I think this post is extremely interesting to me as a women because it is an insight into how a young impressionable boy can view things and what can alter his perception as he learns and grows. One of the main things that I find interesting within this post is that the author discusses how he immediately was drawn to this other boy Knox because of how “cool” he acted and was persuaded to learn and study him. This is interesting to me because of how ironic it is that sometimes the most admirable people can end of being the most toxic and hurtful due to how they try to portray themselves to others. Almost as if they are projecting the person they wish they truly were. Another fascinating point within this post was how the authors father was a crucial factor in his development and growth, which I find very true that influences and idols can be everything. This point draws on the contradicting fact that whether someone is a good or bad influence, they can impact everything. If only everyone had a good idol to look upon and learn from, this could create a positive loop benefiting everyone.

I do recall around the same age and being in middle school that boys did not have any girls as friends. In fact, the only way you would be around a girl is if she was a girlfriend. I don’t remember having guys as friends not that I didn’t or couldn’t talk to them but they were all hanging out together if for some reason a guy hung out with girls, they would think he was gay. For the most part the boys were rude or trying to be cool around others. The few of the boys that were not mean or rude had their parents had them involved in a sport or some kind of after school program. It is important for fathers to talk to their sons. I know that by teaching them respect and awareness to how to treat a girl it will be in their back of their mind it will help them act and treat others right.

It is definitely important that parents and society teaches boys to be respectful towards women starting at a young age. There is also the issue of toxic masculinity, which teaches boys that to be masculine is to be strong, dominant, and often times disrespectful towards women. This pushes boys to reject “feminine” ideas and present themselves as strong and dominant. It is important that the idea of toxic masculinity is dismantled, and that boys are encouraged to be themselves instead of heeding to toxic masculinity. Peers and parents are definitely significantly important in affecting a boy’s attitudes and perspective on himself. It is great that your father helped you to become a better person. I think that the media also has a large effect on a boy’s attitudes. The notion that men should be disrespectful to women is often perpetuated on social media, in movies, and in television shows. This notion needs to be dispelled in the media, and greater representation should be included in the media.

While reading this, I remembered times within my own experience where being defiant against teachers and school staff seemed to like the “Cool” thing to do; but in retrospect, it probably made me and those who did the same look like losers. I completely agree with you with your point concerning parent’s involvement within their children’s development; especially when it comes to young boys. Of course, some parents rely on schools to set their children on the right paths, especially the parents who don’t have the time to have such talks with their boys about respect and such, but there’s only so much a school can do. Nonetheless, these heart to heart conversations are what can change a child’s entire perception of the world around them, and I agree with your insight on such matters.

I found this posting very interesting and something most people can relate too, whether they are a man or woman. I know when I was a young girl, I was often being rebellious and getting into the wrong thing because it was the cool thing to do, or everyone else was doing it and I didn’t want to be left out. My mother too finally gave me advice, and told me I do not need to act this way simply because everyone else was doing it. Eventually I learned the hard way and finally took my moms advice. I almost think its sort of necessary for everyone to go thru a rebellious phase like this, it can teach you a lot about yourself, as well as the world around us.

As a girl, I can still very much relate to this post. Being a young adult you always seem to do what you can to be liked or to fit in. anything someone sees as cool is something you feel you should be doing. When usually it turns out to be someone having a bad influence over you. As you mature you begin to notice these ways and picking and choosing the right people you want to be around who empower you. But as for boys, when growing up and learning how to treat women, it starts from ages like this. I have a younger brother, who has myself and another older sister to correct him when he’s wrong in these ways. We may seem annoying to him now but later on in life I’m sure he will thank us. We always try to make him understand some of the things he says and how he says them to be hurtful. We are always communicating about how we feel in our household as well. Whether it be our own feelings or actions taken to hurt our feelings, this way he will grow up to be a man in tune with his feelings and emotions and be able to speak on it instead of bottle it up. I find this important because as a 21-year-old female who has guy friends and romantic relationships with guys for some reason this is always an area they lack in. in my opinion, I think this is because of society’s stereotype of being a “strong, masculine man” and they “never” share their feelings. Its always important as a boy to be guided on these issues.

