Blog Archives
When Sex = Disempowerment
Leaking selfies
Guys post stolen nude photos of famous celebs online, and it’s all about sex, right?
Men stare at women walking down the street. That’s all about sex, too.
Or, a woman is blamed for an attack because a guy can’t resist exposed cleavage — or a bit of hair that has fallen loose from a Saudi veil.
Actually, a lot of things that look like sex are really about power. Read the rest of this entry
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Once Was, Virgins Had A Lot of Sex
Daddy-Daughter Purity Ball
In its original meaning, virginity had nothing to do with sex.
Virgins were women who took ownership of themselves.
They were autonomous, complete and holding status in their own right — not bound to any man. So virgins could have a lot of sex, if they wanted to. Read the rest of this entry
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Yes means Yes: Consent is Sexy
Suppose someone you know slightly arrives at your home, baggage and all, and just barges in and stays overnight. When you protest, the response is, “Well, you didn’t say no.”
Or imagine that a man breaks into your home while you sleep off a night of drunken revelry, and robs you blind. Did your drinking imply consent?
No.
Yet a lot of people think it’s okay to enter a woman’s body when she hasn’t said she would like that. Read the rest of this entry
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Be… But Don’t Be… Pretty, Girly, Sexy
The sexual double-bind: damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
By Caitie Adler
In my kindergarten mind girls were beautiful and boys were tough. And since girls were beautiful, I was beautiful.
By middle school things looked a lot more complicated.
I’d learned that girls should be pretty. And I tried to be. But there was a downside. Read the rest of this entry
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Sex Is Best When She Likes It
When Sally faked it
By “Sex Ain’t No Game”
It’s hard to have a sexual relationship with someone who won’t accept the concept of mutual pleasure.
Here’s an anecdote containing way too much information:
Considering the tools my current girlfriend and I have, and how fit we are, sex should be easy for both of us to enjoy. And when we began the sexual part of our relationship — both of us being fairly new to it — we learned what the other liked fast.
But it changed a few months back.
It seems she’s done research in pornography, and for the past couple of months she does things she thinks girls do all the time during sex. Like incredibly loud moaning from the second we start making out. It starts abruptly, so it doesn’t seem like a natural progression.
Long story short, she ignores her own desire and focuses on mine. Read the rest of this entry
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When We Don’t Teach Boys About Sex
A shaming sexual culture
By Jayson Gaddis @ The Good Men Project
To not teach children about the sacredness of their bodies and their sexuality is one of the CORE abandonments of our time. This post is about the mess we are in around male sexuality. I am here to name it and simply put it in the open for all of us to see.
I received ZERO training around sex or my body until age 34. None. Fortunately for me, I now have excellent mentors and friends who are helping me grow up my sexuality and dive into its headwaters with open arms. But it was almost too late. Read the rest of this entry
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Nude Men Seem Less Intelligent
Justin Timberlake, showing some skin
The more skin women reveal, the less men see them as intelligent or empowered.
Instead, nudity promotes the notion that women are sensitive, “feeling” creatures.
Turns out the perception runs both ways with women seeing men as less intelligent and less competent when they show skin, too. In fact, simply “taking off a sweater — or otherwise revealing flesh — can significantly change the way a mind is perceived” say researchers.
And as psychologist, Kurt Gray of the University of Maryland observed: Read the rest of this entry
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Do better looking people have better personalities?
Beauty: Just skin deep
By Lisa Wade, PhD @ Sociological Images
Do better looking people have better personalities?
People seem to think so.
At one time OkCupid gave users the opportunity to rate each other twice: once for personality and once for looks. The two were strikingly correlated. Read the rest of this entry
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Men: More Likely to Separate Love & Sex?
sex v love
Men are more likely than women to separate love and sex, right?
Men are more interested in no-strings sex, and they are less likely to be distressed the next day.
A while back a New York Times piece advocating open relationships discussed how it’s typically easier for gay men, compared with straight or lesbian couples, to open their relationships — for that reason.
But is it true? Read the rest of this entry
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Men Have Torpedos; Women Have “No-No’s”
A Rhetorische Torpedo
By Raissa Mbassa
Have you ever thought about slang for our privates?
Some of my guy friends call theirs a “pocket rocket” or a “torpedo.”
Let’s see, a rocket is an incendiary weapon, while a torpedo is a tube-shaped bomb that’s fired underwater. Both cause tremendous destruction to whatever they’re aimed at.
It’s all painted in glorification. Victory. A magic stick of supernatural powers. A man’s best friend. Read the rest of this entry
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