Why Do I Care About The Breast Fetish?
- Women’s self-esteem.
- Women’s ability to enjoy sexuality. (And if women enjoy it more so do men.)
- Getting rid of double standards
But I’m not interested in shaming men about the fetish. So what is my point? How would I like to see things change?
A quick reminder of the themes of past posts:
The breast fetish and women’s self-esteem
Living in a world where breasts are constantly obsessed over leaves most women self-conscious and worried they don’t “measure up.” 70% of women don’t think their breasts are good enough. That can affect self-esteem on an everyday basis. And one study found that when college women lost their virginity they also lost confidence in their bodies.
The breast fetish harms sexual enjoyment
And if she’s distracted and not “into it” her partner is probably enjoying himself less, too.
Some men feel disappointed or shamed because their partner’s bodies don’t fit some cultural ideal. So his self-esteem also takes a dive. And some of these guys grow abusive — insisting their partners do things to make up for body “short-comings.”
I know of relationships that have been destroyed by these issues. Not good for anyone.
Double standards that obsess over and shame women while ignoring men are no fair. (I don’t think anyone’s body should be picked apart and shamed.)
The breast fetish is not natural, it’s socially constructed
You don’t find it in every culture so it can’t be natural. For more, read “Related Posts” below.
I don’t care about personal preferences
First off, I don’t care about personal preferences.
If you are a guy who is really turned on by breasts, I don’t care.
If you are a guy who’s really turned on by really big breasts… or really small ones… or lopsided ones… or any other sort… I don’t care.
I don’t care about personal preferences…
… but could you keep it to yourself? Or share just with your lady if she happens to fit said preference?
Changing the culture — one conversation at a time
Not announcing your personal preference to everyone you can think of is one step toward changing the culture.
My first boyfriend said his friends wondered why he dated me when I didn’t have big breasts. Did they have to say that? And did he have to tell me that?
Another boyfriend told me about his friend who was obsessed with big breasts. Do I need to know that?
Another male friend loudly proclaimed that big breasts were all he cared about. When I broke up with my boyfriend he wanted to date me. Why would I want to date someone when I’m not his type at all?! No thanks! And btw, I could do without the megaphone announcing how much more attractive you think other women are.
My own brother told me that guys kind of like a bit more up top. So what am I supposed to do with this information?
Oh, and I get to hear guys on my blog go on about how much they like big breasts… or how important breasts are too them…
… Meanwhile, guys have to hear other guys go on about this stuff too, which can affect their self-esteem if girlfriend is otherwise endowed.
I could go on…
The larger culture
Maybe the larger culture could grow more aware of how all this hurts so many of us.
But of course, plenty of money is made by making people feel bad about themselves and then offering a product to “fix” it. That can include breast surgery, under and outer garments to create illusions, and even porn — you can’t get it at home but you can get it here!
If things don’t change? The plus side
If things still don’t change there is an upside for those who feel they don’t have “perfect” breasts:
You’re more likely to get guys who are empathetic, who don’t objectify you, and who actually like you.
Come to know who we are, and know that you are so much more than this silly fetish.
Men are perfectly capable of having sex and falling in love with women who don’t fit their personal preferences. So why create unnecessary problems?