Men Are Naturally Attracted To Unnatural Women

Pam Anderson before bleaching & surgery

Ask a guy why he looks at porn and he’s likely to say that men are just naturally attracted to women. But the women in porn don’t look too natural.

Actually, women in fashion magazines and billboards don’t look too natural, either.

Women and men can both learn to admire a feminine ideal that ends up frustrating both men and women.

Most women have to starve themselves to be ideally skinny. Many models are so thin that they have stopped menstruating. Isn’t the natural instinct to stay alive and well?

And how about fake breasts? If men are naturally drawn to breasts, why do so many women go under the knife and mutilate themselves so that men – and society – will find them attractive?

Then there’s the preference for blondes. Few women past puberty are true blondes. But unnaturally bleached hair is the top color of choice, both for men and for women who want to look beautiful. Well, at least peroxide doesn’t require enormous amounts of money or risk much bodily harm.

So models go through all their pain and suffering, but it’s not quite enough. Next, the malnourished, plastic-chested, bleached out images go to be photoshopped and airbrushed to look even more fake than they already are.

So women try in vain to match ridiculous notions of beauty. Then get depressed because nothing they do seems to work.

But the models don’t look like “themselves,” either!

At the same time, male students have told me that all this hurts them, too. “What’s wrong with me?” they wonder. “Why can’t I get women who look like THAT?”

Well, those “picture perfect” women don’t actually exist.

So women can never achieve the ideal. And men can never have the ideal woman.

Meanwhile, too many men are left feeling “naturally” attracted to something that isn’t natural.

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on October 21, 2010, in body image, feminism, gender, men, pornography, sex and sexuality, sexism, women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 149 Comments.

  1. Another great post about how the shift in appearances have changed through time. It almost seems as if women are pressured and forced to make these body changes and face alterations to meet what society sees as being “beautiful” or what they think is attractive to men. It seems like there is a misunderstanding and disconnect with all of this. As time continues to past, men are becoming more attracted to the natural features of women and shockingly, they are quite turned off when a woman is either wearing too much make up or have so many things that have been changed on their body.

  2. There is this society expectation that many feel like they have to meet in order to be accepted and participate in certain roles. I have noticed that men are getting to be more and more attracted to women with natural beauty. There are many women out there that have to pack on make-up products to change their features and once again, attempt to become a part of the norm. In some cases, us women are expected to do so much and sometimes it is a little to much. We are setting these false expectations for men.

    • I agree that standards are changing favorably. But where they aren’t, just want to point out how crazy it all is.

    • The circle of life is an arms race to mate and breed. Of course women will use any “weapon” available to win that arms race. Like any arms race, the overall result may not be optimal, but nobody can unilaterally exit the race, just like a country can’t unilaterally disarm.

  3. Both men and women are raised around their gender meaning for example if you are a girl you wear a dress or if you are a boy you play with cars. This article spoke out to me because I totally agree with how women suppress themselves to try to look attractive when it’s revolving around d things that aren’t good for their health and aren’t realistic. These changes are looked at as expectations that women should look like this to look attractive. Or that men should be attractive to unnatural women. But what if it was the other way around? I think this is more of a sex topic than gender.

    • Seems like a tender topic in that while sex (the noun) is biological (xx vs xy etc) gender is what each society makes out of that trait. And different societies have different ideals about how women should look, and how much importance they place on their looks. Sex (Verb) is in many ways a social construction so closer to gender than sex (the noun). Because societies have different ideas about what is attractive. So much so that’s something that is completely unnatural can come to be seen as attractive in a particular culture.

  4. I agree that many men are attracted to what might not be entirely real or natural. It is okay to want to do somethings to look good or your own idea of “beautiful,” but media has gone overboard with what they teach to be a real beauty. I have heard of many models starving to their bones because they are not skinny enough to continue doing their job. I have seen people wear so much makeup that they look like a completely different person when they wash it off. Men tend to feel like they have won a prize when they have a tall skinny woman with big boobs by their side. Women never think like that are good enough, and their self-esteem is never healthy because of everything they see on TV and social media telling them they are just not as perfect as the models or actresses on TV. They are obsessed with being blonde and having colored eyes because being brunette with brown eyes is just not as beautiful. The media and the way it promotes beauty has gotten so out of control that now neither men nor women are happy with the way they are and are always searching to be picture perfect.

  5. Men want women with naturally large breasts and big butts but for them to have a tiny waist. There is such a fascination with the butt nowadays, especially with celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Nikki Minaj, who have been noticed as having big butts. However, much of this came from special diets, personal trainers, and, most likely, some enhancement. With the popularity of the social platform TikTok, there has become an increased focus on young girl’s bodies. A new trend on the platform called “throwing it back” became popular. The trend is a dance move. That provides the illusion that you have a bigger butt. As a woman, I find it frustrating that every time we make progress in advocating for a more natural female body, there still continues to be unrealistic expectations. With platforms such as TikTok, there are many young girls on the app. They see these trends, and they try them and become sad when they don’t look like the trending people on the app.

  6. Men and women all have beauty standards and there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that, but companies have used these standards so often, consumers and viewers are growing tired of it because they see the same old’ type of model that’s used in all these ads, movies, shows, even in porn. I have known tons of men who want this type of woman, and honestly, in today’s world, many women are starting to look like this! Nothing is wrong with looking this way, if guys want this then fine, let them have it, but there’s no authenticity anymore. Girls today are wanting to look like the Kardashians and sadly, women today are all starting to look the same to me, and it sucks because these “flaws” that women had before their beauty altercations made them unique, and that’s slowly going away.

    • Well, beauty standards can change both for the society and for individuals and broadening them is a real possibility. But thank you for your thoughts, you have some good ones 🙂

  7. I found this blog entry very true. I think that men like to think about what it would be like be with an angelistic woman, but we are all very aware that it is not a realistic happening. The media and advertisement companies have used the gender identity extremes to increase views and sell products. For instance, Budweiser has been known to use tall, wavy women in bathing suits throughout their commercials in order to interest their number one consumer, men. This is not a new occurrence. Marilyn Monroe was used to advertise Coca-Cola, Winston cigarettes, and multiple perfumes. Because of her Goddess-like beauty, Miss Monroe was idolized by countless women and goggled on by a multitude of men throughout the nation. People are very aware that it is nearly impossible to find a being that is naturally “perfect” in every aspect, but I think the idea to use the perfections in advertisement and media will continue to thrive as long as humans crave the impossible, perfection.

  8. It’s interesting to look back and see how this cycle has consistently been repeating itself. In the present day, social media platforms, such as Instagram and YouTube, have made this “unnatural” culture even more prevalent. Lip injections, fat transfer surgeries/Lipo have become the normalized quick fix. Because it has become so normal, it is almost expected in the fashion/beauty/entertainment industry. And for the fans that look up to these people, they might experience the pressure of having to undergo the same procedures to achieve the same “beauty.” Furthermore, when male celebrities go after the unnatural looking model, it perpetuates the stereotype of men lusting over the unnatural. Enlarged/altered features, a tiny waste, etc seem to be the most common. It gives the message to the masses that this is what society’s standard of beauty is and this pressure weighs on a lot of those that experience the need for that type of validation.

  9. Women in any form of media are not as natural looking as the rest of the women in society. Even if they are natural looking in person, they are photoshopped into physically impossible body measurements and every last detail gets chiseled away to look more desirable. Waists become unrealistically thin but hips must protrude out to accentuate the perfect body. Before and after pictures of front covers in magazines are not even similar. It is amazing how much women chase after these photoshopped looks even though they can be drastically different from the model in real life. Our society pushes a fake image of women that can only be achieved through plastic surgery and proficient editing skills. Even today, our social media apps are flooded with filters that change the looks of women completely into what society deems as more beautiful. Instead of showing naturally beautiful women, media pushes the fake ideal image of a woman. This leads to a sad and misleading standard that men feel they must seek. Men are now trying to find this “ideal woman” who is not real in the first place.

  10. I find the article Men are Natural Attracted to Unnatural Women some how interesting and surprising at the same time. their. I think that is insane how men felt for models or porno women whose bodies are artificial. In my opinion men have lost sense of the reality, and have move to an artificial world due to their insatiable desire of obtain the best looking body women in their world. After reading this article, I feel sorry for the women that are constantly changing their look for a better attraction from men. What is even worse as it’s mentioned in this article is that these women are never satisfied themself with whatever change they chose to do every time. It must be hard to livi an unsatisfied life where you depend on de opinion of others not yourself.
    It’s sad how men and women care about the beauty of outside bodies and not in the inner body which I feel that is where the most beautiful characteristic of any person is.

  11. I thought this article was really interesting and made me think about the internalization of beauty standards and how that interacts how we interact with the world. The beginning of this article mentions how sometimes men who view porn then feel like the women they see in these photos/videos are what they are “naturally” attracted to; I am curious how much this shifted after internet became mainstream. It is now so easy for teens and men to watch porn on the computer, which is definitely a different experience than how it was consumed in the past. I wonder if expectations of sex and women has shifted with this change in porn source. In “Learning and Making Gender,” Dolores Davison writes about the Oedipal conflict and its more recent manifestation as the idea that “having sex with an older woman is the pinnacle of a boy’s growing to manhood.” As an industry porn plays into gender stereotypes—often depicting women as subordinate to their male counterparts. I believe that this significantly contributes to the learning of gender and men’s unrealistic and unnatural expectations of women.

