations like this, the roles have to be switched. The female voice does not seem to be enough for society to believe the unfairness we experience in terms of the treatment we receive in public. I was once waiting to be picked up from school my senior year of high school on a hot day. I was wearing a halter top and short shorts, as I was waiting, two boys in a car were driving past me, stopped their car, and were staring holes into me, expecting me to smile or say something to them. For my response, I glared at them and said nothing. When they saw this they called me a slut and drove off. On multiple occasions at the gym, I am treated as if I am either a piece of meat by being stared at by men twice my age, or as if I am taking up space that the men could be using. The most disturbing interaction I have faced (and am still dealing with now), is with a man at the gym who, whenever he sees me, comes into my personal space and tries to talk to me. I, visibly uncomfortable, attempt to politely say hello and walk away as fast as possible without running. Whenever I pass by, I catch him staring at me like I am his prey and he does not care whether I’m by myself or am with my mom, but unfortunately because he has not physically done anything, I can’t make a formal complaint to management in order for them to do anything. Situations like this make me wonder if things were reversed, would there be more focus on problems like these happen.
Wow, this post is so relatable! I have experienced every single one of these scenarios but never looked at the behavior as anything out of the ordinary. However, watching it as the roles are reversed, it shows how inappropriate and rude it actually is. Society accepts aggressive behavior from men as the norm while women are expected to tolerate it. I think we are a long way away from total equality, however I think we will get there. An example that immediately comes to mind are dating apps that almost everyone uses these days. There are certain apps that are set up so that the woman has to be the first to initiate contact. This is very different from how most of us, and generations before us, have been used to dating. As this becomes more mainstream, I think eventually the line between gender roles will continue to decrease and become more faint.
I found this video to be both humorous and disturbing. When a girl acts in the manner that a man supposedly would at a bar, her actions come across and downright creepy and disturbing. However, when men exhibit this behavior, it is considered normal, which is very wrong. I think this video uncovers the problem with the way in which men interact with women. It is considered “normal” when men have this aggressive behavior in public, but as this video shows, when the woman is the aggressive one, it appears unacceptable and very wrong. Men do not get punished for acting this way in public because society has deemed this behavior as acceptable because men are the ones with power. This is something that must change.
In another aspect, this video reminds me of a time I tried to make a move on a guy. I casually gave him my phone number; it was in no way aggressive and I did it in a way that was still very feminine. However, he still seemed taken aback by this and was totally shocked by my actions. It shows how men are still expected to make all the moves when it comes to dating and relationships, just like how the women and their aggressive behavior in this video seem very out of place.
I found this video fascinating because I don’t think that I will ever experience this version of gender roles. I have visited many different places where the expectation of women’s clothes was one that had women physically exposed because that was their attire expectation. The amount of attention that the men in this video received I have been part of myself from the unnecessary attempts to push themselves into a dancing circle, to intruding on a personal conversation during a girl’s night, I have felt the uncomfortable and yet very commonly seen/experienced male behavior. Overall, I feel the video encompasses all the behavior that I have seen in my years of going out. Although the behavior is excessive in this video it makes senses because the video is trying to exhibit or portray all that behavior that can be seen and almost expected during a night out. I had never considered what that would look like in real life and I have to say that it was uncomfortable to watch because I felt some of the behavior almost seemed rude in response, maybe it was the acting in the video, but this made me question if I had ever had a negative reaction to an event such as being approached out in a bar or club by a man. I think maybe my thought process is overly kind because I work with children and I try to teach that mistakes happen and sometimes people don’t make the best choices for their body or others. I also find it conflicting for me that one form of assault never cancels out the other, for the man to have slapped the woman after she grabbed his bottom was a turning point in my thoughts, the reason being that either way I looked at it, the moment was not acceptable.
