Blog Archives
Don’t Protect Girls. You Might Offend Men!
Breast Buds and Growing Pains
By Bo Bi
Growing breasts can be awkward.
When I first started developing I was nervous about other people seeing my “breast buds” and thinking they were weird. And I felt embarrassed because my nipples kind of showed beneath my undershirt in those early days before I got permission to buy a bra.
The solution? Develop terrible posture. When I hung out with boys I slumped my shoulders, hoping they wouldn’t notice. Read the rest of this entry
Men, Women & Internet Porn
The first time you see Lena Dunham’s character having sex in the new HBO series “Girls,” her back is to her boyfriend, who seems to regard her as an inconveniently loquacious halfway point between partner and prop, and her concern is whether she’s correctly following instructions.
“So I can just stay like this for a little while?” she asks. “Do you need me to move more?”
Body Image: What Guys Don’t Get
Do you ever worry that you’re too fat, too thin, or that your breasts or derrière might be too big, too small, too droopy, too lopsided…?
Men are often surprised when they find out that their partners are worried about such things— “You’re beautiful!” they think. Read the rest of this entry
Women Are More Responsive To Repression
Women’s sexuality is more hushed-up and punished in our culture:
- Sexual women are still called “sluts” and “ho’s”
- Parents — especially fathers — are more open about sexuality with their sons. In fact, dad may brag about his son’s sexual prowess but not his daughter’s
- Viagra is openly advertised but products aiding women’s sexuality are not
- Ever seen a movie about girls trying to lose their virginity?
- The fear of sexual violence — or actually experiencing it — makes sexuality seem fearful to women and girls
- And be careful girls, or you may get f’d or screwed
AND women’s sexuality is more responsive to punishment.
Once and Future Gender Equality
Most people don’t realize that the world wasn’t always male-dominant.
Even today a few egalitarian societies remain. Like the !Kung of Africa or New Guinea’s Tchambuli.
Going back in time, when Europeans first set out to conquer the world, they were surprised to see how gender-equal some of the peoples they met were. Like American Indians and Pacific Islanders. Read the rest of this entry
How’s The Double Standard Make Sense?
People often ask:
How does the double standard make sense?
Men can’t have sex with women unless women have sex with men.
And, how is it fair that guys can have lots of sex — and be rewarded, in fact — but women are shamed if they behave in the same way. It’s crazy.
Logically, it doesn’t make sense.
But if you want to create a patriarchy that values and privileges men over women, the double standard helps to create that world. Read the rest of this entry
Religion Shutting Down Sexuality
Harmful messages about sexuality are too often transmitted by conservative religions of all stripes.
The Christian woman quoted below is talking about how much she shares with another Christian woman’s experience:
“I suppressed most of my sexual urges.” YES. Hell yes, I did. “I was more or less asexual.” YES. I didn’t have a sexual thought, didn’t have a sexual fantasy, didn’t have a sex drive. I’d suppressed these things out of existence. Read the rest of this entry
Feminist, Emma Watson
Hermione Granger of Harry Potter is a strong-girl-turned-strong-woman.
Smart, strong, sassy.
And so is her alter ego, Emma Watson, who has spoken before the United Nations on the need for feminism.
A few of my favorite quotes: Read the rest of this entry
Tampons Are A Luxury But Viagra Is Not?
“Free bleeders” like Kirin Gandhi don’t use tampons. Or sanitary napkins.
Some of the time.
Just to show that they are luxury items.
Because it’s just fine to bleed all over yourself and your clothes. And the furniture.
And then spend hours washing out the blood. Or buying new clothes. And new furniture. Read the rest of this entry








