Category Archives: sex and sexuality

Sex Object vs Sexy vs Sexual

Many people think that “sexual objectification” and “sexy” and “sexual” are all the same thing.

They’re not.

Here’s a quick primer: Read the rest of this entry

What’s Wrong With Hooking Up?

By Lisa Wade

Crossposted from Ms. and Sociological Images

Hanna Rosin, senior editor at The Atlantic and author of The End of Men, has written a piece about hook-up culture on and off college campuses for the September issue of her magazine. Given that I’ve done some research on hook-up culture, here are my two cents: Rosin isn’t wrong to argue that the culture offers women sexual opportunities and independence, but she mischaracterizes the objections to hook-up culture and draws too rosy a conclusion. Read the rest of this entry

Quiz: Why Does Female Armor Suck?

Female Armor: Not so good at protecting vital organs.

Female Armor: Not so good at protecting vital organs.

Since “Female Armor Sucks” has over 11 million views you may have already seen the video below. But since students keep sending me a link, I give up: I’ll post it.

Along with a quiz:

Why does heroine-armor fail to cover vital organs? Read the rest of this entry

Why Do I Care About The Breast Fetish?

470_2580418I’ve written a series of posts criticizing the breast fetish, not because I’m trying to shame men but because I am concerned with:

  • Women’s self-esteem.
  • Women’s ability to enjoy sexuality. (And if women enjoy it more so do men.)
  • Getting rid of double standards

But I’m not interested in shaming men about the fetish. So what is my point? How would I like to see things change? Read the rest of this entry

My History Of Sex: Sacred… Scary… Fun

By Andrew

I saw sex as sacred when I was growing up.

That was how most people talked about it at home and at church and even sex ed in middle school.

So when I was just in my early teens I thought of sex as being more about the love and relationship you have with your partner, and sex was secondary.  Read the rest of this entry

The Breast Fetish Distracts From Sex 

The breast fetish makes sex super-hot, right?

Maybe not.

It can actually hurt both men’s and women’s sexual experience.

Sounds counterintuitive. But consider this: Read the rest of this entry

Breast Fetishes and Double Standards

I wrote a post called, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” and a lot of guys wrote in to say they ARE indeed hardwired!

Some use theories from sociobiology (aka evolutionary psychology) to make their point.

For instance, some evolutionary psychologists suggest that men might be visually cued to breasts as an indicator of good health and reproductive capacity.

Yet they also say that men want to “spread their seed” widely, and will have sex with pretty much anyone.

Go figure. Read the rest of this entry

Why Aren’t Male Strippers Sexy?

Channing Tatum in “Magic Mike”

Women go to strip clubs for “fun” and female bonding, not to get aroused.

Or maybe they want to prove that they can objectify men just as much as men objectify them.

Sure, some women find male strippers sexy, but as Tracy Clark-Flory over at Salon acknowledges:

The typical atmosphere in such an establishment isn’t one of arousal and longing, the kind that reliably fills the air in a female strip club. As far as I can tell, female patrons are typically cracking up, shielding their eyes in mock horror or cartoonishly objectifying male dancers as a performance for their friends.

Read the rest of this entry

Am I Trying To Shame Men’s Breast Fetish?

My blog post, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing” prompts a lot of men to write in and say “It ain’t so!”

So I ask what difference it makes whether it’s nature or nurture?

Few respond. But “Sam” did. To paraphrase:

A lot of women think that guys who get excited about breasts are immature, infantile or perverts. So men get defensive if someone suggests their attraction is socialized. If we can say ‘it is hardwired’ we can immediately dismiss those views and classify ourselves as neither perverts nor as overgrown babies… Incidentally, I can say it certainly feels completely and utterly hardwired.

Read the rest of this entry

What To Do When You Get Distracted From Sex 

When men have sex it seems that all of their thoughts shut off — except for sex.

So says Dr. Louann Brizendine in The Male Brain. (Guys: feel free to chime in to confirm or disconfirm.)

But women often get distracted.  Read the rest of this entry

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