It’s so interesting to see the gender roles of women and men swapped! I’ve been out to bars so many times and have watched how sleazy men can be. They tend to gravitate toward women they think are “easy.” It all just seems to be a game…who can get the hottest girl, who can take someone home or how many numbers they can get. I’ve had men rate my friends and I on a scale from 1-10 right in front of us. That always irritated me because I wondered what gave these men the right to think that they are so worthy of rating the attractiveness of another human being. It was kind of funny to see the women in the video take on that role. I’ve had all of these same scenarios happen to me. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even talk to men when I got out to a bar or a club. I just feel like it’s all a game to them, they just want to see how many women they can get, in a short amount of time. At 31, I must say my priorities are much different. I wish men would get the hint that it’s not cool to act like a sleazy jerk. It’s incredibly uncool to make women feel uncomfortable. I would love to try these role reversals the next time my friends and I go out; I think it would be comical to see how men react. Give them a taste of their own medicine!
Watching the roles being swapped is definitely something more men should watch. I have experienced many of these scenarios and it’s not fun especially if I’m just trying to have a fun night out and men who are hitting on me or my friends don’t understand that. It’s completely normalized when the roles aren’t reversed like in the video, but it’s a little weird to watch when the roles are reversed because it’s just not something that is seen ever. This video tries to emit humor in the role reversal, but it’s so spot on with how men act toward women in these types of social settings thinking that it’s okay.
It was sad, however, to see how men do have the power to assert themselves. For example, there was a group of three men trying to catch up at a table, but the woman was thinking “I’ll just buy them drinks and they’ll let me stay”. I see that in a lot of guys, they think by buying drinks, they are obligated to stay with the woman he bought it for, for the rest of the time when she is clearly uninterested.
A very interesting video where the roles of women and men are swapped. When women have many sexual partners, culturally, they are judged very negatively and are devalued. Of course, men having many sexual partners is seen as normal and expected. Hopefully this makes men understand how women really feel when they are used and seen as objects.
It is so true about the “girly” drinks because I see it often in my social circle. If a guy orders a margarita the other guy says “margarita? Seriously? That is only for girls!”. I asked him why would he say that and he said that there is no alcohol in it and it is mostly a sugary drink. In the bar you can see how the pink drinks are placed in front of the women and the beers in front of the guys.
I really like the idea of seeing how it would be like if gender roles were switched in a bar! I was pretty anxious to find out how it went, but as I read more and more, the results were pretty interesting. I think this experiment served a lot of purposes, but one would definitely have to be showing guys how girls feel about being hit on when they just want to have at wherever they are. This also made me realize the unfair treatment women go through everyday. When women get hit on, they get shot down if they reject the request of certain men, but if they accept the request, the word eventually goes around and they get shunned for “sleeping around”. Also, the topic of “girly” drinks is true. Stronger drinks that have more of an alcohol taste are referred to as “manly” drinks. More diluted (weaker) drinks that have more of a tropical/fruity taste are referred to as “girly” drinks. This role reversal really showed the true light of certain situations and allowed both sides to see how the consequences of each role felt like.
I loved being able to see the roles being switched!
This reminds me of this one episode of ‘How I met your Mother’ where Robin (my fav!) and Lily bring Ted and Marshall to a gay bar. Ted and Marshall were complaining about how weird it was that they were being hit on the whole entire time when they just wanted to enjoy their night. Lily and Robin then reminded them that women feel like that all the time at a straight bar.
Tonight as I watched this video, I spoke to my boyfriend about it. I told him how nervous I am sometimes just to go alone to gas my car. I am an independent woman, we all are. We gas our own cars! How many of you feel like this? I personally wait for a little before getting out to see if there are any weird men around, then I try to make it look like I’m wearing bagging clothes. It sucks, but I’m afraid that my cute outfit might attract a weird dude. Just today while I was waiting for a LYFT, this weird dude in a Lexus comes up to me and tries to ask me if I need a ride. He proceeds to tell me that he just came from acting class and is wondering if I’m free tonight. First off, I wouldn’t go out with him even if he WAS a famous actor because he came off to be so weird. He made me feel so uncomfortable and I stood there hoping that someone from the restaurant behind me would see this and save me.
I wish men knew how annoying and uncomfortable they make things. There IS a better way to hit on a girl and there IS a way to not be a weirdo! We need to start teaching them how we feel!