    • Probably the internet shifted things. But in primitive society, inevitably children would have seen adults doing the deed, unlike in modern society with our big modern houses and many rooms and doors. So maybe we’re just reverting to the natural state when children see porn.

      • I read about kids raised in one room homes among the !Kung and the kids don’t actually see much. And it depends on what sort of porn they see. Children wouldn’t have seen Sexual violence against women.

      • “I read about kids raised in one room homes among the !Kung and the kids don’t actually see much. And it depends on what sort of porn they see. Children wouldn’t have seen Sexual violence against women.”


        “Nisa then tells about sex in her own day and age, stating many children see their parents make love in their huts at night. ”

        So not only are kids seeing sex…..

        “To her it is natural for children to engage in sex play, for that is how they learn and “grow up.”

        .they are partaking as well…..

        “Nisa’s revelation she was sometimes forced into sex play with the boys, especially when she says she was held down and “It hurt!,”

        Well, if you consider rape to be sexual violence against women, she did witness rape.

        ” this is considered normal within the context of !Kung society.”

        But then again, a little mild rape isn’t a big deal among the Kung apparently. I guess I can’t be a bigot and contradict their perspective…

        “the !Kung don’t believe such unwilling sexual acts can cause lasting harm for children.”

        Sometimes I think society just talks itself into all its modern hangups that nobody cared about in primitive society.

      • Of course being forced into sex is rape and wrong. I’m not a moral relativist.

        The kids likely didn’t witness rape among their parents even though they were not separated from their parents at night.

        Otherwise, I don’t know what the original point was that I was responding to.

      • “I’m not a moral relativist.”

        Well there is that well known religion, where the founder married a 6 year old, and consummated it when she was 9, and to this day adherents of that religion are encouraged to emulate the founder of that religion as the perfect moral model for humanity.

        I hope you would be openly condemning that religion right? And arguing against immigrants importing this ideology into the country where it can spread damage? Because some other countries have imported these people, and child grooming gangs have run rampant.

      • I would certainly condemn such behavior, regardless of the larger context.

      • So…. you’d condemn the behavior, but not the religion and not the importing of that religion? I mean, that’s all I can assume when you are asked directly, and you are silent on it.

      • Yes. That’s precisely what I mean.

        All major religions have problems but I wouldn’t ban any of them. The Christian Old Testament and the Hebrew Bible have God telling “his people” to go into villages and kill everyone and take all their stuff. KKK claim to be Christian. That doesn’t make Christians or Jews bad. Hindus have a history of calling some people polluted outcasts. That’s totally wrong. But I know plenty of Hindus who don’t practice their religion that way at all. I also know very good Muslims who promote peace and justice.

        Now, once patriarchy arose all the major religions became patriarchal. I also disagree with that. But people can and do practice all of these religions in gender-equal ways. The religion isn’t the problem. How people practice their religion can be a problem. If you interpret your scripture/religion in loving ways then no problem.

  12. Shubhreet Bains

    I’m reading this post almost 10 years after it was originally published and sadly, a lot of things written in this blog still hold true. The ideal body and beauty images displayed on media make women strive to be part of that “norm” and feel as if their natural selves are not good enough.

    You can walk by any Sephora or Ulta in a mall and you’ll find yourself looking at a very crowded store with women rushing to purchase cosmetic products that they feel will make them more “beautiful.”

    Sadly, men contribute to this phenomenon by finding an unnatural and highly enhanced image of women attractive. Most men seem to find the “curvy” image attractive and celebrities like Kim Kardashian have catered to that but it is also openly known that the Kardashians have done through plastic surgery procedures to look that way so it is completely unnatural. Yet, we still see men looking at them as the epitome of beauty.

  13. Marietta Snowden

    I would say to some degree but not all. In speaking from a Black woman’s perspective, Black men go for the natural woman as do some of the other men just on a smaller scale. The fake boobs, butt, lips are not what real Black men chase, due to the Black woman comes equipped with those things for the most part. Fake hair is pretty much the only thing that real Black women might get into. But back to Black men and the unnatural women… not so much. Black men like curves, perky breast, legs and hips. Pretty much the natural for Black woman’s natural body as a whole. When you find a Black woman getting surgeries to enhance their bodies they are just following the monkey see monkey do sindrom. But something to hold onto other than a bone is more the perspective for the Black man. Now the size may differ but… large, medium or small, the real Black man is into the robust natural flavor.

  14. The standard of female beauty in media is incredibly unhealthy for everyone. It teaches men and women that they are undesirable to those they attracted to. It puts such unrealistic standards in our society that no healthy person can compete with. In order to remove these discomforts, regular bodies need to been seen in media more often. Brands like Aerie are working towards that. They do not use Photoshop and they hire an array of models with different body types, skin colors, and disabilities. They call it Aerie Real. It is meant to empower young women and girls and make them feel comfortable in their own bodies. If it became normal for brands to do this, then young women would not feel as harsh of societal pressure to strive for an ideal body. With female body standards, male body standards would change too and men would not feel as great of pressures to change their bodies either. Everyone would be free to be happy in the body that they have!

  15. Cinthia Montano

    In today’s society the unnatural is viewed as appealing due to the constant media attention and propaganda. In Hollywood a person can have the talent to be able to act, but if you do not possess the “right” look you more than likely will not get the part. In the fashion
    industry women must be over 5’7 or they are considered short to walk the runway and are often looked over. If you have a more curvaceous body women can easily be seen as a plus size model. For women’s clothing it is incredibly difficult to shop for due to the different sizing charts that the companies use. In the media we see models in commercials eating a hamburger and men find it attractive, but if it were a natural looking woman who actually has curves they are ridiculed. I understand that companies try to find ways to sell, but it would be wonderful if more of a variety in appearance is shown in advertisements. In doing so, I believe many women can be empowered to be natural and not be critical on a daily basis regarding the unnatural ideals of society.

  16. Kenneth Santos

    The whole concept of photoshopping models to be thinner and more attractive and all the other bizarre things that companies do in advertising helps the patriarchy to be kept in order, as well as feeds the capitalist machine. Take the makeup industry for example. You see advertisements for makeup virtually everywhere and passing a Sephora while at the mall will definitely grant your eyes with a sight of an overcrowded cosmetics store bustling with customers. Women are constantly bombarded with these cosmetic ads with phrases like “Be a better you!” and feature models that are probably more artificial than real. Other ads paint these models as the ideal women that men desire which burdens women with social pressure, telling them to buy these products in order to not end up alone and because they are made to feel inferior to other women. This causes women to buy these products and in turn, keeps the cosmetic industry alive and also promotes unhealthy perceptions of the value of women. The cosmetic industry and society in general pits women against women when they are told that men love beauty in women. Other women feel like a threat or like competition. It tells them that if you don’t look beautiful, then what are you good for?

    Though, this take might be a bit too cynical. Women have every right to use makeup if they want, and just because a woman has makeup on doesn’t mean she is trying to impress men. Wearing makeup and having an attractive body is an empowering thing for some women and can boost their confidence immensely. Not everything women do is for the sake of men and that includes looking pretty and dressing up. Women do things for themselves just like men after all. Society is the one that wants to create a divide between the genders.

  17. The issue of men and women is that the “ideal beauty” does not exist. We blame society, media, and education for the sexualized view of men and women. The truth is that humans are to be blamed. We create the advertisements and television shows. Hollywood continues to make their models thinner and wear a lot of make-up, so young girls think that is how they should look. The models may be beautiful in person, but producers use photo shop or similar applications to pick out every single flaw and correct it. People are naturally attracted to the unnatural women because that is all we see on tv and in porn. Men want the perfect women and women want to be her, but she doesn’t exist. People need to go out of the box and not be afraid to be seen as “weird” or “ugly”. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

  18. Honestly I agree with this post. Most of the images that are out in the media are of women that have work done or have been retouched on Photoshop. So growing up these boys sees the images and fantasize and/or look up to unnatural woman. Granted, there are men that say they like their woman to be as natural as possible- minimal makeup, no body enhancements, etc. To my surprise men think that most woman shown in media today are natural. Unnatural to most men is someone with a bunch of makeup and noticeable surgeries. Men aren’t the only ones that are fooled; many women don’t realize how unnatural some people we look up to are. For example Kylie Jenner has been dragged through social media for her “obvious” enhancements. Up until she willingly admitted her lip enhancement, there were many people that thought she was 100% natural. The more we idolize people that look nothing like most of us do, the more woman will go and get work done to feel accepted by society.

