Winning Isn’t Everything, Donald
When Donald Trump was a little boy his dad told him – on a regular basis – that the world is divided into winners and losers, and the Trumps were winners.
Little Donald seems to have taken the lesson to heart. He has striven to prove his winning ways to himself and to everyone else all his life.
But does winning bring happiness?
Winning. But are you happy?
Even when he’s winning he doesn’t seem to be especially happy.
Donald Trump has been rich. He has been famous. He has bedded beautiful women. He has moved the levers of power in business and politics.
And yet he spent pretty much his entire campaign sounding pretty angry.
He was angry at Hillary and Bill, Megyn Kelly, Rosie O’Donnell, Miss Universe, the Chinese, Mexicans, Muslims… He’s sounded suspicious and angry that President Obama might secretly be Kenyan… I could go on.
But you can’t get enough of what doesn’t really satisfy. Apparently, power and wealth aren’t satisfying in and of themselves.
Partnership, domination and happiness
What is satisfying? Relationships are, say psychologists who have studied the matter. And those are about healthy partnerships. Not dominating and winning.
But Donald displays symptoms of narcissistic alexithymia, which makes understanding and describing one’s emotions difficult, says New York Times columnist David Brooks:
Unable to know themselves, sufferers are unable to understand, relate or attach to others.
To prove their own existence, they hunger for endless attention from outside. Lacking internal measures of their own worth, they rely on external but insecure criteria like wealth, beauty, fame and others’ submission.
But this blocks relationship and intimacy, two of the most satisfying experiences available to humankind.
Trump’s emotional makeup means he can hit only a few notes: fury and aggression… Bullies only experience peace when they are cruel. Their blood pressure drops the moment they beat the kid on the playground.
None of us would want to live in the howling wilderness of his own solitude, no matter how thick the gilding.
I’m sorry about the life-long pressure that Donald has been under to “win.” His life-so-far suggests that winning does not necessarily bring happiness. Maybe we can all take a lesson in that.