Blog Archives
Honesty is the Best Policy in Relationships?
Honesty is the best policy in relationships, right?
So if your girlfriend asks if her new jeans make her look fat you should frankly say, “No fatter than the rest of your clothes.”
Is honesty overrated?
Psychological research finds that couples who idealize each other early in a relationship are more likely to still be in love months later. Couples who see each other realistically early on feel less in love, and are more likely to break up sooner.
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Opposites Attract. Or Not.
Do opposites attract?
Opposites attract, they say. And most of us believe it.
In fact, most people say they want a partner who complements them — not one who reflects them.
But do they? Read the rest of this entry
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Cinderella: More Feminist Than You Think
Disney’s Cinderella
Disney’s new Cinderella is constantly labeled “unfeminist.”
I’m not so sure.
I haven’t seen the film, but based on reviews, it doesn’t sound terribly unfeminist to me.
There is a message in this film — one that may disappoint anyone looking for a new feminist heroine to emerge from the cinders. It’s about kindness and forgiveness and sticking to your values no matter what confronts you.
That’s not feminist? Read the rest of this entry
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Evolutionary Psych’s Double Standard
The double standard.
Evolutionary psychology says the sexual double standard dwells within our genes: men are naturally polygamous and women are naturally monogamous.
It can’t be helped.
Unfortunately, the theory harms women’s sexuality. And unnecessarily, because the theory has some problems. Read the rest of this entry
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Pleasure + Wound vs Pleasure + Love
I’m in a relationship with a long-term partner who wants a threesome — he says it would just be fun and wouldn’t mean anything. I laughed it off and said I wasn’t into it because I’m a monogamous person.
But we went camping and all I heard about were the hot bodies around us — and joking about getting into someone else’s pants while I’m at work, just to see if fantasy lives up to reality.
I don’t know what to do. Honestly, I’ve never found anyone else attractive. Plus, the true love bit [insert violin music here].
I’m getting worried that he doesn’t love me anymore and wants something better. This worries me because although I may not be the one for him he is definitely the one for me… Its like my soul loves him as much as my heart does.
I don’t know what to do.
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Should Women Give Men The Porn Star Experience?
The porn star experience?
A lot of guys have come to expect P.S.E. [the “Porn-Star Experience”] … and plenty of women are more than happy to oblige. A few might enjoy it, but for most it’s harrowing. I think there’s a fear that if they can’t make it happen, their boyfriend will retreat online.
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What Abusers and “Pro-Family” Conservatives Have in Common
“The pill”
Birth control sabotage is a common form of partner abuse. In a report released by the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 25 percent of women callers to the hot line, who voluntarily answered questions about birth control and pressure to get pregnant in their relationships, reported some form of reproductive coercion.
The callers said their partners hid birth control pills or flushed them down the toilet. Some refused to wear condoms or poked holes in them. One woman’s partner became furious when she got her period. Read the rest of this entry
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Relationship Terms That Dehumanize Women
By
Meanwhile, we do a very good job of dismissing relationships as unimportant in American culture, even though most guys value them very much. These expressions below need to go the way of the dodo. And yes, some of these could be applied directly to men by women or have easy parallels. Those expressions need to go away too. Read the rest of this entry
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I Can’t Stop Staring At Other Women
He’s all eyes.
Looking at other women has become a big problem for me.
I want to learn how to stop. I mean no harm, but it upsets my wife and hurts her. She says I lose touch with reality and become a different person — and don’t even notice her.
That’s from a 42-year-old man whose been married 16 years. He’s totally satisfied with his wife, he says, and has no interest in anyone else.
But he feels he has no control over his ogling. Read the rest of this entry
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Handholding, Hand Jobs, and Intimacy
I recently admitted my surprise that some people find handholding more intimate than a hand job.
And I admitted that, for me, the “aloof intimacy” of non-emotional sex ranges from unappealing to disturbing.
And then I asked people who saw things differently — both on my blog and among my friends — to tell me how they felt.
Here’s what they said — plus a few more thoughts: Read the rest of this entry
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