Guys and Dolls (Literally)

Guys will do anything for the dolls they love, declare Nicely and Benny in the musical, “Guys and Dolls.”

But the video below suggests guys may someday do anything TO the dolls they love. Literal, robotic ones.

I wonder how satisfying it will be.

These days men can get virtual sex in other ways — there’s plenty of porn out there. Yet guys can still complain about how lame it seems.

Will this seem lame? Plunging into plastic?

In the movie, Her, a futuristic guy connects with his OS (operating system) both emotionally and sexually (think: phone sex). Eventually, he has a chance to have bodily sex with a real, live young woman, while simultaneously having emotional sex with the “mind” of his OS. But he can’t do it. Just too weird.

In the here and now, more than 70% of both men and women prefer emotionally connected sex over sex with strangers. I’m guessing they’d rather “do it” with someone they don’t know than with a droid.

And I’ve heard guys complain about women who just lie there. Would fake enthusiasm from a bot be better?

Sex with bots?

Sex with bots?

Will our futuristic selves end up wasting lots of cash on droids only to tire quickly?

Some speculate that the reason a guy seeks out a new girl each time he does porn — as compared with enjoying sex with the woman he loves over many years, is that there is not much “there” there.

Real women in real relationships offer love, connection, conversation, companionship, new ways of seeing yourself and the world — and new ways of seeing each other.

Dr. Andrew Smiler has studied young men’s sexuality, and says most men want more than just sex.

Their top reasons for dating include a desire for companionship, connection, emotional support and intimacy. And sure, having a partner creates more sexual opportunities, but they want more.

Meanwhile, masturbation doesn’t seem to satisfy as much as sex with another person. That’s because lower levels of prolactin — which creates sexual satiety — are released when you do it alone.

Does a plastic doll count as not being alone?

Some worry over what the world will come to once the bots take over.

I suspect we will all be singing along with the Stones, “I can’t get no satisfaction.”

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on October 13, 2014, in men, psychology, sex and sexuality, women and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 39 Comments.

  1. I like your practical topics about sex!!

  2. I don’t know about you but that video just disturbed me a great deal. Not that I think sex toys are a bad thing.

    But having them look like actual actresses? It totally squicked me out.

  3. I love my pillow ! Does that count ? 😉 ❤

  4. “Some speculate that the reason a guy seeks out a new girl each time he does porn — as compared with enjoying sex with the woman he loves over many years, is that there is not much “there” there.”

    Don’t follow you. Please explain. Please:)

    “Real women in real relationships offer love, connection, conversation, companionship, new ways of seeing yourself and the world — and new ways of seeing each other.”

    This a very infrequent experience for most men. Maybe for women too. But, I am speaking as a man. Real relationships are simply either elusive or temporary.

    Men are no different than women in that we do want an emotional connection with a woman. I think most men do. At least those of us who are heterosexual men. One that is genuine and unpretentious. we don’t want to be a some default guy that a woman simply finds acceptable for that moment.

    Men want to be desired for the person we are. Our job is never finished as we are constantly expected to meet our companion’s never ending needs. Yet, we are not free to barely utter our wants, desires, needs (oops! we are not permitted to have needs), our hurts, our pains, etc.

    Further, we are always being judged and compared. You are judged and compared on your status, job, money, intelligence, height, dick size…I hear women who talk (openly) about how their husbands do not compare to previous lovers. How they would love to have the best qualities of some of their previous lovers combined into one man.. Clearly, this sends a message that their current husband is not good enough. We men are not stupid. This gets communicated to us in a non verbal manner.

    Perhaps the above is why so many men are turning to porn, escorts, celibacy etc in the absence of a real and genuine connection with a woman. Yes, maybe dolls too!

    • Well, “It’s been suggested.” I’ll have to go back and find if they have any specific data to support it. But it makes sense based on my own personal experience.

      And, there is data that suggests that couples to have the happiest marriages — and quite possibly the best sex lives, given that everyone happy — are couples who are changing and growing in some way.

  5. My mom always told me to stay away from people like that hahah. Theres no amount of artificial anything that can give me the type of love and affection I get from my girlfriend. I realize that there are a lot of people who dont feel comfortable interacting with normal people and others that just have never had success with dating but I don’t think you can truly love a fake, replacable inadamite object

  6. This is just weird and creepy. I don’t know, I think the world has bigger worries than how droids or robots socialize of the lack of it from humans that comes and sex from robots being more human like and thinking. This blog makes me think of the movie “Her”, which was pretty weird. If we have to fear robots, I don’t think it will be in the regard of lack of intimacy between men and women and the social aspect. But simply, robots killing us off. If we make robots to think on their own, we are screwed and will have created our own demise. It sounds science fiction, but I’ve heard scientists say much of what is science fiction, just hasn’t been realize, but could be in the future and how fast technology and science is expanding.

