Women Aren’t Visual? It Depends

Marky Mark

Marky Mark

You say that most women don’t find the penis visually arousing. Really? I, personally, find the penis arousing… Do you have any studies to back up your statement?

That’s a question from “Claire.”

Among those using a feminine name when commenting on my blog, only two — including “Claire” — have said they get turned on by a guy’s package and find it hard to believe that all women don’t.

Meanwhile, porn sure makes it seem like women get all hot and bothered at the sight of a cock.

Research suggests otherwise. And porn stars are actresses, after all.

A Billion Wicked Web Searches

Want to know what women Google when searching for sexual stimulation? Neuroscientist, Ogi Ogas, tells us in his book A Billion Wicked Thoughts.

Looking at all sexual searches by both women and men, only 2.4% are directed at penises (“penis,” “giant cock,” etc.) And men are much more likely to make this search than women are. Plus, men are much more interested in large penises than women are.

If women got so aroused by seeing a cock, you’d think they’d make a lot more searches in the privacy of home. Way more than around 1%.

Eye-tracking studies of non-erotic images also find men more likely to zero in on male crotches. Women aren’t that interested.

Playgirl goes bankrupt

There’s a reason why Playgirl went bankrupt even as a plethora of girlie magazines and websites thrive.

Plenty of women will pay money for celebrity biographies of Leonardo DiCaprio or Johnny Depp, hoping to learn about their love lives. But few will pay to see nude photos of men. As Ogas describes it:

Playgirl was the mirror image of Playboy, complete with graphic, high quality pictures of naked men (though there were no penises in the very first issue, and no erect penises for several years)…

Johnny Depp in Playgirl

Johnny Depp in Playgirl

Subscriptions paled in comparison to Playboy (which had plenty of competition). The magazine nearly went out of business the first year. Until gay customers started subscribing. Here’s the AOL search history of one customer:

gay frat stories, gay drunk college, gay college, nude photos of men, Heath Ledger nude – Playgirl

And most of Playgirl’s advertising was for gay sites.

Meanwhile, movies rarely give glimpses of penises to arouse women and boost ticket sales. Yet we get plenty of peeks at women’s breasts.

Sexy Weiner?

Do you remember Anthony Wiener’s crotch shot heard around the world? When he mistakenly tweeted the general public. As I wrote at the time:

Tracy Clark-Flory over at Salon put out a call on Twitter to get women’s reactions to this sort of sexting. Plenty of women wanted to see a man’s chest. But with few exceptions the response to THIS was complete revulsion. When asked whether crotch shots “do it” for them, one tweeter replied, “If by ‘do it’ you mean ‘send me to the toilet retching,’ then yes, they do.”

Flashers seem similarly clueless. Message boards suggest that flashers expect women to get turned on. At least one man finally “got it,” saying, “I simply can’t do it anymore… I found that I was basically just offending woman after woman.”

Women look at men’s faces and women’s bodies

Women actually seem to be more visually interested in women’s bodies than men’s. As I wrote in another post:

Meredith Chivers, a highly regarded psychologist at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, showed men and women, both straight and gay, short film clips of heterosexual sex, gay and lesbian sex, a man masturbating, a woman masturbating, a nude well-toned man walking, a fit woman doing nude calisthenics, and bonobos (an ape species) having sex.

Showing of her body more than his

Showing of her body more than his

Chivers then asked the men and women to rate how aroused they felt. But she also used probes to gauge penile swelling and vaginal blood flow.

Men’s responses were as expected.

But women’s genitals and minds seemed to belong to entirely different people. For instance, hetero women’s bodies were more aroused by the exercising woman than by the strolling man – though they claimed otherwise.

In other research, she asked men and women to wear goggles that track eye movement, and had them look at pictures of heterosexual couples in foreplay. The men gazed mostly at the women – their faces and bodies. But the women spent equal time looking at both sexes, with their eyes focused on the men’s faces and the women’s bodies.

So apparently women can be visual. Particularly if they’re looking at women. And that’s probably because our culture strongly eroticizes women’s bodies: selectively hiding and revealing their breasts and butts, creating sexual tension. And then obsessing over these “so sexy” body parts. By comparison, in tribal cultures women’s body parts are just no big deal.

Some women are turned on by nude men

Some women do seem to be aroused by nude men. Like the few who have written to me to say they are.

Or, University of Montréal sex researchers asked men and women about their fantasies. While women were much more likely to fantasize about watching two women making love, 19% fantasized about two guys.

woman watching pornAnd among women who watch porn, gay male porn is one of their bigger interests. But keep in mind that only 8% of women admit to porn-viewing. And when Dr. Ogas examined male and female Internet searches, he found that men were ten times more likely to watch porn.

Women who watch porn are different from other women (otherwise, all women would watch porn). And these may be the women who are interested in penises. But that’s not necessarily why they watch gay men. More on that later.

So sure, some women do seem to get aroused by the male body. But then:

A person = biologically influenced personalities + social interactions + culture

Our culture does very little to eroticize the penis. But because we are influenced by things outside of culture, some women can end up finding the male package pretty enticing.

Careful what you wish for

A lot of guys feel bad that women don’t get aroused by the penis in the same way that guys get aroused by breasts. But as I recently said, “Count your blessings.” For more on that, see this post: Want To Be Objectified? Careful What You Wish For

Related Posts on BroadBlogs

About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on June 22, 2015, in body image, men, objectification, pornography, psychology, sex and sexuality, women and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 123 Comments.

  1. Since same-sex attraction is the definition of bisexuality/lesbianism that means that straight women can be influenced to bisexual/lesbians.

    • There seem to be differences in male and female sexuality such that women are more easily influenced by social cues, which I’ll write about later. But I’ve written before about the fact that men have to learn to be visual, too. If you go to “men aren’t hard wired to find breasts attractive” (Go to the right-hand column of this blog, it is usually there under “popular posts”) you’ll see more on that topic.

      • I don’t think that’s the same. For heterosexual men it’s very easy to learn to be attracted to naked women, they are heterosexual anyway so it’s not something against their grain.
        But heterosexual women learning to be attracted to women? now that’s actually shifting their sexual orientation since sexual orientation is defined by attraction which proves that sexual orientation can change, at least for heterosexual women.

        As for men learning to be visual. Could straight men ever learn to be visually attracted to men? no way. Or lesbians ever learn to be visually attracted to men? no way again or gay men ever learn to be visually attracted to women? still no way

      • I didn’t have time this morning to be more specific but I wasn’t talking about sexual orientation. I was talking about a body part. I’ve written before about how women can learn to become aroused by breasts without having any desire to have sex with a woman. So her orientation hasn’t actually changed.

        On the other side of it heterosexual tribal men have sexual desire for women and that is their natural orientation. And yet they don’t find women’s breasts arousing.

        And then there’s a third thing: straight men who watch a lot of porn, like men giving women facials, can lead them through conditioning, to get aroused just by seeing a penis. That doesn’t mean they have any interest in having sex with a man.

    • Regarding men not being able to be aroused by other men… Didn’t that Billion Wicked Thoughts book say that the penis was one of the top 5 image terms searched for by men on the internet? LOL

  2. I’ve mentioned before I find it weird they compare a strolling man with a woman doing vigorous exercise…I don’t quite know how that passes for science. Though as I’ve also said before I am not surprised the eroticisation and depiction of women sexually affects their responses. It’s like we’re being trained – even though we’re unaware – through constant exposure to view see the female body as a certain type of cue. And also why do ‘sexy’ shots of men mostly focus on the upper body and not the whole body?

