Sex Objects Who Don’t Enjoy Sex

Sexualizing women can have its perks in the bedroom, with breast fetishes and butt fetishes heightening men’s arousal.

But surprisingly, sexualizing women can have the opposite effect, harming both men’s and women’s enjoyment. And in many ways. Here’s one: self-objectification.

Drowning in “sexy women” images, men and women can both come to see women as the sexy half of the species. So what happens in bed? Because men aren’t seen as especially sexy (at least by comparison) men are focused on women and women can be focused on themselves.

Caroline Heldman, assistant professor at Occidental College, found that some women become preoccupied with how they look instead of the sexual experience. “One young woman I interviewed described sex as being an ‘out of body’ experience,” she said. “She viewed herself through the eyes of her lover, and, sometimes, through the imaginary lens of a camera shooting a porn film.”

Sounds a bit like Paris Hilton: “My boyfriends say I’m sexy but not sexual,” she mused. “Being ‘hot’ is a pose, an act, a tool, and entirely divorced from either physical pleasure or romantic love.”

Heldman feels that girls and women are learning to eroticize male sexual pleasure as though it were their own. She feels they need to explore their sexuality in more empowering and satisfying ways than this vicarious act.

Cultural theorist Jackson Katz has similar concerns. “Many young women are now engaged in sex acts with men that prioritize the man’s pleasure,” he reflected, “with little or no expectation of reciprocity.”

When having sex, these young women may be enjoying themselves, and how nice they look. They may gain a boost to self-esteem as they dwell on their “hotness.” But they’re not enjoying sex.

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on March 2, 2011, in body image, feminism, gender, objectification, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, sexism, women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 38 Comments.

  1. Since ancient ago, I think no one does not love sex. In my impression, woman and man are enjoying sex. Unless you have obstetrics and gynecology disease or problem , people usually love sex. In my opinion, woman like enjoying sex with her boyfriend or husband. Also, woman like to enjoying a special atmosphere, special date or holiday with sex. Man also like to enjoying a special sex. For instance, men like to enjoy different positions and places. In addition, people may like different partners. Why people don’t enjoy sex? Even though you have disease, you still have desire and need with sex. I think people should change position, feeling, and place to enjoying sex or try to lead to your partner to enjoy sex. Maybe people can find something to figure out this problem if you are enjoy with sex. All in all, it’s my opinion. If you have any suggestions , you can share it with everybody.

    • Well people tend to think that however they feel is how everyone else feels. You should try to enjoy it if you are this distracted! Nearly Half of American women have sexual dysfunction problems and don’t enjoy sex and this is one of the reasons they do.

  2. Very interesting Paris Hilton mentions being “hot” has nothing to do with enjoying physical pleasure. Let’s talk about this for a second, because I really think she’s into something here. Woman might look at a man who is tall, muscular and with a full head of hair may perceive him to be extremely sexual who enjoys sex. This might not be the case at all. Could be that the quiet skinny nerd, compared to the muscular man, has more sex drive and enjoys sex much much more than thought to have.

    Reading more into the article i find that with the amount of social media and access to stimulating images of woman and men, we are starting to loose sight of what natural beauty even looks like. I feel this might be another reason why woman may get turned on by certain acts that gets her partner off. I can see how it’s the certainty of knowing you’re turning your partner on that could be arousing. That being said, one should also be able to appreciate physical and emotional feelings that could on its own be very arousing as well.

  3. I believe women don’t enjoy sex the most because often we do what men wants in bed. We take care of their needs and our needs are often forgotten about. I feel this way based on my experience I felt very much like an object just to satisfy him.

    • Your experience is pretty common, unfortunately. But it’s no wonder since our society teaches women to think this way, So the idea unconsciously seeps in.

  4. If all women are “face women” then I wonder why men don’t give a damn about their faces. They don’t try to make themselves more facially attractive just for females. They don’t use makeup, they don’t moisturize or even wash their faces, they don’t treat their acne in many cases, they don’t worry about wrinkles or scars etc. If women are truly only seeing the male face as sexy most of the time, then why don’t men feel any kind of obligation to put their “best face forward” so to speak? I think men just don’t give a damn what women think of them at all. They go around in filthy clothes, ungroomed, unclean, smelly, in old or ripped clothing, in t shirts and jeans (lazy mens’ wear) and take no pride in their appearance at all. Unless they’re some kind of executive, the average guy just puts on a baseball hat and t shirt and jeans and expects that to be “enough” and he should be able to lure in some supermodel with that alone.

