Women Crave Sex Less Than Men?
Do women crave sex less than men?
Is it sexist to say that women crave sex less than men?
Some think so. Like this woman:
Why do people still believe this crap? It makes you feel abnormal if you are a woman with a high sex drive or a man with a lower one.
She’s got a point: some women do have a higher sex drive than some men.
But crunch the numbers and men are generally more interested:
- Men consistently report higher levels of sexual desire than women, on average
- More women than men have experienced dysfunction (43% vs 31%): no or low interest, pain, difficulty climaxing or an inability to orgasm
- About one-third of women under age 35 frequently feel sad, anxious, restless or irritable after sex
- Men have more fantasies, describe them more vividly, and more typically want to enact them, says research from the University of Montréal and the University of Texas at Austin
- 58% of women in their 20s had an orgasm the last time they had sex, compared with 96% of men, says an Indiana University survey
- One study found that only 29% of women always climax with their partners.
- And orgasmic women often need a vibrator
But society — not biology — seems to be the problem, as I’ve written about before.
Really, what’s sexist are the many things that punish women for desiring sex. Which ends up depressing their desire: leaving nearly half of American women seeing sex as painful, boing or not as great as it could be.
If we don’t understand the sexism that lies behind this problem, then nothing will change.
Related Posts on BroadBlogs
- Repression: Not What You Think It Is
- How to Deal with Repression
- Be… But Don’t Be… Pretty, Girly, Sexy
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Posted on April 20, 2015, in feminism, psychology, sex and sexuality, sexism, women and tagged feminism, psychology, sex, sex drive, sex surveys, sexism, sexuality, women. Bookmark the permalink. 61 Comments.
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I want women to have more sexual pleasure than men (more rather than equal, because women deserve more pleasure to balance out their pain in repoduction) but I kinda want men to have stronger, more irritating, and less satiable libidos, so that we women can benefit and profit from it, have men pay money to see us be sexy, etc.
OK. I don’t really get what you’re saying here.
It is really sad that in our society people think that women tend to crave sex less than men, but of course there are explanations for that. Society generally put opinions in head of men and women about their sexual needs, that’s true. For example, in my country those questions are never really discussed, because people tend to think that a man is the person, who has orgasms and a woman is the helper in that. Majority of men think that as soon as they had an orgasm, they are free, and there is no work needed anymore. For women it also became normal, that they don’t have orgasms with their partners. Many of my girlfriends said that they never had orgasms with their partners, not only because they couldn’t physically have them, but because their partners didn’t even try. Many men are all about themselves. I remember that some of them even said: “Do girls also have orgasms?” Some added:” Girls need to much time to have an orgasm, they usually cannot have it at all, so I decided that it is not my work and every time as soon i’m satisfied, I’m good.” That’s hard to believe, but before I came to United States I didn’t even meet men, who want women to have an orgasm. They think about their partner and about themselves at the same time, because here we have these topics to discuss. Because some men tend to think that there is no need to satisfy women, they lose their sexual desire and of course it is harder for them to have an orgasm, because they get used to think only about their partner.
In my opinion, people tend to think that women usually carve sex less than men, because their differences in sexual desires. Based on my experience, I don’t really crave random men just because they look good. I cannot simply get my sexual desire by looking on a handsome man, I need to have some connection or feelings, which men don’t usually need. However, as soon as I have them, I have a sexual desire more than a man can have. Women and men crave sex at the same level, but differently. For men it can be any women, which is sexy and beautiful. They want her despite they have or do not have feelings for her. Women can also crave sex a lot, sometimes even more than men, but most of them need to have a connection first and then nobody can stop them. This is the reason why people tend to think that women want love, while men want sex. For women usually it matters with whom they have sex, while for men it does’t matter so much. In my opinion, just men and women enjoy sex differently, however, crave it at the same level. Maybe I’m wrong, but it is based on my experience and some of my friends.