    Also, breasts aren’t analogous to penises. Shouldn’t we be comparing penises vaginas? It seems a lot of women and indeed some straight men are kind of grossed out by vaginas. I think we as a society have made genitals in general gross, so we’re trained to have a negative reaction towards them, particularly women. Of course it’s not really natural to find any genitals repulsive…

    I think for many men searching for penises is partly to compare/or just see what other men’s penises are like, since these days there aren’t many opportunities to compare. The arousal one gets from watching a penis in porn is natural, as it is just imagining how it would feel like to be the man in the picture. The arousal one gets from a vagina is imagining how good it would feel to penetrate it.

    I think one of the reason why women paid more attention to the female’s body is because it’s constantly scrutinised, especially in the context of being sexually arousing. Males are seldom presented this way, and most of the time in the gay sphere. I do think a lot of women are turned on by male nudity, no doubt about it, my girlfriend said she finds my body very arousing (hopefully she wasn’t lying!). It’s just a matter of taking the male body as erotic seriously, which I believe women are fully capable of. I think if there wasn’t such a taboo against it more women would also appreciate gay porn.

    • Well even men have to be taught to be visual toward women’s bodies. In tribal societies breasts aren’t arousing. In those European societies where there is a lot of female nudity breasts aren’t arousing either.

      Regarding “I’ve mentioned before I find it weird they compare a strolling man with a woman doing vigorous exercise…I don’t quite know how that passes for science.” It seems familiar but you said that, but I can’t remember why you felt that way.

      Bottom line is that in our society we strongly socialize everyone to find women’s bodies arousing, but not men’s. I’ve talked about how this happens before. I’ll add some links later when I have time. You could take a look at some of the related posts below, though. And see this: ” why aren’t men objectified?”
      https://broadblogs.com/2015/05/13/why-arent-men-objectified/

      One more thing: the female equivalent of the penis is a vagina and we don’t really sexualize the vagina either: selectively hide and reveal or obsess over. And men’s Internet searches for “Vagina” are very low. Like single digits, I think.

  3. Makes me think about as a young girl I had pictures of Shawn Cassidy, Greg Evigan on my walls and could stare at them for hours- and for years crushing on George Clooney-but never in a million years had I ever thought “I want to see their penis.” Nothing too visual interesting about that particular body part in my opinion. Although I have definitely found the sight of buffed men running down the street without a shirt on arresting.

  4. This research and the findings…are really interesting…I personally feel that truly all women are not actually aroused by penises. they concentrate more on the physique and the look ….

    • If they were, women would be doing a lot more Internet searches for them.

      • My personal opinion is that gay guys are truly more aroused by penises than straight women… You only have to watch some male gay porn to see that clearly… OraI sex scenes, even better!… I think it also depends on the guy and not his parts… Well, at least in my case! …All my best wishes, dear Georgia. Aquileana 😀

      • That sure seems to be the case.

        “I think it also depends on the guy and not his parts” — that seems to be true for most women.

        For some reason a lot of guys aren’t thrilled about that — that we care much more about the whole guy than his parts. Whereas a lot of women wish that men were more concerned with the whole woman!

    • “I personally feel that truly *all* women are not actually aroused by penises.”
      That’s wrong.
      Some women are indeed aroused by penises.
      It’s not the majority, but by saying “‘all’ women” you’re making a sweeping generalization.

  5. Well I genitals just aren’t that great looking and different looking compared to other parts, so it makes sense for women to not be that interested in simply seeing a man’s dick or dick shots. Women shouldn’t be grossed out though as they seems unnatural, well unless the man is a creep and just flashes a woman without her consent. Then obviously that action could be threatening and repulse a woman for good reason. I don’t think men not looking up women’s vaginas is because vaginas aren’t hidden and teased, causing sexual tension etc. They are to some extent when women are split legged or pulling bikin bottoms low like you could almost peak at something.

    But there isn’t the visual desire to see that part compared to women’s boobs or butts is because like I said, genitals are not the best looking thing by themselves. Like a vagina shot is not really great. A nice tight pussy can be sexy, but you have to see the whole woman’s body naked and it go together like that, with her face, breasts, and pussy shown naked and that sexy nudity. However, because boobs and butts are more sexually attractive and visually pleasing on an attractive body. A man can see simply a close up of her boobs or butt and it’s arousing or sexy, unlike a vagina picture.

    • I think the only time women are grossed out is when strangers or men they’re not sexually interested in flash or sext them. And your other points make sense to me.

  6. I agree with this piece, especially when it mentions a possible reasoning behind why women mostly eroticize other women. If women bodies weren’t so strongly eroticized by the media, women and men alike wouldn’t find them such a big deal like in other cultures. I think this creates some sort of confusing in women because they may feel like they need to find men arousing, but they have just being accidentally conditioned to do so with women instead.
    Even from personal experience, I’ve never really found men’s bodies to be arousing. I often feel out of place when girlfriends talk about how nice a guy’s butt is, because I just don’t feel anything when looking a guy’s body. I think it’s also because growing up, one sees that men’s naked (upper half) bodies are normal and ok, while women’s are deemed as inappropriate. This further proves the reasoning provided above.

    • Are you saying that you never find a man’s body arousing, even with men you know and had relationships or just media depictions?

      • Don’t know if she is subscribed to comments, but most women don’t.

        Some men have written in to say that they don’t find women’s vaginas arousing either (and men, generally, don’t search for them much on the Internet), But what happens is when you’re in the mood with your partner the whole experience is arousing, and so the genital area becomes arousing because of what it means. I suspect that’s what the women are talking about who have said that they do get aroused with their partner, even if not with random men.

        Women who have commented already: feel free to chime in on this.

    • If women bodies weren’t so strongly eroticized by the media, women and men alike wouldn’t find them such a big deal like in other cultures. I think this creates some sort of confusing in women because they may feel like they need to find men arousing, but they have just being accidentally conditioned to do so with women instead.
      Even from personal experience, I’ve never really found men’s bodies to be arousing. I often feel out of place when girlfriends talk about how nice a guy’s butt is, because I just don’t feel anything when looking a guy’s body.

      Well men are aroused to the extent they are to women’s bodies, because of how it’s fetishsized. But women’s bodies are still sexually attractive and still sexy and still lust worthy visually. So they still do something for men and can even with the fetish gone. Men who are in long term relationships, might not have the feeling toward their woman’s body like they do to a new girl. But men still feel something or visual desire or lust can sweep up from their wives body time to time, as women’s bodies and their wifes body will always be very sexually attractive to men thus sexy, therefore, potentail to be arousing and lust worthy still there. Just not in a fetishsized way. I find that weird that you are so non visual that you don’t feel anything when looking at a guy’s body and you feel out of place when your girlfriends talk about how nice a guy’s butt is.

      That shows how it’s rather more normal than you think for women to be visually effected by men, or else your girlfriend wouldn’t be effected by men’s nice butts. You on the other hand aren’t. So I don’t know if it’s that women are that unvisual like you, because like you said, if so, there wouldn’t be a difference between you and your gfs. But there is. They get visual enjoyment looking at a nice butt on a man, whereas you don’t feel anything looking at a guy’s body, but apparently many women, while not in a fetishsized way like men do, but many women do get some reaction to men’s body parts too. And Even if men’s torso is seen normal, I don’t know how that shoudl prevent from finding the said torso sexy and lust worthy.