    • Probably because in relationships men are expected to be active and pursue, Well women are expected to be passive and attract. Plus, Now days make up is practically part of the female role. And the exact opposite for men.

      Plus, pornography shows unattractive guys with hot women.

      But a lot of guys do care about their appearance. But culturally we place much more pressure on women — judge women’s value much more by their looks. Maybe because until women could get jobs the only thing they really had to attract was there looks, And now it is part of the culture.

  5. You are a celebrity to me broad-blogs, i went really wild from the fact you answered my post doing cartwheels in my room lol.

    I think i should have a experiment conducted on my brain over the last 6 years. As a man i was oblivious to my image as if it didn’t matter all my life; when viewing pornography or having intercourse it was all about how the woman looked, and for intercourse if i was giving her pleasure and it was about if i’m doing it right. My image never even comes into the picture at all when with sexual activity.

    In those terms i am not the object, women are. As i started working out i began to gain a better self image; from wanting to be fit to, wanting to be seen as sexy, and to make women stop and stare and talk to me; this never happened, i did attain the sexy fit look, with abs, muscles, but women never came “hootin and hollerin”. I started searching what turns women on and what do they desire about the male body; let me tell you all i read were things to this nature “broad shoulders, forearms, back muscles”.

    I then asked what type of porn women watch, and found out alot of straight women watch lesbian porn; this confused me with them being straight. Some of them said its because it’s focused on female pleasure, which i sort of understood, but then i searched some more; this is what i found…..

    Straight women talking about how hot they found women ,and how disgusting the male body was; how they pleasure themselves by looking at women with women, and how romance with a woman was a turn off. This was damaging to me as a male; now comes the part where i need to have my brain studied. I have spent a enormous amount of time trying to figure out if this is true; i stopped working out i felt so disgusted that no woman would desire me that way; i even thought about one day being gay with a cross dressing man to have that desire from just looking at me.

    What got me back on track was finding out that straight women also like male male porn. That gave me some hope and i was joyful and happy again. Then after months it hit me again. Why do women have it so easy? Why can’t a man’s image alone make a woman chase a man into the bed room, and his body alone giving her pleasure.

    Back to square 1 i am a little depressed, a little envious of women for my gender having little to no affect on their desire. I haven’t worked out in 3 weeks, i feel lost in a world of thought in which i thought i understood, that world being sex.

    This all leads me to question are women really doing with men sexually, if we are not their sex objects?

    • Thanks for the flattery. I will eat it up.

      There may well be a biological, natural attraction of females to males – if they are biologically straight. Do you remember when you were in grade school and girls had crushes on boys and boys had crushes on girls, even though neither of them were sex objects to the other? Or, after a man has been with the same woman for a while the breast fetish disappears and he isn’t really attracted to her as a sex object so much, yet he is still very attracted to his partner and enjoys sex with her. Or, men can find women attractive even if they don’t have very large breasts or sex objecty figures. Or, people age and no longer look like sex objects, yet can still be very attracted to their partners and very much enjoy sexuality. Or, men in some cultures never learn the breast fetish at all, and never learn to objectify women, yet they are still attracted to women and enjoy sex with them.

      The sex object part is the fake part.

      So, while both women and men can hardly help but see women as sex objects – given the way we are ALL bombarded with sexual images of women (and a dearth of sexual images of men) there is still a natural biological attraction between the sexes if you’re straight.

      The truth is, you are having to deal with the exact same thing that about 80% of women are dealing with. Feeling like the other sex doesn’t find you all that sexually attractive. Because even though women are the sex objects, is a particular body type that most women don’t feel like they personally have.