If you compare women in sex-positive cultures with women in sex-negative cultures, like ours, you find a big difference in how in touch women are with their sexuality, And how much they enjoy sex. In sex-negative cultures women feel like they must dampen down their sexual interest because they might be punished. After a while it is common to stop feeling. So much so that around half of American women experience sexual dysfunction. But in sex-positive societies Women don’t feel the same pressure to dampen down their sexual interest or their sexual feelings, And they are easily– And easily multiply orgasmic. When you live in a sexist society like ours, that says it’s okay for men to be free to enjoy sexuality, but women will be punished for doing the same thing, you end up with high levels of sexual dysfunction among women.
It may be that the reason why women are more likely to feel the need for connection is because of sexual repression. That said, the vast majority of both men and women prefer sex in the context of relationship. Sex outside of relationships just seems to be harder on women than men — as I said, perhaps because of the repression.
Cravings for sex are probably tied more into the societal ideas of sex and how women perceive their own sexuality in comparison with men, resulting in an inability to become aroused when they want to match their partner’s needs. With women, arousal isn’t as universally clear as it is for men, or so I’ve heard from friends. Most of the girls I spoke to didn’t understand when they were aroused before they came to understand their own sex drive because they had never been told how it felt or understood the signs of arousal. For most men, an erection is a sure signal that they’re aroused and they’ll act upon that. The belief is that it’s easier to repress something that’s less demanding of attention or obvious, so ignoring that arousal because you don’t recognize it may also be a factor. As you grow more in touch with your body, you start to understand it better and the signs of something like an allergic reaction, panic attack, arousal, etc, and what causes each. Most women typically don’t pay much attention to their own sexual desires and it can result in a lack of ability to become aroused when they do have sex resulting in a less pleasurable experience. I feel as though becoming more in touch with yourself and your own needs while communicating that to your partner should be able to make sex more pleasurable for both parties and hopefully alleviate the negative feelings or lack of climax afterwards. I don’t really understand any of this personally…I’m an aromantic asexual who hangs around a lot of sexual people. Hopefully I’m presenting decent information.
Well if you compare women in sex-positive cultures with women in sex-negative cultures, like ours, you find a big difference in how in touch women are with their sexuality, And how much they enjoy sex. In sex-Negative cultures Women feel like they must dampen down their sexual interest because they might be punished. After a while it is common to stop feeling. So much so that around half of American women experience sexual dysfunction. But in sex-positive societies Women don’t feel the same pressure to dampen down their sexual interest their sexual feelings, And they are easily– And easily multiply orgasmic. When you live in a sexist society like ours, that says it’s okay for men to be free to enjoy sexuality, But women will be punished for doing the same thing, you end up with high levels of sexual dysfunction among women.
As usual, you are spot on. I’ve always considered my sex drive to be abnormally high, although I don’t really know that. The women who shared moments of my life have been less so. Of course, that might have been my problem and not theirs. I never seemed to want casual, meaningless sex, but always wanted a lot of it.
These experiences made me wonder if women in general want to be “taken” and made to feel helpless with aggressive men. I was never the aggressive sort, but wanted mutual passion to come naturally.
I use to know a man who always referred to his girlfriends (he was married), as “my pussy.” It irritated me, but I said nothing until one day I’d heard it once too often, and I asked him if he had ever noticed a woman–a person–attached to that pussy. He didn’t seem to understand my point. Yet, still, women seemed to be drawn to him. I’ve known others very much like him and their “luck” was always the same. Are women actually drawn to indifferent and self-satisfying men?
I’m guessing that this, too, has a cultural influence.
I don’t think it’s that women like bad boys. I think that the appearance of this phenomena is due to 3 things:
1) confirmation bias
2) narcissistic jerks tend to look more attractive than others
3) pick up artist techniques appeal to both sexist men and sexist women
I’ve written more on all of this in the posts below. But a quick summary:
Every woman I know likes nice guys, Not bad boys. But when a woman is attracted to bad boys it confirms the stereotype, So we notice it more. We don’t notice all the women who like good guys.
And by the way, a lot of women end up in abusive relationships because a lot of abusive men are very charming at first — they put on a charm offensive to get her to fall in love with him. The woman falls in love and thinks that he’s perfect and that she can get him back to the way he used to be. Almost all of these women eventually leave the guy.