  19. shannon r green

    Word! When we think about the body, it helps to look about life. In life, very few people have it ‘all’. I find that most people have beauty, brain, body, health, style, money, good taste, or common sense. But very few people have everything. Look at Prince Charles-short and bald. Look at Selena Gomez-lupus and relationship issues. Just Bieber has all that money in a five foot, seven body. Let’s face it. God is good, but if he gave everybody, everything, life would be too easy. With this is mind, let’s look at the ‘perfect’ body for women: long, thick, blonde hair/big blue eyes/pouty lips/clear skin/straight white teeth/narrow nose/long legs/big boobs/tiny waist/curvy butt/arched eyebrows/hot tan, blah, blah, blah.
    Are you kidding me? About one in one billion women will fit that bill without trying. Everyone else will revert to surgery, orthodontics, contacts, hair bleach, and weaves. What men actually see when they see porn stars is an artificial shell of something they may not want to acknowledge. Think about your high school. How many people said, “When I grow up, I want to be a porn star and have sex on camera?” Hopefully no one! Do these girls come from stable, upper class homes? Rarely. Porn stars often talk about poverty, drugs, unstable relationships, or all of the above. When people are on drugs, they will do anything, including porn to get money and drugs. When people have been lead to believe they are unattractive, then a fast talking porn director comes along with his hair and makeup team and tells them they are beautiful enough to star in his porn, women get bamboozled. The money and adoration starts flowing in and its so addictive that women do anything to keep it flowing. So they get plastic surgery, which may or may not be successful. If the desired results are not achieved, they just have surgery again. They starve themselves to death in hopes of fitting in a size 1 I have heard of people having limb lengthening surgery to get taller. People sit in the sun or tanning beds to get darker. Other people use skin lightener to get lighter. Paris Hilton, Britanny Spears, and the Kardashian spend thousands of dollars on hair weaves……and we still see the tell-tale tracks. These people spend all this money on ‘perfection’ and they still end up being photoshopped. Back in 2000, Tara Reid was on top of the world. Now she walks around with damaged hair and scars from botched breast augmentation and liposuction. Last week I had the pleasure of seeing Eva Mendes in person. She looked absolutely lovely from a distance, but up close she looked like a heavily made up 40 something actress…..and I was relieved. Because no one is perfect!!!

    Yes I love to rant and rave, but to get back to men and their high expectations. Perfect women are a work of a team of cosmetologists and usually doctors. And even if the work is very good, it rarely lasts. Look at Goldie Hawn and Pam Anderson. We all start to age, quickly. Meanwhile men start going bald, get beer bellies, and grow hair from their ear, nose, and chest…..and expect us not to complain. I kind of like an imperfect man. No, its not necessarily attractive, but at least I don’t have to fight these trifling women trying to steal my man!!!
    Please people, let’s get a little practical about the fact that perfection is elusive. My mom is over 50, overweight, and graying. But believe me, in my book, she is the hottest woman in the world. I wish more people look at other qualities besides physical ones. Finally, even though my mom is ‘hot’, if she ever did porn, (which she would not) I would be severely traumatized.

  20. Catherine Flores

    When some men say they don’t want a girl who doesn’t look natural and looks good without make up, what they really mean is that they want a girl that looks like girls pictured in magazines and any sort of media platform. That phenomenon just continues to grow everyday and there is a definite shame of girls who are truly natural, but don’t fit the european features that are considered beautiful. The standard to being natural shouldn’t have to be fitting the body types that are portrayed in the media because in reality, almost every picture used has been altered in a way to make the person look more “flattering” to others.

  21. I totally agree with this. The funny and sad thing is that men confuses women all the time. They say that they want to see natural beauty. Even DJ Khaled and others in their song “I’m The One” talks about how they want to see girl who’s looks without a makeup are the same or how they want to see something natural – “show me something natural like ass with some stretch marks” – yet, I found it nowadays that guys prefer girls with big booty (which most of the times is from plastic surgery), or girls that use a tons of makeup and look like these “perfect dolls”.
    For me personally, I always have preferred a natural looks and while I use things like makeup only on specific occasions I have noticed this pattern among guys that when it comes to a real-life situation, I see them “flirting” and paying attention to girls with these unrealistic/unnatural looks. So then, how do women know which way it is better – to be unnatural or natural in the way of keeping up with your looks. This just makes me confused and therefore I have came to conclusion that we should just stick to the way how we feel better ourselves. If you prefer makeup or not, it is your choice, your body and whatever makes you feel good and beautiful is the best for you.

  22. It’s interesting to read this post nearly 7 years after it was originally written. Unfortunately, many of these still hold true: there is still an ever present need to be thin, large breasts are still desired, men still want women to be hyper feminine. Something that comes to mind for me that isn’t included in this is the genital dysphoria that many women develop from watching porn. When I learned my sophomore year of high school that many female adult film stars undergo genital “beautification” surgery, I was completely floored, At the time, I wasn’t watching a large amount of pornography, but what I did see had made me incredibly self conscious of my own genitals. The women I saw had perfectly symmetrical labias, that were generally so small that they sat very close to the vaginal opening. The vulvas I saw were light in color, not much darker than the skin of the thighs. Everything I saw on the screen was completely different from what I had myself, and it confused me. Many women I know are equally floored when I tell them about this; I think it is information that needs to be more widely spread.

  23. First of all, young active people that do not consume large quantities of fat and sweets tend to have bodies that don’t carry excess weight. That is not to say that they are stick-like or have to be only models. However, men are not all attracted to the same body type or, “unnatural, runway-type” models that are usually stick-thin. My point is that men are attracted to all types, from runway-thin to grossly obese. From short to tall. And everything in between. Each person is attracted to whatever body type they’re attracted to. I wouldn’t say that all men are attracted to one specific body type. I also think that part of attraction may also be tied to particular body part, such as big butt and big breast. The world of fashion, including runways, modeling and magazines, is well outside the realm of reality in so many ways.
    Personally, I think that industry vision is distorted. The body types venerated by them are truly unnatural. I remember hearing a stat, long ago, about the average American woman is a size 13. The average model is practically Size 0. While there is a societal concern for obesity, Size 13 is far from being obese. Most women in the fashion industry are so dangerously thin, It troubles me even more than young people, especially girls are subjected to the media’s definition of beauty. We all cannot look like the population who have the traditional model body type. It’s good to hear that things are changing, but we still have a way to go. The emphasis should be a healthy balance of diet and exercise.

  24. “The women in porn don’t look too natural.”

    Anybody who would make such a ridiculous claim clearly hasn’t been exposed to much porn.

  25. Bleach hair is beautiful ??? Maybe for the porn industry and ghettos and Trailer trash but def not high class society/models/elite .. Is the girls that look like Angelina Jolie, the Megan fox, the Kim k, the andriAnna Lima, the Latin/Brazil models that are tall, slender, dark long shinny hair and exotic looking.. NOT bleach white ugly dried up trashy hair that are short and have big fat tits … Get real now… Look who is winning … Exotic, tall, beautiful brunettes…..

    • And no disrespect but study shows that 70% of men prefer brunettes over blondes … And it’s true … Brad Pitt left jennifer A for beautiful Angelina Jolie … When out in public or club have you ever met a blonde that was so stunning!? No .. They are cute and look plain AF… Right.??almost everyone is blonde but when you see that beautiful girl who is freaking gorgeous tall, slender, long dark hair, nice firm round apple butt, beautiful big eyes, high cheekbones, full lips … NOW MEN ARE DROWLING .. I’ve seen this happen over and over ..

    • Well, this was satire 😉

  26. In society today it is not uncommon to want to look like models or to try to be like them either. With all of the plastic surgery and hair dyes and make-up that is readily available to us, it’s easier now more than ever to become someone who we are not. If you were to look on YouTube and type in “make-up tutorial” you’ll see thousands of videos of women drastically changing the way they look. We as women have been told by advertisers that we need to look a certain way in order to be accepted by not only men, but by society in general. It’s no wonder that men are attracted to “unnatural” women because it’s what they see on television, in movies, and in magazines on a daily basis. Having a perfect body, perfect hair, and a perfect face are to be expected and accepted. If you are in any way original you are seen as flawed, or somewhat less than someone who is unnaturally “cookie cutter”

  27. Ha! I love this. It reminded me of that statement, I forget who said it, but it goes, “Men want us to look like Barbie but we shouldn’t expect them to look like Ken.” Like um, alright. I feel like we should start teaching young girls the harmful effects of the media. So many women in the industry have gone under the knife because that’s what was expected, and I hate how it’s those same women who preach about natural beauty (when in reality nothing about them is natural.) Besides, it’s always about what men want and men this and that, but if a woman feels comfortable with all the work she’s has done then that’s okay too. Men shouldn’t have the idea of an ideal ‘fake’ woman in mind, and women shouldn’t feel the need to comply to their wants.

  28. Ha ha ha this is true and i feel bad that it is, but how would we not if there are ads with these women for beer and sports. I actually hate feminism btw. but this was true

    • I’m glad you can appreciate the humor. 😄 But why hate feminism? It’s just the radical notion that women and men are equal in worth and dignity and should have equal opportunity.

  29. Honestly in my opinion i think all men watch porn at some point in their life. For many different reasons. For example it could be that they are simply really attracted to the porn star or that they are fairly in need of something to watch to take care of there personal needs. Men who watch porn are more likely to be found single due to the fact that they don’t have a partner to have a sexual intercourse. I feel that men in todays society appreciate and crave a natural woman because there are just so many females out their with plastic surgery you don’t even know whats real or not. Don’t get me wrong plastic surgery is great for minor things maybe like botox or fillers but nothing dramatic. It is very rare to find a woman who loves herself wether she has very little breast or butt. Men don’t always treat their wife or partner the same way they treat their mother. That is absolutely false.

