Category Archives: men

“Moana,” Men and Masculinity

Disney’s Moana

By “Bob”

Moana is out on video so I bought it for my niece and nephew. As we watched it I was surprised at the truths it told about men and masculinity. Read the rest of this entry

Wanna Know What Guys Want? 

What guys want. For you to enjoy yourself.

Checking out porn to see what guys want?

Women sometimes do this. But it could backfire.

A young man commenting on my blog worried that his girlfriend (his first sexual partner) had done just that:

It seems she’s done research in pornography, and for the past couple of months she does things she thinks girls do all the time during sex.

But he didn’t like it. To paraphrase: Read the rest of this entry

Real Men Don’t Beat, Rape Women

By Ted Esparza

family-violence[1]Constance Johnson was a domestic violence prosecutor – and also a battered wife.

She met her husband, Ben, in college and fell in love. They got married and were very happy for three years.

But then he began criticizing her. Everything was her fault. He was always right. And she was too fat — at 110 lbs.

After they moved near her husband’s aging parents to help them – Ben’s idea — the violence began. He didn’t seem happy after the move and one morning he decided he didn’t like his breakfast.

“Make it yourself.” Constance told him.

— SLAP — Read the rest of this entry

Seeing My Male Privilege

Male privilege

Male privilege

By Jonathan Castellanos

I’ve often thought how nice it must be to be white.

Popular, attractive, upper class: these are words I’ve come to associate with whiteness.

But until recently I hadn’t given much thought to privileges I gain from being male. Read the rest of this entry

Safe v Dangerous Fraternities

Fraternity rape culture

Fraternity rape culture

When a Dartmouth frat brother invited “Lisa” to a house party she felt honored, and eagerly accepted. But after arriving she had just a couple of drinks and passed out.

The next thing she remembers is waking up at a hospital.

Sitting in her hospital bed she noticed bruises on her chest that looked like bites. Lisa told Janet Reitman at Rolling Stone, Read the rest of this entry

Porn Fantasy Mistaken for Reality

Porn fantasy versus reality.

Porn fantasy versus reality.

By Demon Ted

Does porn raise men’s expectations of how women should perform in bed? I believe it depends entirely on the man’s ability to distinguish between real life and fantasy.

True, you could try to recreate porn in real life. But then it’s not real. It’s acting. So you’re back to fantasy.

I think porn is great to enjoy. But men must realize what it is.

Unfortunately, a lot of men (and some women in regards to things like Twilight) get fantasy and reality mixed up. And that can harm relationships.

Take my girlfriend’s ex. He’s a nasty piece of work. Barely finished high school, can’t drive, no job. Literally sits at home all day. But because my girlfriend was young when she met him, he became a lot of “firsts.” And he made her think that things that weren’t healthy were. Read the rest of this entry

Don’t Buy Cow If Milk Is Free

cow-milk-for-freeA male reader, I’ll call him Jed, wrote in with this warning:

There is a price to be paid when women have casual sex. It might be unfair. It might not be unfair. But there it is, be it biology, socialization, patriarchy…whatever… If women give sex away for free, men won’t marry them.

Put more grossly:

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Read the rest of this entry

The Drip, Drip Toward Abuse

Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.

Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.

By Caroline R. 

At the beginning of my freshman year of college I began dating “Bob,” who seemed sweet, genuine and caring.

The first few months were the most amazing of my life. The perfect honeymoon. And I fell fast.

The rest of the relationship was a whirlwind of hurt. Read the rest of this entry

Richer Than A King, He Put A Bullet Through His Brain

"Le Suicidé" by Edouard Manet

“Le Suicidé” by Edouard Manet

By “Bob”

These words seem to strike a nerve among men:

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

We people on the pavement looked at him 

He was a gentleman from sole to crown,

Clean favored, and imperially slim.…

And he was rich – yes, richer than a king –

And admirably schooled in every grace:

In fine, we thought that he was everything

To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,

And went without the meat, and cursed the bread

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,

Went home and put a bullet through his head. Read the rest of this entry

Why Don’t Men Slut-Shame Men?

The sexual double standard.

The sexual double standard.

Women are more likely than men to slut-shame women.

Yet men don’t seem to shame men for having sex. Ever.

Instead, the sexual “conqueror” gets high-fives from guys who praise his prowess.

What’s up with that? Read the rest of this entry

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