Wanna Know What Guys Want?
Checking out porn to see what guys want?
Women sometimes do this. But it could backfire.
A young man commenting on my blog worried that his girlfriend (his first sexual partner) had done just that:
It seems she’s done research in pornography, and for the past couple of months she does things she thinks girls do all the time during sex.
But he didn’t like it. To paraphrase:
Like incredibly loud moaning from the second we start making out. It starts abruptly, so it doesn’t seem like a natural progression. I can’t help but feel that it’s not genuine. And it’s frankly a turnoff to feel that she’s not enjoying herself, and is only focused on my pleasure.
A lot of women are more concerned with what men want than with what they want, themselves.
Maybe that’s not so surprising since women are so often taught that their job is to be sexy, not sexual, which hurts their sexuality:
- Sexual girls are often punished, which too often leaves girls and women suppressing desire, leading to an inability to enjoy sex.
- Since girls feel they’re supposed to be sexy they often get distracted in bed, obsessing over how they look instead of enjoying how they feel.
Maybe stereotypes plus #2 above leave many women believing that guys just need sex more than they do. Which also leaves them focusing on “him” instead of “her.”
All this when what he really wants (most guys in relationships) is for his lady to be enjoying herself.
Wanna know what guys want? They want you to be enjoying yourself. Genuinely.