  30. I believe that their is a lot of peer pressure into being accepted into what society thinks is “attractive”. Their are many different “goals” out in the media that many men and women want to follow and feel the need to fall into their footsteps. Based off of all these expectations men and women raise a really high bar on to what they want to find in a partner, either it being someone really thin with lots of curves, or someone being well fitted and built with abs. All these aspects aren’t seen in the common people in society. Usually men are attracted to girls with a lot of curves, so women feel the need to go under the knife to achieve these expectations, to feel wanted and to look a certain way so that they can fall into these boxes that society has created, and the same thing goes for men, they also want to look the way media portrays men.

  31. Its kind of strange to me that this article is just the opposite of what I grew up to appreciate as beautiful woman. In the south ( mostly in the African American Culture) A woman that had curves was considered beautiful and if you were thin you you didm;t garner as much attention. One of my uncles had this statement that he would always say and it was “Dogs like bones and men love meat” but as a kid I didn’t quite grasp the meaning until around the age of 15 but by that time the idea of what constituted a beautiful women for me and my friends was not what was on television but what was considered beautiful by ours brothers, uncles fathers and grandfathers because they what take time out and and say things like now that’s a winner or now she is marrying material and their opinions were very important.
    As we look back a few generations it was very evident that in the African American community the women carried a very heavy burden because they had to work in the fields, work at keeping the home and raise the children and also deal with a society that was not equal by any means at that time and for these reasons a woman who had the will, curves and the body that would be able to stand these tests was considered desirable and some of this has filtered down to today but the ability to see and meet such a wide variety of women these days has watered down those ideals but down south you will find that women with curves walk with a swagger and more confidence than any other part of our country. It may not be the norm in our nation but it has always been normal for me.

    • This piece that I wrote is a bit of exaggeration bordering on satire. But it does contain a kernel of truth in that what’s considered most attractive has a lot to do with a lot of fake stuff. And as you point out, there can be a lot of cultural variation. In fact, people like bigger butts nowadays than they did when I wrote the piece.

  32. By the way: there was this woman named Nora (I forget the last name) who pretended to be a man for a year, and she befriended & hung out with men at men’s places, like strip clubs and stuff, and they all thought she was a man so they opened up to her and stuff, & from her observations, she thinks that the reason men like to see unnatural-looking women in strip-clubs/porn/etc is because they respect women too much & don’t want to objectify a “real” woman. (I know, the typing of “real” vs “unreal” makes you question how much respect they actually have, but, yeah, that was her theory).

    • Maybe there are so many more brunettes with B-cups important because most women are brunettes with B cups? So statistically it just makes sense?

      And then blonde hair has symbolic meaning of “Sexy” so that’s why the guys pay more attention and effort into them?

      And yeah, I read the book: self-made man. Maybe she’s right.

      But why don’t porn stars get implants and bleach their hair?

      By the way, this piece is sort of tongue-in-cheek, reflecting some reality but not most men’s reality.

      • The average bra size in the population is actually something like a D or DD! You should look that up, there are a number of websites talking about it. It has increased a lot in the past couple decades, probably for some of the following reasons: women getting fitted better, increase in obesity, implants, etc.

        And well, a lot of pornstars do bleach their hair. If I recall correctly from that link (I’m on mobile), something like 1/4 or 1/3 of pornstars are blonde, and that’s higher than the average in the population, so it’s either blondes are disproportionately selected by porn companies, or many of them are bleaching their hair.
        But it’s a surprise that more of them aren’t doing so!

      • I’ve seen the reports you’re talking about. Those reporting it are not bright enough to figure out how horrible the “research” is for the following reasons:

        Not good research:
        . The research wasn’t scientific. A lingerie seller asked women on their Facebook page what size their breasts were
        . So women were self-selecting
        . So women with smaller breasts might have been less likely to want to say their size
        . Women tend to exaggerate to make themselves feel better
        . Women with bigger breasts buy more lingerie and are more likely to go to sites like that
        . Women with smaller breasts are more likely to use specialty stores so they won’t be included
        . The lingerie store would be motivated to tell women that the average breast size is DD: so that more women will feel pressured to get implants (because they aren’t normal) and then decorate their new breasts with lingerie
        . Remember, women with larger breasts buy more lingerie
        . The retailer believes these numbers are a result of better customer service? Gee, what would a retailer have to gain by giving that as the reason?

        The media sometimes publishes bad research because they aren’t bright enough to pay attention to what crap it is:

        Since there are practically no natural blondes past puberty, of course a lot of porn stars are bleaching their hair. And yet the preference for blonde hair cannot be biological for the reason that there are practically no natural blondes past puberty.

  33. I actually read some research that most men prefer brunettes*, and that the average female pornstar is a B-cup with brown hair**. I was shocked too!
    * (But at the same time, men were more likely to hit on blonde women in a bar, or help them out when they dropped gloves on the floor, lol.

  34. I completely agree with the idea that too many men hold unrealistic expectations for women to look a certain way, which is just the farthest thing from natural. But, I do believe that the media is held mostly responsible for putting such ideas into people’s head, especially men. I can remember back in high school, boys were constantly talking about models and beautiful celebrities, that us girls looked nothing close to. I think that men need to realize that most of these women that they fantasize about don’t actually look like that without having work done or incorporating photoshop. This can be extremely destructive to women’s self esteem, especially for younger girls experiencing puberty and wondering why they aren’t meeting these unreachable and ridiculous expectations that not only men have, but society holds as well. It is not fair that women should feel that they need to look a certain way, such as be skinny, tan, tall, etc. in order to feel accepted in society. From personal experience, I can recall a friend of mine that wanted to get into modeling, but felt that she was not “skinny” enough, and ended up developing a severe eating disorder. Not only are these beauty ideas unrealistic, but they are also dangerous, leading women to live unhealthy lifestyles and cause harm to themselves and their bodies.

    • And interestingly it’s in Hartmans self-esteem too. Several men have told me that their self-esteem drops because they can’t get women that look like “that.”

  35. I really enjoyed reading this. The main purpose to me is that men have unrealistic views on what women are suppose to look like. Because of the media, the fashion world and photoshop women are given a unachievable expectation on how they must look. This does not effect women zone, but also men. Men get depressed because they can not find a girl that is on all the magazines or walking down the runway. So, when men eventually find a women they marry, they may not be happy. This causes a reaction because it may lower the women’s self esteem. Plus, so many people rush into married now a days. Society thinks that women that look unnatural is what women are suppose to look like. Do you think without the internet, porn, photoshop, and super models women would not feel the need to look unnatural? I believe even if we did not have these things society would find a way to make unrealistic expectations anyway. Just like society always seems to find a way to make things unequal.

  36. I don’t believe that men are naturally attracted to any particular body type, whether it be natural or unnatural. Men are simply socialized to want what they cannot have, and simply put, the “perfect woman” in ads is simply impossible without unnatural dieting, surgery or digital manipulation. Women are also socialized to want what they cannot have, so we buy products and surgeries to achieve the impossible. This , of course, is the result of a capitalist system, which aims to sell products as whatever cost.

  37. It is an interesting article to say that men often like unnatural women. I have a thinking that the society sets a high standard about beauty so that women have to do plastic surgery, or bleach their hair, etc. so that they can fit in that expected standard. And then, one more factor that worth mentioning is that not all the men like unnatural women. For example, there is a type of men that like the women when she is truly herself. All those men care about is to see the lady he loves live happily with who she is really is. There is also another type of men that especially like smart women. They do not really care much about the outlook since they believe that when two people in love, they have mentally connect more than physically connect. So I believe that it not all men like the unnatural women since not all men are the same.

  38. Sorry, “ask a guy” it wasn’t a quote but it says it exactly how I thought it did.

  39. Well. Your quote says naturally attracted to women. Not attracted to natural women.
    The guy basically said he watches porn because he likes women in a general not that he likes looking at natural women.

  40. At some point in a man’s life I do believe that we are attracted to unnatural women. Since growing up from a young age all we mostly encounter are normal looking females in daily life. We might notice them in passing or in advertisements when we are young but we have no type of contact. When we do start noticing females we begin to notice the physical differences among them. Personally I remember noticing that there was something different about unnatural women. I believe the way they looked intrigued me because they were different and not natural looking since that is all I knew. However once getting to know what some of these unnatural women are about (fake breasts, nails, dyed hair, need for material items) I understood that this was just a phase and not really what I found to be attractive. (Not every unnatural women falls into all of these examples.) Even though the media portrays these women as the perfect women, I realize how comical it is to believe this. I believe that each individual man has different attractions. Some may be swayed by the media because they are attractive, however the more mature most men become, they realize what type of women they really find attractive and want to settle down with. Myself for example, I prefer a physically active and healthy woman. Someone who is not unhealthily skinny or large, who eats more than salad, but who isn’t going to eat a pint of ice cream and not be physically active and live a healthy life.

  41. I agree with the article. Men always say they don’t care how women look. They just care about personality, but they’re actually attractive by sexy women. They started at women with fake boobs or butts. And they think these women are perfect. They wish they could have a girlfriend as sexy as those women. Sometimes, I don’t actually understand what the men want. I think they’re more complicated than women

  42. This is so sad and true, ive have had so many friends my age thinking the worst about themselves and honestly that I think isn’t attractive to me. Having a low self esteem, bombards your chances of most importantly being comfortable and simply happy with yourself. Many women need to open either eyes that what theyre seeing on TV and on magazines is just pure lies. You can never look like that and be that happy. For example, I believe that as good as a Victoria Secret model looks but in her head she’s been brainwashed to be the thinnest the most perfect, but what she doesn’t understand and many women don’t understand as well there is no such thing as perfect. And having men expecting us women to look a certain way have to stop and think to themselves and separate what is real and what is not in the real world. Having young teenagers wanting to look unnatural is just disappointing they go soo far just to simply be accepted in society and to men. But that will never happen society is never satisfied, they want more/better.

