I Wish Women Saw Me As A Sex Object
By Eric U
As a man I was once oblivious to my image, as if it didn’t matter. When viewing porn or having sex it was all about how the woman looked and whether I was giving her pleasure.
But then I started working out, in part, to be seen as sexy, to make women stop and stare and talk to me.
I did attain the sexy, fit look, with abs and muscles. But women never came “hootin and hollerin.”
So I started searching for what turns women on. Everything said they liked “broad shoulders, forearms, back muscles.” Yet it wasn’t working.
So I googled what type of porn women watch and found things like this: “Straight but masterbate to the thought of lesbian!”
I came across lesbian porn and found I was a lot more turned on by this than the straight porn.
I am in a relationship and our sex is great — in fact i love him very much. I just do not understand why it is women on women that turn me on when I masturbate.
Is anyone like this? Please help.
She got responses like this:
- I experience the same thing. In a video i observe and enjoy watching the female more than male/his parts… i used to wonder if i’m a lesbian.
- I am the same way. I still love my boyfriend and enjoy our sex life, but at the same time, let’s be honest, penises are a little ugly to look at. haha.
- I was feeling the same way as you! I was feeling kinda weird about being aroused by other women, but I’m reassured now.
It goes on…
Straight women talking about how hot they found women, how disgusting the male body was, how they masturbate by looking at women with women. Yet how romance with a woman was a turn off.
This was both confusing and damaging to me as a male.
I have spent an enormous amount of time trying to figure out if this is true. I stopped working out because I felt so disgusted that no woman would desire me that way. One day I even thought about sex with a cross-dressing man, just to experience his desire in looking at me.
What got me back on track was finding out that straight women also like male-on-male porn. That gave me some hope and I was joyful and happy again.
But after months it hit me again. Why do women have it so easy? Why can’t a man’s body, alone, make a woman chase a man into the bedroom and give her pleasure?
Back to square one, I am a little depressed, a little envious of women since my gender seems to have little to no affect on women’s desire. I haven’t worked out in 3 weeks, I feel lost in a world which I had once thought I understood: the world of sex.
This all leads me to wonder what women are really doing with men sexually, if we are not their sex objects?
This is an edited question that a young man who called himself “Eric U” asked me. He’s not the first to approach me with this concern. And from reading The Good Men Project, I get the sense that many men don’t feel attractive and wonder why – or if – women are attracted to them.
Women do find men attractive, but they don’t really masturbate to nude images of them — or get turned on in that way. I will be writing a series on this topic, addressing these questions.
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Posted on May 4, 2015, in body image, men, objectification, psychology, sex and sexuality, women and tagged body image, men, objectification, psychology, sex, sexuality, women. Bookmark the permalink. 149 Comments.