      Nice looking muscles create the potential to be sexually attractive, which creates the potential to be sexy, which creates tha potential to be arousing. You see ears are seen as normal too, yet because they have little aesthetic pleasing value or connotation, etc, they have like zero sexual value or sexiness. Women’s legs are normal. But while they aren;t arousing like boobs or butts because not fetishzed they can create a reaction on men and be sexy and you can’t say men don’t feel anything toward women’s legs, despite them being normal. And it’s because they can be nice looking, sexy body parts. Not all body parts are created equal on the sexual aesthetic level, which is why some parts are commonly seen as sexual whereas, others rarely.

  7. I love looking at my husband’s body but otherwise am not visually motivated at all.

    • And there is also a difference between getting aroused as with a fetish and enjoying the beauty of someone’s body. So women commonly enjoy a beautiful man’s body in the way that a man enjoys a woman’s lovely legs (still different usually, because the culture eroticizes — even if it doesn’t fetishize — women’s bodies more than men’s). And this bodily appreciation, regardless of gender, can make sex more enjoyable. But it’s different from actual arousal like a fetish creates.

      • Super good point. And I generally don’t get aroused by a body part that doesn’t belong to a person I know and admire.

  8. I definitely do get aroused by seeing my partners penis. Some of my girl friends who I’ve talked to about this said they also feel the same way. Not all agreed. I would say about 60% felt the same way as me, the rest didn’t find sight of a penis to be arousing.
    That doesn’t mean I find the sight of any guy’s penis arousing though. I don’t want random guys sending me dick pics nor do I care to look up dick pictures online. Seeing an erect penis of my dating partner is an instant turn on though or of a male celebrity I’m attracted to.

    • That’s interesting in so many ways.

      Our culture does absolutely nothing to create that reaction, but it could be that your social group has had a different experience from average and that you have managed to teach each other somehow.

      Sometimes I wonder if early exposure to porn could have that effect. One of my female students found porn really early and watched it a lot. So maybe she had the experience that straight guys have of watching “The money shot” and finding penises arousing through conditioning.

      It’s also interesting that men who’ve been with the same partner for a long time usually say that once they grow used to their partners breasts they still find them attractive and maybe mildly arousing, but not like the fetish response. Like when they see a new girl. That’s why guys are constantly checking out new girls in porn — to get that stronger effect again. If they see the same girls’ breasts over and over again the purely visual effect drops quite a bit over time. The fetish seems to need some novelty. So I’m wondering if you are aroused by your partner in the same way that men often describe themselves as finding their partner’s breasts arousing, but not in a strong fetish way that leaves then seeking out a lot of images of random women who they don’t know or care about?

  9. I am interested in that book. I saw a video presentation by the author. Do they mention how they know the gender of the people doing the searches? If I go to a porn site, do they know that I am female even though I am not a subscriber nor do I provide any information. Regarding the penis, I think it is more arousing seeing it in its aroused state blushing out his pants.

    • So on the last point, you mean inside his clothing I’m guessing. I assume you’re female, and what you say makes sense since research suggests that women often get turned on by feeling like the guy is turned on by her (if that’s what you’re talking about).

      He talks about how the gender information was acquired in the first part of the book, the introduction, I think. I don’t remember the details offhand.

      • Yes, I am female. I guess seeing the bulge of an erection in a man’s pants can be so arousing because of his sexual desire and what I would like to do with his penis. Imagining sexual acts with men (particularly when I am ovulating) is far more arousing than just looking at his body. I love how sexual I feel when ovulating. I would love to feel that more!!

      • That’s a really surprising answer.

        Women don’t seem to be consciously aware of an increase in sexual desire when they’re ovulating, even though studies have found that they behave in subtly different ways at that time.

        Similarly, men don’t seem to be consciously aware of when women are ovulating even though men also seem to behave in subtly different ways around ovulating women.

      • Well, I haven’t done an ovulation test but there are certain times of the month that I tend to feel more sexual-more sexual desire, more responsive to sexual cues. It seems to happen in mid cycle more often than not but doesn’t happen every month. I suppose that this isn’t ovulation on its own but could be a push to make this feeling happen. I would like to make this happen more often.

    • One of the Chivers studies did say that women were aroused by looking at erect penises (but not flaccid). Daniel Bergner talks more about it here:

  10. I actually often don’t find vaginas alone that arousing. Especially in porn where it’s so explicit. I prefer the whole body. Men arent entirely visual even with conditioning. Touch is one area that is often overlooked. How do you think blind people have sex?…Not to say never, but I already have to be revved up. I’m straight but esthetically I wouldn’t say the vaginal is particularly beautiful. It’s because of what it represents.

    • Yes, people manage to be aroused and have sex even if they are blind, in the dark, or come from tribal societies where visual arousal isn’t learned. As a culture we don’t eroticize either the vagina or the penis.

      • I think we don;t erotiicize the genitals though, because they just aren’t that great looking. Whereas, nicely shaped breasts and butts of women and even legs are nice looking and have sensuality to them. Same reason why ears aren’t arousing or don’ t have that erotic attention, because they just are weird shaped.

      • Some things may be necessary but not sufficient. A base asthetic necessary but not sufficient?

      • In response to bob, I can agree but disagree at the same time. What we find aesthetically pleasing is a matter of perspective. I find parts with complexity and nuances to be aesthetically pleasing; ears are actually visually appealing to me, perhaps because I am an artist and a draw the anatomy and faces. So I see it on a whole different level, perhaps. I think part of why we don’t find genitals visually appealing has more to do with the negative connotations we have connected to them. We call them gross, partly because we consider them an immensely private area that we never see exposed in public (though in tribal societies or at least some, men walk around with their genitalia exposed, probably women too, and it’s no big deal). They can be veiny, yet veins on a man’s arm can be considered very attractive (so I’ve heard from some women, and I can agree). They have folds and nuances, yet many plants and earthy surfaces have abstraction, complexity, nuances, complexions, and so on. But we can appreciate them and see the majesty and beauty of them, even though they are not human anatomy.
        I once read a comment in one of these blogs where it was said men in tribal societies found women with longer breasts attractive, but here that wouldn’t be attractive at all! So really, it’s all a matter of perspective.

      • Another thing I want to add, regarding if a base aesthetic is necessary but not sufficient, if that was a question meant to be answered. I think there are two ways of answering that. It can be necessary if it’s the aesthetic aspect alone being eroticized, but it isn’t necessary IF it can serve another purpose other than conventional attractiveness. Because whatever the subject matter is that is being eroticized or fetishized, you can take into account the purpose of that subject matter, the function of it and what it does for the viewer. The characteristics of the subject matter can denote what it has to offer, or evoke how it feels, hence it can elicit an erotic feeling. Of course, negative cultural perception can interfere with that.
        I guess the answer is yes and no, really.
        We know that eroticizing something attractive is enough. But eroticizing something that isn’t considered very visually attractive (and like I said before, that’s really opinionated) may have more to do with eroticizing the purpose and the function, such as what does it’s appearance tell the viewer about what it offers. If we fetishized the vagina and the penis, it could remove the negative responses we have toward them. They wouldn’t have to be fetishized based on aesthetic appeal.