  7. I don’t really care what other do behind closed doors however; to me sex is something to share with another person because I get pleasure from seeing my girlfriend or someone I’m dating enjoys it. It makes you feel accomplished because you are able to satisfy them. I don’t think you can get that kind of gratification from a machine that you were able to fulfill its sexual needs and desire. To me using a robot is just a form of expensive masturbation. Like at said I don’t care what people do behind closed doors if they want robo sex go for it to each their own.

  8. a few things:

    – as you said, this is not for everyone, to me this kind of sex-dolls are just expensive sextoys and in the same way a vibrator is not the same as having sex for a woman, can help sometimes.

    – if you want some “conection” just wait undil this “sex-toys” include some kind of IA, that let you talk with them,

    IMO, this will help some kind of lonely guy and even girls, and even someone will prefer this kind of companion over “real” people in the same way that some people prefer being alone.

    I dont see a big deal.

  9. After watching the video, I can see how there are some benefits to having a toy sex doll. For example, no STDs, no chance of pregnancy, and no obligation to feeling like you have to do a good job. That being said, I just think of it as “lifeless sex” with no sense of connection or emotions with your partner. I agree with how it states in the article that men always want more in terms of sex and relationships and it seems like they need a sense of comfort and companionship with their partner. The rubber sex doll can do no more than provide you with a temporary sensation to release yourself upon.

    I also thought it was absurd how the man in the video was saying there will soon be sex dolls that will look like Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, etc…and that its a chance for people to have sex with “celebrities” that they will probably never see. These actresses are being subjected as sex images and objects. I don’t know about them but I don’t think I would like having my lifeless face plastered on a doll while someone gets their fill out of me.

  10. Haha I certainly love my real man…. 🙂

  11. This, I feel, is another attempt for major corporations to earn money from the interests of men. In the scientific community, billions have been spent and earned back by inventing ways for older men to regrow their hair, or allow erections to be not only achieved again, but to last longer than before. These sex robots are just another attempt to allow many men who have a self-confidence level below the floor to, like the video said, create love connections with an inanimate being rather than with a real human being. It is however a good way for those of us who don’t have that type of interest to see the hypocrisy in ourselves, because sooner or later, marriages will be held between robot and man if this industry takes off. One point I can see being made up from these Japanese sex robot manufacturers is, “Why do we allow gay marriage but not this?” because we see it as unnatural? But isn’t there a debate going on about that right now about gay marriage? This will likely be a touchy subject later on too, but why it ever came up in the first place was simply to earn money from men’s interests/insecurities.

  12. Talk about taking the objectification of the female body to the max. It’s scary how lifelike the doll is and sad that there are men who would rather have sex with a robot than with a person. Intimacy can take a lot of courage- but this as a solution is really disturbing. And who’s the guy talking on the show? “She should be 60% hotter?” I actually think he wasn’t kidding.

  13. Marilyn Jauregui

    Its amazing how technology has progressed over the years. Human dolls? Wow. Every person is different I guess.This is definitely not my cup of tea, nor would I ever prefer this kind of love compared to a humans love, but if a person feels comfortable enough to have intimate sex with an object and are genuinely happy with it who am i to say its wrong?

  14. This is just cray-cray! I mean, I just don’t see the point. This is not for me. This reminds me of the movie “Lars and the Real Girl”, starring Ryan Gosling. In it, he falls in love with a life size doll that kinda’ looks real, but to him she is very real. But unfortunately for the doll, he is a little out of sorts from a past traumatic experience and eventually he does fall in love with a real woman. Both movies end in the same way, in that he ends the relationship and opting for the connection that only a real person can give. I also think that technology has a way keeping us disconnected from one another while at the same time we look to technology to fill the void as if technology has all the answers.