If you think you are amazing because you are a man or woman, if you feel you are everything, then you are a selfish person. Conversely, I believe that no one is a bad person or a good person at first. The achievement of these consequences is influenced by the surrounding environment, friends, family, teachers, etc. And most importantly, I think it is how a parent or others educate our children. As the author also said in the article, if it were not because of Knox’s negative instigation or influence, he would not believe Knox or even make a wrong decision to hurt others. According to what the author has said, he didn’t want to hurt others, but it will make him look week if he doesn’t do the same thing as others. Therefore, the correct education and influence are critical. Especially parents, because how the father treats the mother at home is a good example. Only in this way can children know that men have to be gentle with women, just like how women love men. Slowly, afterward, men and women will treat everyone around them, sensibly in society.

This article really shows the importance of why men should be taught at a young age to respect women. It’s very difficult, although not impossible, for someone to change their mentality once they’ve gone a long time thinking a certain way, so it’s best to start young.It is important that they receive the right kind of influence, because they can latch onto and imitate bad behaviors fairly quickly. Parents,teachers, and friends are all responsible for shaping how a young boy thinks. It’s an all too common story that boys who want to fit in are pressured by older or “cooler” boys into acting a certain way towards other people, especially girls. They do this because they don’t want to been as losers or outsiders, especially if they’re new to a school. These same boys are taught that being mean or dismissive of a girl will somehow prove that he likes her which could have negative consequences in how girls view themselves.

I relate to this story tremendously. I learned to call girls Bitches when I was in second grade. As a seven year old, I didn’t know what it meant. My friends and I would hang out after school most days, in a mixed group, but at Recess and Lunch we strictly segregated ourselves; boys and girls. I don’t know why. When the boys got bored, we would approach our female group, but they would have nothing to do with us during school hours – Until we started calling them Bitches. Then they’d leave their social group and chase us around the playground, like we wanted. Eventually, that stopped working, so a friend of mine began the tradition of slapping a girl’s butt while insulting her, in order to get the reaction we wanted. This behavior was accepted by all parties, and the game continued through elementary school, under the supervision of faculty who did nothing to stop it. When we all hung out together after school, nobody brought it up. It was just the way things were. By the age of seven, sexual violence and gendered slurs were normalized in our heads, as a casual part of everyday life.

Men and women both deal with sexual topics and issues at a young age, a process sped up further with the prevalence of smartphones in schools. It’s despicable how flimsy education on the subject is, when it’s one of the topics that most affects our everyday lives – I had no option for a gender studies class until college, and even then it’s not a requirement. So much of what is now common sense to me was unavailable until I was twenty.

I’ve seen clips of people cheering medical workers at hospitals, but this particularly just warmed my heart. Idk if you saw this yet or not, but heroes honoring heroes….love it.

While its never okay to be a mean person, I believe being young complicates things. Middle school is a terrible time for most people in some way, and shouldn’t be a reflection of them once they grow up. I was not a mean person growing up, but I knew several people who were. Almost all of them are much better now and have grown up from that past. If you can look back and grow from those mistakes, I believe it can completely redeem yourself. Many people have a difficult childhood or try to follow in the footsteps of someone. Middle school and high school are great times to learn about yourself and become your own person, overcoming those past actions. I would never hang on the past and only use it as a reference to better yourself.

Growing up I believe that there is a need to teach young ones how they should treat both women and men. Many grow up lost and never had anyone teach them nor did they have anyone to look up to. This then leads into abusive relationships as they get older which then becomes a bigger problem as they continue to grow. Masculinity is indeed a big important factor that plays a huge role in today’s world/ society and for so long it has been. It is a big problem in middle schools because of the fact that boys seem to think that they are way better than girls. This is why they tend to look down on them and think it is fine to treat them the way they do. Many at that age do not know any better and they do it to try to fit in and be perceived as “cool” by their peers.