      • Interesting thoughts. Maybe so.

  11. I find this really interesting, because i never made the connection that women would find women more arousing because women’s bodies are so sexualized in our society. This is very interesting, and i’m glad to learn something new!

  12. I think this is an j retesting topic. I have to admit I look at the women body more than the male body, but I don’t get arroused from seeing a penis. Although in Western Europe you can see more naked bodies in movies, men and women. So it is not a huge deal to me. But I do believe when you grow up and are not seeing this, you maybe fee ashamed, or you maybe oppress those feelings of getting arroused.

  13. Hmmmm… Those women looking at other women working out in the gym are not starring because they are attracted. I can almost guarantee they are just analyzing and comparing their bodies, some women can be competitive. Ha. A lot of women do have a ‘Women crush’ someone they aspire to look, be like or just admire. A lot of the time it is not sexual at all. But there are certain women who are highly sexual and on another level completely like Angelina Jolie whom many women say they would become a lesbian for.

    If a women was being attacked by a floating penis, I would agree, most would swat it away and say “ew.” However, attach Brad Pitt to it and then I am sure that same women would change her tune. Or, attach their current lover to it and I am sure you would get a positive response. I think this is because the formula for attraction is different for women than for a man. The women is interested in the whole picture, she steps back and can associate say… his humor as sexy, and then everything changes, it’s a game changer. Women looking at a magazine like play girl is almost too shallow for them. It’s soulless. Male models barring it all is one dimensional, however, put Justin Bieber in a Calvin Klein ad for underwear and millions of females start to swoon because we know him. There is an extra variable when it comes to females attraction. Along with that, there is also not a lot of propaganda advertising mens body parts. Even in a Viagra advertisement, you won’t see a giant erection, which is what its advertising to do, instead we will just see a face shot of a man smiling. Why don’t they just show a man with a giant erection? Dress it up, draw a smile on it, or use it as a coster for their beer in the ad? There is nothing humorous, sexy or flirty associated with erections.

    • Well no one is saying that if a woman checks out another woman at the gym is because she’s lustful. I agree she is more likely comparing herself. The study I was talking about had women looking at a nude man strolling and a naked woman doing calisthenics, and the women’s bodies responded more to the nude woman even though they said in their surveys that they didn’t.

      So why would that be? Probably because we eroticize women’s bodies so much more.

      By comparison, in tribal societies women’s bodies are not eroticized, so no one finds them visually erotic whether they are male or female.

      And our culture does nothing to eroticize a penis.

      Even if Brad Pitt were attached to it, I think most women would be more turned on by his face and his chest — but not in a fetishized way.

      One study asked men and women if they could only see the face or body of a sex partner, which would they prefer to see? It was a short fling Half of men preferred to see the body. If it was a long-term commitment three quarters wanted to see the face. Among women, it didn’t matter whether it was short or long-term, All women wanted to see his face. So it seems that Women are pretty much “Face women” (as oppose to breast man, or butt men or leg men).

  14. This article was interesting and definitely something I think about myself. For me, I’m never really fascinated or get turned on by a mans penis unless they are my boyfriend or I love them! With my boyfriend, I do get turned on and feel differently! There is a certain pleasure in pleasuring the ones you love. Pornography, movies, and songs have certainly over done women getting so turn on because we do not! I am straight but since I can remember I have always found the female body more sexy and attractive! We get turned on as women because their is a certain sexy feeling about being intimate with someone you care about. If we did not have this media point of view that is all amped up, I feel it would be easier for women to just be themselves.

  15. It seems taboo to even talk about whether or not men’s penises turn women on. Because it is taboo to discuss sexual arousal, it hard to even get comfortable enough to even to get aroused. We as women are so focused on not ruffling any feathers and going against status quo of silence, that we are helping society repress our sexuality. Not only is it not comfortable, there is nothing in the media, television, or magazines that allows for a safe space for women to express their pleasure, whether it is from a visual stimulus or a something up close and personal.

    • “it hard to even get comfortable enough to even to get aroused.”

      Yeah, that’s another thing. Women spend so much time worrying about her partners desire that she often doesn’t notice her own. Instead, she’s often too obsessed with whether she looks attractive enough for him. “For my boobs too small, do I have too much cellulite?” Or she’s too busy posing in one angle or another that she thinks he’ll find attractive. Or she thinks that his orgasm is more important than her own, As I recently wrote about. (why endure excruciating hookups? https://broadblogs.com/2015/06/03/why-endure-excruciating-hookups/)

  16. I had read a comment above and I agree with one of the statements. For years throughout my teen years, I always had pictures of my favorite celebs on the walls of my room. People like Leonardo Decaprio, Johnny Depp, etc, and never once did I think to myself, “I wonder what his penis looks like”, or get turned on by thinking about such things. It’s funny to me now thinking about this because I still don’t look at men and say that.

  17. Some women like guy-on-guy, even though guy-on-guy isn’t sexualized on the media, how that can be explained when women are not socially conditioned to get aroused by the male body and guy-on-guy?

    • I’m going to write a post on this. And the answer isn’t necessarily that the women are lusting after the men’s bodies.

      • Some see it differently like you say, but I’ve shown posts to you, where a decent number of straight women are turned on by gay porn from enjoying men’s bodies and the face women’s bodies aren’;;t shown. Kind of like the way men are with lesbian porn. Believe it or not, there are some actual straight women, who find women’s bodies boring and tired of the pov from porn always being on the womans body and like it toward men and with gay porn they get two of what they like, plus I heard the men are more attractive in gay porn unlike straight porn, where men are commonly unattractive, because men’s attractiveness is not important to men or even men are to look average to make the male viewer less insecure and so the viewer can picture himself being with the hot woman.

      • Among women who view pornography, a lot of them do search for gay porn. But it’s not necessarily because they are aroused by the male body. I’ll write more on that later. Most women don’t seem to use lesbian porn to get aroused either. In fact, the way that the sexualization of women arouses a woman is more commonly like this: A woman is more likely to get aroused by thinking that her (usually male) partner is aroused by her body. At least if she can stop worrying about how she looks (one of the biggest blockages to female pleasure). For sure the men in gay porn are more attractive than the ones in straight porn. And that could be helpful.

      • Well there are only men in the picture.
        Thats confusing.
        When they watch porn with women its because of women’s bodies but when they watch porn with men it’s not because of men’s bodies?

      • Like I said, I’m going to be writing on this soon.

  18. “Most women don’t seem to use lesbian porn to get aroused either. In fact, the way that the sexualization of women arouses a woman is more commonly like this: A woman is more likely to get aroused by thinking that her (usually male) partner is aroused by her body”

    That doesn;t make sense for a woman to watch or use lesbian porn, because she thinks it arouses a man or puts herself into being in a scene with that woman which turns her man on. If a man’s desire or if it’s about male desire or her partners, I would think straight porn would turn her on, not because of the male body, but the desire the male shows and has for the woman’s body and the woman viewing it, putting her place in the woman’s role and seeing picturing the desire of the male as her husband or boyfriend having. It might be hard for regular straight porn as that’s rough and mysognist sometiems. But there are sensual, soft core porn and love scenes that are, erotic and non’piston like sex and more love making. So I don’t understand why women wouldn’t watch that instead and picture themselves being lusted as that woman in it.