      And take a look at these two posts. They are about true sexuality not the fake, “sex object” kind:

      Being Sexual vs Looking Sexual
      Wanting “X” from Sex, but Doing “Y”

      There are still good reasons to keep working out, though. First, it is simply healthy for you if you don’t go overboard. Second, you could well appear more confident-looking, if you don’t lose your confidence simply because you don’t look like a sex object. And for women, self-confidence is the sexiest thing about a man. (And often vice versa.)

    • Hey Eric U. Thought I’d like to write a series of posts on this topic. I was wondering if you would mind if I edited your question and put that as my first post on the topic with you as author? I’m hoping that you subscribe to comments so that you get this question. Otherwise, I guess I could put it in a big ol’ block quote, or find some other way to indicate that this was a question someone had asked me.

  6. Watching women walk around, and men walk around it becomes apparent to me how women are more narcissistic. A lot of women wear makeup,and spend hours beautifying themselves as if its their worth to the world. Wearing casual, but tightly fitted, to even revealing clothing. A lot of women won’t even leave the house without beautifying themselves like robots.

    Another note:
    Men would have found women sexy the way they are before mass media and women would have done the same for men. Men are never talked about or glorified for their beauty in songs; this leads me to believe no one truly desires a sexy man. I’m at the pt were I don’t even want to desire women anymore for how beautiful they are, but I’m trapped looking at them.
    What even draws women to men if not how sexy men are? Its been baffling my mind. Did the media and society do something right saying a man should be with a woman? Nowadays women are I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T and being told they don’t need a man.

    Its all a sad world without mutual sexual desire.

    • You say that women are narcissistic. That’s because society expects them to be. On the one hand society heavily judges women who aren’t beautiful. And they often feel “unworthy” (of love, esteem) when they aren’t. So women feel tremendous pressure to be physically attractive. But when they try to be beautiful they are also judged. It’s a no-win situation.

      But if you look around the real world you’ll probably see that most women are not trying to look gorgeous and sexy all the time, despite the pressure.

      One of the reasons I complain about women being sexualized and men being ignored is that it’s harder to think of men in a sexual way as a result of that.

      At the same time, most women feel exactly the same way you say men do — unsexy and unattractive. Because hardly any of us look like the sexualized images of women that are presented.

      So what I would really like to see is men sexualized more, women presented in a variety of ways other than sexualized, and a variety of body types – of both women and men –celebrated.

      So how do women find men attractive? The same way that most men find women who don’t fit the cultural ideal attractive – and most women don’t fit the ideal. It’s just normal sexuality that is unencumbered by social construction. Because the ideal “sexy” image is something that has been constructed by our society. Other societies have different types of ideals. See this post for instance: The Plump Beauty Ideal: Exotic Dancers in 1890

      It might surprise you to realize that the reason why women are the ones who are sexually plastered everywhere, and the reason why love songs are mostly about women, is due to patriarchy. Men have historically been more in control of media, the arts, etc. So men put up images of what they think is sexy. They write songs about who they think is sexy. And then we all learn to think of women as sexy and repeat the pattern, ourselves, once we get power. As patriarchy has lessoned we are beginning to see more sexualized images of men, such as these:

      Magic Mike Turns Tables on Objectification, Desire

      Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze

      David Beckham’s Sex Sells

      And you might want to take a look at these:

      Do Women See Sexy Men As Sexy?

      Men Don’t Feel Sexy–and It Sucks

      Meanwhile, men are independent and yet women are still drawn to them. And I would think that men would rather have women be drawn to them because they love them instead of because women were dependent on men. I would rather have someone be drawn to me because he loved me then because he was dependent upon me. In fact, I wouldn’t want anyone to be with me only because he was dependent on me.