  43. I for one prefer a girl as her natural self rather than the same girl wearing makeup or having surgery or any other extreme things to look ‘good’. If a guy is that way then he was stupid enough to let the popular ‘culture’ of today’s society to led him astray.

  44. Have you watched porn? Plenty of the women are natural, and many are no where near menstruation-stoppingly thin. A few gross hacked up bimbos at the top do not an entire industry make.

  45. I find all this very funny and ironic. Humanity is seriously lost. First and foremost, in the animal kingdom, the sex that carries the offspring (usually female) is the sex that has mate choice – that is to say, is supposed to be picky and choosy about which mate to choose. The human male, whose sperm is cheap and made constantly, is supposed to be showing off to US, women; now why, has the table turned? I think that women nowadays just have too much of a burden – they have to put loads of makeup on, spend hours in front of mirror – just to get the attention of an average guy? and who is to say he will be committed? and leave us stranded and pregnant? Competition is a man’s game, dammit. I will not make myself a godamn fool for some guy, and if men will be picky – for hell, I should be 10 times pickier. Im the one who is supposed to take care of the baby – this is the natural law of evolution: women choose because they have the bigger burden of reproduction. For hell sakes, Imma gonna go to a sperm bank and get a super models sperm and have a baby and laugh in the face of these shallow men. And, I don’t need your resources, either because I’m educated!


    Evolutionary biology
    The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf

    • Well, the post is a little exaggerated to get at a kernel of truth. A bit satirical. The truth is that a lot of guys seem to want this in women. But at the same time researchers found that most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive. By contrast, most women don’t find most men sexually attractive at all. (That isn’t to say that most men will never find a woman who is attracted to him. Luckily, both women and men have a variety of taste, with people tending to prefer someone who resembles themselves.)

    • Yeah, if you just want a guy’s sperm, you can be picky. If you want a father for your children who will be there for you, the balance of power is different. You notice the same on dating web sites. If its a sex oriented site, the women can be as picky as they like. If its a serious marriage site (e.g. foreign brides), the men can be picky.

      So yeah, if you want only a guy’s sperm, feel free to be picky.

  46. Guilherme Paludeti

    Based on mostly porn and modeling, we’ve sexualized big breasts and “fake” as better than natural. Kind of sad to think that a woman who feels insecure needs to go through surgery to make herself feel better, and she’s not even making herself feel better, she is doing it for others. It seems as of late that it has become the popular thing for whether its men or women to put your looks in front of your health. What people need to realize is nobody is perfect and everybody has flaws, even models have flaws…just because someone may SEEM perfect on the outside doesnt mean they are perfect in the inside.

  47. hey why my comment is moderated?

  48. I read another article saying women find men bodies ugly and unappealing, and they found women more sexy and beautiful. Well if men attracted to unnatural women, I guess its fair.

    • No one that I know of is saying that men’s bodies are ugly. They just aren’t fetishized.

      And when it comes to women, there is only a narrow notion of what is considered sexy. About 80% of young women have poor body image and feel ugly.

      I would like to see both men’s bodies and the varieties of women’s bodies become better appreciated.

  49. I love this article because it shows how women are supposed to want to become this ideal type of beauty. This beauty is entirely false. Although all this is true, there is also this ideal form of beauty for men. Women want muscular men with attractive faces and intelligence and great personalities. They want this because they have seen this in movies and magazines. Unfortunately, like the ideal woman, the ideal man doesn’t exist either. Women are attracted to the fake muscles created by steroids. Men don’t go as far as women do by getting surgeries, but they still must compete with this ideal image of what a man should look like.

  50. It’s funny for me to hear this because the two men I am closest too in my life (my husband and brother) do not share this problem of wanting the “perfect woman”. Don’t get me wrong I do understand there are many men out their like that but I think it has a lot to do on how you are raised and who you have been around. Both my husband and brother have sisters and a mother they are very close too. I think this is why they both see women as “real” and not a fixed up make believe version that is all over the media. I think if a man has many women in his life that he truly cares for in a non-sexual way this problem isn’t as big. I could be completely off here but this is just what I have experienced.

  51. I found the title of this article to be quite interesting considering the guys I know complain about how they’d prefer to date a girl who is all natural with regards to makeup. They say things like “She’s so pretty, I just wish she didn’t wear all that makeup.” However, it’s her beauty that attracted them to her in the first place. Most guys say they prefer girls who are barefaced for the most part, however, reality proves otherwise.
    I think it is so saddening to see models starve themselves to the point where they’re only skin and bones, and no longer menstruating. It is even sadder to hear girls my age complaining about how perfect a models life must be, because that’s clearly far from the truth.

  52. I agree that “men are just naturally attracted to women” – at least most men that I know. However, I don’t believe that men are “attracted to unnatural women”. If they say so, they must be big liars, desperate, or very frustrated. If I look around me at all the married women that I know, I would not select any of them for the cover of Vogue Magazine even with massive Photoshop “upgrades”. Nothing near Pam Anderson – even before the surgery! Still, their husbands seem happy with the way their wives look. Women who follow the diktat of the fashion designers and promote their style lack common sense. Western men are just the victims of that trend and probably look with envy at other cultures where the standards of feminine beauty are different: Indian actresses in Bollywood musicals, for instance, don’t seem to be starving and Indian men seem to appreciate their curves and natural features (and dark hair as well).
    It’s true that despite a change in the mentalities, advertisers in our country still use the female body to promote food products. It would be interesting to survey what men really think when they watch the Carl Jr’s commercials featuring a super sexy woman with fake boobs and a juicy burger. I asked my husband. He said that she looked completely “fake”, and not attractive. I am sure he was telling the truth because, on the other hand, he had trouble concealing his feelings of envy at the image of the burger dripping with fat! The commercial should be censored for false advertising anyway because the amount of calories in one burger certainly exceeds the USDA daily allowance! Unless she eats only one a week, that girl couldn’t keep such a figure.
    Fortunately, most of men look at real women, and not only at those unrealistic figures in the magazines or on TV. I’d be curious to know the percentage of young men who watch porn movies – I don’t mean the more mature who are too shy to question their doctor about the blue pill, but just those whose hormone production is normal. Not many I believe!
    The relationship between men and women is not only about sexual relationship and the “I want to spend the rest of my life with you” is not – only – a catch phrase to get a woman’s consent. Yes, both sexes are frustrated. Most people, women and men, need a little bit of tenderness too. The fact that men are attracted by women’s breasts also has to do with the unconscious memories of intimacy with their nursing mother, that warm feeling of security and the discovery of physical beatitude – regardless of their mother’s cup size! Women don’t realize that fake breasts don’t fool anyone and what’s the point? Getting an aching back and a loss of sensations? Oedipus probably would have spared his father’s life had he found out that his mother’s breasts had become two lifeless bags of saline solution!
    And last not least, men are not like dogs: they don’t like bones! They know that a little padding on the bones can make intercourse more comfortable. Their biological instinct draws them to the woman the more likely to give them healthy offspring – at least that’s what I remember from my anthropology class! The view of a palpitating ribcage, instead of sexual arousal, may just awaken the dormant fear of food shortage! Hence the reaction salivating in front of the juicy burger! Now I get it!

    • Well, the men don’t say that they are naturally attracted to unnatural women. Many just don’t get that they often are. And it’s funny how their biological instinct can be overcome by culture.

  53. This article is based on a lot of stereotypes that aren’t really accurate. As a man, I have never found myself attracted to an “unnatural” looking woman. On the contrary, I (like most men) prefer women who are naturally beautiful without the need for makeup, who are height-weight proportionate (medium build, not “skinny”) and who have small-to medium breasts. I have never been attracted to blondes, (though occasionally one will grab my eye), and the slightest hint of plastic surgery sends me running for the hills. I think the very notion of “ideal” beauty is lie. But so is the notion that “ideal beauty” is what men want. We want beautiful women, yes. But there are no set rules on what that even means.

  54. you know, i ‘m fed up of people talking about humans as if they were brainless sex driven mammals! we happen to be the most developed member of the animal kingdom, as we have the ability to talk and whatever, so any wannabe scientist can try and shove that! and besides the whole ideal women thing makes me think that all men care about is snagging a hot page 3 girl who just degrades herself, when not all men are like that!

    • “all men care about is snagging a hot page 3 girl who just degrades herself, when not all men are like that!”

      “All” is an exhaustive word, but I suspect you would be surprised what men secretly fantasize about, even the ones you don’t suspect.

  55. amosch it funny how this comment section is filled with women making broad comments about men based on the continual imagery pushed to them through the fashion industry. Have any of you ever noticed how much of the fashion industry is run by women?

    When I sit on Facebook and see men post images of women they find as “hot”, I tend to notice they are mainly curvy women with big butts, or athletic/muscular women who are nowhere near being Victoria’s Secret. Of course we don’t see men admiring the large/heavy-set woman, but we do not see loads admire the fake models as much as women do.

