His & Hers Objectification
Check out the side-by-side comparisons that show how strange it is when women and men get the same sex object treatment:
Women don’t seem to objectify men the way men do women.
It’s not that we’re any better. We just aren’t bombarded by a steady stream of sexualized and fetishized men and man-parts — that unconsciously seep into our brains. Thus, when men are turned into sex objects, it can look ridiculous.
But why’s objectification a problem?
Isn’t sexual allure an asset? Making women feel valued? Raising their self-esteem? Making it easier to meet and get guys, and sex?
A lot of guys think so. Many wish women saw them the way they see women.
Well, all of the above CAN be true… the allure, the ease of getting sex… But there’s a downside.
Most obviously, plenty of women feel like they don’t meet sex object standards, and that can make them feel unvalued and it can lower their self-esteem.
For some reason a lot of guys think they would be immune to that.
Or, we may be ignored as our partners drool over someone else. (He’s grown used to seeing “me” so “they” seem more exciting.)
If tables turned, guys don’t think this would happen to them?
Or, maybe guys drool over us now but in a few years we will be ignored as all eyes fall on someone younger while we disappear. It’s one reason why women are generally more fearful of aging than men.
Or, being stared at can be uncomfortable or even creepy. It can be unsettling to be looked over like a piece of meat. You become a thing. Your personality disappears. You aren’t taken seriously or seen as intelligent. And while your looks matter, you don’t.
And that’s a reason why some women welcome aging.
And sure, it’s easier to get sex, but a lot of women want a whole lot more. Most of us want emotional connection, so it’s not so great to feel like a “thing” that exists for someone else’s pleasure. Or to feel like he is a Subject who sees me as an Object.
Sexy is fine, so long as you can see the whole person. So long as you don’t think that other people (objects, really) exist to sexually satisfy you. So long as “sexy” isn’t seen as just one narrow body type. So long as men can appreciate beautiful women without being embarrassing, creepy or hurtful.
But these sorts of images can make that more difficult to do.
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Posted on August 6, 2014, in body image, feminism, gender, men, objectification, psychology, sex and sexuality, sexism, women and tagged body image, feminism, gender, men, objectification, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, sexism, women. Bookmark the permalink. 35 Comments.