  7. Nataliya Naumova

    It interesting point, and I think it is true. Women are extremely objectified in magazines, ads, movies that they start to see themselves as a sex objects. I believe that it harms women more than men, but also I know that it harms men too when women try to be porno stars in the bed. Men are really anxious about their sexual power. Man wants to be sure that his female partner is satisfied because of his efforts and knowledge about ‘doing right movements in the bed’, because he is a great lover. So, men are sensitive in this aspect, they feel when women try to be porno star, representing orgasm without experience it, and this hurts their self-esteem. In that case woman tries to be sexual and desirable, she focuses on herself because she wants to bring him pleasure by the look of her body. That is what society teaches her to do in order to be ‘sexy and beautiful.’
    I believe that this objectifying of women is another way of controlling them. It is another way to show women that they’re secondary, that they’re designed for men’s pleasure. It harms sexual life of a woman. Because she knows how she supposed to look during sex, but not what she should feel or experience. I think, it destroys sex. Sex becomes more about control rather than about pleasure and satisfactions.
    I think, people should start to think more about feelings rather than about bodies and should stop trust magazines and ads, if they want to get satisfaction during sexual act. It’s not surprising for me that couples usually don’t satisfied with sex when they try roles of porno stars because in that case they are more focused on bodies, on how they look at that moment, rather than on act or feelings.

  8. @ Christine
    Yes but the male body is not viewed as sexual attractive, thats what its about

  9. thats why most women dont have orgasms, your posts really speak to me I think simialar about it, but its not only bad for women to be honest men want also to be loved and sex and to being eroticized are important parts of love

    • Yes. If more women could get their minds off of how they look and focus on what they’re experiencing they’d enjoy sex a lot more. But women get a ton of messages from society, men, and other women, that how they look is most important. And I’d like to see the male body become more appreciated.

  10. the type of females you’re talking about ARE NOT WOMEN THEY’RE GIRLS.i’m a dominant woman who only dates submissive males.IT’S COMMON FOR SUBMISSIVE MALES TO VIEW THEMSELVES AS SEX OBJECTS.i can tell you of a few pop stars who view themselves as sex objects.JUSTIN BIEBER is a sex are some of the males who were(are) in the “twilight” movie series.MALE SEX OBJECTS ARE NOTHING NEW.they’ve been around,especially in the media for YEARS.

    • Yes, an individual man could see himself that way. Given our culture it’s most often the other way around.

      Difference between the guys you talk about and the girls I talk about is that the guys are probably actually having a sexual experience in their submission, while these girls are only focused on how they look. (Some sex objects might experience their objectification as a turn on, but THESE girls aren’t.)

  11. It saddens me to think that a lot of the reasons that women have low self esteem are mostly because of the influence of media and men’s perspectives. To think that a women has a hard time enjoying sex because of the fact that she is naturally seeing herself through a man’s eyes because she is the sexual object rather then her focus being on enjoying the experience for what it is is horrible. But unfortunately I can totally relate. In my own experiences I know that almost 80% of the time I’m very concerned with what I am doing for them and how I am looking to them rather than being concerned with my own enjoyment. It’s a constant struggle to force yourself to only be concerned with the experience and your own enjoyment rather than trying to suck it in in a certain position. It makes total sense that the author demonstrates that women and even very attractive women aren’t enjoying sex as much as they should be because outside sources have objectified women in a sexual way so much that women are seriously concerned about how good they look, preventing them from letting lose and losing themselves in what should be an incredible experience. I remember discussing a similar subject with a male friend of mine once and saying, “What should a women do in bed that would completely arouse you?” and he replied, “Don’t worry so much about us enjoying ourselves, worry about you enjoying yourself. There’s nothing hotter than a female letting go and getting turned on, and if I know you’re enjoying yourself than I’m gonna enjoy myself.” You heard it straight from the horses’ mouth ladies, do what you gotta do to get turned on. He’ll follow suit.

  12. I find David Beckham’s body more aesthetically appealing than perhaps most average women, but that does not mean I want to sleep with him (although if I had to turn gay for someone if would definitely be for someone like him, lol). But even as a straight male I think even the idea of someone like Becks being viewed as a sex object can be a turn on for me.

    I think I’m more of a ‘face man’ myself. Although, I think like most men, I don’t really get turned on by the face alone. It’s a large component on whether I have a crush/like a woman (it always comes from the face first). I’m not sure many people fall in love with a person because of their body, more fall in lust with them.