It is slightly in the interest of men to behave in ways that would be demoralizing to the current status in which they gloriously victimize others in. It’s a shot at the whimsical and a breath of the divinely anticipated “switcharoo” that has men begging for a step back into the entitlement in which they came. Any foresight of the before-mentioned definitions can perhaps glean a simple possibility of the mediocrity in which that is the club/bar scene. Men are seeing themselves desperately begging for the attention of women, and women wish to take no part in the disasterous attempts to wane in their impulses. A cleverly acted short film, we can perceive without fault that society as a whole is fragmented at its very foundation and a necessary revitalization in its primary principles of good and evil are at play. To begin with the shift that asks for the change that is best suited begins with the question of morality and conduct of all people’s true character. In a simple matter of words, one can expect illogical and irrational behaviors that divide us when the nature of the game has the pieces set up for others to be of failure. Only by reinventing the structure can progression in a society see itself take place meraciously.
The video made me smile. But, then I mulled over the point, isn’t I’m thinking that annoying a person is cool? Perhaps, men think in the same way and while “sissy” is an insult, “manly” is quite a compliment. Sigh…
How are you doing, Georgia? Visiting your blog after a long time… 🙂
Nice to see you back 🙂
I’m limiting my postings for at least a few months to just a few posts per month. Got too much going on now for more than that.
Yeah…same here. Was super-busy for the last few months. Trying to be regular with blogging…
Good luck to us both!
This video is very interesting. The bar is a place in life to show the power of men and women’s charm. In this short video, they replaced the roles of men and women. Boys become passive and women become proactive. Have to say that such a reversal will find that many places reflect the different requirements of women and men. A lot of points are quite ironic and funny.
Seeing life from another’s perspective is always enlightening.
🙂
I genuinely believe that because of the way our society is built, by saying men with many partners is acceptable and women with multiple sexual encounters is looked down upon, we are making it nearly impossible for women to put themselves out there in the same manner as men. Women are also, more often then not, more sensitive then men, which makes the idea of possible rejection harder to ignore. I’ve seen quite a few video’s, like this one, that show women and men switching roles, and I honestly believe that women will never have the confidence in themselves and the support of our society to make this truly happen.
They could if we socialized girls to be more brave.
It is nice to see the roles being swapped. I believe it gives men an understanding of how women feel when they get hit on or be seen as an object. I think that there is a lot of double-standards in the society that we live in today.
If a man hits on women he likes, he is a creep. If he does not, he is a spineless “nice guy”. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
Depends on how you do the hitting.
Most people appear as more attractive when you get to know them, so get to know a woman then ask her out for coffee.
I think it is great that this video is was made because I feel that it shows a good example of how men would react if women try to hit on them in the bar. The video does seem a little bit funny because it shows how man act when trying to get the ladies. Personally it’s annoying when men try to get your attention especially when you make it clear you’re not interested. The actions that this video shows are very true. For example, when the woman grabs the man butt he gave her a look and slapped her. In many occasions when I have gone to the bar, and Have seen similar situations like this happen. The article does hit good points about the roles being swapped and it shows the amount sexual harassment that women go through each night at the bar or at a social place. Also, it shows how uncomfortable it can be when the opposite gender hits on you constantly making it be less attractive.
I very much enjoyed this video. I didn’t think it was funny. My thoughts on it were “Ohh yea that’s exactly how women are sexualized” If this video was real and men went through it all then things would be different. They would probably understand what a woman goes through when her actions and her looks are being judged in public and with no sense of sensitivity.There was also the walk of shame at the end of the video when the guy gets offered a taxi instead of breakfast. This kind of thing happens to both genders but usually, women are the ones receiving the shame. This is because in society its ok for a man to have multiple sexual partners but a woman loses her value when she is involved with multiple men. I think that this video was not meant to humor people but to show how women feel when they’re being sexualized by providing the men with their own point of view in the matter.
Definitely, this video points out traditional gender expectation through a topsy-turvy situation in which women put the “manly” manners into action that makes men objectified, and mortified. Even though, this video can hint the women’s discomfort from sexist comments and attitudes, it reveals the limits in which women grow up and deal with everyday. Joanna Schroeder’s quote is quite indicative of those limits. Why the video looks funny? Why women look rude, intrusive, and intimidating?
