Yes demanding the porn star experience can backfire on you it you live in a fantasy world that allows you to believe what you see, such as the people in the flick are perfectly maneuvering through positions and that perfect cum shot after she been giving you oral for an hour happens without any edits or cuts. By no means am I saying that sex is difficult I’m just saying they make everything look so smooth, as if they just glide into new positions or magically appear in new locations. This can be a burden on someone and make then not want to have sex because you expect so much it seems scripted and not enjoyable anymore. Even playing dress up every now and then like they do in porn movies is acceptable if both parties are enjoying themselves, because some people have fetishes that they watch in porn but you are still being you. The issue comes in when you are compared to, treated like, or visualized like women in the film. I have heard that people watch porn during sex if there’s boundaries that can’t be crossed but in the porn it is they can see it so the other person is still being satisfied. In this situation it’s a win for both you weren’t violated and they saw and visualized what they wanted, this is the opposite of PSE backfiring on you. The experience should be unique to everyone as long as it’s consensual and everyone is comfortable in what they are doing, sex shouldn’t feel like a chore it should be enjoyable.

I feel that this brings light to a topic that has become socially acceptable and encouraged for men to do. With the porn industry booming it gives false hope to any non flexible or “uptight” woman to feel good enough in bed. The society we live in also contributes to the way women are sexualized by men with the notion that men are superior and have to feel dominant towards woman. Men are watching this fantasy that they believe can be obtained with a partner which can put more pressure on both parties. The men for thinking womans facial expressions will look great at every angle without any retakes or editing, and woman thinking they have to try and perform like the professionals. I think once women and men come to terms with what is reality and what is fictitious the expectation of what sex is and what it can be will help make the experience enjoyable.

I can see how the post could come across as vilifying men who watch porn. Didn’t mean to. Just wanted to share these two women’s experiences.”

Yeah. It seems like some posters were vilifying men who watch porn in general instead of men who watch porn excessively and expect the PSE from their woman. There is a different between the two. Porn watching won’t end or slow for men unless women’s bodies aren’t sexualized and the dating set up is equal where women approach and are as interested in sex as much as men. Until that time, there will be many men and lopsided between men and women as far as desiring sex and how easily and frequently one can get sex. That’s struggle or atleast not easy for most guys and many guys can have dry spells and some lasting for a decent while. And even for guys who get sex frequently, with men’s sex drives being so high. The amount of sex they are getting still won’t keep up with their desire, which is why men will go for that solo satisfaction and why porn is used, for the visual aid to get off or easier. So many men, it’s not that they love porn so much, some might, but they are in a constant state of arousal and need to get off and porn is that visual medium to do it.

After reading this article, I was very so reminded of how seemingly consensual most porn seems to be. Whether it be in categories of certain fetishes that can be uncomfortable to some or in simply any representation of pornographic material, the level of consent seems to be for the most part on the same level across the board. Because of this, I found that this concept of implied consent attaches directly to the addiction that lots of men have with pornographic material; this has brought upon this mentality to many male porn enthusiasts from a young age. As seen in the examples and stories in the article, this progression in how accessible pornographic media is has given women the worse end of the stick when learning about their partner’s sexual tendencies and desires. I am almost certain that these scenarios are one step away from rape or sexual assault.

Recently, I started talking with one of my friends about erotic literature, and my friend sent me some recommendations. I’ve read some before, but they were mostly written by women, and were written for a female audience, so I was surprised when I read what he’d sent. This erotic literature was written by men for a male audience (a genre I didn’t even know existed), and was nothing more than the written form of PSE. The woman’s dialogue sounded completely staged, like most porn dialogue, and many of the acts were degrading for the woman (or women) involved. Of course, the woman orgasmed every time, even though the male narrator did nothing to help that. She just orgasmed magically on her own, I suppose. Most interesting of all, all of these male authors claimed that these were true stories. To me, it couldn’t be more obvious that the authors stretched the truth (or completely made up the stories); PSE is so unrealistic that it couldn’t possibly be true.

It’s sad to see that people actually expect an experience like this from their partners. Those are paid professionals and the things they do are often staged and unrealistic. I don’t see why you would expect someone to give you that as a normal standard for sex. People are super self-conscious already during sex and that just adds to the pressure around sex. The backfire behind this expectation is not surprising to me as people are going to be discouraged. I would never expect this of anyone and sex is what you make of it. It shouldn’t be an ideal that you go for or try to achieve, it’s an activity between two people that should be fun and different with no expectations or standards.

have to say, Dan Savage’s narrative that good partners are “GGG” (good, giving and game) and compromise by doing new things and experimenting was NOT empowering for me! More often than not, it meant I was doing things that I really wasn’t enjoying.”

She had bad partners, but this part here. It makes me wonder why she never tried bringing up what she wants or I don’t think that motto is bad. It’s only a problem if one sided, but the point of that seems for it to be the woman and man being giving and game to try new things with each other and some compromise. If the woman feels she’s doing all what he wants or it goes that way, then it contradicts the purpose of that it seems. And the previous woman, I forgot to make another comment about that dude that felt she was his and wast taking his stress out on her with sex it seems and the guy the 40 year old woman who felt it was his role to have rough sex with her and humiliate her. They both seem like mysoginist guy’s like using sex or like to hold superiority on his woman, like they might have old views of women and this plays into sex. It’s not because of dominance or rough sex, but there reason for it and how women are to be that says a lot to me.