    Anyway back to the original question. I think the objectification of females, while it has occurred to some degree, is actually a pretty modern phenomena, and is related to the mass media. Once upon a time our socio-cultural values were shaped solely by our peer group: now, there is a whole generation of young people who are basically being fed by television, the internet, print media: of course that’s been going on for quite a few generations now, but never to this extent. There are an increasingly number of young teen’s who get all their ideas about sex from internet pornography, instead of experiencing everything anew through the rites of passage of adolescence. Since men really are more immediately turned on by visual stimuli, the use of ‘sex’ to sell a product is much more widespread. When women began to see all these images of other women, this created new standards in beauty. Now ads targeting women also feature ‘sexy women’, but more as a way to make them relate to that woman. That’s my take on it anyway.

  13. After reading all the comments, its is amazing to see how many women actually feel about the men in their lives. One person mentioned that “all a man wants is sex”, but as a man I don’t think that is what ALL men want. Sex to a man is a very special experience. There is something inside of all of us, men, that propels us toward having sex. It is a very strong desire that everyone of us think about many times a day. In the world of porn, men sometimes find it hard to separate the online experience with the actual physical experience. Everywhere people see women as something other than their equal. The man needs to live in a way that lifts a woman to a higher place, where they too can enjoy the time they share with them. I will say that in a relationship it is probably the man 9 times out of 10 persuading the woman to have sex with him. However, when your are in a loving relationship, sex can be a wonderful experience for both of you. Having a healthy sexual relationship, I think, includes that part about sex. As long as couples share not only sex but closeness, love and happiness, relationships will continue to be exciting and fun.

  14. This is another very interesting article. I think a lot of this has to do with pornography and the portrayal of women in many of these pictures and videos. Porn seems like it is geared to men in general, and hard core pornography often portrays a dominance over women and makes them appear as though they are objects for men. I think that this occurrence is relayed to both women and men, and the idea that the man should be the dominate one in bed seems to be omnipresent (unfortunately). Also, traditional gender roles seem to contribute to this, because in the past women have unfortunately been viewed second to men, often looked at as housewives who exist to serve the needs of men. This sad occurrence could still be resonating today in the form of sexual roles like the ones this article describes.

  15. It is really sad that the media and the patriarchal society that we live in has made it so that women view their sexuality as only what men perceive it to be. If a woman were to picture a sexual person, she is more likely to envision a woman, even if she is straight. This idea of women being sex objects has been drilled into our heads at a very young age, women aren’t able to enjoy sex because they are too preoccupied with how they look how their partner sees them. I think that this obsession with women’s sexuality is also unfair for men, to never be looked at as sexual beings can be detrimental to a couple’s sex life. The statement about the woman who has to view sex “through the eyes of her lover”, seems wrong, and that she cannot be turned on by her partner alone, that there has to be a woman involved for it to be considered “sexual”.

    • Very well put Hannah! I think that’s why I see so many women on the internet express disgust at the male body, or disinterest. Men are creepy, lecherous, simian apes who, because they are aroused by them, worship Venus the goddess. There’s probably an element of narcissism here. But yes, the number of women who express this view, and don’t truly seem to want their partner for who they are seems high. I won’t put a percentage on it, but it seems like a sizable percentage, maybe a third or even more.

      When I was younger I thought women were pretty similar in men in that respect. While I PERSONALLY found it hard to imagine thinking that someone could find men sexier than women (whether that be a gay man or a woman) I just assumed that women, since they were female, would be more turned on by the male form.

      Now I’m hearing conflicting opinions. From, ‘I’m straight, I’m only attracted to men, women do nothing for me’, to ‘I’m straight but I find women sexier or they arouse me more.’ Keep in mind I’m speaking of self-identified ‘straight women.’ Interestingly, it seems it is BI-sexual women who express greater sexual interest in the male form – or view the male form more as a sex object – than purported straight women. Which leads me to think this whole eroticization of females by females actually doesn’t have as much to do with sexual orientation as you would think. Maybe bi women are just more open about their sexual desire, and have a more all-inclusive sense of sexual attraction. I would say bi men are similarly open-minded, with ‘hetero’ men and women being somewhat constrained by the heteronormative worldview.