Both narcissistic men and women are better at caring for their appearance and attracting people in that way. So not only do women often go for bad boys because they look good, but men often go for mean girls because they look good. Again, these don’t end up being long-term relationships. Because most people leave after they figure out what a jerk the person is.
More details here:
Bad Boy Allure
https://broadblogs.com/2013/04/08/bad-boy-allure/
Women Want Betas
https://broadblogs.com/2013/08/12/women-want-betas/
Nice Guys Are A Turnoff?
https://broadblogs.com/2015/01/05/nice-guys-are-a-turnoff/
Using Insults to Pick Up Women
https://broadblogs.com/2012/08/27/using-insults-to-pick-up-women/
Grooming Women for Battering
https://broadblogs.com/2013/03/08/grooming-women-for-battering/
I have always been bothered by the idea that women need to be ashamed of their sexual desires. We are all sexual beings and I think that women should not be seen as a “slut” if they enjoy sex. I agree with the point made above me that either way women are in a lose-lose situation. If you have a lot of sex you’re labeled as a slut, but if you do the opposite they call you a prude. When it comes to men, the more women you sleep with the more it praises your masculinity, you’re seen as a “player” or a “pimp.” Why is it that men are allowed to be sexual beings and women are shamed for it. This is something I will never understand, nor do I see anything wrong with women having a lot of healthy sex.
People are often confused about this question. I think I’ll have to write a blog post on it. But just quickly, here’s what I recently wrote to someone else on the topic:
It’s pretty confusing, isn’t it? Our culture is not consistent. It’s probably because on the one hand it’s common for guys to get turned on by Women who are turned on by sex (Which is a good thing). But on the other hand we have inherited a sex-negative culture that shames women’s sexuality. Partly that enhances men’s status because they can feel better than sluts. Plus, it enhances men’s power and freedom because they are free to do is they will even while women are told they do not have that same freedom.
So you want to have your cake and eat it too, But you can’t, because the shaming stifles women’s sexuality.
I don’t really believe that women crave less sex than men do because I will say that it depends on every women’s personality in my opinion. Even if we usually say that men put sex first in the relationship before having real feelings for their partner, I did know some women that are crazy about sex. However, we don’t mention that women do love sex because it might sometimes be disrespectful for them. Women are often the one who do everything to attract men. Finally, I don’t myself really craving for sex but why not?
Well if you do cross cultural comparisons you find that more sexist societies repress women’s sexuality. So in the US around half of women have experienced sexual dysfunction. We live in a society that is hostile to women’s sexuality, and a situation of women craving sex less than men is what you end up with when you have the hostility.
Even among women who enjoy sexuality in the US, many need a vibrator to have an orgasm, and less than 30% are able to have orgasms with partnered sex– as opposed to masturbation. There may be some women who manage to be very sexual despite the sexual repression in our society, but I suspect that even they would enjoy sexuality more if they lived in a sex-positive world for women. Because in those societies women are easily, and easily multiply orgasmic. That doesn’t occur too often here. And if they are able to enjoy sexuality here, they would probably enjoy it even more in a world that was sex-positive for women.
Here are few examples of what I’ve written about on this topic in the past:
Sexual Desire & Sexism https://broadblogs.com/2012/05/07/sexual-desire-sexism
Sex Lessons from Mom and Dad https://broadblogs.com/2010/10/04/sex-lessons-from-mom-and-dad/
“Cock” vs “Down There” https://broadblogs.com/2011/03/28/%E2%80%9Ccock%E2%80%9D-vs-%E2%80%9Cdown-there%E2%80%9D/
Sex: Who Gets Screwed? https://broadblogs.com/2010/11/11/sex-who-gets-screwed/
Sex Sells — To Women? https://broadblogs.com/2013/03/15/sex-sells-to-women/
Men Guarding My Purity https://broadblogs.com/2012/09/19/men-guarding-my-purity/
Sex and the Walk of Shame https://broadblogs.com/2011/07/06/sex-and-the-walk-of-shame/
Does Sexual Objectification Lead to Bad Sex?
