The Breast Fetish Distracts From Sex
It can actually hurt both men’s and women’s sexual experience.
Sounds counterintuitive. But consider this:
Seventy percent of women think their breasts aren’t good enough: Too small, too droopy, too lopsided, not the “right shape”…
In bed with their lovers, do you think these women are uninhibitedly relishing the erotic experience?
Or are they distracted with worry that they might not look good enough?
I surveyed my women students and 94% of them got distracted in bed, at least part of the time, by thinking about how they look. Two-thirds said it could be a big distraction.
That includes 10% who think they look good, but who are working hard to make sure they look good for their men. Like this young woman:
It’s stressful because you’re consumed by your appearance instead of your enjoyment. Trying to be perfect is very distracting.
The biggest aphrodisiac for women is thinking her partner finds her irresistible — and that’s often not happening. Instead, women can spend a lot of time being distracted by worry.
Surely this is part of the reason why nearly half of women experience sexual dysfunction. It’s simply not possible to enjoy sex when that’s going on.
You can tell women to stop worrying, but that’s hard to do when men are always talking about how visual they are… what sort of breasts they prefer… And when women hear body judgments on TV, in movies, in evolutionary psychology, and in everyday conversation.
Some get breast surgery (which is risky) and lose sensation in their nipples — making sex less enjoyable.
Not so good for men, either
Most men would rather be with women who are enjoying themselves than with women who are distracted.
Yet it’s all unnecessary. You don’t find the fetish in every culture, particularly in tribal societies, which constituted the great bulk of the human experience. And preferences also vary from society to society and from man to man.
Even men who prefer certain types of bodies are perfectly capable of falling in love and having sex with women with other sorts of bodies.
Do I want men to stop experiencing the fetish?
No. I just want everyone to enjoy sex more.
Posted on August 21, 2017, in body image, sex and sexuality and tagged body image, breast fetish, Distraction from sex, self-objectification, sex, sexual dysfunction, sexuality. Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.