Blog Archives
Guys Just Want One Thing
Guys just want one thing.
The belief is so widespread that we needn’t say what the one thing is.
Yet the truism isn’t true.
You may have heard that since there are more women than men on college campuses these days, women are pressured to do sex the way men like it: No strings attached. Read the rest of this entry
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Shackling elephants is sad. Shackling women is hot.
The PETA ad below deplores cruelty to elephants.
Yet cruelty to women seems okay.
PETA: cruelty to women vs animals
Animal cruelty depresses me and creates a lot of anxiety. So I’m with PETA on that.
But their advertising often troubles me. Read the rest of this entry
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Red sex is for girls; Blue is for boys?
Red sex, Blue sex
When you think of red state sexuality, images of Bible believers saving themselves for marriage — or at least keeping their numbers down — may come to mind.
No wonder plenty of Southerners favor pastors and politicians who preach sex after marriage, abstinence education, no contraception, and shuttering Planned Parenthood.
And blue state sexuality? Full of “friends with benefits” and casual hookups, right? Read the rest of this entry
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His & Hers Objectification
Check out the side-by-side comparisons that show how strange it is when women and men get the same sex object treatment:
Women don’t seem to objectify men the way men do women.
It’s not that we’re any better. We just aren’t bombarded by a steady stream of sexualized and fetishized men and man-parts — that unconsciously seep into our brains. Thus, when men are turned into sex objects, it can look ridiculous.
But why’s objectification a problem? Read the rest of this entry
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Men, Myths & Female Pleasure
You understand how to fix your car. You can recite hockey stats like a scout. You understand renovations. You are good at your job. So why can’t you figure out a clitoris? The G-Spot? Do you really know if she’s faking it?
It is staggering the number of females in a longterm heterosexual marriage or relationship who tell me they rarely orgasm unless they do it themselves. The percentage is so high that I am nervous about how believable it would sound if I ventured a guess. The words, vast majority, have a truthful ring to them. Many women admit that they used to have more pleasure. Often women will tell me that their partner tries to pleasure them. More often than not, however, it’s tempting to just “lie back and dream of England”. So what is the big deal? Why is this so hard?
It really isn’t. It…
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Vibrators Were Invented to Cure Hysteria
“Hysteria” with Hugh Dancy and Maggie Gyllenhall
Strangely, vibrators were created as a medical device having nothing to do with a woman’s pleasure.
In the Victorian age in which they were invented, sex was thought to have little to do with a woman’s satisfaction.
In fact, Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville fabricated the device around 1880 to cure “hysterical paroxysm,” a condition that had been concerning the medical community since Hippocrates.
Symptoms included anxiety, sleeplessness, irritability, nervousness, fluid retention, insomnia and erotic fantasy, and was thought to result from a blocked reproductive system. The cure involved clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
But women should not necessarily administer the cure themselves. As The Guardian explained: Read the rest of this entry
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Empowered v Scripted Sex
Want pleasure? Intimacy? Fun? Empower yourself.
You can’t be autonomous and empowered if you are being run by sexual scripts.
Whether the script says everyone should be pure or the script says everyone should hookup.
Plenty of women worry that they will be punished for being sexual, “You slut, ho, skank…”
Even after marriage, the negativity won’t magically disappear. No wonder nearly half of American women have experienced sexual dysfunction.
The only message our moms or grandmas got, premaritally, was “sex is bad.” Today, messages are mixed. But can still be disempowering. Read the rest of this entry
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Men Using Sex To Gain Intimacy
Sex + Emotion
By Jonathan Cadet
Women need intimacy to get to sex, they say. Well, it may be weak for a man to admit this, but we don’t have sex just for sex. A lot of us have sex because it’s one of the few ways we can express our emotions and gain intimacy.
I’d never thought about it until my women’s psych professor talked about how hard it is for men to express emotion.
But now I think it’s one reason why we seem to crave sex more than women do. Read the rest of this entry
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Early Sex = Less Sex, Short Relationships
Quick sex = quick relationships?
Having sex early on is associated with short-term relationships. And less sex while in them.
That’s what sociologists, Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker, learned after researching young adults for their book, Premarital Sex in America.
When couples in their 20’s went to bed the first day or the first week of knowing someone, only 14% were still in a relationship a year later. If they waited a month or two, 26% remained together. After six months one-third were still a couple. Read the rest of this entry
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How Not To Do Open Relationships
By Dr. NerdLove
Reddit apparently saw fit to provide me with a story about open relationships and dating that’s so perfectly crafted and ironic that it’s practically an O. Henry story.
In case you missed it, a gentleman posted the (now deleted) story of how he pressured his girlfriend into an open relationship to the site’s Relationship subreddit. This Reddit Romeo expected that life in an open relationship would be hot and cold running blowjobs for him while his girlfriend – a heavier woman, although he rushes to point out “she was like this when we started” – would be getting whatever crumbs of affection she could scrounge.
I’ll give you three guesses as to how that all turned out. Read the rest of this entry
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