This is very true about having role models to look up to and teach kids how to treat people and how to not treat them. Some people who don’t have good role models sometimes come out on the bad side, but some still become respectful people in spite of their lack of guidance. I think it depends on the character development in a person, but having a respected and knowledgeable role model can have a great impact. Kids don’t know right from wrong and they need guidance to learn how to treat women, as well as men, with respect. If kids are being taught by unwise peers to stand dominant over women, the world will not continue to progress. Some pop culture, like you stated, can influence toxic masculinity and kids need an adult to help them realize what they should avoid and what’s okay to follow. Similar to how this is titled, just because one is a man does not deem them to look down on females. Learning that the opposite of this is true is a step down the wrong path of morals.

My parents divorced when I was about three years old. From my experience being raised by a single mother, it is undeniable that my love, respect, and appreciation for women came from the love, strength, perseverance, competence, and honesty my mother showed as she raised me. I was always comparing what she did for me to what little my father did for me. I was able to see my father on weekends but then came a time when I stopped seeing him all together. Even when I did see him, no memorable moments were conceived, I just wanted to go back home. I was developing a respect for women through my mother’s actions, and a suspicion to what it means to be a man through my father. I continually developed this respect for women because of what my mother was able to accomplish as an immigrant in this country, only setting her worlds apart from my father, reinforcing what a woman is capable of. Looking back at my early school years of elementary and middle school, I never wanted to do anything to upset my mother. I surely made mistakes as a kid, as we all do, but never did it cross my mind that by being a boy I had to prove to others my masculinity or show dominance. After all, without my father in the picture much, all the masculine examples came from uncles, older cousins, and friends from the neighborhood I grew up in, with none of them having much to say or follow after. I didn’t grow up in the best area so all the older kids did things my mother wanted me to stay away from. I still hung out with the older kids in my neighborhood because they had younger siblings that I would play with. There was a part of me that still wanted to emulate what they were doing but at the end of the day I knew my mother would not want me to go down these paths. There was so much disrespect and ignorance that the males around me displayed towards women that it did not register in my head how they were capable of acting in such ways. A lot of kids in my area lacked supportive father and mother figures so this likely played a significant role. As a man in my early twenties being able to reflect on these things now, I give respect to not just women, but to the people who gets things done through honest hard work and lead with love and respect. It is this notion that leads me through life as a young man, eventually to become a parent, a father of my own.

I think that the upbringing of boys definitely defines who they are as men. I can say that since I was fortunate that my father is very respectful to my mom and the fact that I have an older sister already gave me an idea of how I thought women should be treated. I think that in society that a lot of people try to give men this slap on the wrist or “look the other way” type of treatment for being rude and obnoxious just because they might be bigger and stronger than women. I think also it has a lot to do with the environment too. For instance, if a boy grows up with his parents being in an abusive-marriage he will be more than likely to follow in those footsteps and think that it is normal and okay for him to do the same things. Lastly, I think how this attention or want to be “cool” clouds the judgement of a lot of boys to break those habits early too.

Middle school in this era is so wild according to my sister. From a 7th grader getting busted for selling drugs, to her own friend telling her that her boyfriend hit her. Times are changing and teens are trying to become adults. Most of kids start of shy in middle school because it’s a step up to getting a bit more of freedom. Of course any kid is gonna want to be considered “cool” therefore it is more easier for them to get into drugs and all that stuff. Teens at that age don’t really know that there are eventually consequences/ repercussions for their actions. Just like Luis, many students are blinded by this fake hierarchy that they created themselves, that they would do mostly anything to become known. That is why it is so important to have a figure who kids respect, for them to have someone to guide them. I just wonder how Luis would’ve turned out if his dad would have been the same as the kid he was trying to impress. Parent influence is so important and definitely shapes the way kids are in the future.