https://broadblogs.com/2011/07/27/does-sexual-objectification-lead-to-bad-sex/
This is an interesting piece of report, “Women Crave Sex Less Than Men” is a precise reflection of the discussion that is made in Women Study class. Often time, women are pressed in both directions. On the top, if a woman openly reveals her sexual impulse and desires then other people are likely to label her as a “slut”. Yet, on the other hand, if a female demonstrates low interests on sex content with her partner, then she would likely to be complained. Both cases limit females’ freedom of expression. Moreover, this dilemma degrades women’s dignity and deteriorates relationship between men and women. In my point of view, it is a necessity to comprehend females’ need. As, a males, men should not evaluate all women with same standard. More importantly, we are living in the age of information; it is our own responsibility to absorb knowledge of opposite gender in order to be a well cultivated and socialized individual.
Men are more tolerable about their sexual desire. While, it is a bad thing for women to ask for it. When a man has sex with many girls, he is called a “stud”, since he can get girls easily which means he is charming. But when a woman has sex with many guys, she is called a “slut”. As she is too “easy”.
I know it is true that male and female have biological difference and that makes women less likely to crave sex compare to men, but that shouldn’t make women who want sex such a big of a deal. Since it is totally normal for anyone to want to have sex. We all have sexual desires.
However, there is one thing that I don’t quite understand why. Women are generally more sexualized than men; they are portrayed as someone who is sexy and wanting the guys. But when women actually do act in this way, we suddenly think these behaviors are inappropriate. I just don’t get it.
It’s pretty confusing, isn’t it? Our culture is not consistent. It’s probably because on the one hand it’s common for guys to get turned on by Women who are turned on by sex (Which is a good thing). But on the other hand we have inherited a sex-negative culture that shames women’s sexuality. Partly that enhances men’s status because they can feel better than sluts. Plus, it enhances men’s power and freedom because they are free to do is they will even while women are told they do not have that same freedom.
So you want to have your cake and eat it too, But you can’t, because the shaming stifles women’s sexuality.
Also, there are some physical differences between men and women which may help meant to enjoy sex more. But it’s unclear because women have more capacity for multiple orgasm, in terms appear physicality. So it’s just possible that physically women could enjoy sex more. But one thing that protects men from repression is the fact that the male body has to orgasm regularly in order to make fresh sperm.
I absolutely love to see a discussion about this topic because I’ve always felt like the sexual repressed female but never actually understood how well known this phenomena is. There was never any talk of sex or sexuality in my family, my mother simply gave me a book to study and that was the end of the discussion. In middle school I wouldn’t dress like my other female acquaintances because I started noticing societies way of portraying its women. It made me increasingly depressed and socially isolated from the world since I was a woman and because of that I felt societies purpose for me was to be sexual. Given that I wouldn’t be the least bit sexy. I felt that if I were to show myself in the female way, I would be conforming to societies image of females and thus dressing in that way for attention. As I was growing up and came across something arousing I simply would ignore it and slowly it became a pattern because I felt extremely guilty and “dirty” of the feeling. I’ve learned to repress the sensation to the point where, even though i’m still very young, my sexual libido isn’t much there. After listening and reading about the discussion, I’m relieved to know it’s not just me, it’s socially constructed and something i’ve learned.
I can relate! Thanks for sharing.
Many studies show that men want sex more than women. However many factors were not taken into considerations when looking at sexual desires of men and women. Reports show that women lack urges, based on need for intimacy. If women don’t get that spark, sex may seem meaningless to them. Preventing climax and not being able to reach orgasm. Therefore women are considered hard to turn on or read. But women might have a preoccupation with not wanting to get pregnant or trying to conceive and cultural beliefs instilled by family about initiating sex. Society holds woman to a specified standard of what and how their conduct should be are not for example women should not peruse a man. Such aspects as a women’s attitudes toward sex can be influenced by society, culture, peers and educational exposure leading to no desire of sex.
Regarding this: “Reports show that women lack urges, based on need for intimacy. If women don’t get that spark, sex may seem meaningless to them.”
