Category Archives: sex and sexuality

I Wish Women Saw Me As A Sex Object

Objectification side-by-side

In the video that this still illustrates, the girl comes across as sexy. The guy comes across as weird.

By Eric U

As a man I was once oblivious to my image, as if it didn’t matter. When viewing porn or having sex it was all about how the woman looked and whether I was giving her pleasure.

But then I started working out, in part, to be seen as sexy, to make women stop and stare and talk to me.

I did attain the sexy, fit look, with abs and muscles. But women never came “hootin and hollerin.”

So I started searching for what turns women on. Everything said they liked “broad shoulders, forearms, back muscles.” Yet it wasn’t working.

So I googled what type of porn women watch and found things like this: “Straight but masterbate to the thought of lesbian!” Read the rest of this entry

Evolutionary Psych’s Double Standard

The double standard.

The double standard.

Evolutionary psychology says the sexual double standard dwells within our genes: men are naturally polygamous and women are naturally monogamous.

It can’t be helped.

Unfortunately, the theory harms women’s sexuality. And unnecessarily, because the theory has some problems. Read the rest of this entry

Women’s Lower Sex Drive Isn’t A Problem?

headacheResearch consistently shows that women have a lower sex drive than men.

But maybe it’s not a problem?

While 44% of US women report sexual problems, most commonly low desire, only 12% are bothered by it.

If you don’t care, what’s the problem? Read the rest of this entry

Women Crave Sex Less Than Men?

Do women crave sex less than men?

Do women crave sex less than men?

Is it sexist to say that women crave sex less than men?

Some think so. Like this woman:

Why do people still believe this crap? It makes you feel abnormal if you are a woman with a high sex drive or a man with a lower one.

She’s got a point: some women do have a higher sex drive than some men.

But crunch the numbers and men are generally more interested: Read the rest of this entry

Modesty Objectifies Me

modesty

Her body is all about sex.

You’re not going out dressed like that!

With those words, parents seek to protect their daughters from objectification: being seen as one-dimensional “things” that exist to titillate men.

But the attitude could help to create objectification.

A conservative Christian who calls herself Sierra says that a preoccupation with modesty had once objectified her.  Read the rest of this entry

Pleasure + Wound vs Pleasure + Love

Painful relationshipsI’m in a relationship with a long-term partner who wants a threesome — he says it would just be fun and wouldn’t mean anything. I laughed it off and said I wasn’t into it because I’m a monogamous person.

But we went camping and all I heard about were the hot bodies around us — and joking about getting into someone else’s pants while I’m at work, just to see if fantasy lives up to reality.

I don’t know what to do. Honestly, I’ve never found anyone else attractive. Plus, the true love bit [insert violin music here].

I’m getting worried that he doesn’t love me anymore and wants something better. This worries me because although I may not be the one for him he is definitely the one for me… Its like my soul loves him as much as my heart does.

I don’t know what to do.

Read the rest of this entry

Men, Women & Domination Fantasies

50 Shades of Grey

50 Shades of Grey

How similar are men and women’s sex fantasies when it comes to sexual domination?

I’ve already looked at gendered similarities and differences in romantic fantasies, sex with strangers and multiple partners. But what about fantasy when it comes to dominance and submission?

I used University of Montréal research, which had looked at how common different sorts of fantasies were, to make a sex comparison. Read the rest of this entry

Should Women Give Men The Porn Star Experience?

The porn star experience?

The porn star experience?

A lot of guys have come to expect P.S.E. [the “Porn-Star Experience”] … and plenty of women are more than happy to oblige. A few might enjoy it, but for most it’s harrowing. I think there’s a fear that if they can’t make it happen, their boyfriend will retreat online.

Read the rest of this entry

Who Wants To Be A Piece Of Tail?

A piece of that?

Want a piece of that?

• Piece of tail

• Piece of ass

• Piece of “that”

That’s how a sexually attractive woman might be described.

Well, “attractive woman” is an overstatement. Attractive body part, maybe.

The whole woman isn’t wanted. Just a piece of her.  Read the rest of this entry

I Can’t Stop Staring At Other Women

He's all eyes.

He’s all eyes.

Looking at other women has become a big problem for me.

I want to learn how to stop. I mean no harm, but it upsets my wife and hurts her. She says I lose touch with reality and become a different person — and don’t even notice her.

That’s from a 42-year-old man whose been married 16 years. He’s totally satisfied with his wife, he says, and has no interest in anyone else.

But he feels he has no control over his ogling. Read the rest of this entry