Personally, I don’t think the video is that funny; there are parts that are over exaggerated, including stereotypes, for the sake of entertainment, but the point is that nobody expect a woman to behave in a way to intrude in conversations unwelcomed, to slap a men’s butt, or to lounge in bed offering to call a cub to the one night stand, so the whole thing becomes almost a caricature. Why is not expected? Because through centuries society constructed the “natural” path in which women were seen as fragile, inferior, an object of pleasure, and dependent; consequentially, it is hard to change mind and expect no expectations. Especially in the sexual area, women are still seen as prey and men still operate as predator and the vice-versa situation, when women approach men, is still loaded with prejudice. Even though, men can be predators, they should not harass a woman because of her clothes or because of her gender. Of course, the same rules apply vice-versa and other genders as well.
The objective of trying to do a role reversal in a bar setting was spot on in this skit. It showed the intrusive and objectifying treatment that men would usually show to women at the bar. For the longest time, men that display these traits at the bar or even in public is nearly the norm, and many people would look past it. However, the skit reveals how it actually is when the gender roles are reversed. We’ve seen how it is in reality, where men would create small-talk and objectify women at the bar. But when the roles are reversed, it seems to be alien to us. People may think that those women are very insensitive to what the men want, they should probably leave them alone. Aside from being a parody of what happens in a typical bar, the video truly reveals the unfair treatment women receive from men.
I found this post to be very interesting and entertaining. It was very awkward to see women acting as men. A lot of the behaviors displayed by the women were more bothersome then if it was a guy. I don’t find a lot of the behaviors to be attractive even in a man never mind a woman. There is a double standard when it comes to what a man should drink. They aren’t considered manly if they like sweet or girly drinks as society likes to categorize it. The behaviors on the other hand don’t have a double standard for me because in both men and women look attractive doing so. The girl comment on the guys unbuttoned shirt just sexualizing and objectifying the guy. That’s a behavior that I frown upon no matter who does it. I do think this is a great video to show men who it would feel to be treated that way.
It was very interesting to see that if a man and women switch places. I always did not understand why we have women’s drinks and men’s. How type of alcohol that people drink characterizes them as a person. For example, I like to drink wine, but most of my friends consider it a feminine drink. It was also funny and at the same time sad to watch the woman stick to the guys. I found it funny to watch it as I had never seen a woman pick up man like this but at the same time sad because I understand that man often do that. It looks very vulgar and I think this is not respect for the woman. I believe that this video shows to us that what we need to change in ourselves so that we all live in equality. We must understand that in this world not to be divided into male and female.
After reading your post, I realized that I hadn’t really noticed the fact that there are drinks that are considered for women and men. I read the blog post but it didn’t really hit home until after I read through the comments. I feel like as I come to think of it I have even done it myself subconsciously, I have laughed at my husband for wanting a margarita and said are you sure you don’t want a beer. What makes beers “manly” and cocktails feminine? It seems like a society we put a huge emphasis on that but where did that start and how do we stop doing it? Of course I feel that now that I am aware I will work on not creating a gender for drinks but I’d like to help it become something that is given less value over someone’s self.
I like how this video portrayed how a man acts when they spot very attractive girls in a bar and twisted it around to a woman doing the actions most men do. For instance, when the girl slapped the guys’ butt he slapped her for her careless actions. It shows that whether it would be a man or a woman it is unacceptable to do things like disrupting a conversation, slapping butts, and trying to get them into bed isn’t the right way to approach someone. Especially when you know he/she doesn’t want to don’t force them. It’s better to just get to know each other rather than having the mindset of getting he/she into bed.
I actually think this video is kind of funny. No offense to the men who do this at bars, but it shows how ridiculous they look, trying to get a girl’s attention. From a girl’s point of view, it’s really annoying and traumatic to be cat-called and groped when we don’t want to be. In addition, the men look disgusted, similar to a woman’s expression when she is facing the experience. It perfectly depicts what a woman feels, and accurately shows the woman’s expression. This video should be shown as a method of sexual harassment awareness because it places the men in an uncomfortable position, perfectly targeting their low level of control in the situation. Men would hate being placed in the position, and being seen as a prey would definitely trigger them in a negative way. Maybe next time they hop into a bar and decide to lower an innocent girl’s motor skills, they’ll remember how grimy what they’re doing is.