That’s true but cross cultural studies suggest that it works the other way. Women’s repression leads them to need a lot more to get them interested in sex, Such as a sense of intimacy.
In sex-positive cultures women are often much more prone to get pregnant then they are here — because they have lacked contraception. And yet they are more easily orgasmic, more multiply orgasmic, and more likely to enjoy sex without intimacy. See for example oceanic cultures of the South Pacific, Especially prior to contact with whites– Or early contact with whites (Which is where we get the reports).
You talk about the culture that leads to a lot of desire for sex, Which is what I am referring to above. In western cultures like the US Women live in a sex-negative society that harms women and sexuality in a number of ways.
I’ll be writing more about this in the next few weeks.
In a lot of ways I do agree with the statement that women crave sex less than men. I think that the type of society that we live in, women are looked down upon for enjoying sex, or having a lot of it. For a man it’s more acceptable for him to have multiple partners. For a woman to do the same, they are called names and are labeled as a ho, whore, etc. I think that because of the way our society works, a lot of women put off their sexual desires. It’s also sad to think that women have to hide their true feelings sometimes because of what might be “proper”.
It is most definitely sexist to say that women crave sex less than man. Women are forced to repress thoughts of sex, let along the act of reporting about it. Despite the fact that these women surveyed were asked about sex, I’m pretty sure more than 50% of them still held back just how much they really think about it and/or crave it. It is embedded in girls’ psyche at an early age that sex is something girls don’t talk about or participate in openly. If you are open about sex, you get labeled w/ derogatory names and you are shamed for partaking in it. Don’t get me wrong, there are some women who report problems surrounding low sex drive and other factors that steer away from sex, but the bigger issue is that there’s little to no platform for women to openly report realistic statistics. The world is a man’s forum, while women are left to discuss their sex issues and sexual frustrations in the ladies bathroom.
Well, if we don’t recognize the sexism that actually does cause women to enjoy sex less than men, Things will never change. Women will keep enjoying sex lesson men because their sexuality has been so repressed.
It’s actually the rare woman in the modern Western world who experiences sexuality with the same enjoyment and gusto as a man does.
And a lot of Western women don’t realize that they are repressed. But you see it when less than one third of women have orgasms with her partner, and when most women need a vibrator. Some women may be exceptions, maybe because they grew up in More sex-positive subcultures, or ever been might actually heightened desire. But when you compare women in our society with women from sex positive societies, there is a huge difference.
Here’s a little bit of a hint as to how sexism creates these problems:
Repression: Not What You Think It Is
https://broadblogs.com/2014/10/27/repression-not-what-you-think-it-is/
Pertinent analysis, Georgia. The prevailing patriarchy in society, regrettably, appears to take its toll in hampering the feminine sex drive. I am surprised to note it is so even in the economically advanced societies of Americas and Europe, from your post that is. This too, hopefully, will change with greater emancipation of women, as societies progress.
Yes, I hope so!
My attitude towards sex has changed over the course of my life. Sexualy active girls in my high school were slut shamed as well as gossiped about constantly. I wanted to avoid being the topic of any gossip so I remained a virgin throughout high school to maintain a good reputation. In this case, society dictated my actions. After high school I was free of that tight knit community called “high school” and felt non-confined. Sex became more of a normal thing in my life and not a guilty pleasure. I’m not ashamed ever of wanting to initiate sex with someone I love. For some, intimacy is their “love language.” It was sad to read the statistics indicating women getting the short end or the stick or feeling ashamed about it. We are human and have needs. To play that down is un-natural. It’s like when you go on a crash diet, You deprive yourself and eventually it becomes unhealthy.
And a lot of Western women don’t realize that they are repressed. But you see it when less than one third of women have orgasms with her partner, and when most women need a vibrator. Some women may be exceptions, maybe because they grew up in More sex-positive subcultures, or ever been might actually heightened desire. But when you compare women in our society with women from sex positive societies, there is a huge difference.