Your post has a lot of relevance to my life right now, I am a parent of a middle school boy and we have come across the delight of the school change as my son enters the roller coaster of hormonal fun. He is learning from his friends (and i am sure passing his knowledge on too) how easily you can access websites with adult material (be it sexual or excessive violence). He has a new found fun with testing boundaries of language use at home around his younger siblings and feeling the power that language has over other when you use it to demean them. My son is generally thought of as a good kid, his explorations are normal, but require constant policing and intervention. He is not allowed to use words he does not understand the meaning and origin of, we openly discuss these between my husband, my son and myself. We talk about how certain words make us feel or situations where they are or are not appropriate. I am learning a lot about my husband and his language use as much as my own and what urban dictionary has to say!

Being a fierce middle school male is about learning who you really are amongst all the personalities popping up around you, trying these personalities on and discarding them. As a parent, my job is to help them see how that personality affects those around them, how they treat others can be how they can expect to be treated themselves. Respect for all people and their choices, reminders that we are all human and trying our best and helping them navigate the terrible world of language. It doesn’t help that I am british as even a fanny pack to me is something to snigger at.

I think that this post goes to show just how important father figures are in policing their young sons or other young men. Fathers are just as important as mothers in the process of young adolescents becoming good, respectable adults. Especially for young men they need father figures to look up to, to see how to treat women the right way. Young men, especially around middle school time where they are beginning to go through puberty, look around at others around them to try to be the most “cool” or most manly amongst their peers. Many times they go to the extremes to gain that popularity or notoriety amongst their peers just like the above example with Knox. Although I didn’t go to most of those extremes to gain popularity in my adolescent years, I do remember trying in other ways to gain popularity or trying to impress my friends. I made my middle school football team and I tried to sit with guys older than me to try to seem more “cool”. Fathers are so important in guiding our young men to not only be comfortable with who they are but with treating women with respect and dignity. I had a feud with my next door neighbor, a girl, and we both were pretty nasty to each other at times. My dad ultimately stepped in and had a talk with me to tell me that some of the things I was saying and doing weren’t right and to stop immediately. That girl and I are friends now but without my father stepping in and teaching me that lesson I don’t know what my behavior could have escalated to.

The question I have and never really followed the studies and idk if you know, but whether abusive men can be rehabbed. I’m not talking about pedophiles, I hate how lenient our justice system is on some men or some crimes. But it seems like pedophiles and molesters never rehabilitate. But I’m talking about abusive asshole guys, as in domestic violence. I know men avoid seeing their problems or trying to fix their problems and our culture causes men to avoid getting help. The reason I ask, is while I’d love these assholes to rot in prison. The reality is that, that will not happen many times, so rehab is important. What happens is guys may get restraining orders which really doesn’t do shit, or they may go in jail if charges are pressed by their Spouse. But it’s usually just for a short time and then they are back and more angry and abusive to their partner when out. T

he fact of the matter is that, unless the man is dead, in prison for a very long time (which would be too late, as that seems like it would only happen if such man kills his spouse/children or rapes a woman), he will be free to continue his rampage. It’s hard to women to leave such situations, but even if a woman manages to get away and he eventually gives up on finding her. What do you think will happen? That woman might be fine, but such abusive men will eventually date or marry another woman and then so goes the cycle again. As much as I like this dudes to just be in prison and stay there, the reality is that it rarely happens. So it seems like preventative stuff where you have guys who have gone through things talk to the trouble male youth and like try to prevent that path. But you also need counseling to be more socially acceptable for such troubled men to work out such issues so this cycle of abuse can stop and get to underlying issues causing it. I don’t know the stats on if it works. There’s stuff for people addicted to drugs or alcohol or they are because of underlying problems, but even these people who manage to be sober for many years. They have to maintain constant focus to not have a drink or smoke and start the downward spiral again that they continued to stay sober for so long.