      I’m glad you mentioned the part about it being unfair to men as well. Men, believe it or not, want to be seen as sexy to. That does not make them less of a man or the ‘female’, let alone gay (unless he exclusively wants to be seen as sexy by men). As a straight male, I sometimes searched the internet for men being portrayed as sexy out of interest (or maybe in my bi-curious moments) but found little. Even on gay sites. But it was more curiosity than anything, to see what was out there. Personally, I want to be seen as sexy – if I work out, I want my efforts to be appreciated by my partner in the bedroom.

      I felt alone when I thought about how skewed things were in terms of only females being portrayed as sexy. I think this is changing, very slowly, but at the same time female objectification is increasing still, and faster than male objectification. Like in the other blog, I mentioned the weird phenomena of only females showing off their legs, as if men didn’t have legs. The male torso is indeed sexy, but he’s much more than pecs and biceps. But no, there are women who say they are straight who are offended by men wearing speedos, because the male genitals are rude and to be covered up. It just seemed like a mixed up way to think but thinking about what you said it actually makes sense.

      • btw, I can find men sexy even as their bodies seem less sexually charged than the female form. But for some reason I find David Beckham’s body — or the way that he poses it — very sexy. I also find men’s faces very sexy, and get much more drawn to very attractive male faces than female faces. Some studies have found that about 75% of men are “face men” (choosing face over body if a choice must be made) and 25% of men are body men. But all women are “face women”: more drawn to the male face than body.

      • I lived in another country and saw males used in advertising and portrayed as being seductive. They were attractive men too. I came back to America and only women were portrayed like that. If I feel like seeing beautiful men I look at GQ magazine because there are some to be seen. I think that maybe the men who control advertising feel a little threatened or jealous of physically attractive men. But it’s sad because I think that men want to feel attractive and desired too. Yet, at the same time I think that it could make them feel somewhat powerless because if you didn’t win the genetic lottery you could tell yourself that money and power would make you physically attractive to others.

      • Interesting. Thanks for your perspective.

        And you’re right. Men do comment on my blog that it bothers them that women don’t see them as being as sexually alluring as men see women. (Perhaps homophobia and simply only thininking about portraying “sex sells” in a way that appeals to men’s desires [that being the historical way of seeing] are also behind this.) Don’t know if this makes the men feel any better, but since women are presented with such a narrow notion of what “attractive” is, an awful lot of women don’t feel attractive either.

        Sad all around if you ask me.

      • im same like you john. even I, you and many men want to be desired by our opposite gender. but it seems women dont desire us. its sad. i think its no point of living. And Im deeeeeeeeeply depressed. no poems on male beauty. women dont ask out. women dont stare at us. women dont romance our bodies. womem dont compliment us. women dont pursue us. what is this male life john?

      • It’s a problem for all of us. Men might like to be more appreciated. And it’s a problem for women too: since women are considered the sexy ones Women feel like they are supposed to be really attractive, Yet 80% of young women have a poor body image. So is very common that women get distracted from the sexual experience because she is so focused on how she looks, instead of how she feels. Worse, she may fret over how she looks, so that the sexual experience is anything but arousing.

        Meanwhile, some men develop unrealistic expectations from a culture that idealize is a certain rare, and maybe impossible, body type.

        Also, most of my women students have asked men out. Here are a few blog posts on their experiences:

        Why Women Don’t Ask Guys Out
        Yeah, I’ve Asked Men Out
        Do Men Want Women To Ask Them Out?

  16. When I watch tv shows if the man does something wrong the woman holds having sexual relations as a punishment. Women may do that in real life as well and not just on television. Because women are seen as sex objects women are more focused on themselves as well. When having intercourse they are too focused on what they look like, if they are pleasuring the man, and other things. Men are in the moment. When having intercourse they are focused on sex only. This is one of the reasons why I believe women are seen as the sex objects. Also, another thing that was said in class is that both men and women find women attractive. Women are threatened because they don’t look like the women in magazines. The truth is no one looks like that because they are all air-brushed. Men are attracted to the cleavage, butt, legs, curves, and whatever else they find attractive in women.

    • when you really look at it you do realize that its the media mostly causing these problems in girls and young ones especially. its so very sad that young girls of at the youngest 14 15 years old feel the pressure to look like porn stars. really. fricken look at miley cyrus.

