Sex Gets in the Way of Friendship, For Men
Sally didn’t believe him.
Maybe that’s because the sex part often gets in the way for men, but not so much for women.
One study found that about a third of women, and more than half of men, were at least somewhat attracted to their closest cross-sex friend. But few had discussed it in a serious way.
Another study found that women often had friendships with men, without experiencing any sexual tension. But sex seemed to be on most men’s minds. As Doug Barry over at Jezebel put it:
Men were often more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. This romantic ardor didn’t dissipate if, say, either friend was already dating someone else… Men also thought (incorrectly) that their female friends were also secretly harboring major crushes.
Apparently, a lot of men hear that women are much better at the whole relationship thing, and figure that if women want friends they’ll befriend other women. So they must secretly want sex with yours truly.
More so, a lot of guys think that their attractions are mirrored by their women friends. On the flip side, since women usually aren’t attracted to their men friends, they think the guys aren’t attracted to them, either.
Meanwhile, men will pursue a hot woman, regardless of her relationship status. Women are much more likely to see “taken” guys as off-limits.
A lot of us think that men and women can’t be friends. And that’s too bad because having female friends humanizes men, says Michael Kimmel, an expert on men and masculinity. Men with close female friends are less destructive, less cruel, less likely to rape, and more likely to see women as whole human beings.
Viva cross-sex friendships!
Posted on March 24, 2014, in men, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, women and tagged male/female friendships, men, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, women. Bookmark the permalink. 33 Comments.