I do not tHink it is sexist that men might have a bigger sex drive . I sort of agree with what the statement says . We have been getting accustomed to the so called “normal” it seems bad to think anything other wise .. in reality it is not sexist or femenist at all . Both sexes are unique it depends on the person
In this case it doesn’t really just depend on the person. It’s actually the rare woman in the modern Western world who experiences sexuality with the same enjoyment and gusto as a man does.
It’s a very different situation in gender-equal, Sex-positive societies. I will be writing about them more later.
Here’s a little bit of a hint as to how sexism creates these problems:
Repression: Not What You Think It Is
https://broadblogs.com/2014/10/27/repression-not-what-you-think-it-is/
I totally agree with you, and it is apparently men are more sexual. Since the problem of some women about sexes, they assume that emotional feeling, kisses and hugs are enough, and that what leads to have lack sexual feeling when the emotional feelings overshadow. And some women whom I know, and made me upset because of their thinking, they do not want to begin or ask men for sex because they want it to come from men, and if it does not come from them, they said that so they should be ego!
Women can crave sex as much as men do. It shouldn’t be something to be ashamed to admit but the society that we live in today see it as if it is something to be ashamed of. It is hard to trust in research since people will say what society think is better. Men will always say that they crave sex all the time just to show off their masculinity, while women will not always tell that she craves sex as much as their partner, even if its the truth. This is all about how society sees us. If a woman says that she likes sex more than your partner, people will think that she is a whore. For men, it’s the opposite. It’s unfair the way it is. Women should not hide their feelings and desires just to satisfy the society.
I’m not sure why you shouldn’t trust this research. How does saying that sex feels painful, That you have difficulty with orgasm, Or that you just aren’t interested, Make you look better? What would be the motivation for giving these sorts of answers?
Once again I will make a comment I have made to many others:
People don’t understand how sexual repression works. When women are constantly punished by society for enjoying sex, At first they consciously try to hold down their desire. But when you keep doing that, after a while the desire disappears.
In my own experience, I was much more interested in sexuality at age 10 than at age 20. And it got worse from there before it got better. And when it got better I had to put a lot of effort into it.
We have a society that shames women and that harms their sexuality in a number of ways. We need to stop doing that.
Take a look at this post:
Repression: Not What You Think It Is
https://broadblogs.com/2014/10/27/repression-not-what-you-think-it-is/
When it comes to this article I agree on some of the reasons why women crave sex less than men. But there are other reasons why woman might not want sex as much as a man would. Now a day’s woman are told that if they have sex a lot or if they enjoy sex they are a “slut or a hoe”. But also like this article says there are actual medical reasons why woman crave sex less than men because it’s painful and it hurts. Then finally I had a friend and she would always tell me that she lost that craving for sex because she could never get a chance to miss the sex they had because her boyfriend would always ask her for sex. But I think there are many different reasons why woman might have a less sex drive then men and these are only some reasons.
There is a cause that underlies all of this. You don’t find this same problem in sex-positive societies for women. And I will be writing more about that later. For now, see this post:
Repression: Not What You Think It Is
https://broadblogs.com/2014/10/27/repression-not-what-you-think-it-is/
I can definitely relate to this woman who feels it is sexist to say women crave less sex than men. Although those studies do show that as a general rule men crave sex more, I feel as though this is another result of gender stigmas ingrained in society. Women grow up with a double bind of slut shaming if they sleep with too many men or being called a prude or a tease if they only sleep with one or none at all. They are not taught about their own genitalia or how to have pleasurable sex or climaxing and it is a gray area for multiple women. Then they are told over and over that men want sex and women do not and continually feel shame for their own sexuality, not to mention that men are pressured into being overly sexual and animalistic when it comes to intercourse. So by the time women begin to have sex in their late teens to early twenties, sex becomes a terrifying, gray area full of un-met expectations and confusion. I personally have felt exactly like this woman because I have felt like I need to hide my sexuality. I always struggle with feeling too kinky or too sexual or too horny and I am often teased that I am “like a boy” when I talk about sex with friends. That doesn’t seem fair just because I really love and enjoy sex. I would completely agree that it is sexist to say men crave sex more than women because it gives women no room to want sex and makes men feel to need to always want it. I believe we need to de-genderize sex and all of the implications that go along with it.