    What “beauty elements” do men admire? Men like women who want to be sexy. Women who will let out their “inner slut” and tantalize them. They want the girl who would put on the dress and heels to go out, rather than just pants, blouse, and flats. They want the woman who will never cut her hair, and would scoff at those who think pîxie cuts are “stylish”. They want the woman who would be a “freak in the sheets” and surprise him with some sexy lingerie, rather than just stick to the comfy stuff every night.

    With men it’s not about cup size, BMI, or fat percentage. It’s about women who show their femininity and sexuality. The ones who found a great balance between feminist ideals and being feminine.

    • I think many of us have been with men who are like you, AND with men who fit this post (which is exaggerated to make a point). I know I have been with both types.

      Many women and men internalize the narrow notions of beauty described here. (Many men tune in to watch the Victoria Secret Angel fashion show and many buy Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition and women in porn often look as described here.)

      The narrow beauty ideal is mostly directed at women, though, and it’s out there to make women feel bad about themselves (no one can fit this ideal) and then buy stuff to “fix” the “problem” which will never go away, promting eternal sales.

      • I agree with you. I’ll also toss in now that men are being held to standards as well…and thus we’re seeing many lonely men often deemed as “nice guys” who feel ugly, undesirable, and feeling unable to change in a way that appeals.

        These are the men who see women drool over stars like David Beckham, Channing Tatum, Bradley Cooper, Justin Bieber, etc…and then look at themselves and feel like they’re worthless because they don’t look like them. They try to go out and get dates, but their own low self-esteem fails them.

        NOW…I’m not trying to blame women here, but more show how really both sides seem to face the same issue. For you women it’s a fashion/celebrity industry that makes you feel ugly and inadequate, so you run out to buy clothes, diet miracles, and such in the hopes you might look like the fake models you feel inferior to.

        For men, we get the same on our end…only we’re either pushed to buy “pick up artist” books, or buy stuff, or work to make money in the hopes of “buying” love, or we end up consuming porn to avoid.

        I guess the moral of this comment is we’re all in the same boat, but sometimes both sides have to turn off the TV, toss the magazines away, and look at the world around them. Look at how many men are honestly not clamoring for a model as his wife, and how many women seemingly aren’t expecting their man to be athletically fit with a massive bank account.

        Both sides of the gender divide have to stop letting the media/marketing machine dictate what we’re supposed to “like”.

      • And I agree with you.

        I’ve written a bit on this. See

        David Beckham’s Sex Sells

  56. It is sad that thier is so much pressure handed to women to try to be as perfect as possible. Their are so many harmful things that women do to try to achieve these looks that men have been taught to think is ‘normal’. Even some of my friends I know have been triggered into thinking they have to look and become this ideal image if they ever want to become attractive and appeal to men. I am even at fault of this as well..I am always criticizing my wieght or appearance and comparing it to that of women that are not even real! I mean how often do you see victoria secret models or dallas cowboy cheerleaders walking down your street. hardly ever. But it is the fact that is it so publicized that women should fit this apperance to be sexy that ruins it for all the normal girls just trying to fit in in all of this. I mean this goes the same for men..i don’t expect every guy I see to be Channing Tatums look why do men??

  57. And men who like big women its cause some of them have big breast see its true another reason about FAKE n women who get them done are not all skinny women. Tell me what n where do you find men who dont mind small breasted women.

    • Large breasted women are in no danger of American men not finding them attractive. However, not all guys have the same taste.

      See these posts:

      What If Women Went Topless?

      Men Prefer Great Hair Over Big Breasts?

      Keep Your Boobs, Get Better Guys

      In this latter post, click the link where guys criticize big-boob obsessed guys (the website you’d get to is called “girls ask guys”)

      Also see this comment I wrote to another person on another post, who was using evolutionary psych to justify his own preoccupation with boobs:

      Traits that aid survival are more likely than others to be successfully passed on. If large breasts were so good at indicating fertility and aiding survival, then genes for large breasts would be passed on more often than genes for small breasts. And yet, when there is low obesity and no implants (like the US in the 1950s) 70% of women are an A or B-cup – considered small today.

      Sure, when a woman’s body weight is so low that she is no longer fertile, her breasts will be smaller, but that is completely different from perfectly healthy women who are an A or B-cup.

      Of course, the notion that large breasts reflect physical superiority was evidenced at the Olympics, where the women competitors all had enormous breasts. Or, turning to intellectual superiority, go to any academic department – Harvard, Yale, Princeton — and you’ll see that all the female faculty are of the most buxom sort.


      Even the breast-vagina (clitoris, really) connection you mention would argue for the “superiority” of smaller breasts. Smaller breasted women usually feel this connection more strongly. And it’s probably in the service of getting women to BREAST FEED (since it feels good), anyway!

      And, tribal societies tend to prefer smaller breasts (even if they don’t experience a breast fetish) because without bras large breasts get long and tubular. Seen a National Geographic lately? (Maybe that’s why we have so many smaller-breasted women today.)

      Also, I was referring to the BREAST FETISH, not general attractiveness – and I think most people got that. (I specifically used the term “breast fetish” in the post). There’s no fetish involving waist-hip ratios.

      People often use evolutionary psychology to justify the status quo. In this case, justifying US men’s obsession with big breasts – “They can’t help it, they are just looking for the best genes” — a fixation missing in many parts of the world, like Europe.

      Do you get that if men in our culture preferred small breasts, all of the above would be used to explain that status quo?

      Who cares if the obsession unnecessarily objectifies women and crushes their self-esteem (almost no women feel good about their bodies, and a perceived failure to live up to the standards of the big breast fetish is one big reason why). It also leaves many wonderful women out of the running – while leaving many men missing out on wonderful mates, even as the big breast fetish leads too many women to do UNHEALTHY things like get breast implants.

      Here’s another reason why objectification and the big breast fetish hurts men, by the way:

      Does Sexual Objectification Lead to Bad Sex?

      • Do a article on do men like small breasted women

      • Cool n let me know

      • In case I forget, you can subscribe to the blog if you like. (See bottom of the right-hand column on this page)

      • And a article on men over 40 who dont got it bodywise but perfer women with breast and big butts in facebook u will find women posting themselves. I knew men like that n i dated one he had no butt n was small i did not mind. But he did he would look at women who dressed with short shorts n small tops n they were young women 20s and some 30s. To me he liked trashie women how sad i am a mom i dont dress like that i know better i have teen daughters n they dont like dressing that way thank you. Please Help me

  58. Not all men want blond hair its the BODY of a woman that matters to them

    • True, not all men like blonde, but some have a huge preference for it.

      Some men care more about hair or face than boobs. Others have strong pref for boobs.

      Some like fake women. Others natural. (My post was a bit of an exaggeration to have some fun with an interesting point.)

      I’m glad there are varieties of men who can appreciate varieties of women.

  59. Men love those fake women they gaga over them. But i dont understand some of these men are not all that but want women with all that. I knew one man like that he was not all that body wise n not big at all but i liked him but he wanted more in a woman. When we were together he gaga on women who dressed with short shorts n showed off there breast. That why women go FAKE. Women noticed mens eyes in what they look at n gaga over. HELLO its no lie

  60. I’m sorry, but men aren’t attracted to skinny blonde women with fake tits. Well, some are, but I think most men won’t actually find that attractive. It’s just a silly stereotype. It’s a very ’90s cliché. It’s like saying “women are attracted to firemen and men in police uniforms”, it’s generally not true. I’m a male and none of my friends are attracted to skinny women with fake balloon breasts with blonde hair. Me and most of my friends are generally attracted to women on the thicker side. You’re kind of stereotyping men and making us out to be some kind of caricature. Talking about thin super models is pointless, super models aren’t supposed to be attractive to men, they’re suppose to model clothes. Super models are simply meant to be clothes-horses. I don’t know any man who is sexually attracted to those super skinny models on the catwalks. The mainstream media is not a very accurate representation for what people actually find attractive.

    • Thanks for your input. Many women will be relieved.

      And yes, I know that what you say is true. The piece is a bit of satire, exaggerating the respective truths that: It IS true for some men, or that parts are true for some men (preference for blonde or buxom), and that most women believe it to be true.

      • I know that a good deal of this problem is our current culture but it is also adults around children. Sometimes they don’t watch what they say. I actually remember being very little wishing I had blonde hair and a different name. This is a memory from being around 4 years old. It was me hearing my mother dote on a blonde blue eyed girl named Ashley that lead me to it. As I grew older I noticed the males of my family were attracted to blonde large breasted women. I thought this is what I need to be beautiful and loved.

      • So sad.

        Luckily, a lot of guys are different. But some do prefer unnatural women. Luckily, the best guys don’t!

    • Lots of men are attracted to super-thin women. For myself, large breasts and hair colour doesn’t matter much. Thinness is all that really matters. Super-model thinness. Sorry girls.

  61. While there is a great deal of truth in this article, the other side of the coin is that If you walk down the street of many foreign countries – probably where their eating habits are healthier and less full of processed foods, you see a ton of women who do fit that ideal stereotype, of size 6. Russia, Asia, many places. Since they are often pushing prams too or holding onto kids, I take it that this is quite their natural weight.

    As for hair, it was very normal in soviet Russia for women to blonde their hair. You can’t blame that on western media or porn culture.