    How can you imagine a man with lesbian porn, as man can’t take the place or her partner can’t take the place of the other woman in lesbian porn. That’s why men who are straight don’t watch or couldn’t turn this desire switch on watching gay porn, because they can’t imagine a gay man blowing or desiring the man as his girlfriend or wife desiring and doing that. But, straight porn, a woman blowing a man, well now he could imagine his wife or girlfriend taking her place and desiring him or doing that. That makes sense like that.

    “But it’s not necessarily because they are aroused by the male body.”For sure the men in gay porn are more attractive than the ones in straight porn. And that could be helpful.”

    Maybe not their bodies by themselves, but the combination of things. Like you said, women still find men’s bodies sexy or well I don’t know about all women. As I can see on this post, some women finding men’s bodies sexier than other women. Most women might not be visually aroused, but there seems to be a difference or split with women being more visual toward men as far as men’s bodies compared to other women being more face or mostly emotional. For example, I’ve seen many women talking about men’s butts and perve on men’s bodies and talk, whereas, I’ve seen other’s not really looking or care or check out men’s bodies at all. Basically some are more effected by men’s bodies than others, even if it’s not arousal.

    But I think part of it is the attractive, sexy male bodies in porn playing a role though and allowing the eroticism from gay porn paired with attractive male bodies, plus other things. even if women aren’t simply turned on by men’s naked bodies, the touching and erotic nature of sex + attractive male bodies + men enjoying themselves, + no self consciousness as women aren’t seeing women’s bodies + sex tips, etc. You add the visual enjoyment womenn can have looking at men’s bodies and the sexiness, add the sexual, erotic nature and eroticizing the element and that can cause arousal and lust, even if the bodies by themselves aren’t causing it, but more paired up with everything else, but some visual enjoyment from the bodies even if not arousal in itself, but working together with it all.

    • women who use lesbian porn use it to get aroused. Not all women use lesbian porn — most don’t seem to.

      • But I think the difference is that if women are being honest with being straight, it’s really not women’s bodies but the pleasure and sex that arouses them. That might be the case for gay porn too, but I think there is the “eye candy” element to with the attractive male bodies that adds to it, even if it by itself doesn’t cause arousal toward the men’s bodies.

      • First, both men and women learn the breast fetish. With women is a little different in these ways:

        1. it is more likely to be experienced in a vicarious way: she gets aroused feeling like the guy is aroused by her body. She is imagining him getting aroused by her breasts. For that to really work, she experiences it too — she makes love to herself vicariously through his perspective. But she’s very much experiencing herself as provoking his lust, and she is FEELING it herself. This is much more powerful if she has learned the breast fetish. And this will only happen if she manages to feel good about her body, but not feel good about her body and only think about how she is posed and what he is feeling. She must feel it too — which as I said, works best if she has internalized the breast fetish. Because then it feels very real to her. I will be talking more about how this works in later posts. Or at least one post.

        2. due to homophobia a lot of women will repress it

        3. because women are so judged by their bodies, they’re likely to be much more focused on how they compare with other women. If this is happening, they are not going to experience a breast fetish at all. It becomes more about competition, with the primary feeling being pride or resentment.

        4. otherwise, a woman can look at female breasts and get aroused. And it needn’t have anything to do with seeing them in a sexual situation. The nude woman who was doing calisthenics created a huge rush of blood to the vagina for women, Whereas a strolling nude man created a much less powerful rush — some have described it as flatlining. A lot of straight women get confused by this because they can’t figure out why they find breasts arousing when they have no desire to have sex with women. (And there is another difference between the straight woman and a straight man, He will probably want to have sex with woman.) And why don’t these women find men’s body parts arousing? It’s so confusing. Because they do want to have sex with men. I hear this from women from time to time. That’s the thing about the fetish. You don’t need a sexual situation to experience it. But then, our culture creates a breast fetish. Both women and men are subjected to the selective hiding and revealing of breasts, The camera focused on them, incessant discussion about them…

        And looking at your own experience, you said that you need a sexual situation find a vagina arousing but not breasts, Women can learn the same thing. In order to find a penis arousing, the woman needs a sexual situation. They are basically experiencing it the same way as you are. The breast fetish is a different thing.

        Otherwise, I’m sure that an attractive male body — like you see in gay porn — is way more pleasure-inducing than an unattractive male body — like you are more likely to see him straight porn.

  19. Plus as you said women are more likely to get aroused by thinking someone is attracted to her. But gay male porn is about guy-on-guy there is no woman in the picture, they obviously aren’t attracted to her so she can’t fantasize that these gay men are attracted to her

  20. I would like to see more on how women that watch porn are different, especially on why women watch gay male porn.

    • Before I offer some thoughts let me say this:

      If sociologists, like me, wanted to know how visual women were, they would not sample only women who watch porn and say that their experience is true of all women. There’s something different about women who choose to watch porn that is different from other women. Otherwise all women would watch porn.

      I don’t know all of the differences, But here are a few things that are obvious: they must be more visual, Or all women would watch porn in the privacy and anonymity of their home computers. But that isn’t even all women who watch porn. Some watch it because they want to know what men want, not because they get personal pleasure from watching porn. 44 percent of women report having sexual problems, the most common being low desire for sex. Women who watch porn must-have a higher desire for sex than these women.

      I’m currently writing something on the second question — why would women watch gay male porn. Especially puzzling since it’s very common for lesbians to watch it.

      • “I don’t know all of the differences, But here are a few things that are obvious: they must be more visual,”

        That’s what I came to as well. I think women who watch porn are more visual. So with that said. You said, it has to be other reasons for women to be turned on by gay porn since men’s bodies aren’t sexualized. But don’t forget that’s true for many or maybe most women as women aren’t trained to be visual like that. But like you said and I believe culture+personality,+culture, etc can factor in a person being visual. Some people are just naturally more visual. For men too. So if women who are more visual, are watching porn. Can’t these more visual women still be looking at men’d bodies and watch it and be turned on by men’s bodies despite men’s bodies not being fetishzied or sexualized, because these women are more visual than average? Therefore, still enjoy and get aroused by men’s bodies despite there not being much training and conditioning for them to be so? Remember there were some here who have said thjey find men’s dicks arousing though it’s not the general consensus. And maybe straight and gay women watch for different reasons? Though it is hard to understand why seeing men’s bodies and fucking each other isn’t an eye sore for lesbian women.

        But lesbian women might be turned on because some lesbians dress and maybe identify more toward the male side, so maybe they identify more with a male role and that might be more the reason for lesbian women’s arousal for gay porn. Whereas, straight women more likely enjoy the male bodies for the eye candy plus eroticism plus sexual situation? I mean it can be a matter of point of view. Like straight men who get turned on seeing a woman peform fellatio on a man and his dick. Though the dick is shown, it’s not the dick turning the straight man on, but him seeing himself as that man and his dick being sucked by that woman and her skills and face and performance turning him on. The dick and male body is just a prop so to speak. But perhaps a gay man, which I’ve seen some gay men say they watch straight porn sometimes. But a gay man turned on by a woman fellating a man, because of the dick being a turn on and maybe if the gay men is more relating to a feminine side, relating to the female role and imagining him doing what the woman is doing to the man and dick. So both being turned on but for different reasons and perspectives.

