Nice Guys Are A Turnoff?
A lot of guys complain that being nice kills off the feminine libido.
But that doesn’t make sense to me because I’m only attracted to nice guys. So are my friends.
And plenty of women are attracted to these nice guys:
Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, George Clooney, Antonio Banderas, Ryan Gosling…
Okay, they’re all super-hot, which may overcome the downside of being nice?
Yet other Average-Joe’s aren’t movie star gorgeous and I still think they are sexy — and nice:
Economist, Paul Krugman, comedians Stephen Colbert and Seth Myers, astrophysicist and Cosmos host, Neil deGrasse Tyson…
If women liked bad boys instead of nice guys they’d be lined up for badass action flicks instead of lined up to watch Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle.
And, women using Tinder often reject perfectly chiseled faces. Why? The guys are perceived as egotistical and unkind. Guys with softer jaws seem more compassionate. They want nice guys!
Still, plenty of men get turned down with declarations like,
You’re a nice guy, but…
That doesn’t mean he’s unattractive because he’s nice.
In fact, most women are drawn by men who are nice, confident — and who see “her” as irresistible. Plus some undefined je ne sais quoi that varies from woman to woman.
Meanwhile, some guys rage over how horrible women are because they don’t like nice guys — like them.
If you are raging, you are not nice.
Sure, some women are with men who aren’t nice (which leads to “confirmation bias” — we see what we expect to see):
- A few are indeed attracted to bad boys.
- Some are drawn to narcissists because, apparently, narcissists make more of an effort to “look good”.
- Others fall for men who power up the charm offensive only to later reveal their abusiveness. (Many women stay for a variety of reasons, maybe a fear of poverty or a hope that he will return to “Mr. Wonderful.”)
But the widespread belief that women don’t like nice guys can be dangerous, leading to misogyny and ill-treatment of women.
Unfortunately, not everyone we find attractive will find us attractive.
But fortunately, tastes vary.
And most women do like nice guys.
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Posted on January 5, 2015, in men, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, women and tagged men, nice guys, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, women. Bookmark the permalink. 116 Comments.