Objectifying and Desiring Aren’t the Same Thing?
When I was younger I wondered why feminists complained about sexual objectification. What’s wrong with finding someone attractive, I wondered?
Now I know that objectifying and desiring aren’t the same thing. But I’ve also learned that plenty of people are confused, like I was. When I talk about objectification I get reactions like:
- Women do it too!
- Women check out men!
- Girls drool over boy bands!
- Playgirl exists! (Well, it used to.)
- What’s wrong with desire?!
Sexual attraction is healthy and normal, right? Read the rest of this entry
The Trouble With Fetishes
Shoes. Feet. Cabbage. (Or so I hear.)
Women’s breasts and butts…
Women’s breasts and butts are fetishized? Yep. The arousal they spark is not universal.
But here’s the problem: a fetish can actually harm our sex lives. Read the rest of this entry
What’s Wrong With Objectification?
I can’t appreciate an attractive woman without objectifying her? Because I don’t see her as a whole person? Because I don’t know her likes and dislikes? Her hopes and dreams? If she owns a dog?
A man asked me that question when I made a distinction between “sex object” and “sexy.”
Sexual objectification isn’t about being sexy or sexual so much as being sexy for someone else while you don’t matter. Read the rest of this entry