Blog Archives
Want “X” From Sex? So Why Do “Y”?
Most want pleasure, closeness from sex
What do people want from sex? Most want pleasure and closeness. But they don’t act like it.
Instead, they’re preoccupied with how they look, what their partner is thinking, how they’re performing, and what is “normal.”
That’s what Dr. Marty Klein, a certified sex therapist and sociologist, says in his book, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want From Sex and How to Get It. Read the rest of this entry
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Must I Give Sex To Get Love?
The Pink Lady
By The Pink Lady @ Scratch Paper
Let’s talk about sex.
In all honesty it’s never been a very comfortable subject for me, and it’s taken a long time to figure out why. It wasn’t until my women’s studies class in college that the pieces started coming together, and I really started to figure out why I relate to sexuality the way that I do.
Trigger Warning: May be triggering for victims of sexual assault.
When I was younger (early teens) I was assaulted a number of times on my middle school campus, at my church, on various church events, and even in my own home by people who until these acts were committed I was pretty convinced were interested in me as a person. Read the rest of this entry
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Profound Relationship vs Intense Sex
Which would you choose: a loving and profound lifelong relationship? Or a series of short but intense romantic bonds?
Your answer may depend on which you value more, happiness or meaning, says University of Haifa philosophy professor, Aaron Ben-Zeév.
Oddly, we seem to be happiest when our lives are easy. But a sense of meaning comes from contending with obstacles and learning from them. Read the rest of this entry
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Porn: Making Men Want What Women Don’t
Did the porn industry figure out that by creating male yearnings for things women don’t like, they could make more money?
Sometimes it seems like it.
It would make sense: If porn is the only place guys can get a lot of what they want, you keep ‘em coming back for more.
Sure, some women are up for pornified sex, whether enthusiastically or not. But an awful lot aren’t.
Dr. Robert Jensen, a University of Texas professor and feminist who lectures on pornography says women constantly ask him what they should do when their partners want things they find upsetting.
And I’ve given my students surveys to compare women’s and men’s sexual preferences. Here’s a small sampling of what I’ve found (more later!): Read the rest of this entry
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Why Guys Think They Almost Got Laid
A man with Marian, the librarian
You walk into the library and there is an attractive woman behind the counter. You check out books or get a library card and you dare to “connect” with the librarian by chatting a bit about something other than books.
Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, in this scenario, the guy might think that he just almost had sex. He thinks that he not only could have her but that he almost did. That isn’t, of course, how the librarian probably views it. She is just doing her job.
That’s Male Sexuality Myth # 3 as Jerry Stocking described it at The Good Men Project. Jerry’s a spirituality author and blogger who helps people eliminate fear, stress and worry. He thinks Myth #3 distracts from reality and real relationships. Read the rest of this entry
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Did You Score Last Week?
How many times did you have sex last week?
If you are a 20-something American, the longer your relationship the more times you probably “did it.”
Sociologists, Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker studied young US adults for their book, Premarital Sex in America. Among other things, they wondered how often couples had sex.
Check out these numbers: 63% of couples who had been together at least four months got it on at least twice a week. That number bumped up to 72% if they’d been together seven months. After a year, 80% got laid at least once a week. Read the rest of this entry
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She Doesn’t Want To “Do it”
Some guys complain that women won’t do things that men want, sexually. Or worse, they aren’t into sex, at all.
They grumble after I’ve written something like this:
A woman explains, “A lot of guys have come to expect the ‘Porn-Star Experience’ … A few women might enjoy it, but for most it’s harrowing.”
Or, Read the rest of this entry
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Equal Marriage = Less Sex?
![porn-for-women[1]](https://broadblogs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/porn-for-women1.jpg)
Does an equal marriage mean less sex?
Maybe you’ve seen studies suggesting this unhappy possibility.
When men do feminine chores like laundry, cooking and vacuuming, couples have sex 1.5 fewer times per month on average, compared with more traditional couples. But when men stick to masculine duties like fixing the car and taking out the trash, women report greater sexual satisfaction, on average, according to University of Washington sociologists.
These findings disappoint progressives and cheer conservatives. And go against feminist expectations that men will get more sex when wives are less worn out. Read the rest of this entry
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Can Friends Survive Friends w/Benefits?
Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in “Friends with Benefits”
Sometimes friendships between women and men turn into “friends with benefits.”
Not surprising, really.
Friendships between men and women often start when one of the two – usually the guy – is hoping for sex.
Or sex is wanted without the baggage that relationships can bring, and FWB seems more inviting than hookups with strangers — especially for girls who want to avoid being called sluts.
Still, many fret that if things don’t work out, FWB could bring the loss of their friend. To keep things platonic, many avoid discussing the relationship, and make sure to bring up romances with others. And no flirting.
Still, the line is crossed at some point in the lives of about 60% of college students. What happens next? Read the rest of this entry
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Sex Gets in the Way of Friendship, For Men
Harry told Sally that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally didn’t believe him.
Maybe that’s because the sex part often gets in the way for men, but not so much for women. Read the rest of this entry
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