Category Archives: sex and sexuality
My History Of Sex: Sacred… Scary… Fun
By Andrew
I saw sex as sacred when I was growing up.
That was how most people talked about it at home and at church and even sex ed in middle school.
So when I was just in my early teens I thought of sex as being more about the love and relationship you have with your partner, and sex was secondary. Read the rest of this entry
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The Breast Fetish Distracts From Sex
The breast fetish makes sex super-hot, right?
Maybe not.
It can actually hurt both men’s and women’s sexual experience.
Sounds counterintuitive. But consider this: Read the rest of this entry
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Breast Fetishes and Double Standards
I wrote a post called, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” and a lot of guys wrote in to say they ARE indeed hardwired!
Some use theories from sociobiology (aka evolutionary psychology) to make their point.
For instance, some evolutionary psychologists suggest that men might be visually cued to breasts as an indicator of good health and reproductive capacity.
Yet they also say that men want to “spread their seed” widely, and will have sex with pretty much anyone.
Go figure. Read the rest of this entry
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Why Aren’t Male Strippers Sexy?
Channing Tatum in “Magic Mike”
Women go to strip clubs for “fun” and female bonding, not to get aroused.
Or maybe they want to prove that they can objectify men just as much as men objectify them.
Sure, some women find male strippers sexy, but as Tracy Clark-Flory over at Salon acknowledges:
The typical atmosphere in such an establishment isn’t one of arousal and longing, the kind that reliably fills the air in a female strip club. As far as I can tell, female patrons are typically cracking up, shielding their eyes in mock horror or cartoonishly objectifying male dancers as a performance for their friends.
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Am I Trying To Shame Men’s Breast Fetish?
My blog post, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” prompts a lot of men to write in and say “It ain’t so!”
So I ask what difference it makes whether it’s nature or nurture?
Few respond. But “Sam” did. To paraphrase:
A lot of women think that guys who get excited about breasts are immature, infantile or perverts. So men get defensive if someone suggests their attraction is socialized. If we can say ‘it is hardwired’ we can immediately dismiss those views and classify ourselves as neither perverts nor as overgrown babies… Incidentally, I can say it certainly feels completely and utterly hardwired.
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What To Do When You Get Distracted From Sex
When men have sex it seems that all of their thoughts shut off — except for sex.
So says Dr. Louann Brizendine in The Male Brain. (Guys: feel free to chime in to confirm or disconfirm.)
But women often get distracted. Read the rest of this entry
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I Liked My Body – Until I Was Told “Respect Yourself”
By Vanessa Velaquez
In the middle of writing an essay during my third week of high school I got called out of class.
I couldn’t imagine why, but my teacher’s tone meant I was in trouble. I was so scared. Since I had been writing an in-class essay I worried that she might accuse me of plagiarism.
Instead, she lectured me on self-respect.
Turns out, I had worn a shirt that was too low cut for her taste as I leaned over my desk to write. Read the rest of this entry
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Porn and My Sex Education
By Juanita Rodriguez
When I first had sex with my boyfriend I was scared.
I wasn’t worried about how to do sex. But I was afraid of this thing that was going to come inside me.
I remember thinking it looked like a snake and I had visions of it biting me or something. Long story short, I was scared of the sex act. Read the rest of this entry
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Women Want Emotionally Connected Sex. Why?
Women want emotionally connected sex.
Not all women, all the time.
But University of Texas psychologists, Cindy Meston and David Buss interviewed over 1,000 women around the world for their book, Why Women Have Sex, and here’s what they found: Read the rest of this entry
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Open Marriage Hasn’t Caught On?
Why hasn’t open marriage caught on?
Open marriage, the sensible alternative to monogamy?
On the plus side, a couple may enjoy a close-knit family and loving spousal relationship, but with an exciting dash of sexual variety.
Sex columnist, Dan Savage, is all for it. But he acknowledges that there are advantages to monogamy: sexual safety from infections, emotional safety, paternity assurances.
Still, he thinks monogamy brings boredom, despair, lack of variety, sexual death and being taken for granted. Plus, society imposes monogamy on men, who were never expected to be monogamous, he complains. Read the rest of this entry
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