      • Who we are is a mixture of 1) our natural personality 2) our social interactions 3) our subcultures 4) our larger culture.

        And each person will be a unique mix of all of the above.

        In the series I’m doing I will talk about the reasons women give for watching gay porn. And yes, some are interested in the men’s bodies. In fact, I’m quoting you… Something like “One of my male readers guessed.. And as far as these women are concerned, he is right.”

      • Thanks for your reply. I’m very fascinated by this (I’m also doing a psychology honors degree).

        Interesting, I wonder if there is a way to somehow test/prove that there is a difference between women who do and women who don’t watch porn. Perhaps there is more brain activity or more/different areas activated whilst viewing porn in the porn watching women compared to the non-porn watching women. What else could be measurable? hmm.

        Oh you think the women who watch porn have a higher desire for sex than non-porn watching women? That is interesting. It would be good if this stuff could be supported by research studies. Some probably is but obviously not everything. I think that question could be at-least partially supported by evidence if women were asked to rate their sex desire from 0-10 with 10 being the most and then both groups (porn watching vs non-porn watching women) compared. Maybe ‘desire for sex’ could be more accurately measured in some other way as well, which I’m not sure of. Maybe how often they would like to have sex per month or week or how often they have sex or something of the sort.

        It’s also fascinating that lesbians watch gay male porn, I’d be interested in seeing your opinion on that. I watch gay male porn but I’m not a lesbian. lol

      • Since you are working on a psychology honors degree, I would imagine that you would understand why you would create a bias in your sample if you wanted to know how visual women were, but only surveyed women who watch porn — a visual behavior.

        A different question would involve what causes a visual response. For instance, men in tribal societies and European societies with a lot of nudity aren’t visually aroused. (Neither are the women.) I’ve talked about that a bit.

        But I’m wondering why you think that someone who wasn’t interested in sexuality would bother with pornography? I’ll be posting something one of my students wrote who is asexual. She is just annoyed by sex in the media or anywhere else (and apparently even the sex discussions in my class — I can only surmise). I even find the same correlation in my own experience. When I was a young kid and hadn’t learned that sex was “bad” I happened across some pornography and found it very arousing. Years later, after years of repression, I had no interest in either sex or pornography. Like I said, why would someone who wasn’t interested in sexuality bother with pornography?

        However, you might as well do study to answer your questions. But when of the risks in doing a survey is that people who are uninterested in sexuality are less likely to fill out the survey and turn it in. Especially those who think the whole issue is disgusting.

        I’ve written the series on women who watch gay male porn. It will be in three articles that I will post sometime this summer — I write ahead of time so that I don’t have to write so much while teaching. I don’t give very much of an opinion — just a little bit. Mostly just talk about the women’s opinions.

  21. So the conclusion is that women aren’t visual when it comes to the male body but they are visual when it comes to the female body

  22. I’m actually wondering how the de-sexualisation of men is contributing to men being LESS bisexual than they were in the past, and women being more lesbian/bisexual, or at least, open to that kind of behaviour, since if women are associated with eroticism, it could train a response, like Pavlov’s dog. I’m not sure if many women relate to this, but sometimes i find nudity in general arousing, and genitals, whether female or male, but I don’t really identify as bisexual since my response to women is higher and always has been. To what extent it has been trained, I can’t say, but I don’t believe it’s all trained. I do think women have been psychologically conditioned to find women more sexy and men less sexy than they ‘naturally’ would be, while this merely reinforces the male tendency. For instance, a women posed sexually, seductively, vs a man posed in a non-sexual manner. It’s sort of crazy just how influenced we are by subliminal cues.

    • Evidence suggests that our sexuality arises from a mix of biology, Social interaction, And culture, and I’m sure that if we sexualized men more that both women and men would be likely to find them more appealing. Some studies have found that straight men Who watch the ejaculation shot in porn– If it’s outside the woman’s body–can become conditioned to getting aroused just by seeing a penis.

      Some studies suggest that women might have more capacity for a sexual fluidity, biologically. I’ll discuss that later.

      • Since most women have a same sex sexual attraction and same sex sexual behavior, sexual fluidity, don’t that qualify most women as bisexual or lesbians?

      • I can’t say that I agree with your comment. Depends on what you mean by same-sex attraction. A woman can find breasts arousing – as a sex signal – and yet have no attraction to Women. And hardly any women have same-sex sexual behavior – I have to check the numbers I think it’s something like 7% or 12% who have tried it. That’s a small minority. And many of them tried it and didn’t like it. Making it nonsensical to categorize most women as bisexual or lesbian. Even the data and analysis I’m going to talk about which discusses women’s greater sexual fluidity does not imply that women sexual orientation is fluid.

      • Not discounting that a lot of sexuality is ‘innate’, or genetic, hormonal, biological.etc, but I definitely do think men can be conditioned or aroused by certain things, or repress certain responses. I know I don’t speak for all men, but as a basically straight male who at least has occasionally found say, gay sex arousing, I can speak from experience. In nature I think males are certainly capable of sexual fluidity, like I heard (I don’t have a study I heard it somewhere) that 9 out of 10 sexual encounters between giraffes are between two males, partly just as an outlet when the females aren’t receptive/ovulating. Of course we can’t use giraffes as an analog for human behaviour, which is different. Anyway yeah, just back to the point about how society can profoundly still shape and repress/encourage.

      • Makes sense to me.

      • So how can women have a fluid sexuality but not a fluid sexual orientation?
        That means that they like looking at naked women and girl-on-girl but dating men?

      • get aroused from looking at naked women and girl-on-girl*
        but want to date and have sex with men

        * most of the human experience is symbolic and when the female body becomes more sexualized, we all can learn it. It’s symbolic, not biological/natural.

      • I think only a minority really look at lesbian porn to get off, regularly, but it’s partly explained by conflicting messages. Women are sexy but you date men. It’s like how porn stars both male and female who are ‘straight’ to start off with become more bi when they do more same sex porn.

      • The nameless composer must be right on this point: since only around 10% of women are fans of porn, and a smaller percentage of them Watch girl on girl.

        I actually rarely experience the breast fetish anymore. Repression? Not sure. But when I did it never occurred to me to find girls attractive. I never had a crush on a girl. It never occurred to me too want to date a girl or have sex with the girl. It was just that one signal, That if I happened upon it, I would notice some level of arousal.

      • The Chivers study is somewhat biased. It said that they showed a nude man walking and a nude woman doing calisthenics. If they wanted to get objective results then the male and female model should perform the same actions. You can’t have someone doing a boring walk and someone else doing calisthenics and compare these two. That’s like comparing Brad Pitt to an average looking female. Then we can come up to the conclusion that men are more attractive than women

      • Still, when men and women wore goggles tracking eye movement, women paid more attention to the woman’s body than to the man’s.

        Playgirl also went bankrupt and there are plenty of good looking men in that.

        And a naked woman doesn’t have to be doing calisthenics for men to have a strong reaction to her body.

        And there is nothing in our culture that sexualizes and fetishizes male body parts — yet we strongly sexualize and even fetishize female body parts.

        In cultures that don’t sexualize and fetishize female body parts men don’t get all that excited

      • What you say may be true but what that has to do with Chivers study? She had two different specimen doing different things thus get different reactions. Women may prefer looking at female bodies but that doesn’t change the fact that Chivers study wasn’t entirely objective

      • But it doesn’t discount it entirely, either. The data still seems to be pointing to something that is a real phenomenon.