  17. Deirdre da Silva

    I think that the amount of pressure that there is today on women to fulfill this “sex-object” role is very sad. Instead of embracing who they are, and enjoying the pleasure of being with their partner, they are stressed about whether they are sufficiently beautiful or sexy. It certainly doesn’t help that everywhere we look these days, we see images of overtly sexual women being paraded as if they were objects. Women see these images and feel so much pressure to conform, and have become so preoccupied with this, lowering their self esteems, and as a result, as Mai Amas said above, women today are easily influenced by men who give them praise on the way they look, and make them feel “beautiful”. They become so engrossed in trying to keep their man happy-so he’ll want to stay- that they themselves end up not enjoying the moments that should be enjoyed.

  18. Karin Hjertstedt

    It is so sad to think that sex which is supposed to be enjoyable for both parties has also lead to yet another privilege for our male counterparts. I believe that much of it has to do with what kind of culture you are brought up in and how people around you perceive sex. Some countries have stronger patriarchy and it might be harder for girls to actually understand that they are supposed to enjoy sex and not just be an object, even if it does make them feel good to “be there for a man and look nice.” Women are the sex objects and as much as I would like to stop the objectification of women, it’s not going to happen easily neither in the bedroom nor outside of the bedroom. I hope at least that young girls can reclaim the notion that women should enjoy sex as much as men do.

  19. Women now a days are nothing but a sex object, and men will do anything to try and get in a womens pants. Yes, it is true women are beautiful and have the curves of a goddess which arouses the man to be physically attrated to a women, not only emotionally and mentally, but physically as well. Sex, in my opinion is a healthy thing for the man and woman especially because it is supposed to bring them closer together. However, sometimes women can feel that all the man wants is sex and that is it. He doesn’t want to love you in any other ways but that, and that is where we can see the true colors of a lot of men nowadays, and that is why it is so hard for women to find a good guy who will love you not only for sex, but for who you are. Young girls are very easily influenced and a guy will call a girl beautiful just to get in her pants. He can be the biggest sweet talker and try and persuade her that if he has sex with her, it will be the best thing ever. Girls like these go through these dilemmas and do not realize it is actually only for the pleasure of the man and nothing else. He is not being genuine to her, and that is what will eat her up later, once she gets older and realizes this. From time to time, we rarely see a healthy couple where the man doesnt see his woman as a sex object, but as his lucky charm and he doesnt want to do nothing but love her to the fullest with all of his heart. Women’s sexuality and body must be respected everyday. A man must not lessen her by trying to break her down and using his charisma to persuade her. Sex should be simple and pure, and for the pleasure of both who truly love each other and are both respectable to each others feelings.

  20. Contemporary America’s sexualized culture not only objectifies women, it encourages women to objectify themselves. Societal objectification means turning a woman into a thing. Sexual objectification, or sexualization, means turning a woman into a sexual thing. It occurs when a person’s value comes only from her sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics. As one who strongly believes that women should be able to confidently assert their sexuality and enjoy sex as much as the next guy – without having to suffer social condemnation for it – this can be a challenging and even confusing issue. Women’s intelligence and abilities are perceived as less important, or even irrelevant, compared to their sexuality. Most women sincerely do enjoy making themselves attractive to men. The biological tendency to sexualize women becomes neurotic when society goes overboard with it, especially by sexualizing very young girls. If women have a biological tendency to display themselves sexually in order to entice men to choose them, then it’s perfectly normal for women to objectify themselves more than men do. Women may feel inadequate or dissatisfied when they don’t meet society’s unrealistic criteria of beauty, and this can lead to consequences like eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression. If society starts treating women’s brains and abilities with more respect, minor girls would not be subjected to the media’s oversexualization of women and girls, and women in general would not be held to impossible standards of beauty, or to the sexual double standard. Instead of just blindly trying to stamp out the sexualization of women, we need to ensure that women’s own sexual agency is respected, even when they choose to “sexually objectify “themselves. Because maybe that’s just part of the wonderful, messy complexity of normal human behavior.

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