This is pretty interesting, because in my culture women are shy to ask for it if they are married, they can show some kind of signs I guess, like putting the kids to sleep early and “prepare” the atmosphere for the husband, but its worse if they are not married, because they will be called names and that the least that could happen to them. I am not sure about craving sex, but maybe because they have more self control? The most open minded actress we have in our little Arab world once confessed that she lived with her boy friend without marriage ( she still got married to him ), and that was before she got famous which is few years back, Until today the media are talking about what a bad influence she is. Mind you that she didnt say a word about her sex life. As for her husband? he is the luckiest because he got the Sexiest women 😉
Check out the last response I gave to someone.
I hate when the world is sexist because its always towards women; women should not do that, women cannot do this. It’s sexist, this topic especially! It’s not that women crave less sex than men. It’s because society made it look okay for men to always want sex and for women to only just want love. Women crave sex, emotions, touch, your body, your energy, your company too. Women want to feel good without feeling guilty. Every female wants to feel like they are wanted. I do not think women should have to hide how they really feel because it’s their life and their body! I do not want to write about whether or not I crave sex a lot because I think this is personal especially since I’m commenting for a school assignment lol but in all honesty, I believe women and men feel the same way or it just depends on the person, if they love sex or not.
ONE MORE TIME, WITH FEELING: (i.e., here’s what I said to someone else who made a similar comment) 🙂
Women certainly have the potential to crave sex as much as men do. But what do you think about all of those numbers I listed? Do you just ignore them? If you don’t orgasm that much, if you have a low sex desire, Etc. why would you crave sex as much as men?
People don’t understand how sexual repression works. When women are constantly punished by society for enjoying sex, At first they consciously try to hold down their desire. But when you keep doing that, after a while the desire disappears.
In my own experience, I was much more interested in sexuality at age 10 than at age 20. And it got worse from there before got better. And when it got better I had to put a lot of effort into it.
We have a society that shames women and that harms their sexuality and a number of ways. We need to stop doing that.
Take a look at this post:
Repression: Not What You Think It Is
https://broadblogs.com/2014/10/27/repression-not-what-you-think-it-is/
A great question, and sometimes I do think it is society that crushes the spirit of sexuality with women ~ True freedom brings such happiness to everyone.
I’ll be writing more about sex-positive societies later. When you compare our society and their’s, you can see that biology isn’t really the root of women’s lower sex drive.
That will be very interesting…look forward to the read.
🙂
I think that women , crave sex just as much as men do. Society these days, look down on a woman if she wants sex. She might be called a hoe or slut. While if a man would want to have sex, he would be considered cool. So i don’t think it is a matter of craving sex, i think it is more of a reputation thing. Women don’t want to be looked down upon and so there desires for asking for sex goes down tremendously. So yes i do believe it is sexist. It makes women more insecure of themselves.
Women certainly have the potential to crave sex as much as men do. But what do you think about all of those numbers I listed? Do you just ignore them? If you don’t orgasm that much, if you have a low sex desire, Etc. why would you crave sex as much as men?
People don’t understand how sexual repression works. When women are constantly punished by society for enjoying sex, At first they consciously try to hold down their desire. But when you keep doing that, after a while the desire disappears.
In my own experience, I was much more interested in sexuality at age 10 than at age 20. And it got worse from there before got better. And when it got better I had to put a lot of effort into it.
We have a society that shames women and that harms their sexuality and a number of ways. We need to stop doing that.
Take a look at this post:
Repression: Not What You Think It Is
https://broadblogs.com/2014/10/27/repression-not-what-you-think-it-is/
I totally agree that it is society that creates the facade that women do not crave, or should not crave sex. As it was discussed in class, people feel that women should not enjoy the act of sex and they are just put on this earth to create life. That is not the case. Women should enjoy sex and not be looked down upon for doing so. It baffles me that men are labeled as “The Man” or given “Props” if he has sex with multiple women. But if a women does that she is labeled as a “Slut” or “Easy”. It is natural for a human being to feel aroused and turned on. It is their business to do whatever they feel about it.