      • Perhaps its a safe trigger by Nature. If women were visually/sexually attracted to the male body then women would chase men thus resulting in many single moms.
        Or it could be women’s empathy. Women sense what men feel when they see a naked woman

      • So how do you explain that for most of the human experience men weren’t visual, either?

      • Men always were and will always be first and foremost visually attracted to women. That’s why boys from a young age have a visual attraction to girls that keep even as grown adults, men value women on how much physically attractive they are, there is a term “trophy wife” but there will never be a term “trophy husband “

      • Gee, how many times do I have to say this:

        In cultures where breasts and butts are not fetishized, they aren’t a big deal to men. And that was for most of the human experience. Because that’s what you find in tribal cultures and most of the human experience was tribal culture.

      • It doesn’t matter if breasts or bare ankles or overweight women are the ideal of beauty, men will always first and foremost be visually attracted to women. If there’s an attractive woman in the vicinity, men will notice her and most likely be attracted to her. The media trying and selling images of naked women are just taking advantage of men’s visual attraction to women. The need of men to visually attracted to women will always be there, whether it be a breast fetish, an ankle fetish, a knee fetish, etc. When men see an attractive woman that’s enough for them to be attracted to her. Her occupation, status, background, story of her life, won’t change much, wheras a woman wants to get to know well a man before she considers being interested in him.

      • In tribal societies men are no more visual than women are.

  23. “With my boyfriend, I do get turned on and feel differently! There is a certain pleasure in pleasuring the ones you love. Pornography, movies, and songs have certainly over done women getting so turn on because we do not! I am straight but since I can remember I have always found the female body more sexy and attractive! We get turned on as women because their is a certain sexy feeling about being intimate with someone you care about. ”

    What does this say about some women, like this or say this? Yeah you wrote a blog about women finding women sexier, but it’s a matter of women repeating what is taught to them about female beauty and sexualizing in out culture. But not finding men lust worthy except her boyfriend and that’s only because she gets pleasure in pleasing him? So it’s not really to do with the attractivness, and sexiness of his body or arousing aspect. It’s nice for a girlfriend to like and be turned on by her man’s pleasure and pleasing him. But I don’t think it’s asking much for a man’s body to be desirable and hot and for her to be aroused from his body itself regardless of the pleasure he gets from her pleasing his body.

    • I didn’t write that quote.

      • A woman here did though and it relates to your women finding women sexier post. EVen though I get what you’re saying when explaining some of it, posts like her comments, I just don’t get. I wanted to talk about it instead of write to her, because I doubt she’ll see or respond as many don’t get notified and I don’t thinkk I can reply to it. Anyway, how do women not acknowledge the difference between strong appreciation and sexual attraction?

        If men’s bodies are sexually attractive and a woman is straight, his body should be more attractive and arousing, and object of her lust, not a woman’s body. If it is, then the answer is in the pudding, and a man’s body is more attractive, not a womans. Some women’s answers don’t make sense and sure their idolizing and obsessing of women’s bodies can make women very fond and admire more to women’s than men’s/ But it’s interesting how women don’t or some don’t differentiate that and true visual appreciating.

      • I’ll try to explain. But you might end up more confused than ever.

        Women are so used to seeing women’s bodies sexualized, that women’s bodies just seem sexier. Even if the women don’t find them arousing. It can be almost academic.

        But because we fetishize women’s body parts, it’s also possible for women to find a body part of arousing. But still have no desire to have sex with the woman. It’s just a moment of arousal with no desire to act on it with the woman. Maybe it would be like a guy masturbating with his hand? It’s arousing but it’s not that he’s so excited to have sex with himself.

        In terms of putting together the fetish and wanting to have sex with man, she might experience her own breasts as a huge turn on to him, and get aroused through him. But in a way that she wouldn’t if you were just by herself. She needs him to desire her. Extremely convoluted, I know.

        But she could find a guy attractive, want him, want to have sex with him — and not get aroused by any particular body part. I’m guessing it would be similar to a man who found his wife attractive after years and years, but who didn’t get aroused just because he saw her breasts.

  24. I have a question too and am wondering what your explanation could be of the disconnect of media, and eroticism, movies, etc for real life as in what you saw about women pleasing men? You say in hook up culture women please men and women don’t get orgasms and the pleasing is more often one-sided. Whereas, in a relationship it’s usually more even with pleasure. If that’s the case generally, why does the media and erotic stuff, except porn. Even with porn, men are usually more “active” towards women than vice versa. But anyways everything else depicts men being more active, aggressive and pleasing women in a lustful way? Why the difference?

    That picture is one of many, and while there are others that are better examples, that picture kind of is one of many that relate to what I’m talking about. If one is to take anything from such images like the one you have here with the man and women and many others that are similar. It’s men and the man who ‘please” and lustfully pleasure the woman, not the woman. Why is it portrayed differently. If an alien was to watch from above about human life and sexual relations. The aliens would think it’s men who please women more if all aliens knew or saw was images shown via tv, movies, intimate pictures like that or erotica.

  25. I’m saying that you say women try to please men more when hooking up, though maybe not in relationships as those could be more equal. So the sexual dynamic seems lopsided as far as effort and pleasing, with women trying to please more than men. But if that’s the case why is the media portrayal, and erotica generally the comple opposite? And even if women please more than men, is that more on a basis of effort or how it’s just easier for men to get off and not special tricks or wild passion needed to get a man off? Whereas, more effort and time needed to get women off? So it’s not as much women pulling out all the stops in pleasing their man in bed when hooking up, but the guy orgasms, because it’s easy or easier to get off just from having sex even if what’s done is not much or pretty basic on her part?

    And the picture I’m talking about is the one write on this blog right here. The man and woman lying and he’s kissing her neck and down toward her breasts, ,her legs shown and her neck arched back, hips shown too. They are both on a bed. You have “showing her body more than his” written underneath the picture. Like I was saying, in movies and erotic stuff its pretty common, not to mention those erotic novels of the man taking control, pleasing and ravishing her body. So the portrayal if one is to just make a judgement purely from that is, that men are more lustful and ravenous and ones who try to and want to please women more than women pleasing their man? Sure there are images of women doing things, but it’s different generally. It’s softer, less aggressive. Maybe it’s just culture and views of it. Which brings the question is the why things happen sexually, is it inherent and biological between men and women or much or most conidtioning and cultural to explain the difference sexually between men and women? I kind of understand why, but curious why, people have a view of what’s masculine and feminine with acts of passion and how one is to act or “express” their enjoyment or desire? True you see stuff of women doing stuff to men in pictures or media or erotic stuff, but generally much more is men doing so to women and when their is an image of woman say necking or doing whatever sexually. It’s generally different and “less ravaging” should I say than how the man is going at it to her. Isn’t the men more lustfully pleasing her than her to him? You can do the same thing, but body language and positioning means more to me.

    I can’t say exactly dominance, but there’s a more assertivness and postion guys seem to usually hold and you can see with this image. You see how her legs are position, neck back, his arms firmly grasping her shooulders, her hand grabbing the back of his neck? I see a submission-pleasure part from the woman and lustful, control, strong aggression dynamic from the male. You always make points to show conidtioning and how people don’t realize things until men do something that’s otherwise female. Like the men and women swtiching clothes like you had one time. where the man was showng more skin and the women less skin showing, etc. To get my point, think of that image reversed. She’s doing the same thing to him, but in the way he’s doing it, his body positioned like hers and so. So a mirror dupilicate, but just reversed between the male and female.