    • Well, the ideal stereotype is skinny and big boobs. How does a woman manage to be skin and bones and have an enormous amount of fat in her chest? And you can’t compare ethnicities. For instance, African-American women have more muscle mass and Asian women have very thin frames (and they still don’t look like the ideal).

      And consider what Victoria Secret models do to look that way (one quit when her niece said she would quit eating, too, so she could be pretty): After that, they’re photoshopped.

      And yes, you can blame Western culture for Russian blonde hair. Very few women past puberty have naturally blonde hair, and Western culture has managed to permeate the planet.

      • I don’t see people saying supermodels are unattractive, and since they have small boobs, I don’t think stereotypes unequivocally demand big boobs.

        You say women can’t look like what men see in porn. But very few porn women have boob jobs. Porn women are normal women, albeit not necessarily average ( I mean, show business was never about being average). Victoria secret might be air brushed (I have no idea), but porn isn’t.

        I mean the same argument would demand that Hollywood ought to hire ugly actors and actresses, otherwise men will feel they must find Scarlett O’Hara and women would wait to find Rhett Butler.

        I think soviet Russia was pretty much isolated from western culture. The reality is, platinum blond IS more attractive than dirty blonde. And black is more attractive than dirty brown. Its not the media who made it thus. Not everything is a media plot. 🙂

      • I’m afraid you mistook my satire for science.

        Otherwise, I must say that plenty of porn stars have implants. Certainly the majority of those I’ve seen. Implants were first used in the sex industry, in fact. See this short interview with someone who’s researched the history of breasts.

        And it does affect men. See this: Men Finding Fewer Women “Porn-Worthy”
        It also affects women’s self-image, whether it affects all men or not. See: Sexual Desire & Sexism

        That said, I agree that most people, including me, find small-chested (ideally 34”) runway models gorgeous.

        I disagree that platinum is more attractive than dirty blonde. My opinion: Angelina Jolie is way more attractive dirty blonde.

      • If you define “porn star” as famous names, perhaps many have boob jobs. But for porn actresses, most of whom aren’t stars, not many have boob jobs. No doubt it was different in the 70s and 80s.

        I think Angelina Jolie is a natural brunette, but she changes her hair colour so often it’s hard to tell. Brunettes don’t look right as platinum blondes. But you know that whatever colour she has, it was carefully managed by a hairdresser costing thousands of dollars. Even when she is dirty blonde, it is a very uniform color unlike lots of real dirty blondes. The uniformity and distinctiveness of a very clear colour, is why it looks better. Funny you would hold up Angelina Jolie to support you who changes her hair colour more often than her underwear!

      • Where do you get your info on lack of boob jobs. Nearly every porn actress I’ve seen clearly has them.

        The fact that Angelina changes her hair color allows us to see that she looks better one way than another.

  62. Marcus Coleman

    I can truly say I am not that guy. Porn is unattractive to me because the girls are so fake. The people around me think that I am crazy because I like flaws. My favorite kind of girls are the ones that have flaws but they embrace it and make the best of it.

  63. Gabriella Souza

    I loved this article! I truly believe that many people in our society are disordered from trying to obtain an unrealistic figure. Women in fashion magazines, billboards and movies are very unnatural. The ideal woman presented to all of us is completely flawlessness. Like you said, “women try in vain to match ridiculous notions of beauty.” And yes, they are ridiculous because we know that not only they are unnatural, but also are “fixed” with tons of make-up and Photoshop.

    I believe that this unrealistic ideal woman is negatively affecting women’s self-esteem. To be honest, sometimes I find myself not happy with my body and my appearance, especially when comparing myself to models. Luckily, I have a boyfriend who constantly tells me that I am beautiful and tries makes me feel confident. So I try to always remind myself to be thankful for what I have, and to feel good for being exactly who I am. After all, I believe that true beauty comes from within.

  64. Clothing designers want models that are human clothes hangers with attitude. They want all the focus to be on their designs, not the persons wearing them. Catwalk models represent roughly 1% of the female population in height and weight. These models are then plastered everywhere in ads and magazines.
    People look heavier on camera than they really are. Actors are forced to lose weight or work out so that they look “sexier”. Ad people and most film makers are more interested in selling their products than in representing real humans in real situations.

    Adults and children alike are confronted with these unnatural images everywhere – TV, billboards, movies. When something is repeated continuously, people begin to believe it is true.

    My youngest daughter was asking for blue contacts and to get her hair bleached by the time she was 7 in spite of my careful screening of what she was exposed to. I had to explain to her over and over that what she was seeing all around her was fake and unnatural. I was also careful to point out to my son when a woman has had a boob job – those ridges under the skin at the edges of the implants – that’s sexy? Yuck!

    People need to take responsibility for what they believe and what they teach their children. We could also boycott the worst offenders and started demanding an end to what is truly discrimination against 99% of US females. Women are more than 50% of the US population and spend the most money on food, clothing, and other everyday items. We have the power to change things by carefully choosing who we give our money to.

  65. I completely agree with some of the other comments posted Men say they are attracted to natural, yet they go for the women who have coke shaped bodies and tiny hips, large breast, long slender legs and a big butt. There are some girls that can work out and eat right and naturally have that body, but most women don’t they have to kill their bodies just to feel attractive enough to men. Men that “holler” at women, or show attention to sexy women, other women notice and look at the women that are “perfect” and they try to be like them. I use to be one of these women who tried to look like these Sexy model type women, but it was all fake. I always hated the freckles on my face, or different things of my body, I use to take diet pills, dye my hair, get my nails done, wear clothes that I saw on TV and wear a lot of make-up. Yeah I got a lot of attention by guys, but they never took me seriously until they got to know me. My boyfriend helped me realize that all the stuff I did to my body was not natural and natural it more beautiful than a face you put on. I have an amazing boyfriend who got me to the point where I am comfortable with my body and I don’t like wearing all the makeup I use to or all the things I use to do to myself. Unfortunately a lot of women don’t have the man that will tell you you’re beautiful or sexy when u have no make-up or you have a dress on so short you butt shows and have boob implants. A lot of guys wonder why women are so self-conscience but they are the ones who set the images that for us to look like, then they get mad when we make our selves look like what they want.

  66. Tatiana Dehnad

    It is unfortunate that we live in a society where both men and women have unrealistic perceptions and are attracted to the ‘unnatural’ male or female; a main factor of this is the way that society portrays them on magazine covers, on television and billboards. Even though I believe times are changing and people are beginning to accept the more curvy, natural, not disgustingly skinny look–there will always be those who aspire to either be one of those ideal/unnatural people or dream of being with one. It is truly sad, shallow and pathetic that society makes people, women especially, feel inadequate if they do not resemble the billboard of the twig thing super model. I think that if men think twice about what they see in magazines and on television, they will realize that a lot of make up-touch up work is done in the behind the scenes work to make these people look desirable. Not to take anything away from those who are naturally beautiful and do have fabulous physiques, but the reality is most of us do not live up to this expectation and standard set by society. It is a double-edged sword in that if you go out of your way to do implants, plastic surgery, etc. you become that ‘unnatural woman’ that some men turn away from; however, if you do not give into societal pressures you may be viewed as unattractive. All in all, I think that with time and a reality check, men and women alike will realize that the images we see are deceptive and unreal.

  67. Anthalanette Andrews

    Being that I had a tragedy at age 2 which I have had a total of 94 surgeries I refuse to be cut on anymore. I believe that if a man cannot accept me for who I am then shame on him. My question is would a man be willing to make any physical changes for me or would it be I must accept him as he is? Despite all of the surgeries I am still a very attractive woman who doesn’t look my age, and constantly get compliments on how sexy I am. In regards to this blog I must agree that from observation daily I see where men will chase an unnatural woman down before even looking at a natural and attractive woman. Contrary to this I also have seen some men that prefer natural. Natural hair, natural nails, and the natural body that they were born with. As a woman I feel that there are lots of demands, which can be quite difficult to keep up with at times.

    • You’re right. Many men prefer natural women. And I prefer the men who prefer natural women.

      I was exaggerating to make a point. 🙂

      Thanks for your perspective and for sharing your story.

  68. Women especially in Hollywood get breast implants and try to be something they’re not. They get caught up and want to look like the women in magazines. The thing is no one looks like that because the women and men in magazines are airbrushed. No one is really satisfied with how they look. It would be nice to find role models who are proud of the skin they’re in. The objectification of women must stop. Both women and men should be able to enjoy sex without being objectified. No one’s self esteem should go down but that ends up happening for women for some reason because they are seen as giving up their virginity. Men are gaining it. But men are giving their virginity up as well. The double standard rule is bogus. Women have got to stop calling each other sluts because then that makes it okay for men to call us that. I was reading the book Fear of Flying by Erica Jong. Her character has been with a couple men. I’m not sure if she had sexual relations on the first date but when reading the book, I did not think she was a bad person for having many male partners. She felt she was capable of being with whomever she wanted just like men are. She did end up falling in love with most of them. It was hard for her to de-tach her emotional feelings from the men she had sex with.

  69. I agree that men are indeed attracted to the “unnatural woman” but that is simply because men are bombarded with images and ideas from the media but women also have a choice to conform to the ways of the world or not. My girlfriend is not blond, not tan, and not obnoxiously skinny and I love her all the same, I love her inside and out but she is not an “unnatural woman”. Now I understand that I am just one man, and to be completely honest I also find women in magazines attractive too, but these women are not realistic so men must find the natural woman attractive? I think women should always go natural and the more women who make this choice to go natural would lead the media to accept that as the norm.

