Men = Money Objects; Women = Sex Objects
Women may not objectify men’s bodies, but they objectify other things, like social status, power, wealth, fame etc. And those things are intrinsically connected with sexuality.
Men tell me this with some frequency. The quote above comes from “Catfish.”
First I’ll say that there is a difference between women being sex objects and men being money objects.
A sex object is all about sex, and she exists for someone else’s pleasure. Her thoughts and feelings don’t matter. And so she gets used and abused.
Turning it around doesn’t quite work:
A money object is all about money, and he exists for someone else’s purposes. His thoughts and feelings don’t matter. And so he gets used and abused.
That might happen with swindlers, but not with sex or relationship partners. (If it does, they are swindlers posing as sex or relationship partners.)
Money ≠ sex, but there’s still a problem
So money doesn’t equal sex, but men still feel like they face a problem. And the problem parallels the sex object problem in some ways.
When it comes to sex and relationships, women don’t want to be only about sex. And men don’t want to be chosen just for their money.
But humans can also be strangely contradictory:
Women may fret that they don’t meet sex objects standards: they aren’t “attractive enough.” A primary way that we judge a woman’s worth.
Similarly, men can feel like they they aren’t rich enough. A primary way that we judge a man’s worth.
Real people competing with superstars
Either way, these sorts of judgments come out of domination cultures, patriarchy being one type.
Domination cultures are hierarchal. People are ranked, and we learn to value whoever is on top.
So women feel like they must look like supermodels. No wonder 80% of young women have poor body image. (And in fact, what is considered attractive varies by culture.)
And men feel like they must be economically successful. But most men don’t find themselves at the top of that pyramid, either, and can end up feeling unworthy.
Working toward loving partnerships
So, Catfish opines,
You can change the criteria, but regardless, there will be winners and losers in this game. And inevitably the losers will feel very, very bad.
Our hierarchal, domination society makes it seem that life is all about ranking people and creating winners and losers.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Not all societies follow that pattern. We can create partnership societies where variety is the spice of life, and celebrate generosity and love.
Posted on May 9, 2016, in feminism, men, objectification, sex and sexuality, sexism, women and tagged feminism, men, money objects, objectification, sex, sex objects, sexism, women. Bookmark the permalink. 51 Comments.