It does seem sillier when the roles are swapped, which is sad, especially since it can feel a little scary in real life. I feel like I’ve met those guys too many times.
I don’t like to be referred to as a girl (since I was about 9) and so object to terms like “girly” whole-heartedly, especially when compared to “manly” – the language itself is on unequal footing, never mind what they mean.
Thanks for your thoughts on this. It seems a few people can recognize all this from their own experience.
I guess as long as we’re stuck with gender stereotypes, we might as well try to use them to increase empathy and putting oneself in another’s experience. And I think the volume of “This is how I would do it” thoughts it triggers are part of the benefit. Great post as usual.
Yes, creating empathy is the point of this. Thanks.
This is incredible! This video shows exactly how men behave when they have a little alcohol and how women are treated in a bar setting. Though, this could also be shown in a nightclub setting because a few things would make a little more sense. Overall this was an incredible depiction of the gender roles in a public setting like this. The article hits on the main points already but men tend to be so intrusive and extremely rude about how they approach someone. Not to mention the sexual harassment that does happen when men get too carried away. They start inappropriately touching or inserting themselves into private parties. The catcalling is also an unnecessary and extremely rude thing because it almost promotes rape culture. These stereotypes of men don’t apply to all men and bars are usually a place people go to socialize.
Yeah, doesn’t apply to all men and women. Just the problematic ones.
If men and women were to actually switch roles at bars, this is how they would act. Some men go to bars with their friends to have fun and get to know some people, but after a few shots your attitude seems to change a little bit. Men think they have more power than women do, wrong. Women have power to do what they want when they want. If a men wants to have sex with you and you don’t want to say no. Men think they have the power to assert themselves while women need to ask if they can have sex. No, women have just as much power as men do, it is equal.
There’s a rather repellent individual out there by the name of Roosh V (you may have heard of him – he’s become quite notorious), who started out as a skeevy pick-up artist, before reinventing himself as an ultrareactionary (one who regularly rails against the “degeneracy” of Western society despite being a self-confessed sex offender himself). Anyway, nearly a decade ago now, this character had something of a “stopped clock” moment when he wrote a piece entitled “I Was a Hot Chick” (or words to that effect). Basically, he dressed up as Jesus Christ one Halloween night (and pulled off the look amazingly well – it probably didn’t hurt that he’s originally from the Middle East himself), and was so overwhelmed by the (generally positive) attention he got from random strangers everywhere that he realized he’d gotten a taste of what the average attractive young woman must go through every weekend. He said that while he found all the attention he received flattering at first, it quickly got tiring, and he also observed that while a lot of people wanted to strike up conversations with him, those conversations tended to be very superficial. All in all, the aforementioned piece was quite insightful and funny, which makes it quite depressing that the lessons its author learned during that Halloween night didn’t make him a better person in the long run. What a shame!
Interesting story. Thanks!
There should had been a socially awkward woman who was afraid to approach a man she liked, sipped her drink for the whole evening, then went home depressed.
Good point.
None of this has anything to do with real guys. Real guys don’t even go to places like that. Actually, most don’t even live anywhere near places like that. Total fantasy.
You think? Sure it’s not all guys and all girls, maybe not even the majority. And yet this all looks so oddly familiar. This shows how both genders are hurt. Something that can seem invisible until you switch genders.
There is a degree of artful exaggeration in this film as in any art, but I also think it is very, very far from reality.
Normal healthy people don’t need the message. But we are harmed by those who behave this way.
If you portray all men as hyperaggressive sexual predators, it may seriously hurt people who do not fall under this stereotype but somehow take these allegations too close to their heart. There are notable examples.
Make-up, flirting, bling outfits. But this beauty contest has a twist – the men dress up, the women pick the winners.
And the prize? Each judge chooses her champion and may take him as her lover – even if both already have partners.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-12215138
Interesting!