Blog Archives
Cross-Dressing Pleasure and Pain
Miss Rose Beauty Pageant
Musing on the enchantments of the cross-dressing “Miss Rose Beauty Pageant,” artist and transvestite, Grayson Perry opines,
That’s when the fantasies take flight… (but also) I thought: ooh, there’s a lot of pain in this room…They were doing their best to meet their own very emotional needs…
I slightly cringe when people say “Oh, it’s just a bit of fun,” because these guys are risking often their marriages, their careers, their relationship with their children and their neighbors — not to mention their bank balance sometimes, with the size of their wardrobes.
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Elliott Roger Blames Women For Patriarchy’s Problems
Elliot Roger
Women have control over which men get sex and which men don’t. Feminism is evil.
And so Elliot Roger blames women for his own problems — and for problems created by patriarchy — as he justifies his sad, horrifying, screwed up human hunting spree.
But then, if everyone else weren’t to blame, he would have to feel bad about himself.
Ironically, patriarchy — and not feminism — is the source of the particular problem he cites above. Read the rest of this entry
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Porn: Making Men Want What Women Don’t
Did the porn industry figure out that by creating male yearnings for things women don’t like, they could make more money?
Sometimes it seems like it.
It would make sense: If porn is the only place guys can get a lot of what they want, you keep ‘em coming back for more.
Sure, some women are up for pornified sex, whether enthusiastically or not. But an awful lot aren’t.
Dr. Robert Jensen, a University of Texas professor and feminist who lectures on pornography says women constantly ask him what they should do when their partners want things they find upsetting.
And I’ve given my students surveys to compare women’s and men’s sexual preferences. Here’s a small sampling of what I’ve found (more later!): Read the rest of this entry
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Fantasizing About New Men
Walk a mile in her shoes
by Donna Decker @ Ms Magazine
Dear Men:
Here is a new kind of fantasy. It is about a new kind of man.
These men are born on the campus of an Ivy League college in New England. Or at a West Coast university. Or maybe at a football-happy school on the Great Plains.
These men talk to each other. They order pizza, play fantasy football, share their feelings and do not make fun of each other for this. Mostly, they talk about the men who behave badly, who rape the women on campus, who threaten the women in online blog posts by creating a “rape guide” instructing other men how to rape specific women.
These New Men are, quite frankly, appalled. When the women activists on campus are shouting, demanding justice, they stand among them. They shout. They, too, demand justice. Read the rest of this entry
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Why Guys Think They Almost Got Laid
A man with Marian, the librarian
You walk into the library and there is an attractive woman behind the counter. You check out books or get a library card and you dare to “connect” with the librarian by chatting a bit about something other than books.
Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, in this scenario, the guy might think that he just almost had sex. He thinks that he not only could have her but that he almost did. That isn’t, of course, how the librarian probably views it. She is just doing her job.
That’s Male Sexuality Myth # 3 as Jerry Stocking described it at The Good Men Project. Jerry’s a spirituality author and blogger who helps people eliminate fear, stress and worry. He thinks Myth #3 distracts from reality and real relationships. Read the rest of this entry
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Did You Score Last Week?
How many times did you have sex last week?
If you are a 20-something American, the longer your relationship the more times you probably “did it.”
Sociologists, Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker studied young US adults for their book, Premarital Sex in America. Among other things, they wondered how often couples had sex.
Check out these numbers: 63% of couples who had been together at least four months got it on at least twice a week. That number bumped up to 72% if they’d been together seven months. After a year, 80% got laid at least once a week. Read the rest of this entry
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Do Women Objectify Men?
Men in thongs
When I talk about objectification, every now and then someone — it may be either a man or a woman — protests that:
- Women do it too!
- Women check out men!
- Playgirl exists!
- Young girls love teeny-bopper Tiger Beat
- Etc.
Do women objectify men? Read the rest of this entry
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Girls Hit On Guys Like (Some) Guys Hit On Girls
Luckily, most men already know that when approaching a woman you’re interested in, the best move does not involve leering, catcalling, groping or acting the know-it-all.
Here’s a video for those who don’t. Reversing sexual come-ons:
Also, The Guardian’s Leah Green reverses gender roles in London. Each gender-flipping encounter is based on real experiences women have tweeted about on @EverydaySexism, a project chronicling women’s everyday encounters with sexism. Read the rest of this entry
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She Doesn’t Want To “Do it”
Some guys complain that women won’t do things that men want, sexually. Or worse, they aren’t into sex, at all.
They grumble after I’ve written something like this:
A woman explains, “A lot of guys have come to expect the ‘Porn-Star Experience’ … A few women might enjoy it, but for most it’s harrowing.”
Or, Read the rest of this entry
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Sasha Baron Cohen Foils Tough Guise
By Hansel Choi
Growing up in a boy’s school I sometimes succumbed to hyper-masculine poses. Yeah, that was me, along with plenty of other guys. Silly, overblown showcasing.
And then I grew up and wondered why. Why do we do it? Why do we do it even for strangers we don’t know or care about? People we’ll never see again?
After taking some gender courses, I’ve got some clues.
Growing up there’s plenty of pressure from dads and moms and friends. But it’s more like the pressure of “how not to be.”
Don’t be fem. Don’t be gay. Read the rest of this entry
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