    • I hope you’re right. But you definately do get two-way effects such that women, bombarded w/these images internalize them unconciously (that is, society’s ideals end up in womens and men’s heads, and it all seems so “normal”). So the images end up having effects on both women and men. The only hope to overcome them is getting outside the unconcious part. You can’t critique or do anything about something you’re not aware of. You don’t even have a choice when the awareness is unconcious.

  70. Society and peoples ideas have ruined any chance of women being “natural”. The stick figures you see in magazines don’t look natural because a vast majority of women nowadays have curves. The only thing that the media does for women is make them feel like they are inadequate if they are not up to the standards they set. For men it gives them this ideal that what they show them is what their women should look like. Everyone has different tastes and standards as far as the opposite sex goes and it is our job to just take a stance and say,” We like what we like and thats it.”.

  71. caitlin scaglione

    I found this very interesting to read and very true. Our society puts so much pressure on young girls and women. Young girls are around barbies with the “perfect body and hair,” or the Princess movies/shows where girls are protrayed as picture perfect. Then as they start to get a little older the same thing is shown for an older age group. Magazines, movies, and shows all have women as a size 0. Then even later on in life there are other reality shows they protray women as those with the perfect body. For example, The real housewives of Orange County. Those women have so much money they can afford to spend money on plastice surgery, clothes, or hours at the gym. It is not realistic for the majority of women, nor should it be protrayed as so.

  72. My opinion on this issue of men and women pursuing the ideal beauty that does not exist is simple and straight to the point. We can blame society, media, education and you name it, but the truth is that us humans (men and women) are to be blamed because we are the creators of society and only we can fix this problem. We all know that billboards and magazine models wear 80 lbs of make up and top it off with photo shop or similar applications, yet we chose to be ignorant about the truth and voluntarily choose to chase this lie or fantasy of this so called beauty. What people really need is not to be treated as babies in order to avoid hurting their “precious little feelings”, but to be up front with the real issue. The issue is people not growing a spine and grabbing a hold of their life. For example, in the way Mary Wollstonecraft, Martin Luther King Jr, Martin Luther and Abraham Lincoln did. These role models did not allow the norm or culture of their society to dictate their fate or their society, instead they dictated what society or their circumstances ought to be.

    • People are largely blind to the extent to which they have internalized the notions of their society. Many think of it as being brainwashed. Though related, internalization is different. It means that the way things are in society seem normal, eternal, and remain unquestioned. The only way people can overcome their blindness is to see the social underpinnings of their thoughts.

  73. This is always a huge concern to me. I watch both my brothers lust after women that barely look like they’ve hit puberty — narrow hips, <10% body fat, and subsequently very few of the curves that women are naturally bestowed for child bearing and rearing. Though there is nothing wrong with women of this natural shape, my problem arises in two areas A) how much ladies (like the many past girlfriends of my brother) alter their lives to achieve this outlandish look B) how the mass media chooses to revere this sort of image/woman as the ideal, and bastardize those who are larger than a size 6. As you mentioned Ms. Platt, many women, when striving for an ideal weight, lose their period — therefore temporarily their ability to have children. I have seen many women who are having problems conceiving or having complications with their pregnancies due to a lack of sufficient body weight, and yet that body weight is the standard ideal for women. How can that be something a man instinctually wants/ is attracted to? We all feel the need to reproduce/copulate, and naturally our brain draws us to healthy, fit beings, but not in the case of many (not all) men today — including my brothers. I don't see how this trend (of unobtainable skinniness) has lasted as long as it has… especially since it harms both parties. Women can't achieve the body/look that they want (because it's literally been materialized by the mass media) and men can't find a mate/woman that matches the women they see on the billboards, pornos, blockbusters, or music videos because no woman can naturally be like that (and even those very few who are very close, still get retouched and have a personal trainer).
    It's a horrible cycle, and a great stress on both men and women. I have tried to exempt myself from this "competition" but with images perpetually being hammered into my face, one can never help but be compared to the iconic yet impossible idea of what a woman should look like.

  74. Darlene Pizzitolo


    I think the powerful people who control the U.S are responsible for the unnatural images men and women see every day in the media and magazines. When men see these kind images they think women should look the way the unnatural women look, and women buy into this image because they are trying to emulate what society want. Women should except the natural beauty God has given them, and women shouldn’t worry about the unnatural plastic look that they want us to have.

  75. Men, at men in the western region of the world, are possibly only more attracted to this type of women simply because of their exposure. Many of the ads in sport magazines and commercials during male targeted programs feature society’s version of beauty. On a different note, when us women try and become this idealize version of beauty some men will refer it to being “fake”. Women wear makeup as a self-esteem booster and many women wouldn’t have to if society was more open minded. Is it really beautiful to not look as you should? Men, then occasionally complain that the woman is wearing “too much makeup” or “it doesn’t look natural”. There version of the “ideal” woman is the ideal for perfection which no one can possibly obtain.

  76. I have to agree with the implication that men are overly influenced by the bodies the ysee in porn and other male magazines catered to what they are supposed to like. I would go as far to say that we as women are influenced as well, by those same things and not just on what we should look like but what our men should look like. Furthermore, we are told by magazines, movies, books and the like about this ideal of what love should feel like and look like. I don’t know about you ladies but I feel disappointed sometimes when my guy doesn’t bring me flowers or notice how pretty I am when I want him to. I grew up watching these movies that told me a man doesn’t truly love me if he is not fawning over me and begging me to marry him. But this is not reality either. These are also stereotypes of relationships we all feel we should have. Porn sells us a distorted view of women and men, as well as what sex is supposed to be like. Yes. But it would not be so popular if we didn’t buy into it. I disagree when some “posters” have implied that all men only want one body type because I am not that body type and I always feel sexy and wanted by the man in my life. I personally think that we all have a lot of growing to do men and women. We have to let each other out of the jail that is the “ideal” person and be completely happy with what is reality.

    • Yes, I agree with your points.

      Women and men both have their ideals that don’t fit well w/reality.

      And, I agree that not all men and women are led by the nose on these ideals. But plenty do. And plenty of women feel inadequate if they don’t “measure up.”

  77. Men finding fewer women “porn-worthy”-I agree with men thinking women are supposed to look a certain way because of the women they see on porn and the women they see in magazines and on television. They make the women look so beautiful by airbrushing them and dieing their hair and getting plastic surgery. It makes them think well why go for a this girl when there a prettier girls out there like the ones on tv, so they start to compare a lot of women to the “fake” ones. It’s not like the guys even know those women are fake and it’s funny how a lot of men say they like all natural girls that don’t need a lot of make up or fake boobs, but when it comes down to it and they have a natural girl they still think the “fake” ones are better looking. Which starts to affect me because it makes me feel like i’m not good enough, i’m not skinny enough, my hair’s not perfect and I don’t have good enough clothes, it really starts to take a tole on me and i’m sure other women, and the men don’t really understand how I or we feel.

  78. I loved reading this because it is so very true and if a man says it is not, most likely he is not telling the truth. I have been with the same guy for over 7 years now and he still tells me I am beautiful. I am not a “skinny” woman and I have long dirty blonde hair that I have only gotten highlights in twice. He tells me he would much rather be with a woman like me because I am “real” and because he would not know what to do with someone so superficial. Maybe he is one out of a million, but even if he were to say that he doesn’t get turned on by “fake” women in the media etc, then I would not believe him because he is a man and yes, men are attracted to unnatural. As far as models go, I think it is so sad that they have to be so skinny and malnurished, and that their mothers would allow it. I walk by stores all the time that cater to women not girls, and still their manikins are tiny! Most of the time their large is a junior large. Anyway, I love the way I look and will continue to embrace it.

  79. I would have to say that the media really brings out this fasination to both male and female. The media is really and basically taking charge of what the definition of “beauty” really is even though it’s fake and very dangerous by putting your life and health at risk, but not many people know that. I bet that if people would spread the word on the health risks and the true lives of Super one would want to be one of them and would change their mind and be happy about how they look right now . I would have to point the finger at the media because they are the ones who are imposing on the outsiders of what “beauty” is or should be.

  80. I think its funny that men all want this ideal women, but also say they want a woman who eats meat and real food not just salads. However, if the girl has the body of someone who eats meat and real food they are”fat”. It is such a double standard. I think it is a good thing for women to take care of themselves and their bodies but not to the point that they stop eating and go under the knife to look like something unreal. On the other hand, you have the women in the media who do not care what other people think and they rock a full figure, for example Queen Latifa or America Ferrera. This is a beautiful thing to show, especially young impressionable girls, that not being a size 0 is accepted too.

  81. For men to say that they are attracted to natural women is a lie. Men want the “perfect woman”. Blonde hair, tan skin, perfect body, good complexion and teeth, big boobs, and a butt. Most women don’t look like thisnaturally. They spend hundreds of dollars to get their hair done, get their nails done, get a fake tan, and even possibly get boob jobs, etc; just so men will want them and they will feel good about themselves. Men make women want to be perfect, but then men feel that they can’t get girls who are that perfect. Maybe if men wern’t so picky about the way women looked, woman wouldnt feel the need to be so perfect!

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