    • “I’m saying that you say women try to please men more when hooking up, though maybe not in relationships as those could be more equal.”

      It’s not that women try to please men more when they hook up then in relationships. It’s that they tried to do in both contexts. Whereas men are more likely to only try to please women if they are in a relationship.

      “Which brings the question is the why things happen sexually, is it inherent and biological between men and women or much or most conidtioning and cultural to explain the difference sexually between men and women?”

      We have a basic sex drive that is biologically-based, But influenced by culture and social interaction. So people seem to have a basic sex drive that is biologically-based. Women seem to have more sexual fluidity — more affected by culture. I’ll explain why in some later posts.

  26. Is men “taking the lead” is that a natural inclination? Like dancing, it seems like even in native american cultures and equal ones, men still would take the lead. So while some of it is culture, I wonder if that is biological and men acknowledging or wanting to take the lead because of their size and women smaller. Not because they feel they are better in such egalatarin cultures, but a natural inclination…

    • I’m not sure what you mean by men taking the lead in tribal cultures. Sometimes the women would Watch the men dance and sometimes the men would watch the women dance. It depended on the purpose of the dance.

      I feel no desire to have a man take the lead in a dance, and I know plenty of other women who feel the same way, so could it be biological? If it were biological I wouldn’t be able to feel the way I do.

  27. I definitely believe woman are much more attracted to a man’s mind and face more than their penis or other body parts. I may be talking only for myself but I honestly don’t really care if a man is incredibly fit I am more turned on if I actually like their personality (as cheesy as that sounds). I also believe women are aroused by thinking about or feeling how a man touches them rather than how big their penises are. In general no genital is attractive whether it be a man’s or a woman’s but it is true that a woman’s body is much more visually appealing to a woman even if they are straight because that is what we are taught from media and I somewhat believe it is primitive. For example the Bonobo monkeys are known for how much they have sex and how they partake in “homosexual” behavior. It is completely natural amongst animals for females to have sex with females and males to have sex with males. It seems that it is only amongst humans that type of behavior is frowned upon. I am a straight woman but I will acknowledge if a woman is pretty or sexy without questioning my sexuality. I find women attractive but I love men, simple as that. And I completely agree with the last statement in the article about men feeling bad women aren’t turned on by their penises. I think men wouldn’t be able to last a day being objectified as much as women are. I’m sure every woman is familiar with being cat-called or have has some idiot say inappropriate things to them as they walked down the street. And then women are at fault because what we wear “provoke men” but that’s another issue I will rave about another time.

  28. Lets say you met a great charming guy who you really like. He seems to like you back. You are going on dating, everything is great. Then he tells you that he is turned on by naked men and guy-on-guy porn. Would that make you think that he may be gay in denial after all?

  29. So women don’t get aroused by the male body. Doesn’t that make sex with men boring? If women can’t get turned on by the male body wouldn’t then be doing a chore being with men?

    • Women don’t get aroused just by looking at a man’s body. They can get aroused by touch, connection, love… all of those things.

      When a man has been married to the same woman for several years — or even if a man has been with the same partner for a lot less time than that — he often doesn’t get aroused just looking at her body, either. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy sex with her. Tribal men don’t get aroused just looking at a woman’s body, but they still enjoy sex.

  30. Yesenia Herrera

    I have a friend who used to work in the gay porn industry before becoming a pastor. If I recall correctly, he was about eighteen when he initiated his career with straight porn but soon started taking up better paying gay porn gigs. When I inquired about whether he felt aroused by his male partners, he immediately responded that he was very much straight and, that in order to perform, he’d simply think on his female partner.
    I think we generally under estimate how much culture can influence us (with or without us knowing) so something that’s even more direct -like working in gay porn- would surely have a more dramatic effect on an individual. With that said, I don’t think it’s my place to question his sexuality, but I wonder if over time he was conditioned to actually get aroused by his work partners and, hence, didn’t need an external stimulus.
    I also wonder what kind of information is out there regarding the emotional health of straight men doing gay porn. Equally as interesting, how does their job toll on their relationships and how does that differentiate from straight porn stars doing straight porn.
    Thank you so much for this article. As just another woman who sadly finds male anatomy repugnant (but males themselves quite lovely and attractive regardless) I found it very relatable.

    • “worked in the gay porn industry before becoming a pastor”

      Wow, that’s a new one.

      Male sexuality is less flexible, so maybe he May be fantasizing about her. But:

      He could be bisexual. Or in denial.

  31. Just a correction (not to anything you wrote, but to a quote): “For instance, hetero women’s bodies were more aroused by the exercising woman than by the strolling man – though they claimed otherwise.”

    This is not correct. The women in the study did not claim to find the strolling man more attractive than the exercising woman. The opposite is true, and the self-reports and actual arousals were consistent with each other (straight women both claimed to be, and were, less aroused by the strolling man than by the exercising woman). Self-report tended to underpredict heterosexual females’ arousal to all things. Overall, the women reported lower attraction to the full battery of male erotica than arousal data showed.

    in the discussion, research is mentioned that found heterosexual female arousal to male genitalia and female genitalia to be gender-specific, in favour of male biology.

    • There was something wrong with the link you included so I took it out. From what I’ve read, the women’s bodily reaction was described as the opposite of what they said.

    • Again why are they comparing a strolling man to an exercising woman? Why not both exercising or strolling? Do we even know the particular models used? Do they even know what the scientific method is?

      • You could definitely have a point. But I’m also wondering: if they showed an exercising naked man, but a strolling nude woman, would it really make that much difference in a culture that sexualizes women’s bodies so much more than men’s? I have women students who explain that the reason why we objectify women is because women’s bodies are just sexier. Are they? Or do we just live in a culture that makes it seem that way? We live in a culture that fetishizes women’s bodies but pretty much ignores men’s.

        And I updated some research (see below) — I’ll probably post it in the next few weeks. But you might want to take a look at this (my students were a bit more mixed in their responses than what you find in this study, but the men and women were both more uncomfortable with male nudity, on average):

        Men, Women React to Male/Female Nudity
        https://broadblogs.com/2015/01/19/men-women-react-to-male-female-nudity/

  32. Pirre Katriina Blom

    It might not be that women are not visual but rather that men’s bodies are not objectified to the same extent that women’s bodies are in our society. For centuries, the body along has been associated more with women and the mind with men. Therefore, as it is the norm in our culture to see these images of women and their bodies essentially everywhere, we (men and women) have been accustomed to see, look and analyze them and thus, view the female body perhaps more erotic and associated with sex and beauty than the man’s body. I find myself comparing myself to other women; their bodies and their aesthetic appearance in general, such as their clothes or their make up. In terms of porn, it is pretty much the only thing that eroticizes penises in our culture and as studies show, only about 8 percent of women admit to watching porn. This suggests that, potentially, it is only a fraction of women that find penises erotic via being accustomed to the erotic images of the male body or that women are less prone to admit what turns them on since even to this day sex drives between men and women are looked at differently.

    • “It might not be that women are not visual but rather that men’s bodies are not objectified to the same extent that women’s bodies are in our society.”

      Yes, that seems to be it.

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