Sex Is Best When She Likes It
By “Sex Ain’t No Game”
It’s hard to have a sexual relationship with someone who won’t accept the concept of mutual pleasure.
Here’s an anecdote containing way too much information:
Considering the tools my current girlfriend and I have, and how fit we are, sex should be easy for both of us to enjoy. And when we began the sexual part of our relationship — both of us being fairly new to it — we learned what the other liked fast.
But it changed a few months back.
It seems she’s done research in pornography, and for the past couple of months she does things she thinks girls do all the time during sex. Like incredibly loud moaning from the second we start making out. It starts abruptly, so it doesn’t seem like a natural progression.
Long story short, she ignores her own desire and focuses on mine.
I can’t help but feel that it’s not genuine. I’m not even sure if she is even enjoying herself at all.
I realize how silly it is to say she’s not having fun the “right way.” But in terms of techniques and how she composes herself, it feels scripted.
But it’s distracting. And it’s frankly a turnoff to feel that she’s not enjoying herself, and is only focused on my pleasure.
I try to have open communication about our sexuality, and we’ve had sex talks before, but I can’t figure out how to address the issue of, “You need to make less fake noise” without making her repress herself when she does feel enjoyment, or make her not want to give feedback, at all.
I have no problem with a loud partner, but it’s the sexual script she’s following that makes sex a one-sided game.
I may be reading too much into things. But unless someone can convince me otherwise, I’m going to chalk it up to just another reason why every woman deserves a healthy sexual education and very much appreciate when women are initiated into the concept of gender equality.
Slightly edited from a commenter calling himself, “Sex ain’t no game,” you can see the original comment here. Thought I’d post it since I think it’s important for women to understand that their pleasure is important for both themselves and their partners.
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Posted on September 22, 2014, in feminism, pornography, psychology, sex and sexuality, sexism, women and tagged faking orgasm, feminism, pornography, psychology, sex and sexuality, sexism, women. Bookmark the permalink. 40 Comments.