Category Archives: men

Don’t Buy Cow If Milk Is Free

cow-milk-for-freeA male reader, I’ll call him Jed, wrote in with this warning:

There is a price to be paid when women have casual sex. It might be unfair. It might not be unfair. But there it is, be it biology, socialization, patriarchy…whatever… If women give sex away for free, men won’t marry them.

Put more grossly:

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

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The Drip, Drip Toward Abuse

Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.

Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.

By Caroline R. 

At the beginning of my freshman year of college I began dating “Bob,” who seemed sweet, genuine and caring.

The first few months were the most amazing of my life. The perfect honeymoon. And I fell fast.

The rest of the relationship was a whirlwind of hurt. Read the rest of this entry

Richer Than A King, He Put A Bullet Through His Brain

"Le Suicidé" by Edouard Manet

“Le Suicidé” by Edouard Manet

By “Bob”

These words seem to strike a nerve among men:

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

We people on the pavement looked at him 

He was a gentleman from sole to crown,

Clean favored, and imperially slim.…

And he was rich – yes, richer than a king –

And admirably schooled in every grace:

In fine, we thought that he was everything

To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,

And went without the meat, and cursed the bread

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,

Went home and put a bullet through his head. Read the rest of this entry

Why Don’t Men Slut-Shame Men?

The sexual double standard.

The sexual double standard.

Women are more likely than men to slut-shame women.

Yet men don’t seem to shame men for having sex. Ever.

Instead, the sexual “conqueror” gets high-fives from guys who praise his prowess.

What’s up with that? Read the rest of this entry

Guys Just Wanna Have Relationships?

Hand holding“All men cheat.” “He can’t keep it in his pants.” “Men only talk about beer, sex and sports.”

That’s Lisa Hickey over at The Good Men Project reciting stereotypes about the supposed sex-craved male. But stereotypes aren’t reality, she says. And she’s got backup from Wake Forest psychology professor, Andrew P. Smiler who recently wrote a book called, “Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male.”

Smiler says it’s no wonder we think men are all about casual sex. Stereotypes abound and play out in pop culture. Walking through TV history we’ve got: Read the rest of this entry

Why Do Flashers Flash?

flasherWhy do flashers flash?

I’ve always wanted to know. Their discussion boards might clue us in. If you check them out you might see comments like this: Read the rest of this entry

Men Fearing Women’s Sexuality

Fearing women's sexuality.

Fearing women’s sexuality.

By Jonathan Jefferson

Back in high school I was surprised at the amount of hatred that could be directed toward women in common, everyday conversation.

Guys talked about ex-girlfriends or girls they’d slept with in such a negative light.

If a girl had been with another boy — at all — anyone who slept with her later could do no better than “sloppy seconds.”  Read the rest of this entry

Men Needn’t Hate Pretty Women

angry-manThere must be a lot of men who hate pretty women because Google constantly brings them — or people who want to understand them – to me via this post: “Men Who Hate Pretty Women.”

They come, and they say things like this:

Beauty makes me extremely angry, so much that I can’t stand to look at beautiful women in the street … She’d want somebody taller, richer, more muscular, more handsome, more whatever it is that women want.

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What Men Think Women Want From Romance

romance-3By 

They walk hand in hand. Their eyes meet briefly. Wistful smiles touch their lips. They sigh as one. When the couple reaches the park bench they sit and talk a moment. He grins. She giggles. Then he goes down on one knee, an unmistakable little box in one hand. With hope in his eyes, he pops the question and opens the box, extending it forward, waiting, holding his breath with his heart racing for her single word reply. Read the rest of this entry

My Son Wants to Be Snow White for Halloween

Defying gender norms for Halloween

Defying gender norms for Halloween

One day early last fall, I returned from work and discovered my son in a dress. And not just any dress. A Snow White dress. I can’t say it was a complete shock. Luke had been telling my wife and me for more than a week that he wanted to be Snow White for Halloween. Whenever Melanie or I gently suggested an alternate costume, he would calmly respond, “No, I think I have to be Snow White. I dropped my bag and made what I hoped was a suitable fuss over the costume. My face still taut with manufactured glee.

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