  15. Jasmine Lopez Torres

    Not only was the video of this post very disturbing but it reminded me of a movie from a while back called Stepford Wives with Nicole Kidman and one of the main roles. The movie is centered around a community that’s very patriarchal. Men have their own club and later lure their wives into turning into robots. These women are also very successful women.Such as lawyers and celebrities. There’s a technology within this community that messed with these women’s brain and are turned into housewives who do nothing but cook for their husbands all day and occupy themselves in trying to look like a 50’s housewife. I don’t know how many people have seen this movie but I highly recommend it. I think that if robots being used for sex eventually becomes a fad, most people will outgrow it and somehow it will only become a sort of fetish. Humans are not evolved to become attached to superficial things. Think of the iPhone for example. People keep wanting to buy the newer version and get tired of the old versions. Similarly,men will tire (if they use technology for pleasure) of having sexual relations with a robot and miss a real breathing person to feel, touch and kiss because I think that eventually, it will dawn on them how lonely it is to be having sex with a robot.

  16. I think this kind of technology increase because this day we are too far from each other. We don’t have time for each other anymore. In Japan, where the doll was made, a lot of people don’t have much time to make friend. When they go to the train or bus in the morning to go to work, they use the transportation time to sleep. Leaving alone for so long make them lazy and lack of confident to searching for their soul mate. There are a lot of services in Japan such as cuddle nap during lunchtime, eating dinner with pretty hot girl via Internet. As technology developed, we have a lot of new innovation and sex toy will improve too. I think robot sex toy is not going to replace the real relationship because in order to have relationship is a lot more than sex. We don’t want to be alone is very nature and have sex with the toy will not going to fix it in the long run

  17. This is extremely shocking, yet very much expected. Our world contains many desperate people who would do anything for sex. Since it is proven that men seek sex more often than women, it is obvious to assume that the creators of these robots are men. They point out that almost all robots are women. This is a clear example of how women are objectified. We are being replaced my robots who have our sexual body parts for men, because apparently, they do not have enough things in the world to fill their pleasures.

    Maybe it is a good thing that these robots are being made. Now when men seek sex, they can find a robot instead of using a girl. Those men who actually respect women will get the girls and not abuse her for casual sex. Maybe men will respect women more when they find how boring the “perfect” woman is.

  18. Wow. This is extremely disturbing on some many levels. I understand the need to make our lives easier using robots but to create them just for sex is ridiculous. People need to go back to human to human interaction. Through the inventions of social media and the amount of porn out there, why would anyone want to leave the house to meet anyone? The person who invented this doll did not make this doll thinking that we are going to use it for interaction. Literally men are going to use it for one purpose and one purpose only. I remember watching this movie called Lars and the Real Girl and it depicts a man having a relationship with his sex doll. He literally took her everywhere and thought of her as a real person to the point that he seemed like he was going insane. The only good thing is that he became more sociable with his friends and family because he had a relationship to help him face people where before he was such a recluse.

  19. The video of the animatronic doll honestly disturbed me a bit. I think it’s great that there have been advances in robotics and technology, but when it is done for reasons like satiating a person’s sexual urges, I can’t say that I’m proud of that achievement for humans. I believe that there are countless ways that robotics can benefit the human race, like caretaking of the elderly and sick, replacing laborers, or doing dangerous jobs. I don’t see how a sexual doll will help the human race advance further as a race.

    The romantic culture of Japan is a difficult place. Many men and women are increasingly concerned with their careers and don’t think that they have time to date. It may not be correlated, but the Japanese also have one of the highest suicide rates in the world. In my opinion, a culture lacking in emotional connection between people breeds sadness, and that a human connection can’t be replaced with a robot.

  20. If this robot is viewed as a toy then that is what it will be. It’s just like having cell phones and laptops. You can spend hours on it, and not get tired. But at some point you do feel the need to go out and socialize. And that is how this product also will function in peoples lives. It may not fully replace the need for a girlfriend, but for the time being it may make some people very happy. Keeping in mind that cellphones and laptops are addictive. You may not be getting anything new, but you will always just keep going back cause there is nothing better to do.

  21. I think people are missing the point to a degree here. The issue is not to “replace” women for het men who have access to them, the point is simply to provide a better sex toy. People keep comparing this fancy new sex toy to “love”, when the much more appropriate comparison is the “less than epic” sex most single people get when they decide masturbation isn’t cutting it. Things like prostitutes, strip shows, casual bar sex, etc.

    One of the little “snags” feminist minded het men run into often is “how to go out and get casual bar sex without running the risk of being creepy?” Well, this may be the answer, if sex with a stranger is just as good as sex with a robot, why would I risk walking up to a variable land mine of possible social miss reads and serious consequences when I can just spend time with a robot?

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