As a woman this remind me of whenever I was with my first partner, I would always feel that I needed to make my male partner to orgasm but we never took care of my sexual drive. Mostly because we was thinking that if he was satisfied then it was all good and dandy. However that must have been why we also in the end broke up, since I felt as I was being selfish for asking for it sometimes. However whenever I read a article on how the human sexuality actually work, it opened my eye and I could actually see that feeling good with the person you love isnt being selfish. Its being human.
Interesting that it didn’t seem selfish to anyone to take care his sexual needs. And yet this is very common.
Makes me think about how many people may be disconnected from their real impulses and desires because of conditioning that dictates how a man/woman should feel/behave. Not only is sexuality suppressed but so is authentic connection with others and the self.
Very nice point.
Women often suppress their sexual cravings, because that gives rise to much criticism from the sexist portion of the society. But hopefully, time is changing….
Slowly but surely.
Honestly these things make me upset, as a woman and having to downgrade or hide my true emotions towards a certain act is selfish. I love having that crave with my significant other, and sometimes i have notice that Ive stopped myself from “wanting” or “asking” for it because women shouldn’t be like that. Then i just think to myself that is how we have been conditioned to think what is wrong with being woman and wanting to make love to your fiancé/husband. I believe it is unfair that we as woman have to hinder the way we truly feel and that costs us in the long run for example, thinking we do not like it or its just for the mans pleasure, but that is when we just get treated like we have no options. My fiancé thinks the same that I have the right to want sex as much as he does, there is nothing wrong with that, some men love that.
It’s a difficult issue. I’m glad that you’re finding a way to cope with it. 🙂
Your post reminds me of how people who are asexual/demi sexual are often stigmatised because of several things, whether the oversexualization of everything (especially women) in society, considered prude for not being interested in sex, or are reduced to their abuse history if they have one. Stereotypes and sexism still have a huge imprint on many things in society, including when it comes to sexual behaviors/preferences.
Thanks for bringing that up. Which reminds me how women are often caught in a double-blind. it can be hard walking that fine line between being called a slut or prude. And then there’s this: women’s sexuality is repressed, and then they are called prude when they respond in a way that society directs them.
When I was in high school, I was considered a geeky prude and within 3 months after graduating and starting pro cinema school, people started telling stories about how I might be into BDSM and stuff like this. So I’ve been virgin/slut shamed when nothing changed in my life. It was pure constructions of other people (I was a single geeky girl who had little to no interest in getting involved with anyone before or after the shift in others’ mind, which was even more baffling to me!)
Yeah, I’ve been there and done that, too. And so have a lot of my students. I think the shaming comes more from feeling threatened. Feeling insecure and putting someone down in an attempt to raise yourself up by comparison. At the same time, even though words like slut often have nothing to do with how a woman is actually behaving, just hearing these words gets into the subconscious and tells us that women shouldn’t be that way.
I haven’t any sexual contact or sexual relations for half a decade now my husband works abroad so physically we don’t do it. I have an insatiable sexual desire but that cravings leads to fear of making errors and malice in life. MAybe, mastering my emotions and being highly spiritual makes me fear committing adultery or doing the act despite of my eternal feminine needs and desires …of course every woman wants to feel wanted and desired .
That must be tough. So sorry for your predicament. A lot of complex issues involved in this. Thanks for sharing.
Wow…..So what if he works abroad? There is such a thing as an airplane. Why can’t you guys meet up somewhere? That would be loads of fun….If two people really want to be with one another they will always find a way. Always, unless they are in prison.
Question: If you have not had any sexual relations in the past five years, how do you know you have an insatiable desire?
Not trying to be a d**k here, but this just seems a bit odd…
I always do ….I know my body but sometimes my mind is too powerful by avoiding things that harms the soul I’m a spiritual fanatic and that leads me to balance my thoughts and desires by living a blameless life if possible but I am not of course , I know my body of course, we’ve done it before 5 to 7 times a day lol .